***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (2 Viewers)

[Village Idiot]

On that first date, always mention you have another one planned in two hours and she has 45 minutes to convince you to cancel with the other girl. Then set the stopwatch on your phone to 45:00:00, place it in front of her, and hit Start. Then mention you heard somewhere that the other girl might be is a nymphomaniac.

FYP.

 

[saintfool]

quick update here...

Meetup woman L (the already divorced one) and I hung out again Sunday. It was nice and relaxed. I told her I was dating others and she said that was fine. She's been in open relationships before that have lasted months apparently. She likes her life, wants company but isn't rushing. She did tell me that we did have a "friend in common" and that brings me to Meetup Woman K (just starting her divorce).

K is interested but her situation is a total mess. I'm going to put her on the back burner for a few months until things settle down for her. I'll tell her she needs a little time to process what's happening to her before she thinks about dating. I have time with her I think. In the meantime, this gives me some time to see what happens with these other women.

Sounds like you're approaching wisely. I've actually found that just being honest about not looking for anything serious peaks there interest more than proclaiming you're looking for one devoted true love. At some point they'll always ask me if I'm looking for a serious committed relationship, and always answer with something along the lines of "of course if the right girl comes along, with great chemistry, etc. but I don't plan on settling for anything less than perfect". That always perks them up a bit and immediately they start to try and prove all of the ways they are so great.

As said earlier, the less desperate you act, the better the results. Mindset at all times is that you are the prize. Good luck GB!

Update for those interested:

So things with the Match woman are just fine. She and I are doing just fine. I know she's really into me and would like things to move to the next level but we're in a good space here for the time being.

Meetup woman "L" found herself a bit jealous and annoyed after all that I was seeing someone else. I called her out on it, pointing out that she was seeing someone casually too. She mentioned while there is this other guy but things are not happening in the bedroom with him. Upon further discussion, she'd much rather hang out with me even if it isn't much more than a FWB kind of thing given our schedules and logistical challenges of city-vs-suburb living. She is a direct and very dirty girl.

Meetup woman "K" is officially on the backburner. She knows she is a mess and needs a few months to get her bearings.

 

[offdee]

quick update here...

Meetup woman L (the already divorced one) and I hung out again Sunday. It was nice and relaxed. I told her I was dating others and she said that was fine. She's been in open relationships before that have lasted months apparently. She likes her life, wants company but isn't rushing. She did tell me that we did have a "friend in common" and that brings me to Meetup Woman K (just starting her divorce).

K is interested but her situation is a total mess. I'm going to put her on the back burner for a few months until things settle down for her. I'll tell her she needs a little time to process what's happening to her before she thinks about dating. I have time with her I think. In the meantime, this gives me some time to see what happens with these other women.

Sounds like you're approaching wisely. I've actually found that just being honest about not looking for anything serious peaks there interest more than proclaiming you're looking for one devoted true love. At some point they'll always ask me if I'm looking for a serious committed relationship, and always answer with something along the lines of "of course if the right girl comes along, with great chemistry, etc. but I don't plan on settling for anything less than perfect". That always perks them up a bit and immediately they start to try and prove all of the ways they are so great.

As said earlier, the less desperate you act, the better the results. Mindset at all times is that you are the prize. Good luck GB!

Update for those interested:So things with the Match woman are just fine. She and I are doing just fine. I know she's really into me and would like things to move to the next level but we're in a good space here for the time being.

Meetup woman "L" found herself a bit jealous and annoyed after all that I was seeing someone else. I called her out on it, pointing out that she was seeing someone casually too. She mentioned while there is this other guy but things are not happening in the bedroom with him. Upon further discussion, she'd much rather hang out with me even if it isn't much more than a FWB kind of thing given our schedules and logistical challenges of city-vs-suburb living. She is a direct and very dirty girl.

Meetup woman "K" is officially on the backburner. She knows she is a mess and needs a few months to get her bearings.

