List of worst things ever purchased at a strip club (1 Viewer)

[moleculo]

Lap dance from lactating performer.

Shut up. No way. Really?

Bachelor party, buy lap dance for the guest of honor, goes to the corner booth, 30 seconds later screaming like he had been hit on the battlefield. Not only was she dripping she would projectile "milk" herself and try to hit the front row. Locals thought it was best thing ever. Cheyenne Wyoming, no words.

Green Door or Clowns Den?Eta: Cheyenne, WY is my hometown, so I can say this with some authority. That town is not a Mecca for hot women and I would not expect to see anything exciting. Cheyenne is a great drinking town, terrible strip club town.

 

[beer 30]

I paid 90 dollars for a Peruvian butt suck from a Thai pre-op tranny from the Dominican Republic and her name was Tranny Ramirez.

I'm not sure where this thread will end up but there is no way this post doesn't finish in the top three and if it doesn't win I'm not gonna lie, it will be a disappointment.

I don't think he's being truthful.

That is way down on my list of criteria in this thread

 

[rockaction]

$3000+ worth of talking and guilt. Bad, bad purchase. Hot, hot woman.

For 3000 you better have gotten take out....

There is no good way to answer this.

But even years later, strippers would indeed lactate curdled something on my arms at the club, we'd make out, and then they'd pay for me and write their names and number on a dollar bill (probably to a burner phone), which I would then promptly pay for gas with because the likelihood of anything real happening, even if it was real, was about nil.

It was all stupid. Strip clubs aren't even good places to blow off steam anymore, as cstu just downright told you. And a lot of times, it's not that they hate the customers, they hate life itself. There's a weird sort of modern feminist undertone that goes on with some of them. Or a hatred. Or an addiction or former addiction. Or a bizarre hope of the good life.

And some are just cool, everyday (but always warped) people who adopt a warped culture and make do with it.

 

[Clifford]

So the $3k is cumulative or one-time?

 

[rockaction]

So the $3k is cumulative or one-time?

It's a very weird story that culminates in borrowing a small amount of money that completely ruins the whole deal. The moral, without getting too involved, is that you can't even buy somebody's time and expect it to work out well in a social sense. It's still a purchase of a natural thing that should be given freely.

 

[johnnycakes]

I paid 90 dollars for a Peruvian butt suck from a Thai pre-op tranny from the Dominican Republic and her name was Tranny Ramirez.

I'd use all 5 likes on this if I could.

An oldie but a goodie.

 

[Clifford]

So the $3k is cumulative or one-time?

It's a very weird story that culminates in borrowing a small amount of money that completely ruins the whole deal. The moral, without getting too involved, is that you can't even buy somebody's time and expect it to work out well in a social sense. It's still a purchase of a natural thing that should be given freely.

Why you getting all Obi Wan in a strip club thread?

 

[rockaction]

So the $3k is cumulative or one-time?

It's a very weird story that culminates in borrowing a small amount of money that completely ruins the whole deal. The moral, without getting too involved, is that you can't even buy somebody's time and expect it to work out well in a social sense. It's still a purchase of a natural thing that should be given freely.

Why you getting all Obi Wan in a strip club thread?

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Lap dance from lactating performer.

 

[DrrDetroit]

Felt sorry for a 8 month pregnant dancer. She seemed to be addicted to meth the way her teeth looked. It was all nude place and her tang smelled like a work boot with manure in it. Hey breasteses were long and not very attractive. Maybe a b cup or b long if you will. 20 bucks of smelly tang on my knee that somehow gave me diarrhea. The worst part was a one armed guy who talked to me after the dance telling me about how he finger banged her two songs earlier. I didn't ask if Mcsweat stains used his artificial claw or his good meat beater on her. I guess if the baby is born missing an eye the mystery is over.

 

[jon_mx]

So people don't think strippers have sex?

 

[nirad3]

Felt sorry for a 8 month pregnant dancer. She seemed to be addicted to meth the way her teeth looked. It was all nude place and her tang smelled like a work boot with manure in it. Hey breasteses were long and not very attractive. Maybe a b cup or b long if you will. 20 bucks of smelly tang on my knee that somehow gave me diarrhea. The worst part was a one armed guy who talked to me after the dance telling me about how he finger banged her two songs earlier. I didn't ask if Mcsweat stains used his artificial claw or his good meat beater on her. I guess if the baby is born missing an eye the mystery is over.

