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***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter Woz
- Start date
Keerock
Footballguy
Joe T
Footballguy
Apes with Guns
Footballguy
Joe T
Footballguy
No, second date revealed she may be a little too "goody" for me and her hips were a bit wider than I thought. Other issues too, but we don't have all day here to list them.
James Daulton
Footballguy
Apes with Guns
Footballguy
Apes with Guns
Footballguy
Joe T
Footballguy
Meeting up with a girl in about an hour for drinks. Her pics look cute and she looks pretty thin in them, but there are no pics of her legs. This is always a red flag for me. I'll report back on the results, but my guess is she is hiding something.
Also, I'm thinking about opening with this line from now on at the first meeting:
"Wow, you look really different than your photos."
I think its a good starter no matter what she looks like.
Also, I'm thinking about opening with this line from now on at the first meeting:
"Wow, you look really different than your photos."
I think its a good starter no matter what she looks like.
Osaurus
Footballguy
OC Zed
Footballguy
Zow
Footballguy
Joe T
Footballguy
saintfool
Dead sexy
i don't know if it is bad form but i've gone on a few dates with women that i was not impressed with. nice and whatever but i'm just not interested. they are all "i had a wonderful time! i hope we can get together soon" but i just shut it down in short order. i don't follow up with them and never contact them again. i figure it's a less awkward than saying "your pic is, well, different" or "you're much more composed via email and text than in person".
as it stands now, i have been seeing these two women mostly over the past couple of weeks. i'm really digging one of them (skinny brunette) but i am *this* close to sleeping with the other (skinny blonde). i know i should stop seeing the blonde before it gets to that point and yet....
as it stands now, i have been seeing these two women mostly over the past couple of weeks. i'm really digging one of them (skinny brunette) but i am *this* close to sleeping with the other (skinny blonde). i know i should stop seeing the blonde before it gets to that point and yet....
offdee
Footballguy
Hogwash. That's the beauty of dating....the more options you have, the more desirable you become, the more additional options increase. Circle of a fun single life, my friend.
Zow
Footballguy
1. That's how I always did it. Went out with several girls who were really nice and had many positives, I just wasn't into them. Always figured they had plenty of other guys messaging them. Only ever had one girl send me a very nasty e-mail, but she gave off the crazy vibe on the date too so I half expected it.
2. You're not committed to either one. No big deal sleeping with them both.
Zow
Footballguy
OC Zed
Footballguy
Apes with Guns
Footballguy
how about a shave? maybe some shots of you doing things you enjoy, but that won't scare the ladies away?Eminence said:
saintfool
Dead sexy
So I shut it down with the blonde before sleeping with her. I knew I wasn't as into her as the brunette. I felt it was bad form to stop things before they got too far. It would have made the dumping that much harder and awkward.I'm still a jerk because I did it via text. I wouldn't have had a chance to do it face to face. Or if I did it would have been after sex. It wasn't my preference but certainly the most opportune.
EYLive
Footballguy
Back in July I was seriously dating someone that I met on Match, so I didn't keep up my monthly email quota to qualify for the 6 month guarantee. But when things didn't work out with her, I found out my match account would expire at the end of August with no free 6 month extention. With just a few days left on my subscription, I launched a bunch of hail mary emails to any girl that fit my core criterias. I got exaclty one reply back, so we exchanged personal email addresses before my account expired. It's only been 2 months, but I'm hopeful things will work out long-term.
We met each other's co-workers at various social events, and will be hanging with her friends this weekend.
The End.
We met each other's co-workers at various social events, and will be hanging with her friends this weekend.
The End.
OC Zed
Footballguy
EYLive
Footballguy
No. She knew my subscription was ending, hence the hurry to exchange personal contact info. But I never told her just how wide I cast my net.
offdee
Footballguy
Aaaaand, the true woman has finally come out. Soon to be out of the mix.
Text exchange from last night...
Her: Curious to know how you think things are going here recently- generally? Recently it seems like you're etiher distracted by other outside factors or losing interest in continuing to see each otehr. So I thought I'd just ask in case it were the latter.
offdee: Think things are good and enjoy spending time with you, but I'm just not sure if I'm in a place for a really serious relationship right now, if I'm being completely honest. Get the feeling that is what you want? Doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore. I think I'm too independent for my own good sometimes.