I'm getting the vibe you're not all that much into Match girl? "Fine" is good for casually dating which sounds like where you're at, but best to understand that her mindset sounds to be different so you probably only have a few weeks left, maybe a month and a half at most, before she starts pushing further with "where are we at, and what are we doing?" talks. Just be prepared for it.

Sounds like you're handling it right with Meetup girl. Her being "annoyed" that you're seeing others is code for "I'm intrigued...you're now officially sexier and more interesting to me now that I know others want you. You must be a good catch"

Keep on keeping on GB.

 

[Major]

Any good tips how to handle the "where is this going" convo while still keeping her a fbuddy? always looking for good material. And just for the record, if a girl ever tells you they love you, don't respond with "Thanks".

 

[Zow]

Update: Offdee work chick is ridiculously hot. Dude should be re-named Chris Kluwe.

 

[McGarnicle]

Any good tips how to handle the "where is this going" convo while still keeping her a fbuddy? always looking for good material. And just for the record, if a girl ever tells you they love you, don't respond with "Thanks".

Yes, the correct response is "Awwwwww! That's so sweet!", and a rub behind the ear.

 

[saintfool]

quick update here...

Meetup woman L (the already divorced one) and I hung out again Sunday. It was nice and relaxed. I told her I was dating others and she said that was fine. She's been in open relationships before that have lasted months apparently. She likes her life, wants company but isn't rushing. She did tell me that we did have a "friend in common" and that brings me to Meetup Woman K (just starting her divorce).

K is interested but her situation is a total mess. I'm going to put her on the back burner for a few months until things settle down for her. I'll tell her she needs a little time to process what's happening to her before she thinks about dating. I have time with her I think. In the meantime, this gives me some time to see what happens with these other women.

Sounds like you're approaching wisely. I've actually found that just being honest about not looking for anything serious peaks there interest more than proclaiming you're looking for one devoted true love. At some point they'll always ask me if I'm looking for a serious committed relationship, and always answer with something along the lines of "of course if the right girl comes along, with great chemistry, etc. but I don't plan on settling for anything less than perfect". That always perks them up a bit and immediately they start to try and prove all of the ways they are so great.

As said earlier, the less desperate you act, the better the results. Mindset at all times is that you are the prize. Good luck GB!

Update for those interested:So things with the Match woman are just fine. She and I are doing just fine. I know she's really into me and would like things to move to the next level but we're in a good space here for the time being.

Meetup woman "L" found herself a bit jealous and annoyed after all that I was seeing someone else. I called her out on it, pointing out that she was seeing someone casually too. She mentioned while there is this other guy but things are not happening in the bedroom with him. Upon further discussion, she'd much rather hang out with me even if it isn't much more than a FWB kind of thing given our schedules and logistical challenges of city-vs-suburb living. She is a direct and very dirty girl.

Meetup woman "K" is officially on the backburner. She knows she is a mess and needs a few months to get her bearings.

I'm getting the vibe you're not all that much into Match girl? "Fine" is good for casually dating which sounds like where you're at, but best to understand that her mindset sounds to be different so you probably only have a few weeks left, maybe a month and a half at most, before she starts pushing further with "where are we at, and what are we doing?" talks. Just be prepared for it.

Sounds like you're handling it right with Meetup girl. Her being "annoyed" that you're seeing others is code for "I'm intrigued...you're now officially sexier and more interesting to me now that I know others want you. You must be a good catch"

Keep on keeping on GB.

Oh I really dig the Match woman. She's probably my #1 and I definitely see the most potential with her. Everything is just easy and works. There are a few issues here and there - bit of an empty vessel, a ton of debt, etc - but she is a good fit. I know I don't have much more time with her not asking for more. I'm really trying to sneak this Meetup woman under the wire. I'll get a little play and romp with her before I put the kibosh on it. It's easier for me to do that than end things with Match woman.

