That's awesome news, CE. I was thinking about your situation this morning, and planning to bump this thread today.
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*Official Adoption Thread* (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter GroveDiesel
- Start date
Follows Closely
Footballguy
Give that little guy a bug hug from all of us!
CrossEyed
Footballguy
fatguyinalittlecoat
Footballguy
Congrats CrossEyed, Mrs. CrossEyed and Erik.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
fatguyinalittlecoat said:
Just to clarify, we don't get to adopt him yet. We'll be foster parents until he's free for adoption. The county asked for a goal change at the first 3-month hearing, but it was continued until October 30. So it will still probably be another year or so before we can actually adopt him.For those of you who have adopted little ones, have you changed their names? We have no problem with the name Erik, but he is a "Jr." and his dad isn't the nicest guy in the world. So we thought about leaving his middle name the same (Christopher) but changing his first name if the adoption process moves quickly. Thoughts?Follows Closely
Footballguy
One of our foster kids shares a middle name with the bio parents. We will be changing that once we adopt. First names are a bit trickier for us since they are 3+ years old. We would like to change one of them, but we will probably keep all the first names. But our reservations are based on the age of the child, and confusion it will cause the siblings. Given the age of Erik, and his only child status, I say go for it.fatguyinalittlecoat said:Just to clarify, we don't get to adopt him yet. We'll be foster parents until he's free for adoption. The county asked for a goal change at the first 3-month hearing, but it was continued until October 30. So it will still probably be another year or so before we can actually adopt him.For those of you who have adopted little ones, have you changed their names? We have no problem with the name Erik, but he is a "Jr." and his dad isn't the nicest guy in the world. So we thought about leaving his middle name the same (Christopher) but changing his first name if the adoption process moves quickly. Thoughts?
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CrossEyed
Footballguy
My dad goes by J.C. so we thought it might be nice to change his first name to a name that starts with J so there would be another J.C. in our family. I think my dad would really be honored by that. Obviously if Erik was older that would be tricky, but as long as the adoption goes relatively quickly I think we could accomplish that without too much confusion.One of our foster kids shares a middle name with the bio parents. We will be changing that once we adopt. First names are a bit trickier for us since they are 3+ years old. We would like to change one of them, but we will probably keep all the first names. But our reservations are based on the age of the child, and confusion it will cause the siblings. Given the age of Erik, and his only child status, I say go for it.fatguyinalittlecoat said:Just to clarify, we don't get to adopt him yet. We'll be foster parents until he's free for adoption. The county asked for a goal change at the first 3-month hearing, but it was continued until October 30. So it will still probably be another year or so before we can actually adopt him.For those of you who have adopted little ones, have you changed their names? We have no problem with the name Erik, but he is a "Jr." and his dad isn't the nicest guy in the world. So we thought about leaving his middle name the same (Christopher) but changing his first name if the adoption process moves quickly. Thoughts?
chuckorc
Footballguy
We're in the same boat but our adoption should be finalized by the end of next month.fatguyinalittlecoat said:Just to clarify, we don't get to adopt him yet. We'll be foster parents until he's free for adoption. The county asked for a goal change at the first 3-month hearing, but it was continued until October 30. So it will still probably be another year or so before we can actually adopt him.For those of you who have adopted little ones, have you changed their names? We have no problem with the name Erik, but he is a "Jr." and his dad isn't the nicest guy in the world. So we thought about leaving his middle name the same (Christopher) but changing his first name if the adoption process moves quickly. Thoughts?
The girls we are adopting are my wife's nieces 4 and 5 years old. So changing their first names was definitely off the list as they can spell and write them already. Plus we figured they had enough to deal with switching from calling us aunt and uncle to mom and dad. We decided to append to their middle names, each girl's middle name will be changed to add part of one of our mothers names (Dawn-Mae and Mary-Jean) and they will receive my last name. I figure the would have something from their birth mom and we could honor our mothers at the same time. Anyway from what I understand the name changing process doesn't slow things down at all. All we had to do was fill out a form and have it notarized. Then we gave the for to our case worker along with the check that pays for the new birth certificates, filling costs, etc. Just hope you case worker isn't downsized in the middle of the process and changes offices. Congratulations and good luck
Mystery Achiever
Footballguy
Wow the day has finally come, CE. Congratulations to Erik!!!!!!!!
