Marriage and Friends of the Opposite Sex (1 Viewer)

[Gianni Verscotchie]

I've never been in the friend zone. Probably because I've been in relationships most of my life.

My experience has always been "If we're talking now, we'll be banging soon"

 

[belljr]

So you couldn't be a groomsman?

I mean I had a bil I didn't really know as a groomsman because my wife's sister was in the wedding

 

[McGarnicle]

Wait ....did I just read you were a bridesmaid?

A male co-worker of mine was recently the "man of honor" in a chick's wedding. Friend Zone level 1000.

Okay! I'm done now. Stop the world from spinning for a second, I'm getting off.

 

[FUBAR]

So you couldn't be a groomsman?

I mean I had a bil I didn't really know as a groomsman because my wife's sister was in the wedding

A lot of guys are groomsmen because their sister is marrying some schmo. Works the other way too.

I guess if she asks you to be her man of honor or bridesman, you do it; it's her wedding. But it would seem weird.

 

[Dondante]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Is this the same guy who a few posts after this admitted that he never actually told his SO that he banged his female friends?

It has never come up. I'm not keeping it from her. If she asked I'd tell her. And I wouldn't be a part of a relationship where I was messing around on her either. By the way, what the f is your point?

 

[RUSF18]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Is this the same guy who a few posts after this admitted that he never actually told his SO that he banged his female friends?

It has never come up. I'm not keeping it from her. If she asked I'd tell her. And I wouldn't be a part of a relationship where I was messing around on her either. By the way, what the f is your point?

Apologies if you addressed this earlier...this girl, who you had sex with before you met your wife...you still hang out with her? And your wife has no reason to otherwise think something has happened between you two previously?

Playing with a scorching fire if so. A lot of women, rightly or wrongly, think of withholding information to be the same as lying.

 

[Slapdash]

Answering your questions:

Yes.

Maybe my spouse isn't interested in doing those things? There are various activities that my fiance would rather sit at home than doing.

Same things I normally would talk to anyone about. Food, music, or movies mostly. I'm not interested in baseball, but do most of my sports talking on the internet anyways.

Could you be more specific?

What sort of things do you like doing with another woman that your wife isn't interested in?

Also, is your wife interested in food, music, or movies?

Mostly meaning "new" women, as there does seem to be a difference in forming new close relationships with women after marriage, and maintaining old ones.

Bars, sports, concerts, and outdoor activities is mostly what I was thinking. A lot of that has to do with health issues that prevent her from being in sunlight for long or having more than a drink or two. She is interested in food, but not music or movies.

Gotcha. I'm probably in the "married men/women can be friends, thought it's probably inappropriate more often than not" camp.

I have long history of close female friendships from HS/college, and was even a bridesmaid, so I understand that male/female non-sexual relationships can be great. I wouldn't rule it out, but I have a hard time imagining myself drumming up a new one though.

Yeah, I've always gotten along well with female friends. And the situation with fiance is a bit different because of the amount of things she cannot do and the amount of travel for work.

That said, sometimes you strike up a new friendship without really intending to. It is important to have that base of trust and to make attempts to do things with her involved if feasible.

 

[Dondante]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Is this the same guy who a few posts after this admitted that he never actually told his SO that he banged his female friends?

It has never come up. I'm not keeping it from her. If she asked I'd tell her. And I wouldn't be a part of a relationship where I was messing around on her either. By the way, what the f is your point?

Apologies if you addressed this earlier...this girl, who you had sex with before you met your wife...you still hang out with her? And your wife has no reason to otherwise think something has happened between you two previously?

Playing with a scorching fire if so. A lot of women, rightly or wrongly, think of withholding information to be the same as lying.