Huh, which hand did he use?

...

oh, wait...

 

[Kanil]

Lap dance from lactating performer.

Shut up. No way. Really?

Bachelor party, buy lap dance for the guest of honor, goes to the corner booth, 30 seconds later screaming like he had been hit on the battlefield. Not only was she dripping she would projectile "milk" herself and try to hit the front row. Locals thought it was best thing ever. Cheyenne Wyoming, no words.

Clowns Den?

 

[Kanil]

We just went on a bachelor's party cruise to Mexico. One of the guys that was single went to get a private dance for $20 which turned into sex for $100. Part way through she asked if he wanted another girl. As he put it, "That was the worst time to ask, I would have paid anything". $180 more dollars for the second girl. She shows up, he changes to her, 2 pumps and done.

The best part was as soon as he got down to the stage area they started handing out 2-for-1 coupons.

Edited to add:

There was also a lactating girl there. I saw her squirt some random tourist girl after the guy that was there with her wouldn't pay anymore money at the stage.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Lap dance from lactating performer.

Shut up. No way. Really?

Bachelor party, buy lap dance for the guest of honor, goes to the corner booth, 30 seconds later screaming like he had been hit on the battlefield. Not only was she dripping she would projectile "milk" herself and try to hit the front row. Locals thought it was best thing ever. Cheyenne Wyoming, no words.

Clowns Den?

Sounds like my kinda place.

 

[HughHoney]

Guy I work with paid $20 and got a son.

Gets a lap dance that turns into sex, he knocks her up and now has a 1 year old son with a stripper.

 

[That one guy]

Cooter toe...wasn't a specific item of purchase, but because I was wearing sandals the lapdance resulted in such

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Guy I work with paid $20 and got a son.

Gets a lap dance that turns into sex, he knocks her up and now has a 1 year old son with a stripper.

What could go wrong?

 

[ghostguy123]

Guy I work with paid $20 and got a son.

Gets a lap dance that turns into sex, he knocks her up and now has a 1 year old son with a stripper.

How in God's name was she able to track him down??? He had to have done some incredibly stupid conversing for her to even know where to start that search process.

 

[Van Dyman]

Cooter toe...wasn't a specific item of purchase, but because I was wearing sandals the lapdance resulted in such

 

[The General]

Tried to take out money from an ATM at one. Got a receipt to take to a cashier window where I got 200 dollars in "Rick's Tokens".

 

[jon_mx]

Tried to take out money from an ATM at one. Got a receipt to take to a cashier window where I got 200 dollars in "Rick's Tokens".

That ought to be illegal, but I am sure they had fine print somewhere you missed.

 

[The General]

Tried to take out money from an ATM at one. Got a receipt to take to a cashier window where I got 200 dollars in "Rick's Tokens".

That ought to be illegal, but I am sure they had fine print somewhere you missed.

Seriously. Pretty genius though, I was handing those things out to my friends. Was not going home with them.

 

[HughHoney]

Guy I work with paid $20 and got a son.

Gets a lap dance that turns into sex, he knocks her up and now has a 1 year old son with a stripper.

How in God's name was she able to track him down??? He had to have done some incredibly stupid conversing for her to even know where to start that search process.

They exchanged numbers. They didn't talk for awhile after it happened, then she found out she was pregnant and texted him to hang out. They hang out a few times. She never tells him she's pregnant. He realizes he shouldn't get involved with a stripper and breaks it off. She goes the entire pregnancy without ever telling him he's the father. Then drops the bomb on him after the kid is born. He did get a paternity test.

 

[chet]

A burger with special sauce.

 

[ChainsawU]

They exchanged numbers. They didn't talk for awhile after it happened, then she found out she was pregnant and texted him to hang out. They hang out a few times. She never tells him she's pregnant. He realizes he shouldn't get involved with a stripper and breaks it off. She goes the entire pregnancy without ever telling him he's the father. Then drops the bomb on him after the kid is born. He did get a paternity test.

I believe this. Strippers are very cunning, strategic thinkers.

