What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

My son has a crazy gf. what to do? (1 Viewer)

toshiba said:
Good job defending the parents rights, you might keep a family in tact.  Well that is minus a child.
Click to expand...
Again with the worst possible scenario.  What a frightening world you must live in.  I'm truly sorry for that.

 
jomar said:
define 'reasonable possibilty'. 

anything greater than .001% is more than enough for me when its completely unnecessary for me to drive to a strangers house and, in a best case scenario, upend their world by telling them their daughter self-harms and is talking of suicide.  in a worst case scenario, they already know that, and they know the reasons, and they would do anything to make sure nobody else knows.  all for what?  so that the school doesn't find out?  ridiculous
Click to expand...
Going to the school first undermines the parents and takes them out of the decision making. Maybe they should be removed from it, but if it were my kid I'd want to know before the school knows.

 
jomar said:
define 'reasonable possibilty'. 

anything greater than .001% is more than enough for me when its completely unnecessary for me to drive to a strangers house and, in a best case scenario, upend their world by telling them their daughter self-harms and is talking of suicide.  in a worst case scenario, they already know that, and they know the reasons, and they would do anything to make sure nobody else knows.  all for what?  so that the school doesn't find out?  ridiculous
Click to expand...
This is what you're getting out of all of this?

 
toshiba said:
Can you give me a situation where informing the school/CPS is hurtful?
Click to expand...
The daughter is already in therapy her parents put her in, the school is now involved which makes the situation far more public, increasing the stress on the daughter resulting in regression and more self-harm and a feeling of persecution.

What do I win?

 
Harry Manback said:
The daughter is already in therapy her parents put her in, the school is now involved which makes the situation far more public, increasing the stress on the daughter resulting in regression and more self-harm and a feeling of persecution.

What do I win?
Click to expand...
You win foosball's fear first award!

 
toshiba said:
Can you give me a situation where informing the school/CPS is hurtful?
Click to expand...
You don't think there are ever situations where the more people that know the worse the child feels?  I'm floored that so many people feel like the school and CPS are the only ones that can help and must be called at all costs.

 
Foosball God said:
Maybe the parents want their kids talking to different paid professionals.  Maybe they feel like the ones at the school aren't qualified enough?
Click to expand...
maybe the parents are abusing the daughter and are going to make her pay for telling her BF and letting out the family secrets?

 
Foosball God said:
You don't think there are ever situations where the more people that know the worse the child feels?  I'm floored that so many people feel like the school and CPS are the only ones that can help and must be called at all costs.
Click to expand...
Did I say they are the only ones who can help?  I don't recall ever saying that.

But great dodge!

 
OK, this has been an interesting discussion.  It has opened my eyes to a different view point.  I don't agree with it, but to each their own.  

 
did people miss the part in this scenario where CPS WAS NOT CALLED?  the police did a wellness check or whatever its called.  she probably has already talked to a counselor today.  It isn't like I posted this info on FB for everyone to know.

 
Foosball God said:
OK, this has been an interesting discussion.  It has opened my eyes to a different view point.  I don't agree with it, but to each their own.  
Click to expand...
Thank you for avoiding name calling and discussing this like an adult.  It is very appreciated!!!

 
jomar said:
did people miss the part in this scenario where CPS WAS NOT CALLED?  the police did a wellness check or whatever its called.  she probably has already talked to a counselor today.  It isn't like I posted this info on FB for everyone to know.
Click to expand...
I don't think anyone was attacking you.  I certainly wasn't.  I gave you my point of view which is what I thought you created this thread for.  I'm sorry it didn't match up with your philosophy.

 
toshiba said:
No, foosball was saying that motivations by fear were problematic.  And that we live in a sad world when decide by fear.
Click to expand...
You literally asked for a negative scenario, when give one you pounce stating I'm somehow fearful. This is why your discussions never end well with people.

 
My two cents as a parent who's been on the other end of that phone call. My 13-year-old kid spent the night at their best friend's house, the two had a really deep conversation and my kid shared some fairly significant thoughts about self-harm. The friend's mom called us the next morning and told us. We were floored - had absolutely no idea. 

We swung into action, got help. Two years later, my 15-year-old is thriving. It was a tough phone call for the friend's mom to make (not to mention a tough call to get) and I am so eternally grateful she picked up the phone and told us. 

I'm also very appreciative she had enough of a relationship with us, and enough self-confidence, to call us first and not the school. But like I said, it was a hard enough call for her to make, and we were semi-friends, not to mention upstanding citizens. So I would say, if any of you is ever in a similar situation MAKE A CALL. My strong preference would be to call the parents first. But if that's just not something you're going to do, for whatever reason, then the next best thing is call the school. I think Protective Services would be the last resort, because that brings the law into things and somehow seems to cross the line from "getting help for the kid" to "checking up on the parents" but it's also the right thing to do if you have to. But whatever you do, don't leave it in the hands of your teenager to deal with, and don't ignore some other poor kid's need for help. Make a call. 