First of all I'm not married. My girlfriend and I are serious and have friends of the opposite sex. We don't really ask too many questions as we spend almost all of our time together. There are times that we spend time away and some of those times we spend with friends that are not mutual. Some of those friends are of the opposite sex. In my case, I've slept with some of the ladies I still see/talk with from time to time. It's not a big deal. It happened. It doesn't happen anymore. My girlfriend really just doesn't ask any questions. If she did ask, I'd tell her what she wanted to know. It's just not a big deal. I don't understand what all the hubbub is over this. Grown-ups have sex. A lot of them have sex with people they enjoy. Some of them don't have to have sex to remain in each other’s lives. That's where I'm at. It's also, thankfully, where my girlfriend is at.

 

[pollardsvision]

So you couldn't be a groomsman?

I mean I had a bil I didn't really know as a groomsman because my wife's sister was in the wedding

I suppose so, but that wouldn't have made much sense.

If the groom was marrying someone I didn't know, it's unlikely I'd have even been invited to the wedding.

 

[Reegus]

So you couldn't be a groomsman?

I mean I had a bil I didn't really know as a groomsman because my wife's sister was in the wedding

I suppose so, but that wouldn't have made much sense.If the groom was marrying someone I didn't know, it's unlikely I'd have even been invited to the wedding.

What color was your dress? Did you catch the bouquet? ###.

 

[Insein]

So you couldn't be a groomsman?

I mean I had a bil I didn't really know as a groomsman because my wife's sister was in the wedding

I suppose so, but that wouldn't have made much sense.If the groom was marrying someone I didn't know, it's unlikely I'd have even been invited to the wedding.

Neither would a brother of the bride.

 

[Insein]

Answering your questions:

Yes.

Maybe my spouse isn't interested in doing those things? There are various activities that my fiance would rather sit at home than doing.

Same things I normally would talk to anyone about. Food, music, or movies mostly. I'm not interested in baseball, but do most of my sports talking on the internet anyways.

Could you be more specific?What sort of things do you like doing with another woman that your wife isn't interested in?

Also, is your wife interested in food, music, or movies?

Mostly meaning "new" women, as there does seem to be a difference in forming new close relationships with women after marriage, and maintaining old ones.

Bars, sports, concerts, and outdoor activities is mostly what I was thinking. A lot of that has to do with health issues that prevent her from being in sunlight for long or having more than a drink or two. She is interested in food, but not music or movies.

Gotcha. I'm probably in the "married men/women can be friends, thought it's probably inappropriate more often than not" camp.I have long history of close female friendships from HS/college, and was even a bridesmaid, so I understand that male/female non-sexual relationships can be great. I wouldn't rule it out, but I have a hard time imagining myself drumming up a new one though.

Yeah, I've always gotten along well with female friends. And the situation with fiance is a bit different because of the amount of things she cannot do and the amount of travel for work.That said, sometimes you strike up a new friendship without really intending to. It is important to have that base of trust and to make attempts to do things with her involved if feasible.

Just seems odd but perhaps you found the one woman in a million that is OK with you striking up new friendships with other women to spend time with them instead of her.

 

[pollardsvision]

So you couldn't be a groomsman?

I mean I had a bil I didn't really know as a groomsman because my wife's sister was in the wedding

I suppose so, but that wouldn't have made much sense.If the groom was marrying someone I didn't know, it's unlikely I'd have even been invited to the wedding.

What color was your dress? Did you catch the bouquet? ###.

No dress or bouquet. I did get to hook up with a couple of groomsmen though, so it wasn't entirely a wasted weekend.

 

[pollardsvision]

So you couldn't be a groomsman?

I mean I had a bil I didn't really know as a groomsman because my wife's sister was in the wedding

I suppose so, but that wouldn't have made much sense.If the groom was marrying someone I didn't know, it's unlikely I'd have even been invited to the wedding.

Neither would a brother of the bride.

The only reason to do that is because it's not customary to have a dude in a tux standing among the bridesmaids, but that doesn't mean it makes sense (not that I care what others do). More likely, it's an "evening it up" type thing (that I think is silly to worry about too).

