Made a funny with my wife this morning. (1 Viewer)

[johnnycakes]

My wife hates air conditioning... we usually put it on when we go to bed so I can go to sleep, then she usually gets too cold during the night, gets up, and shuts it off. Fine. No problem, but today when I got up, it was 94% humidity according to the weather. I'm just dripping sweat sitting at my desk. She fixes breakfast and brings it to me (Denver omelette)... I'm just dripping wet it's so humid... we start talking and I'm just dripping so much I can't stand it... I grab a magazine and start to fan myself.. she quickly takes it and starts flailing away to fan me. It's working pretty good.

Then she says, "you need to get a fan."

"I already have one", I say.

"Where?" she asks, looking around.

"over there" I reply motioning in her direction.

She looks around some more... finally light dawns on marble head...

"oh... I get it" she says..

 

[Dan Lambskin]

ror

 

[Godsbrother]

I am waiting for the funny part

 

[Andy Dufresne]

Beer thirty comes awfully early in some parts, doesn't it?

 

[Parrothead]

no sex?

 

[Insein]

No lovey long time then?

 

[Andy Dufresne]

Then she says, "you need to get a fan."

"I already have one", I say.

"Where?" she asks, looking around.

"over there" I reply motioning in her direction.

She looks around some more... finally light dawns on marble head...

"oh... I get it" she says..

I get it too. She was standing RIGHT NEXT TO the fan.

 

[Politician Spock]

I feel like a just read a script to a 50's sitcom.

 

[Parrothead]

I feel like a just read a script to a 50's sitcom.

this thread needs a laugh track

 

[Al O'Pecia]

no sex?

I thought for sure the story was going to end with Johnny getting some Hunanny.

 

[Wildcat]

I think if my wife hated air conditioning and was turning it off in the middle of the night, I'd get a divorce. She can always wear more clothing and blankets on. What can you do? Dumb.

 

[James Daulton]

She did bring him a nice breakfast at his desk.

 

[eoMMan]

Sounds like an episode of The Big Bang Theory.

 

[Osaurus]

Humidity is no joke :unbearablefloridasummer:

 

[johnnycakes]

She did bring him a nice breakfast at his desk.

And then stood there and fanned me while I ate.

 

[Cjw_55106]

I don't think I would retell the story. I sure as hell wouldn't create a thread for it.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

She did bring him a nice breakfast at his desk.

And then stood there and fanned me while I ate.

Wow. Sounds like you bought a good one.

 

[jon_mx]

I am waiting for the funny part

Someone would marry him.

 

[jon_mx]

Might have been funnier if you said, "lower....lower...lower.....faster....faster"...and started to moan.

 

[Dan Gladden's Mustache]

:roarin:

 

[glock]

I don't think I would retell the story. I sure as hell wouldn't create a thread for it.

Oh come on. It wasn't about his "joke" being FUNNY. It was all about his wife and her "marble head."

 

[Parrothead]

I don't think I would retell the story. I sure as hell wouldn't create a thread for it.

Oh come on. It wasn't about his "joke" being FUNNY. It was all about his wife and her "marble head."

sounds dirty

:cuelaughtrack:

 

[johnnycakes]

I don't think I would retell the story. I sure as hell wouldn't create a thread for it.

Oh come on. It wasn't about his "joke" being FUNNY. It was all about his wife and her "marble head."

You have better material this morning? Please entertain us!

 

[kentric]

Get a raunchy magazine for her to use as a fan and you've got the stuff for a Friday thread (or a Tuesday Arizona Ron thread).

 

[johnnycakes]

Get a raunchy magazine for her to use as a fan and you've got the stuff for a Friday thread (or a Tuesday Arizona Ron thread).

Now THAT's positive thinking!!

 

[cstu]

So getting a Chinese isn't all it's cracked up to be?

 

[TheIronSheik]

Then she says, "you need to get a fan."

"I already have one", I say.

"Where?" she asks, looking around.

"over there" I reply motioning in her direction.

She looks around some more... finally light dawns on marble head...

"oh... I get it" she says..

I get it too. She was standing RIGHT NEXT TO the fan.

 

[skol asylum]

International human sex trafficking is hilarious.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

My wife hates air conditioning... we usually put it on when we go to bed so I can go to sleep, then she usually gets too cold during the night, gets up, and shuts it off. Fine. No problem, but today when I got up, it was 94% humidity according to the weather. I'm just dripping sweat sitting at my desk.

Well this is just silly. Tell her to put on some sweats and deal with it.

 

[shadyridr]

THATS THE FUNNIEST THING I EVER HEARD. JOHNNY YOU ARE A COMIC LEGEND!