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Thanks. It's pretty amazing. I'm sure it will only get better.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Thanks. It's been a blessing. We're still figuring things out and learning what he likes and doesn't like. He was congested when we picked him up and got progressively worse for a few days. Last Thursday night he had us up until 3:00 and we had to take him to the Dr. Said he probably had RSV, but that he was over the hump. He had pneumonia at 22 days, so we're cautious when it comes to breathing/lung issues. We've also figured out that he tends to be pretty warm. Mrs. CE has had him in long sleeves and heavier type pants and he seems to get fussy. We figured out that when we were changing him he seemed to be much more pleasant. So we switched to short sleeves and lighter weight pants and that has definitely helped. His bio parents have missed 3 of their 4 visits since we have had him. That should work in our favor at the next hearing (October 30). The county is asking for the goal to be changed to adoption and for the visits to be reduced from twice/week to twice/month. We'll see what happens.And we have decided to call him Christopher (his middle name) for now. When we adopt him we will change his first name to Jonathan, which means "God has given" or "gift from God". That will also make his initials J.C., which is what my dad goes by. We thought my dad would feel pretty honored by that. We haven't told him yet.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Took our little guy for a developmental evaluation at Magee Hospital this morning. He still has some low muscle tone in his upper body (gonna have to start hitting the weights) but other than that he is progressing nicely. His length, weight and head circumference are all right around the 75th percentile. All of his other neurological tests were normal. So he is progressing nicely.
The only problem is that we can't get him to shake this lousy cold he has. He's been sick the entire two weeks he's been with us. We ended up in the ED with him Friday night. Turns out he has an ear infection. The zithromax has made diaper time interesting, but it seems to be helping his ear.
It's only been two weeks and he has my heart already. Even with his illness, he's been such a pleasant little guy. Mrs. CE and I feel incredibly blessed.
The only problem is that we can't get him to shake this lousy cold he has. He's been sick the entire two weeks he's been with us. We ended up in the ED with him Friday night. Turns out he has an ear infection. The zithromax has made diaper time interesting, but it seems to be helping his ear.
It's only been two weeks and he has my heart already. Even with his illness, he's been such a pleasant little guy. Mrs. CE and I feel incredibly blessed.
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Praying that the medication clears things up. Sounds like he's in great hands though. It's awesome that he now has people who care so much for him.
Knowing how screwed up the system can be, we'll keep praying for what's best for the little guy.
Knowing how screwed up the system can be, we'll keep praying for what's best for the little guy.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Thanks. His bio parents canceled another visit today. They're supposed to call the day before if they are canceling. This is the second time that they haven't canceled until Mrs CE was either already there or almost there (it's a 35 minute drive for us). So far they have only made it to one out of 5 visits since we've had him. Hopefully the judge reduces their visits on the 30th.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Parents missed another visit on Thursday but made it today. So far they are 2 for 7 since we've had him.
One of the caseworkers spoke with Mrs. CE and told her that they think they have a very strong case to get a goal change and reduction in visits on the 30th. She also told her that the father said in front of everyone, including the mother, that the only way he will marry her is if they get their son back. The guy is a real piece of work. Mrs. CE told them that he wasn't due for a bottle until 10:30 today. They fed him at 9:30 and he ended up spitting it all back up.
Also, the little guy is doing much better. His breathing has finally cleared up (still giving him the albuterol treatments) and he's a happy guy again. He's extremely pleasant when he isn't sick. Yesterday morning he was so much fun I didn't want to drop him off at daycare.
One of the caseworkers spoke with Mrs. CE and told her that they think they have a very strong case to get a goal change and reduction in visits on the 30th. She also told her that the father said in front of everyone, including the mother, that the only way he will marry her is if they get their son back. The guy is a real piece of work. Mrs. CE told them that he wasn't due for a bottle until 10:30 today. They fed him at 9:30 and he ended up spitting it all back up.