Her: Well I am looking for a potential relationship not a f#!@ buddy or whatever you want to call that type of dynamic. Been there done that- bored with it. I like you, I enjoy spending time with you. I'm also independent but looking for a partner to enjoy things with. I'm not looking to rush into anything. I'm all up for moving slow and seeing how things play out but I'm looking to (no title needed) see someone exclusively. I don't multi-date and at this stage I think you should know if you'd like to see where things go here or keep all your options open. Here is what I'm looking for at this juncture: a weekday and weekend date, overnights typically corresponding (I enjoy cuddling- part of the deal), and general text communications a couple times a day- nothing major but just something little. Up to you. Think it over but let me know if you still want to go out Sat. Good night
This was received at 10:23 pm....I never responded. At 7:23am this morning receive....
Her: Morning. Sorry for the novel last night. It really isn't as serious as I think I make it seem via text- really just a quick 5 min convo that I really don't think would impact either of us anyhow would have been sufficient. So I'd like to propose to forget the text nonsense and let's still plan on a fun time tomorrow night with a 5 min convo before heading out so I can better explain myself & why I even brought this up to begin with. Sound good?
OC Zed
Footballguy
offdee said:Aaaaand, the true woman has finally come out. Soon to be out of the mix.
Text exchange from last night...
Her: Curious to know how you think things are going here recently- generally? Recently it seems like you're etiher distracted by other outside factors or losing interest in continuing to see each otehr. So I thought I'd just ask in case it were the latter.
offdee: Think things are good and enjoy spending time with you, but I'm just not sure if I'm in a place for a really serious relationship right now, if I'm being completely honest. Get the feeling that is what you want? Doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore. I think I'm too independent for my own good sometimes.
Her: Well I am looking for a potential relationship not a f#!@ buddy or whatever you want to call that type of dynamic. Been there done that- bored with it. I like you, I enjoy spending time with you. I'm also independent but looking for a partner to enjoy things with. I'm not looking to rush into anything. I'm all up for moving slow and seeing how things play out but I'm looking to (no title needed) see someone exclusively. I don't multi-date and at this stage I think you should know if you'd like to see where things go here or keep all your options open. Here is what I'm looking for at this juncture: a weekday and weekend date, overnights typically corresponding (I enjoy cuddling- part of the deal), and general text communications a couple times a day- nothing major but just something little. Up to you. Think it over but let me know if you still want to go out Sat. Good night
This was received at 10:23 pm....I never responded. At 7:23am this morning receive....
Her: Morning. Sorry for the novel last night. It really isn't as serious as I think I make it seem via text- really just a quick 5 min convo that I really don't think would impact either of us anyhow would have been sufficient. So I'd like to propose to forget the text nonsense and let's still plan on a fun time tomorrow night with a 5 min convo before heading out so I can better explain myself & why I even brought this up to begin with. Sound good?
I really don't how she did anything wrong here. She was pretty direct, but polite, in asking what you wanted and telling you what she wanted. It probably should not have been done over text message, but that's par for the course these days. If this chick is as great as you initially described her, I don't know why you would want to look for reasons to get rid of her.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
She sounds pretty reasonable to me.offdee said:Aaaaand, the true woman has finally come out. Soon to be out of the mix.
Text exchange from last night...
Her: Curious to know how you think things are going here recently- generally? Recently it seems like you're etiher distracted by other outside factors or losing interest in continuing to see each otehr. So I thought I'd just ask in case it were the latter.
offdee: Think things are good and enjoy spending time with you, but I'm just not sure if I'm in a place for a really serious relationship right now, if I'm being completely honest. Get the feeling that is what you want? Doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore. I think I'm too independent for my own good sometimes.
Her: Well I am looking for a potential relationship not a f#!@ buddy or whatever you want to call that type of dynamic. Been there done that- bored with it. I like you, I enjoy spending time with you. I'm also independent but looking for a partner to enjoy things with. I'm not looking to rush into anything. I'm all up for moving slow and seeing how things play out but I'm looking to (no title needed) see someone exclusively. I don't multi-date and at this stage I think you should know if you'd like to see where things go here or keep all your options open. Here is what I'm looking for at this juncture: a weekday and weekend date, overnights typically corresponding (I enjoy cuddling- part of the deal), and general text communications a couple times a day- nothing major but just something little. Up to you. Think it over but let me know if you still want to go out Sat. Good night
This was received at 10:23 pm....I never responded. At 7:23am this morning receive....