 

[Zow]

Any good tips how to handle the "where is this going" convo while still keeping her a fbuddy? always looking for good material. And just for the record, if a girl ever tells you they love you, don't respond with "Thanks".

I always concentrated and deflected the issues on me while trying to not make myself look bad - that is, I'd blame work (too stressful and working too many hours to think about entering a full blown relationship… but our "fun time" together has really been amazing for helping me handle the stress), blame an ex ("for full disclosure my ex continues to talk to me… I'm not seeing or anything like that, but it's not fair to you to have to deal with that at the start of a relationship), or talk about how great your life presently is ("I'm in an awesome spot right now that I don't really want to rock the boat… and you and our time 'hanging out' is really a big part of that. I totally enjoy our time together and I don't want to push for a change right now.").

Key is to use reasons which are not negative towards you (in fact, it make you look even better because it's implying that you rock at work, your life is great, you are fully disclosing a crazy ex-gf and apparently handling it well) and offer that slight glimmer of hope for her through an indirect compliment. I even went so far a couple of times as to point out how neither of us should turn down how ridiculously great our "connection" is in bed and that, as two independent, single people, we'd be stupid to just stop that.

If the chick is legitimately into you, any of this will work like a charm.

 

[[icon]]

Update: Offdee work chick is ridiculously hot. Dude should be re-named Chris Kluwe.

I'll take a PM, Offdee if you've got a moment

 

[[icon]]

Oh I really dig the Match woman. She's probably my #1 and I definitely see the most potential with her. Everything is just easy and works. There are a few issues here and there - bit of an empty vessel, a ton of debt, etc - but she is a good fit. I know I don't have much more time with her not asking for more. I'm really trying to sneak this Meetup woman under the wire. I'll get a little play and romp with her before I put the kibosh on it. It's easier for me to do that than end things with Match woman.

RUN AWAY!!

 

[Joe T]

What are some of the keys at hinting to the girl its time to grab her clothes and get the hell out?

 

[Zow]

Any good tips how to handle the "where is this going" convo while still keeping her a fbuddy? always looking for good material. And just for the record, if a girl ever tells you they love you, don't respond with "Thanks".

I always concentrated and deflected the issues on me while trying to not make myself look bad - that is, I'd blame work (too stressful and working too many hours to think about entering a full blown relationship… but our "fun time" together has really been amazing for helping me handle the stress), blame an ex ("for full disclosure my ex continues to talk to me… I'm not seeing or anything like that, but it's not fair to you to have to deal with that at the start of a relationship), or talk about how great your life presently is ("I'm in an awesome spot right now that I don't really want to rock the boat… and you and our time 'hanging out' is really a big part of that. I totally enjoy our time together and I don't want to push for a change right now.").

Key is to use reasons which are not negative towards you (in fact, it make you look even better because it's implying that you rock at work, your life is great, you are fully disclosing a crazy ex-gf and apparently handling it well) and offer that slight glimmer of hope for her through an indirect compliment. I even went so far a couple of times as to point out how neither of us should turn down how ridiculously great our "connection" is in bed and that, as two independent, single people, we'd be stupid to just stop that.

If the chick is legitimately into you, any of this will work like a charm.

Any good tips how to handle the "where is this going" convo while still keeping her a fbuddy? always looking for good material. And just for the record, if a girl ever tells you they love you, don't respond with "Thanks".

I always concentrated and deflected the issues on me while trying to not make myself look bad - that is, I'd blame work (too stressful and working too many hours to think about entering a full blown relationship… but our "fun time" together has really been amazing for helping me handle the stress), blame an ex ("for full disclosure my ex continues to talk to me… I'm not seeing or anything like that, but it's not fair to you to have to deal with that at the start of a relationship), or talk about how great your life presently is ("I'm in an awesome spot right now that I don't really want to rock the boat… and you and our time 'hanging out' is really a big part of that. I totally enjoy our time together and I don't want to push for a change right now.").