Also, the little guy is doing much better. His breathing has finally cleared up (still giving him the albuterol treatments) and he's a happy guy again. He's extremely pleasant when he isn't sick. Yesterday morning he was so much fun I didn't want to drop him off at daycare.
just visiting this thread for the first time as adoption is now on our radar. i'll look through the other 7 pages when i get a chance but for now, is anyone familiar with adoptionnetwork.com or "the adoption network law center"? i'm not exactly sure what to make of their website or the services they offer.
thanks for any info.
thanks for any info.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Continuation of last month's hearing was this morning. Unfortunately it got continued again. Pretty bizarre morning.
The attorney for the mother asked that she be excused from the case. After her last phone conversation with the mother on 10/19, the dad got on the phone and started yelling a cursing at her. So she hung up on him. 10 minutes later the attorney got a call from a local police officer (not even the municipality in which the parents live) letting her know that the parents had filed a police report that she had threatened the dad. The judge granted that request and excused her from the case. At this time the parents hadn't even showed up. The attorney for the dad requested a continuance since he wasn't there yet. The judge, after sending the bailiff out to the hallway to call for both parents, denied that and proceeded to listen to testimony. While the CYS caseworker was on the stand, the mother and father showed up. When she was done with her testimony the judge asked the dad's attorney if he was ready to proceed. He said that he was prepared to proceed on behalf of his client but not on behalf of the mother and that he thought she should be appointed new counsel before anything proceeded.
The judge then asked the mother to come forward, swore her in, and asked her some questions, such as if she knew the time of the hearing and why she was late. Her response was, "Because of the lights in (town they live in)". The judge replied, "Because of the lights?" "Yes, we left early but we hit every light, so that's why we were late." You could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't very happy at this point. He then asked her, "Do you know how long it takes to get from (X) to (Y)?" She hesitated for a minute and then said, "No." At that time the judge looked at the CYS attorney and asked him if he agreed that, while he would like to proceed, it would be doing her a disservice to proceed without assigning her counsel. The attorney reluctantly agreed. The judge then told the mother that she would be assigned counsel, did not have the right to choose her counsel, and that if she did anything to cause the second attorney to be dismissed from the case that it would proceed without counsel. He then told her to keep her attorney away from her boyfriend, and that he was not to have any contact or conversation with them
This is where it got even more interesting. The boyfriend at that time stood up, raised his hand and began to speak. The judge sternly and loudly told him to sit down and be quiet, that he wasn't talking to him, and that any communication to the court would have to come from his attorney. He then proceeded to tell him that if he hears of any attempt on his part to speak to the mother's attorney that he would feel "the full wrath of this court" and would find himself in contempt and in jail.
So no goal change or change in visitation, but I certainly think the judge is closer to ruling in favor of changing the goal to adoption at the next hearing. We'll see. Hopefully that hearing is soon, but I doubt it. Nothing seems to move very quickly in this process.
The attorney for the mother asked that she be excused from the case. After her last phone conversation with the mother on 10/19, the dad got on the phone and started yelling a cursing at her. So she hung up on him. 10 minutes later the attorney got a call from a local police officer (not even the municipality in which the parents live) letting her know that the parents had filed a police report that she had threatened the dad. The judge granted that request and excused her from the case. At this time the parents hadn't even showed up. The attorney for the dad requested a continuance since he wasn't there yet. The judge, after sending the bailiff out to the hallway to call for both parents, denied that and proceeded to listen to testimony. While the CYS caseworker was on the stand, the mother and father showed up. When she was done with her testimony the judge asked the dad's attorney if he was ready to proceed. He said that he was prepared to proceed on behalf of his client but not on behalf of the mother and that he thought she should be appointed new counsel before anything proceeded.