Her: Morning. Sorry for the novel last night. It really isn't as serious as I think I make it seem via text- really just a quick 5 min convo that I really don't think would impact either of us anyhow would have been sufficient. So I'd like to propose to forget the text nonsense and let's still plan on a fun time tomorrow night with a 5 min convo before heading out so I can better explain myself & why I even brought this up to begin with. Sound good?
What's wrong with wanting to know where you stand? Seems completely normal to me. I'd probably consider it a negative (long-term) if a thirty year old woman was dumb enough to be strung along for more than a month.
coyote5
Footballguy
offdee said:Aaaaand, the true woman has finally come out. Soon to be out of the mix.
Text exchange from last night...
Her: Curious to know how you think things are going here recently- generally? Recently it seems like you're etiher distracted by other outside factors or losing interest in continuing to see each otehr. So I thought I'd just ask in case it were the latter.
offdee: Think things are good and enjoy spending time with you, but I'm just not sure if I'm in a place for a really serious relationship right now, if I'm being completely honest. Get the feeling that is what you want? Doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore. I think I'm too independent for my own good sometimes.
Her: Well I am looking for a potential relationship not a f#!@ buddy or whatever you want to call that type of dynamic. Been there done that- bored with it. I like you, I enjoy spending time with you. I'm also independent but looking for a partner to enjoy things with. I'm not looking to rush into anything. I'm all up for moving slow and seeing how things play out but I'm looking to (no title needed) see someone exclusively. I don't multi-date and at this stage I think you should know if you'd like to see where things go here or keep all your options open.Here is what I'm looking for at this juncture: a weekday and weekend date, overnights typically corresponding (I enjoy cuddling- part of the deal), and general text communications a couple times a day- nothing major but just something little. Up to you. Think it over but let me know if you still want to go out Sat. Good night
she was doing ok until the second half when she just couldn't help herself....
maxwelledison
Footballguy
I'm confused. Her response is direct but not overbearing. It sounds like you were into her and that the feeling was mutual. Not judging here offdee and I'm not sure what you are looking for but have you considered the possibility that it doesn't exist?She sounds pretty reasonable to me.offdee said:Aaaaand, the true woman has finally come out. Soon to be out of the mix.
Text exchange from last night...
Her: Curious to know how you think things are going here recently- generally? Recently it seems like you're etiher distracted by other outside factors or losing interest in continuing to see each otehr. So I thought I'd just ask in case it were the latter.
offdee: Think things are good and enjoy spending time with you, but I'm just not sure if I'm in a place for a really serious relationship right now, if I'm being completely honest. Get the feeling that is what you want? Doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore. I think I'm too independent for my own good sometimes.
Her: Well I am looking for a potential relationship not a f#!@ buddy or whatever you want to call that type of dynamic. Been there done that- bored with it. I like you, I enjoy spending time with you. I'm also independent but looking for a partner to enjoy things with. I'm not looking to rush into anything. I'm all up for moving slow and seeing how things play out but I'm looking to (no title needed) see someone exclusively. I don't multi-date and at this stage I think you should know if you'd like to see where things go here or keep all your options open. Here is what I'm looking for at this juncture: a weekday and weekend date, overnights typically corresponding (I enjoy cuddling- part of the deal), and general text communications a couple times a day- nothing major but just something little. Up to you. Think it over but let me know if you still want to go out Sat. Good night
This was received at 10:23 pm....I never responded. At 7:23am this morning receive....
Her: Morning. Sorry for the novel last night. It really isn't as serious as I think I make it seem via text- really just a quick 5 min convo that I really don't think would impact either of us anyhow would have been sufficient. So I'd like to propose to forget the text nonsense and let's still plan on a fun time tomorrow night with a 5 min convo before heading out so I can better explain myself & why I even brought this up to begin with. Sound good?
What's wrong with wanting to know where you stand? Seems completely normal to me. I'd probably consider it a negative (long-term) if a thirty year old woman was dumb enough to be strung along for more than a month.
Scoresman
Footballguy
i'm guessing its the pick up artist mentality where any sign that a woman is looking for commitment means its time to run.