Key is to use reasons which are not negative towards you (in fact, it make you look even better because it's implying that you rock at work, your life is great, you are fully disclosing a crazy ex-gf and apparently handling it well) and offer that slight glimmer of hope for her through an indirect compliment. I even went so far a couple of times as to point out how neither of us should turn down how ridiculously great our "connection" is in bed and that, as two independent, single people, we'd be stupid to just stop that.

If the chick is legitimately into you, any of this will work like a charm.

I'd also add the following two things:

1 - At all costs the goal is, without specifically saying to, to make the girl think if she tries harder in bed she may be rewarded with a relationship. I once had a FWB wanting more make the pretty darn rational argument to me that if I enjoy the and now, I'd get it constantly. She even half-joked that she'd drop to her knees anytime I walked in the door. I parlayed that into calling her out that she was too "proper" for that and I half-joked that I didn't believe her and dared her to do that every time I came over to "hang out." She proved me wrong ( ) and it cut down my entrance to exit time by 15-30 minutes. Was awesome.

2. You will feel like a jerk afterwards. Even the girl above, who was a desperate dirty girl, probably didn't deserve that.

 

[offdee]

What are some of the keys at hinting to the girl its time to grab her clothes and get the hell out?

Always use work as an excuse. So busy, lots of important presentations/meetings to get ready for, etc. Increases your perceived power/value/provider in her eyes and can never be questioned since with technology can work from home just as easily in the office.

Shark move is to actually casually mention how busy you are at work and that's what you'll be doing all day tomorrow BEFORE any sexy time happens. Than when the excuse is needed it's easily said and easily accepted. Always be thinking two steps ahead.

 

[[icon]]

Update: Offdee work chick is ridiculously hot. Dude should be re-named Chris Kluwe.

I'll take a PM, Offdee if you've got a moment

:confirmed: smokeshow.

Solid 8.5-9 IMO. Yowzah she looks fun.

 

[saintfool]

Oh I really dig the Match woman. She's probably my #1 and I definitely see the most potential with her. Everything is just easy and works. There are a few issues here and there - bit of an empty vessel, a ton of debt, etc - but she is a good fit. I know I don't have much more time with her not asking for more. I'm really trying to sneak this Meetup woman under the wire. I'll get a little play and romp with her before I put the kibosh on it. It's easier for me to do that than end things with Match woman.

RUN AWAY!!

Yeah, she and I are both aware of this as a hurdle. She hasn't told me the exact sum but she has indicated that she's taking measures to get a handle on this. Her family is helping her get it away from the credit card companies. It's far from ideal but it's better than the alternative. I'm prepared to cut bait if the sum is catastrophic and that stinks because she is pretty great otherwise.

 

[saintfool]

What are some of the keys at hinting to the girl its time to grab her clothes and get the hell out?

I've got another woman coming over in about 20 minutes. You can stay or go but it's strictly your call....

 

[Keerock]

What are some of the keys at hinting to the girl its time to grab her clothes and get the hell out?

I've got another woman coming over in about 20 minutes. You can stay or go but it's strictly your call....

 

[saintfool]

What are some of the keys at hinting to the girl its time to grab her clothes and get the hell out?

I've got another woman coming over in about 20 minutes. You can stay or go but it's strictly your call....

"Problem" arises if she calls your bluff...

#raidernationproblems

 

[Major]

What are some of the keys at hinting to the girl its time to grab her clothes and get the hell out?

Always use work as an excuse. So busy, lots of important presentations/meetings to get ready for, etc. Increases your perceived power/value/provider in her eyes and can never be questioned since with technology can work from home just as easily in the office.

Shark move is to actually casually mention how busy you are at work and that's what you'll be doing all day tomorrow BEFORE any sexy time happens. Than when the excuse is needed it's easily said and easily accepted. Always be thinking two steps ahead.