The judge then asked the mother to come forward, swore her in, and asked her some questions, such as if she knew the time of the hearing and why she was late. Her response was, "Because of the lights in (town they live in)". The judge replied, "Because of the lights?" "Yes, we left early but we hit every light, so that's why we were late." You could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't very happy at this point. He then asked her, "Do you know how long it takes to get from (X) to (Y)?" She hesitated for a minute and then said, "No." At that time the judge looked at the CYS attorney and asked him if he agreed that, while he would like to proceed, it would be doing her a disservice to proceed without assigning her counsel. The attorney reluctantly agreed. The judge then told the mother that she would be assigned counsel, did not have the right to choose her counsel, and that if she did anything to cause the second attorney to be dismissed from the case that it would proceed without counsel. He then told her to keep her attorney away from her boyfriend, and that he was not to have any contact or conversation with them
This is where it got even more interesting. The boyfriend at that time stood up, raised his hand and began to speak. The judge sternly and loudly told him to sit down and be quiet, that he wasn't talking to him, and that any communication to the court would have to come from his attorney. He then proceeded to tell him that if he hears of any attempt on his part to speak to the mother's attorney that he would feel "the full wrath of this court" and would find himself in contempt and in jail.
So no goal change or change in visitation, but I certainly think the judge is closer to ruling in favor of changing the goal to adoption at the next hearing. We'll see. Hopefully that hearing is soon, but I doubt it. Nothing seems to move very quickly in this process.
Follows Closely
Footballguy
With our three little ones we are now in the hearing for the bio parents TPR ruling, this is 11 months after TPR was granted. Weekly visitations have continued thought the entire process. almost 2 years. If (and this is a big if) you have been ensured the bio parents are not fit and TPR is coming, I would continually pressure your case worker and the kids worker for stoppage of visits. Thoroughly document everything related to visits to give backing to your argument.Best wishes and God bless that little one. What a blessing your family will be to him.
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Craziness man. That whole process is just nuts. Good friends of ours are doing the same thing that you guys are (foster to adopt). They've been in the system for about 16 months now. They have been getting tons of foster referrals for the past year but never seemed to get actual cases of kids to adopt. They JUST found out this week that the state had screwed up and not even put them on the adoption list. 
The incompetence of government is incredible.
The incompetence of government is incredible.Follows Closely
Footballguy
It is very rare to have visits stop before TPR is granted. That being said you may have another year of visits ahead of you. I encourage you show kindness to the bio parents. I understand how hard this can be, I do. I have no compassion or sympathy for the bio father of our three little foster kids. But every week we (by we I mean my wife) write a note describing the kids activities for the week. Occasionally we will send art work or photos of the kids. This will go a long way in the eyes of the court. Why am I preaching to a pastor?
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Nobody is asking for the elimination of visits, just a reduction. Currently they have 2 2-hour visits per week. Since we have had him in our home, the parents have made it to 4 out of a possible 10 visits. They are supposed to cancel the day before or, at a minimum, 45 minutes before the visit since it takes us about 35 minutes to drive to the visit location. 3 of the 6 times they didn't make the visit they didn't notify anyone until we had already made the drive.CYS is asking that there be one visit every other week, which is about how often they are currently making it to the visits.
chuckorc
Footballguy
I don't necessarily want to hijack, but my adoption was finalized yesterday afternoon. I am now the official proud parent of two lovely girls, ages 4 and 5. It was a relative adoption (my wife's nieces) so the process was not as strenuous as what I've read about. Anyway it's a big relief to finally have that part done. Now on with the tons of paperwork to file for official name changes, insurance, etc.
After it all said and done, definitely worth it and have no second thoughts. Just wanted to share with my ifamily
fun photo
After it all said and done, definitely worth it and have no second thoughts. Just wanted to share with my ifamily
fun photo
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
You're not hijacking at all! This thread is for everything adoption related. Congrats on the adoption!! So exciting! I think it would be kind of strange to adopt from family, but that's awesome that it went so quickly and smoothly for you. I'm sure you're ready to pour out tons of love on those girls.I don't necessarily want to hijack, but my adoption was finalized yesterday afternoon. I am now the official proud parent of two lovely girls, ages 4 and 5. It was a relative adoption (my wife's nieces) so the process was not as strenuous as what I've read about. Anyway it's a big relief to finally have that part done. Now on with the tons of paperwork to file for official name changes, insurance, etc.