 

[ghostguy123]

They exchanged numbers. They didn't talk for awhile after it happened, then she found out she was pregnant and texted him to hang out. They hang out a few times. She never tells him she's pregnant. He realizes he shouldn't get involved with a stripper and breaks it off. She goes the entire pregnancy without ever telling him he's the father. Then drops the bomb on him after the kid is born. He did get a paternity test.

I believe this. Strippers are very cunning, strategic thinkers.

Giving your name/number to a stripper you bang has to be the dumbest thing in history.

That's like a Jurassic World plot line

 

[rockaction]

I believe this. Strippers are very cunning, strategic thinkers.

Very much so. It is sad to watch them try and outthink much smarter, cunning, strategic thinkers, though. It's like you can see the wheels spinning. That's when you start to feel bad.

 

[rockaction]

Giving your name/number to a stripper you bang has to be the dumbest thing in history.
That's like a Jurassic World plot line

Dude, some people are not thinking rationally when they do this. They're thinking, "please and again." Having stripper strange for a while is like King #### of #### Mountain stuff to some guys.

 

[ghostguy123]

Giving your name/number to a stripper you bang has to be the dumbest thing in history.
That's like a Jurassic World plot line

Dude, some people are not thinking rationally when they do this. They're thinking, "please and again." Having stripper strange for a while is like King #### of #### Mountain stuff to some guys.

Doesn't make it any less dumb.

Fake name/number, get HER number.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

A $500 old-fashioned. Not the drink.

 

[cstu]

They exchanged numbers. They didn't talk for awhile after it happened, then she found out she was pregnant and texted him to hang out. They hang out a few times. She never tells him she's pregnant. He realizes he shouldn't get involved with a stripper and breaks it off. She goes the entire pregnancy without ever telling him he's the father. Then drops the bomb on him after the kid is born. He did get a paternity test.

I believe this. Strippers are very cunning, strategic thinkers.

Giving your name/number to a stripper you bang has to be the dumbest thing in history.

That's like a Jurassic World plot line

Having sex with a stripper unless you're snipped is a Jurassic World plot line.

 

[ghostguy123]

Having sex with a stripper unless you're snipped is a Jurassic World plot line.

Sub plot.

Having another kid with her might be a Pacific Rim sequel

 

[Das Boot]

Lap dance - showed up late after a long hh. Grabbed the first chick I saw after finding my buddies. Good lap dance, girl was all over me. Fast forward to the next place, a buddy asked me what was all over my white button down shirt......looked down and there were streaks of blood everywhere. Bought a T-shirt from the bar threw my shirt in the garbage then went home and took a long shower in the fetal position. Don't go to burbon street in Phoenix.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTQAMD3R4Ow

 

[Das Boot]

We just went on a bachelor's party cruise to Mexico. One of the guys that was single went to get a private dance for $20 which turned into sex for $100. Part way through she asked if he wanted another girl. As he put it, "That was the worst time to ask, I would have paid anything". $180 more dollars for the second girl. She shows up, he changes to her, 2 pumps and done.

The best part was as soon as he got down to the stage area they started handing out 2-for-1 coupons.

Edited to add:

There was also a lactating girl there. I saw her squirt some random tourist girl after the guy that was there with her wouldn't pay anymore money at the stage.

 

[IC FBGCav]

A girl Arizona Ron knows?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Candy.

She was terrible.

 

[17seconds]

Felt sorry for a 8 month pregnant dancer. She seemed to be addicted to meth the way her teeth looked. It was all nude place and her tang smelled like a work boot with manure in it. Hey breasteses were long and not very attractive. Maybe a b cup or b long if you will. 20 bucks of smelly tang on my knee that somehow gave me diarrhea. The worst part was a one armed guy who talked to me after the dance telling me about how he finger banged her two songs earlier. I didn't ask if Mcsweat stains used his artificial claw or his good meat beater on her. I guess if the baby is born missing an eye the mystery is over.

 

[Zegras11]

Virgin LapDancer.

Second dance was unreal

 

[Hot Diggity Dog]

Lap dance from lactating performer.

Shut up. No way. Really?

Bachelor party, buy lap dance for the guest of honor, goes to the corner booth, 30 seconds later screaming like he had been hit on the battlefield. Not only was she dripping she would projectile "milk" herself and try to hit the front row. Locals thought it was best thing ever. Cheyenne Wyoming, no words.