A dear friend was getting married, and wanted me to be in it. I stood on her side because that's what made sense. No reason to overthink it.

 

[Insein]

So you couldn't be a groomsman?

I mean I had a bil I didn't really know as a groomsman because my wife's sister was in the wedding

I suppose so, but that wouldn't have made much sense.If the groom was marrying someone I didn't know, it's unlikely I'd have even been invited to the wedding.

Neither would a brother of the bride.

The only reason to do that is because it's not customary to have a dude in a tux standing among the bridesmaids, but that doesn't mean it makes sense (not that I care what others do). More likely, it's an "evening it up" type thing (that I think is silly to worry about too).A dear friend was getting married, and wanted me to be in it. I stood on her side because that's what made sense. No reason to overthink it.

Yea they made a movie about you. I think that dude from Greys Anatomy is in it.

 

[Reegus]

So you couldn't be a groomsman?

I mean I had a bil I didn't really know as a groomsman because my wife's sister was in the wedding

I suppose so, but that wouldn't have made much sense.If the groom was marrying someone I didn't know, it's unlikely I'd have even been invited to the wedding.

Neither would a brother of the bride.

The only reason to do that is because it's not customary to have a dude in a tux standing among the bridesmaids, but that doesn't mean it makes sense (not that I care what others do). More likely, it's an "evening it up" type thing (that I think is silly to worry about too).A dear friend was getting married, and wanted me to be in it. I stood on her side because that's what made sense. No reason to overthink it.

Yea they made a movie about you. I think that dude from Greys Anatomy is in it.

Did it bother you that everyone attending thought you were a ######?

 

[bentley]

This thing got weird.

 

[Moe.]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

Seriously. Not sure if this is a generational thing or what but I am pretty baffled by a lot of the responses. Maybe it's because I'm not married.

 

[Insein]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

Seriously. Not sure if this is a generational thing or what but I am pretty baffled by a lot of the responses. Maybe it's because I'm not married.

Uh that's exactly why. When you're committed to one woman, having others as "friends" doesn't jive.

 

[pollardsvision]

So you couldn't be a groomsman?

I mean I had a bil I didn't really know as a groomsman because my wife's sister was in the wedding

I suppose so, but that wouldn't have made much sense.If the groom was marrying someone I didn't know, it's unlikely I'd have even been invited to the wedding.

Neither would a brother of the bride.

The only reason to do that is because it's not customary to have a dude in a tux standing among the bridesmaids, but that doesn't mean it makes sense (not that I care what others do). More likely, it's an "evening it up" type thing (that I think is silly to worry about too).A dear friend was getting married, and wanted me to be in it. I stood on her side because that's what made sense. No reason to overthink it.

Yea they made a movie about you. I think that dude from Greys Anatomy is in it.

Did it bother you that everyone attending thought you were a ######?

I'm not positive that I've interpreted the filtered out names you keep calling me correctly, but if I have, I highly doubt anyone attending assumed that my standing on the left side of the aisle meant I was homosexual, and if anybody did, I assure you, I wouldn't give a ####.

 

[belljr]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

Seriously. Not sure if this is a generational thing or what but I am pretty baffled by a lot of the responses. Maybe it's because I'm not married.

probably. I have never been friends solo with a girl I didn't want to hook up with. I am friendly with spouses coworkers etc that are female, yes. But I just never felt like hanging with a girl I didn't want to date

 

[MaxThreshold]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

Seriously. Not sure if this is a generational thing or what but I am pretty baffled by a lot of the responses. Maybe it's because I'm not married.

Uh that's exactly why. When you're committed to one woman, having others as "friends" doesn't jive.

</endOfThread>

 

[SacramentoBob]

You bone this broad yet?

 

[Ditka Butkus]

So this is what I got:

There are those of us who are horn dogs, who can't have female friends because in the end we want to bone them.

and

There are others who somehow can have a female friend without wanting to bone them

and

There is at least one guy who was a bridesmaid at his girl who is a friend wedding.