After it all said and done, definitely worth it and have no second thoughts. Just wanted to share with my ifamily
fun photo
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Didn't see this before. That is nuts! I imagine that you're pretty excited, but talk about crazy! Maybe they should go ahead and snip the mom's tubes while they're delivering this time...
CrossEyed
Footballguy
I don't necessarily want to hijack, but my adoption was finalized yesterday afternoon. I am now the official proud parent of two lovely girls, ages 4 and 5. It was a relative adoption (my wife's nieces) so the process was not as strenuous as what I've read about. Anyway it's a big relief to finally have that part done. Now on with the tons of paperwork to file for official name changes, insurance, etc.
After it all said and done, definitely worth it and have no second thoughts. Just wanted to share with my ifamily
fun photo
Congrats!!Our hearing is today at 1:30. Praying that the judge changes the goal to adoption.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Yeah, crazy is right. This whole situation has been crazy...but in a good sort of way.
Mystery Achiever
Footballguy
So, you went from not thinking you could get an infant to now possibly having two. Wow. You may need a big van after all. 
Follows Closely
Footballguy
Door closed on that one, miscarriage that is. From the sounds of things, I can see this case being switched to adoption rather quickly. How is the little guy and you two adjusting?Well, still no decision. They ran out of time for all of the witness testimony. So we get to wait a couple more weeks (or more) for another hearing.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
We are adjusting pretty well, I think. It's been tougher on Mrs CE because she just changed jobs and work has been kind of stressful. They promised flexibility and have not delivered. Doubly disappointing since she was hired by a friend.But our little guy's personality is really starting to develop and we're all getting to know one another a lot better. He's a joy to have around and has truly been a blessing. He's struggled a little with staying healthy, but I don't think that's unusual in the first year of a premie. Mostly it's just been respiratory stuff. He's had a couple of ear infections and some wheezing. He gets breathing treatments with a nebulizer when that happens. But he takes it like a trooper. The Dr. is trying to get a special treatment approved by the insurance company. No success so far, but apparently he went to med school with a Dr. that is on their appeals board, so he thinks he can get that through.He's starting to play a lot more and grasp at things, which he wasn't doing early on. He's fascinated with the TV and my laptop. And he loves the mobile above his crib. He can be crying and fussy but as soon as we put him in his crib and turn on the mobile he forgets everything and becomes mesmerized by the frog, bird, and monkey spinning around above him. I highly recommend the Fisher-Price Rainforest collection. He loves all of that stuff. We also have the melodies & lights gym and are getting him the jumperoo for Christmas.Still no word on the next hearing. Hopefully soon.Thanks for asking.Door closed on that one, miscarriage that is. From the sounds of things, I can see this case being switched to adoption rather quickly. How is the little guy and you two adjusting?Well, still no decision. They ran out of time for all of the witness testimony. So we get to wait a couple more weeks (or more) for another hearing.Also found out at the hearing that mom had a miscarriage, so no new baby in 6 months.
Early_10
footballgoddess
This is how we went from 5 kids to 6. In April we took home the baby's little sister from the hospital at 36 hours old. Having a 7 month old and an 18 month old (along with our 4, 7, 10 and 15 yr olds) is a smile a minute. For Christmas, I'd like a nap.Visitation is M-W-F for mom, M-F for grandparents and Tues for dad. Dad had Tues-Thurs but he wasn't showing up so they cut it to 1 day a week. Even at that, I don't leave the house until he has already arrived (30 min drive). They make him wait on us instead of the girls waiting on him. Maybe that would work in your situation. It's a PITA being "on call" for visit day but much better than making the trip for nothing.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Actually, she has miscarried, so there is no new baby...at least not right now.And yes, they are required to show up 40 minutes before the visit. Unfortunately they are still required to give them a "grace period" of 20 minutes. So by the time we get a call that they are not there we're usually well on our way to the visit. It's about a 35 minute drive.The next hearing is on Friday, so hopefully we'll be backing down to one visit every other week. That's what the county CYS is asking.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Well, another hearing and no decision.