Green Door or Clowns Den?Eta: Cheyenne, WY is my hometown, so I can say this with some authority. That town is not a Mecca for hot women and I would not expect to see anything exciting. Cheyenne is a great drinking town, terrible strip club town.

It has been over ten years so I couldn't tell you. Definitely not the town to go to if your looking for ladies. I remember thinking I could find better looking strippers by hiring some crack whores off of Colfax here in Denver. I got drunk ASAP and went back to the hotel to sleep.

 

[Thunderlips]

We used to go to this place called The Fantasy Showbar in NJ. Buddy of mine used to pay like 20.00 a pop for polaroids of the girls sitting with him. He even used to get them to sign the back with lines like "The reason I'm smiling is because I'm thinking of your hot #### up my ###". Never understood spending that money on that.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

I believe this. Strippers are very cunning,

strategic thinkers.

Very much so. It is sad to watch them try and

outthink much smarter, cunning, strategic thinkers, though. It's like you can see the wheels spinning. That's when you start to feel bad.

Yeah, sounds like you really were able to outthink the dumb skank that drained you for three racks

 

[Fat Nick]

A broken hand after punching a wall when my stripper ex-gf that I had just broken up with found out about the other stripper I started hanging out with. Man...I DON'T miss those days.

 

[ChainsawU]

We used to go to this place called The Fantasy Showbar in NJ. Buddy of mine used to pay like 20.00 a pop for polaroids of the girls sitting with him. He even used to get them to sign the back with lines like "The reason I'm smiling is because I'm thinking of your hot #### up my ###". Never understood spending that money on that.

I would spend about 200 bucks on this. Today.

 

[ChainsawU]

Commemorating your night out with ten different polariod photos of you with ten different strippers who ALL want your hot #### up their ###es, are you kidding me?

 

[Quez]

A broken hand after punching a wall when my stripper ex-gf that I had just broken up with found out about the other stripper I started hanging out with. Man...I DON'T miss those days.

Stripper love triangle! MAN I MISS THOSE DAYS!

 

[Quez]

Anyone want to hang out in the online strip club & make it rain? They accept bit coin!

http://2001live.com/

 

[rockaction]

I believe this. Strippers are very cunning,

strategic thinkers.

Very much so. It is sad to watch them try and

outthink much smarter, cunning, strategic thinkers, though. It's like you can see the wheels spinning. That's when you start to feel bad.

Yeah, sounds like you really were able to outthink the dumb skank that drained you for three racks

You assume way too much. I never said I outthought them. Watching some of their boyfriends and the mob that ran the place, though? Yow.

eta* And I really wouldn't say that, anyway, because the money didn't matter at that point in my life. I was there to hang out and blow it before starting grad/law school. I was working well and getting paid, applying to schools, and blowing off steam at nights.

eta2* If anything, I wound up trusting the strippers and sex industry girls more than the lawyer ones I went to school with, and I can say that with a good deal of certainty, if not an absolute one.

 

[Deepster]

When I got my first job, down the street from the office was a low rent strip club that advertised "Free Lunch". My buddy and I used to go there all the time for it. On the pool table was a package of Oscar Meyer baloney, individual wrapped American cheese slices, yellow mustard and a loaf of white bread. We weren't making any money, living check to check and eating these lunches a couple times a week and going to happy hours for dinner on Thursday and Friday.

One lunch, I got a dance from a Puerto Rican stripper who was pregnant. Rubbed her belly and said "bambino". She also had a bullethole scar on her upper back shoulder area.

 

[[icon]]

When I got my first job, down the street from the office was a low rent strip club that advertised "Free Lunch". My buddy and I used to go there all the time for it. On the pool table was a package of Oscar Meyer baloney, individual wrapped American cheese slices, yellow mustard and a loaf of white bread. We weren't making any money, living check to check and eating these lunches a couple times a week and going to happy hours for dinner on Thursday and Friday.

One lunch, I got a dance from a Puerto Rican stripper who was pregnant. Rubbed her belly and said "bambino". She also had a bullethole scar on her upper back shoulder area.

mmmmm Bologna.