 

[Niles Standish]

I think if my wife hated air conditioning and was turning it off in the middle of the night, I'd get a divorce. She can always wear more clothing and blankets on. What can you do? Dumb.

Lose weight?

 

[Al O'Pecia]

I think if my wife hated air conditioning and was turning it off in the middle of the night, I'd get a divorce. She can always wear more clothing and blankets on. What can you do? Dumb.

Lose weight?

Gold Bond his balls?

 

[Cjw_55106]

I don't think I would retell the story. I sure as hell wouldn't create a thread for it.

Oh come on. It wasn't about his "joke" being FUNNY. It was all about his wife and her "marble head."

You have better material this morning? Please entertain us!

Better material? From today? Not much of a time frame to work with, but I'll try.

I got up to make coffe, but it was already brewing!

The I realized, I dont even drink coffee. :laughtrack;

I went to the car, and the tires were flat. :laughtrack:

When I got to work, I said to my boss: A duck walks into a drug store and says Give me some Chapstick and put it on my bill.

 

[Parrothead]

so I said "remember the Alamo", and I pushed her off the plane

:laughtrack:

 

[(HULK)]

Did you keep your receipt? Maybe you can exchange her for one that likes air conditioning?

 

[Fennis]

sounds like she is getting a bit too Americanized.

 

[shadyridr]

The Aristocrats!

 

[johnnycakes]

sounds like she is getting a bit too Americanized.

Her driving needs to be Americanized.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

On vacation, Ole is at a bar in West Fargo when a man makes a bet wtih him, "I'll ask you a question...you get it right and I'll buy you a beer. Get it wrong and you owe me." Ole Agrees.

Guy says "My mother had a baby...it wasn't my sister...it wasn't my brother...so who was it?"

Ole thinks and thinks but can't get it. Guy says "It was ME stupid! Buy me a beer!"

Ole likes that one so the next time he's at the bar with Lars he makes the same bet. He asks Lars the same question ""My mother had a baby...it wasn't my sister...it wasn't my brother...so who was it?"

Ole thinks and thinks and finally answers, "Well, it was you Ole."

Ole says, "No stupid! It was some guy in West Fargo! You owe me a beer!"

 

[GroveDiesel]

I, for one, appreciate the attempt to humor the FFA.

 

[TheIronSheik]

On vacation, Ole is at a bar in West Fargo when a man makes a bet wtih him, "I'll ask you a question...you get it right and I'll buy you a beer. Get it wrong and you owe me." Ole Agrees.

Guy says "My mother had a baby...it wasn't my sister...it wasn't my brother...so who was it?"

Ole thinks and thinks but can't get it. Guy says "It was ME stupid! Buy me a beer!"

Ole likes that one so the next time he's at the bar with Lars he makes the same bet. He asks Lars the same question ""My mother had a baby...it wasn't my sister...it wasn't my brother...so who was it?"

Ole thinks and thinks and finally answers, "Well, it was you Ole."

Ole says, "No stupid! It was some guy in West Fargo! You owe me a beer!"

 

[Politician Spock]

Remember the episode where Janet and Chrissy had a miss understanding with Jack?

 

[johnnycakes]

On vacation, Ole is at a bar in West Fargo when a man makes a bet wtih him, "I'll ask you a question...you get it right and I'll buy you a beer. Get it wrong and you owe me." Ole Agrees.

Guy says "My mother had a baby...it wasn't my sister...it wasn't my brother...so who was it?"

Ole thinks and thinks but can't get it. Guy says "It was ME stupid! Buy me a beer!"

Ole likes that one so the next time he's at the bar with Lars he makes the same bet. He asks Lars the same question ""My mother had a baby...it wasn't my sister...it wasn't my brother...so who was it?"

Ole thinks and thinks and finally answers, "Well, it was you Ole."

Ole says, "No stupid! It was some guy in West Fargo! You owe me a beer!"

 

[Andy Dufresne]

Oh, I forgot to add...Lars paid up.

 

[peaces]

like a chinese fan...racist and sexist. nice. did you plow her rice paddy?

 

[johnnycakes]

like a chinese fan...racist and sexist. nice. did you plow her rice paddy?

Actually, we did have morning nookie before i got up.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

THIS ONES EATING MY POPCORN

 

[tri-man 47]

So she says to me "wharf? I thought you said go down on the dwarf?!"

:laughtrack:

 

[shadyridr]

like a chinese fan...racist and sexist. nice. did you plow her rice paddy?

Actually, we did have morning nookie before i got up.

That mustve been tough :laughtrack:

 

[kentric]

like a chinese fan...racist and sexist. nice. did you plow her rice paddy?

Actually, we did have morning nookie before i got up.

You did it while you were still sleeping? I for one am impressed.