In a nutshell, the judge agreed that the mother is not capable of raising a child based on testimony and her history (5th child, previous 4 have all been adopted). But since dad doesn't have as long of a history with the court, the judge wanted to wait for a couple more reports to come in before he ruled. The father is scheduled for a second psych evaluation next Wednesday and was ordered to schedule a parental evaluation as well. He waived the typical 90 day period between trials and scheduled the next trial for the first week of February. It seems as though he's just making sure his I's are dotted and his T's are crossed. But it sure is teaching us a lesson in patience.
Not what we were hoping for, but it definitely continues to move in the right direction.
In a nutshell, the judge agreed that the mother is not capable of raising a child based on testimony and her history (5th child, previous 4 have all been adopted). But since dad doesn't have as long of a history with the court, the judge wanted to wait for a couple more reports to come in before he ruled. The father is scheduled for a second psych evaluation next Wednesday and was ordered to schedule a parental evaluation as well. He waived the typical 90 day period between trials and scheduled the next trial for the first week of February. It seems as though he's just making sure his I's are dotted and his T's are crossed. But it sure is teaching us a lesson in patience.
Not what we were hoping for, but it definitely continues to move in the right direction.
Mystery Achiever
Footballguy
Sorry it is taking so long. But it does seem as though they are just going through procedures and things will continue to go in right direction. Enjoy your first holiday season together. 
LarryAllen'sJockstrap
Footballguy
About a month ago, a (very) young couple chose us after going through a number of parent profiles our agency had shown them. We've been matched up and have met the birthparents a couple of times; once with our case workers and once just the four of us. The meetings couldn't have gone better and we really clicked with them. Obviously, there is still uncertainty until the placement occurs, but this seems like the ideal situation. Both birthparents seem committed to this adoption and seem to be very comfortable with us as the adoptive parents. Our future son could be born and day, and if she doesn't give birth by the first week of January, the doctors are planning to induce labor.
Wish us luck.
Wish us luck.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
You'll be in my prayers. I can tell you that it is an amazing experience. I don't think I could love a biological child any more than I love our little guy. He's such a blessing.
LarryAllen'sJockstrap
Footballguy
Our son, Noah James, was born Tues; 5 pounds, 10 ounces and completely healthy. Yesterday, both birthparents signed the paperwork relinquishing any custody and we got to take him home in time for New Year's Eve.
What a great way to celebrate the New Year.
What a great way to celebrate the New Year.
Mystery Achiever
Footballguy
A very happy new year to you and Noah!!!!!!!
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Harry Manback
Footballguy
CrossEyed
Footballguy
LarryAllen'sJockstrap
Footballguy
We really hit it off with them prior to the adoption; even went out to dinner once just the four of us a couple of weeks ago. No awkardness or anything at all. We'd probably all be good friends if my wife and I were about 10 years younger. They are wanting as much contact/visits as possible. We're all within the same metro area, so for the first few of years, we plan to meet with them at least a couple of times a year. My wife has also setup a blog for him that they can follow. They are young and still in high school, so it's tough to say where things will be in a couple of years, but right now, the plan is for a fairly open relationship.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
Next hearing is tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. We're hoping the goal gets changed to adoption and visits get reduced.
We always get a summary of the case before a hearing comes up, and the most recent summary disclosed that after they were assigned new caseworkers to try to help them (at the request of their attorneys) bio mom threatened to kill both of the caseworkers that came to her house at the end of December, while dad called 911 and kicked them out of the house. She was charged with making terroristic threats and he was charged with harassment.
Can't imagine a child growing up in that environment.
We always get a summary of the case before a hearing comes up, and the most recent summary disclosed that after they were assigned new caseworkers to try to help them (at the request of their attorneys) bio mom threatened to kill both of the caseworkers that came to her house at the end of December, while dad called 911 and kicked them out of the house. She was charged with making terroristic threats and he was charged with harassment.
Can't imagine a child growing up in that environment.
CrossEyed
Footballguy
I am thoroughly overwhelmed. Not only did the parents stipulate to the goal change, they voluntarily terminated their parental rights. TPR hearing completed this morning. Final visit on Thursday. Adoption should be finalized in March or April. Praise the Lord!!
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