EYLive
Footballguy
John Bender
Footballguy
Gotta agree with Stu et. AL.
OFFDEE opens with how great she is and all she wants to do is define things a bit after seeing each other for a while. And you want to throw her back. If you're resigned to being a bachelor for life, I don't fault you but a woman trying to define things after seeing each other for some time wants to define things is very normal.
If you like her and she's that great, lock her up. You're 38 and she's 30, you won't Be getting the opportunity to bang offdee 8 - 30 year olds with good personalities much longer. I wouldn't let her get away if she's exactly as you described
OFFDEE opens with how great she is and all she wants to do is define things a bit after seeing each other for a while. And you want to throw her back. If you're resigned to being a bachelor for life, I don't fault you but a woman trying to define things after seeing each other for some time wants to define things is very normal.
If you like her and she's that great, lock her up. You're 38 and she's 30, you won't Be getting the opportunity to bang offdee 8 - 30 year olds with good personalities much longer. I wouldn't let her get away if she's exactly as you described
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OC Zed
Footballguy
Yup.Gotta agree with Stu et. AL.
OFFDEE opens with how great she is and all she wants to do is define things a bit after seeing each other for a while. And you want to throw her back. If you're resigned to being a bachelor for life, I don't fault you but a woman trying to define things after seeing each other for some time wants to define things is very normal.
If you like her and she's that great, lock her up. You're 38 and she's 30, you won't Be getting the opportunity to bang offdee 8 - 30 year olds with good personalities much longer. I wouldn't let her get away if she's exactly as you described
offdee
Footballguy
So, along with all you guys and sharing the texts with some buddies, they all had similar reactions....probably a conversation better in person, could've done without the "checklist", but all in all nothing too over the top wrong here. She just likes me and wants to feel better about where she stands.Aaaaand, the true woman has finally come out. Soon to be out of the mix.
Text exchange from last night...
Her: Curious to know how you think things are going here recently- generally? Recently it seems like you're etiher distracted by other outside factors or losing interest in continuing to see each otehr. So I thought I'd just ask in case it were the latter.
offdee: Think things are good and enjoy spending time with you, but I'm just not sure if I'm in a place for a really serious relationship right now, if I'm being completely honest. Get the feeling that is what you want? Doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore. I think I'm too independent for my own good sometimes.
Her: Well I am looking for a potential relationship not a f#!@ buddy or whatever you want to call that type of dynamic. Been there done that- bored with it. I like you, I enjoy spending time with you. I'm also independent but looking for a partner to enjoy things with. I'm not looking to rush into anything. I'm all up for moving slow and seeing how things play out but I'm looking to (no title needed) see someone exclusively. I don't multi-date and at this stage I think you should know if you'd like to see where things go here or keep all your options open. Here is what I'm looking for at this juncture: a weekday and weekend date, overnights typically corresponding (I enjoy cuddling- part of the deal), and general text communications a couple times a day- nothing major but just something little. Up to you. Think it over but let me know if you still want to go out Sat. Good night
This was received at 10:23 pm....I never responded. At 7:23am this morning receive....
Her: Morning. Sorry for the novel last night. It really isn't as serious as I think I make it seem via text- really just a quick 5 min convo that I really don't think would impact either of us anyhow would have been sufficient. So I'd like to propose to forget the text nonsense and let's still plan on a fun time tomorrow night with a 5 min convo before heading out so I can better explain myself & why I even brought this up to begin with. Sound good?
I really don't how she did anything wrong here. She was pretty direct, but polite, in asking what you wanted and telling you what she wanted. It probably should not have been done over text message, but that's par for the course these days. If this chick is as great as you initially described her, I don't know why you would want to look for reasons to get rid of her.
I decided to get together with her with an open mind Saturday night. At the end of the day she has a bit of "pretty girl syndrome" in that she's just used to guys pretty much catering to her and she's the one calling the shots most of the time (and consequently gets easily bored by those guys...hmm, what a surprise)....since that wasn't happening here she was starting to feel uneasy and not exactly sure how to best handle. I pretty much said this "pretty girl syndrome" comment to her point blank, and she agreed with the assessment. She doesn't have over the top expectations, she just wanted to hear that I wasn't dating anybody else (especially because we're having secks) to put her more in a comfort zone in her own mind I guess.
So, we'll see where this goes from here.