You could also say you forgot to put your jeans in the freezer and that you must attend to this $200 piece of denim w/o interruption :style:

 

[saintfool]

Meetup Girl tells me this afternoon that she doesn't want to date me because I am seeing/sleeping with this other woman. I tell her that's fine and we can still be friends, hang out, enjoy play dates with our kids. If my situation changes and we are both single then we could explore things. We're in agreement and everything is kosher.

Five minutes later, she asks what I'm doing this weekend. I tell her have my son with me Saturday night but we could hang out some Sunday maybe. She asks about coming over Saturday night and sleeping over. I remind her of the previous conversation. She says we are both adults and it would be just "cuddling". She then tells me that she'd pack light since she prefers to sleep in the nude.

She's 37, 5'4, about 115 lbs, Filipina, B-Cup and admits it has been months since she had sex.

Really?

 

[Joe T]

Meetup Girl tells me this afternoon that she doesn't want to date me because I am seeing/sleeping with this other woman. I tell her that's fine and we can still be friends, hang out, enjoy play dates with our kids. If my situation changes and we are both single then we could explore things. We're in agreement and everything is kosher.

Five minutes later, she asks what I'm doing this weekend. I tell her have my son with me Saturday night but we could hang out some Sunday maybe. She asks about coming over Saturday night and sleeping over. I remind her of the previous conversation. She says we are both adults and it would be just "cuddling". She then tells me that she'd pack light since she prefers to sleep in the nude.

She's 37, 5'4, about 115 lbs, Filipina, B-Cup and admits it has been months since she had sex.

Really?

Too close for missiles, I'm switching to guns.

 

[Major]

Meetup Girl tells me this afternoon that she doesn't want to date me because I am seeing/sleeping with this other woman. I tell her that's fine and we can still be friends, hang out, enjoy play dates with our kids. If my situation changes and we are both single then we could explore things. We're in agreement and everything is kosher.

Five minutes later, she asks what I'm doing this weekend. I tell her have my son with me Saturday night but we could hang out some Sunday maybe. She asks about coming over Saturday night and sleeping over. I remind her of the previous conversation. She says we are both adults and it would be just "cuddling". She then tells me that she'd pack light since she prefers to sleep in the nude.

She's 37, 5'4, about 115 lbs, Filipina, B-Cup and admits it has been months since she had sex.

Really?

I highly recommend securetabs dot com

 

[Zow]

Meetup Girl tells me this afternoon that she doesn't want to date me because I am seeing/sleeping with this other woman. I tell her that's fine and we can still be friends, hang out, enjoy play dates with our kids. If my situation changes and we are both single then we could explore things. We're in agreement and everything is kosher.

Five minutes later, she asks what I'm doing this weekend. I tell her have my son with me Saturday night but we could hang out some Sunday maybe. She asks about coming over Saturday night and sleeping over. I remind her of the previous conversation. She says we are both adults and it would be just "cuddling". She then tells me that she'd pack light since she prefers to sleep in the nude.

She's 37, 5'4, about 115 lbs, Filipina, B-Cup and admits it has been months since she had sex.

Really?

Atta boy

 

[BigTex]

Update: Offdee work chick is ridiculously hot. Dude should be re-named Chris Kluwe.

I'll take a PM, Offdee if you've got a moment

:confirmed: smokeshow.

Solid 8.5-9 IMO. Yowzah she looks fun.

Based off history.............PM please.

Well, I've done it plunged in the idating arena. Seems that the older ladies want to meet right away. Maybe it's because they feel their time clock battery is running low or what yet the younger chicks want to chat more before meeting. Anyhow, I've been chat with one that would probably rank around 7-8 range on the offdee chick scale. We finally exchanged numbers last night after emailing for 3 weeks so we'll see how this goes. I've used some of the tips in this thread (being new to idating......NOT women) and some have work while others have not.

Giddy Up,

Tex

 

[Bogart]

Update: Offdee work chick is ridiculously hot. Dude should be re-named Chris Kluwe.

I'll take a PM, Offdee if you've got a moment

:confirmed: smokeshow.