 
The_Man said:
My two cents as a parent who's been on the other end of that phone call. My 13-year-old kid spent the night at their best friend's house, the two had a really deep conversation and my kid shared some fairly significant thoughts about self-harm. The friend's mom called us the next morning and told us. We were floored - had absolutely no idea. 

We swung into action, got help. Two years later, my 15-year-old is thriving. It was a tough phone call for the friend's mom to make (not to mention a tough call to get) and I am so eternally grateful she picked up the phone and told us. 

I'm also very appreciative she had enough of a relationship with us, and enough self-confidence, to call us first and not the school. But like I said, it was a hard enough call for her to make, and we were semi-friends, not to mention upstanding citizens. So I would say, if any of you is ever in a similar situation MAKE A CALL. My strong preference would be to call the parents first. But if that's just not something you're going to do, for whatever reason, then the next best thing is call the school. I think Protective Services would be the last resort, because that brings the law into things and somehow seems to cross the line from "getting help for the kid" to "checking up on the parents" but it's also the right thing to do if you have to. But whatever you do, don't leave it in the hands of your teenager to deal with, and don't ignore some other poor kid's need for help. Make a call. 
Click to expand...
Toshiba would prefer you not be involved in your own childs welfare, and let the government handle it.

 
Harry Manback said:
Toshiba would prefer you not be involved in your own childs welfare, and let the government handle it.
Click to expand...


If we could put politics aside for just one second, my point is that if you ever find yourself in a position like the OP did, please do what his family did and make whatever call you feel  you're capable of making. Family, or school, or the FBI, I don't care. Just call someone so that maybe a kid who is in a bad way can get help. I'm fortunate that my kid's friend called me, but if having the cops knock down my door is what it would have taken for me to find out what my kid couldn't tell me, that would have been ok too. 

 
The_Man said:
If we could put politics aside for just one second, my point is that if you ever find yourself in a position like the OP did, please do what his family did and make whatever call you feel  you're capable of making. Family, or school, or the FBI, I don't care. Just call someone so that maybe a kid who is in a bad way can get help. I'm fortunate that my kid's friend called me, but if having the cops knock down my door is what it would have taken for me to find out what my kid couldn't tell me, that would have been ok too. 
Click to expand...
No politics here.

I had said all along call the parents first, if they don't seem receptive/proactive then call the school.

Toshiba is the one saying you are harming the child if you don't call the school first.

 
Foosball God said:
I don't think anyone was attacking you.  I certainly wasn't.  I gave you my point of view which is what I thought you created this thread for.  I'm sorry it didn't match up with your philosophy.
Click to expand...
no issue, just wanted to clarify about CPS since some people had mentioned it. 

 
Harry Manback said:
You literally asked for a negative scenario, when give one you pounce stating I'm somehow fearful. This is why your discussions never end well with people.
Click to expand...
I didn't ask you, I asked foos. I wanted to see what foos would come up with, I didn't really care about your thoughts on the matter.  Foos was having a logical sound argument and I wanted to see where it went.

 
Harry Manback said:
No politics here.

I had said all along call the parents first, if they don't seem receptive/proactive then call the school.

Toshiba is the one saying you are harming the child if you don't call the school first.
Click to expand...
I am not saying you are harming the child if you don't call the school first.  But you continue to mischaracterize what I am saying because you are either unwilling or incapable of seeing an alternate point of view in a reasonable and adult manner.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
toshiba said:
I didn't ask you, I asked foos. I wanted to see what foos would come up with, I didn't really care about your thoughts on the matter.  Foos was having a logical sound argument and I wanted to see where it went.
Click to expand...
Next time you might want to use the PM function if you want a one on one conversation instead of being a jerk to people who participate.  Doosh level is strong in this one.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
toshiba said:
I didn't ask you, I asked foos. I wanted to see what foos would come up with, I didn't really care about your thoughts on the matter.  Foos was having a logical sound argument and I wanted to see where it went.
Click to expand...
Wow you must have a lot of really strong personal relationships.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

ChiefD
Estate Experts
Replies
12
Views
284
BeTheMatch
BeTheMatch
Nigel
My son...Officer Candidates School??
Replies
25
Views
710
Kanil
Kanil
scorchy
Any banking guys that can offer solutions to a vexing issue?
Replies
31
Views
795
Mrs. Rannous
Mrs. Rannous

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top