Paulymaggs
Footballguy
She reeks of desperation. Offdee already made it pretty clear how he felt - or she wouldn't have sent that initial text about him losing interest.
Sounds like it's pretty clear she's been (ab)used as a sexual-buddy before.
I think she can be strung along another three months or so considering the level of self-esteem.
Sounds like it's pretty clear she's been (ab)used as a sexual-buddy before.
I think she can be strung along another three months or so considering the level of self-esteem.
McGarnicle
Footballguy
I'm starting to remember how I ended up getting married after I swore I never would.
You bang around for a while and it's fun as hell, then you meet a girl you really like and suddenly your mind isn't right. You're okay spending whole weekends with her. You stop calling other girls. You start telling yourself all the things that suck about casual dating -- the crazy ones, getting stood up, all the money you blow on dates, the wild swings between high exhilaration and crushing disappointment. Wouldn't it be great to settle down with this one great woman, you tell yourself. It would be a shame to let her get away.
:shudder:
You bang around for a while and it's fun as hell, then you meet a girl you really like and suddenly your mind isn't right. You're okay spending whole weekends with her. You stop calling other girls. You start telling yourself all the things that suck about casual dating -- the crazy ones, getting stood up, all the money you blow on dates, the wild swings between high exhilaration and crushing disappointment. Wouldn't it be great to settle down with this one great woman, you tell yourself. It would be a shame to let her get away.
:shudder:
offdee
Footballguy
So, does the :shudder: mean you now wish you could go back to the single days?
I'm having a ball being single which is where my hesitation with all this lies...not sure if I'm ready to give that up right now.
McGarnicle
Footballguy
Everything is a tradeoff. I tell myself I'd rather be single but I conveniently forget a lot of the miseries that went along with it. There are a lot of great things about being married too.This isn't hard though -- if she's the one you want to get really serious with, you'll know it. You'll miss her when you're not with her and you'll want to spend more and more time together. You said you're not ready to give up the single life, so there's your answer. You'll never forgive yourself if you settle down before you're ready. You'll seethe every time you talk to a girl you know you could nail.
There are a lot of great women out there. You'll find another one just as good as her when it's time.
Das Boot
Footballguy
I mostly agree but disagree with the bolded: the right one is the right one, whenever she comes along.
But we're still a long way from that point with offdee and the lithe assertive gymnast.
McGarnicle
Footballguy
There are a million right ones.I mostly agree but disagree with the bolded: the right one is the right one, whenever she comes along.
But we're still a long way from that point with offdee and the lithe assertive gymnast.
Das Boot
Footballguy
:noarrangedmarriage.com:There are a million right ones.I mostly agree but disagree with the bolded: the right one is the right one, whenever she comes along.
But we're still a long way from that point with offdee and the lithe assertive gymnast.
McGarnicle
Footballguy
To expound on my point -- I just think too many people hold on to the notion that there is "the one" somewhere out there, and when they meet some amazing person they think to themselves, oh no, what if this is the one, I can't let them get away.Das Boot said::noarrangedmarriage.com:McGarnicle said:There are a million right ones.Das Boot said:I mostly agree but disagree with the bolded: the right one is the right one, whenever she comes along.McGarnicle said:
But we're still a long way from that point with offdee and the lithe assertive gymnast.
I believe in chemistry. Each person is unique, but certain personality types mesh well with certain others and those types are finite. Add in the factors of physical attractiveness and common beliefs/experiences, and you arrive at a template for what the ideal mate would look like. In a big city there are probably hundreds that would fit the bill. So, cast a wide net, date a good variety of people, and eventually you'll come across one of your compatible types. And if you work to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex, your potential dating pool increases along with your likelihood to meet a compatible type.
Offdee presents himself as someone who knows how to talk to women and has numerous female prospects. Taking that at face value and being someone who was there a decade ago, my advice is to enjoy the hell out of that ride as long as possible, and only settle down when it grows tiresome. And again, that amazing woman will make herself known when the time is right, and he won't have any doubts. I was engaged to a woman once and was racked with doubts. I thought I *should* settle down because of an arbitrary age and because the woman was smart, came from a good family and could cook. I wasn't in love with her, cheated with about a dozen women, and ended up hurting her really badly and throwing her family into turmoil. You can't force your heart into something on logical grounds. You'll never be happy.