Solid 8.5-9 IMO. Yowzah she looks fun.

Based off history.............PM please.

Well, I've done it plunged in the idating arena. Seems that the older ladies want to meet right away. Maybe it's because they feel their time clock battery is running low or what yet the younger chicks want to chat more before meeting. Anyhow, I've been chat with one that would probably rank around 7-8 range on the offdee chick scale. We finally exchanged numbers last night after emailing for 3 weeks so we'll see how this goes. I've used some of the tips in this thread (being new to idating......NOT women) and some have work while others have not.

Giddy Up,

Tex

GLGB

 

[bweiser]

Meetup Girl tells me this afternoon that she doesn't want to date me because I am seeing/sleeping with this other woman. I tell her that's fine and we can still be friends, hang out, enjoy play dates with our kids. If my situation changes and we are both single then we could explore things. We're in agreement and everything is kosher.

Five minutes later, she asks what I'm doing this weekend. I tell her have my son with me Saturday night but we could hang out some Sunday maybe. She asks about coming over Saturday night and sleeping over. I remind her of the previous conversation. She says we are both adults and it would be just "cuddling". She then tells me that she'd pack light since she prefers to sleep in the nude.

She's 37, 5'4, about 115 lbs, Filipina, B-Cup and admits it has been months since she had sex.

Really?

This made me LOL

 

[Johnny Rock]

:sigh: I will be back soon to online dating. The gal I connected with so well in July ended it today, via a text message nonetheless. The reasoning was that our lives are just too different - I have a 3 yr old daughter. She has no kids. I fell for her pretty hard, but given that she's been distant, and just mean, makes this a little easier for me. My birthday was yesterday, she left mid day in a rage. Texted me this morning that it's over. 2 days before Christmas, via a text message. We were together for almost 6 months... So although this stings a bit today, I'll be fine and jump back into the scene in January. I actually am one of the few lesbians that enjoy dating, although I'm not going to be a make out whore this time. The good news for the FFA is that there might be new lesbian dating stories coming soon.

Sorry to hear. Breaking up sux. Glad to hear about your great attitude though.

 

[EYLive]

:sigh: I will be back soon to online dating. The gal I connected with so well in July ended it today, via a text message nonetheless. The reasoning was that our lives are just too different - I have a 3 yr old daughter. She has no kids. I fell for her pretty hard, but given that she's been distant, and just mean, makes this a little easier for me. My birthday was yesterday, she left mid day in a rage. Texted me this morning that it's over. 2 days before Christmas, via a text message. We were together for almost 6 months... So although this stings a bit today, I'll be fine and jump back into the scene in January. I actually am one of the few lesbians that enjoy dating, although I'm not going to be a make out whore this time. The good news for the FFA is that there might be new lesbian dating stories coming soon.

But what about NYE parties? I mean, you gotta get a little action around midnight, right?

 

[Paulymaggs]

:sigh: I will be back soon to online dating. The gal I connected with so well in July ended it today, via a text message nonetheless. The reasoning was that our lives are just too different - I have a 3 yr old daughter. She has no kids. I fell for her pretty hard, but given that she's been distant, and just mean, makes this a little easier for me. My birthday was yesterday, she left mid day in a rage. Texted me this morning that it's over. 2 days before Christmas, via a text message. We were together for almost 6 months... So although this stings a bit today, I'll be fine and jump back into the scene in January. I actually am one of the few lesbians that enjoy dating, although I'm not going to be a make out whore this time. The good news for the FFA is that there might be new lesbian dating stories coming soon.

Good for you for staying positive.

I've learned that chicks that break up this time of year generally means she already has somebody lined up.

 

[simmonjm]

What are some of the keys at hinting to the girl its time to grab her clothes and get the hell out?

My go to move is putting on gym clothes and grabbing my ipod saying I have to run/workout they usually get the hint and they never typically have workout clothes with them.

 

[simmonjm]

:sigh: I will be back soon to online dating. The gal I connected with so well in July ended it today, via a text message nonetheless. The reasoning was that our lives are just too different - I have a 3 yr old daughter. She has no kids. I fell for her pretty hard, but given that she's been distant, and just mean, makes this a little easier for me. My birthday was yesterday, she left mid day in a rage. Texted me this morning that it's over. 2 days before Christmas, via a text message. We were together for almost 6 months... So although this stings a bit today, I'll be fine and jump back into the scene in January. I actually am one of the few lesbians that enjoy dating, although I'm not going to be a make out whore this time. The good news for the FFA is that there might be new lesbian dating stories coming soon.

Good for you for staying positive.

I've learned that chicks that break up this time of year generally means she already has somebody lined up.

I don't think she does ... I truly believe it's just not what she wants. She texted me yesterday that she would like to meet up after Xmas to talk (I said a few times that I deserve more than a dump text). I didn't respond. What's there to say? Having a young child full time is non negotiable. And, I just received a new text that she hopes I'm having a good time with my fam, that she understands if I hate her, and that she loves and cares about me. She's so concerned with how I'm doing (massive people pleaser), my play is not to respond right now. I am trying to focus on my daughter on Xmas and Xmas eve. I personally miss her, crave her but have really no desire to respond. In fact, I renewed my match.com subscription this morning.... I was surprised on how good it felt - reminded me that i am a good catch and I've been here, done this before.

Good for you for holding out and not contacting her. I always break down and contact them and find myself in the same situation 2-3 months later. Much better to just completely cut off all contact.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

:sigh: I will be back soon to online dating. The gal I connected with so well in July ended it today, via a text message nonetheless. The reasoning was that our lives are just too different - I have a 3 yr old daughter. She has no kids. I fell for her pretty hard, but given that she's been distant, and just mean, makes this a little easier for me. My birthday was yesterday, she left mid day in a rage. Texted me this morning that it's over. 2 days before Christmas, via a text message. We were together for almost 6 months... So although this stings a bit today, I'll be fine and jump back into the scene in January. I actually am one of the few lesbians that enjoy dating, although I'm not going to be a make out whore this time. The good news for the FFA is that there might be new lesbian dating stories coming soon.

Good for you for staying positive.

I've learned that chicks that break up this time of year generally means she already has somebody lined up.

I don't think she does ... I truly believe it's just not what she wants. She texted me yesterday that she would like to meet up after Xmas to talk (I said a few times that I deserve more than a dump text). I didn't respond. What's there to say? Having a young child full time is non negotiable. And, I just received a new text that she hopes I'm having a good time with my fam, that she understands if I hate her, and that she loves and cares about me. She's so concerned with how I'm doing (massive people pleaser), my play is not to respond right now. I am trying to focus on my daughter on Xmas and Xmas eve. I personally miss her, crave her but have really no desire to respond. In fact, I renewed my match.com subscription this morning.... I was surprised on how good it felt - reminded me that i am a good catch and I've been here, done this before.

Good for you for holding out and not contacting her. I always break down and contact them and find myself in the same situation 2-3 months later. Much better to just completely cut off all contact.

It's hard but after hanging on to my first ex for a year and a half after our first break up was painful. I think it's easier in the long run to just cut it now, especially since she's not happy about something I cannot change.

You're a stronger person than I am, lady. I have a REALLY hard time not worrying everything down to the last damned atom during a break up. I'm not even sure why it matters to me. Most of the time, the break up is a relief, but I seem to need to know that "everything is now ok and we don't hate each other - deal?".

Anyway, sorry this last one didn't work out. The ##### comes and goes - you have the kid and she doesn't.

 

[Bankerguy]

I will be making a comeback to this thread shortly...

 

[Disco Stu]

I will be making a comeback to this thread shortly...

It's a Christmas miracle!

 

[Bankerguy]

I will be making a comeback to this thread shortly...

It's a Christmas miracle!

Or blindside...whatever.

 

[Terpman22]

While I currently have a g/f, this tinder thing is f'in addicting. Just looking....

 

[offdee]

Update: Offdee work chick is ridiculously hot. Dude should be re-named Chris Kluwe.

I'll take a PM, Offdee if you've got a moment

:confirmed: smokeshow. Solid 8.5-9 IMO. Yowzah she looks fun.

So work girl and I have turned into a bit of a thing. I'm diggin' this chick right now.

 

[tikigods]

Apparently my single friends are doing well through the "Tinder" App

Just thought I'd throw it out there to you guys.

This is a win.

 

[Major]

I know many girls, cute ones, that ride Tinder hard. Seems like they enjoy it and a lot less work for us lads. Need to try it out at some point.

 

[tikigods]

For those using Tinder, just a friendly reminder:

 

[Steve Tasker]

While I currently have a g/f, this tinder thing is f'in addicting. Just looking....

Wasn't there hypothetically a pro athlete that may have been hitting on your girl online? Let me know if she's single.

 

[BobbyLayne]

Apparently my single friends are doing well through the "Tinder" App

Just thought I'd throw it out there to you guys.

This is a win.

confirmed

 

[BobbyLayne]

Dipping my toe back in the dating world. Starting seeing a publicist who I met during 6-7 years ago but lost track of; she sent me a DM on twitter and we had drinks. Just hanging out, no pressure, no commitment. I hooked her up with Knicks & she offered me passes to the Winter Classic (e.g., stuff we both got comped) - had to decline as I wasn't headed back to the D next week. Asianed, drinks bourbon, likes to target shoot, fun to hang with - if the timing were different, I might have fallen hard, but she's super busy with her own business, feels like a side thing (even though she does text/call a LOT).

Meanwhile I still want to play the field, so I'm checking out howaboutwe.com. Have a few teed up but I'm still at that "holy #### I've totally forgotten how to be a closer" stage after not dating for like 7+ years. Anyway, not much to report here, but this exchange with a princess cracked me up:

her: How about we… meet at XXXX and climb the walls.

me: I'm intrigued.

Hi. Are you a climber??

No, but I've been meaning to try it.

Well, then we should go. I haven't been climbing for a while and am hoping to get back into it in the new year.

Cool. Full disclosure, XXXX is my health club. Want to meetup before we go climbing?

Meeting on 'neutral ground' sounds fair. Do you have a place in mind? I was recently at the Jane Hotel bar and it was lovely. Super cozy. [ETA: and super pretentious, $400 bottle service, racist & rude bouncers, full of scenesters/hipsters - what's not to like?] But, perhaps a place in midtown would be a better choice?
The Todd English Food Court at The Plaza is sort of unique. Have you been there? [ETA: I have been to TE Food Hall. It's probably the worst service I've ever seen in NYC, but maybe that was just an off day/bad wait staff. But the prices are...well, not ridiculous by NYC standards, but not exactly casual first date stuff. I don't mind paying $30-40 for a salad or far more for well executed sushi, but that's the kind of overpriced place you book for a life event like a birthday or....awwww #### it just forget it.]

I think the move here is no response? Or is that too passive. I just don't see the point in responding and coming off judgemental, but I give her props for being audacious. If you're gonna be a gold digger, lay that #### out right up front. No sense being deceitful about what you are.

I'm a little to bitter to be dating, right?

 

[Joe T]

I'm a little to bitter to be dating, right?

Never.

 

[Terpman22]

While I currently have a g/f, this tinder thing is f'in addicting. Just looking....

Wasn't there hypothetically a pro athlete that may have been hitting on your girl online? Let me know if she's single.

Yeah it was TO but no, not single though haha. I did prank call him however.

 

[Disco Stu]

Dipping my toe back in the dating world. Starting seeing a publicist who I met during 6-7 years ago but lost track of; she sent me a DM on twitter and we had drinks. Just hanging out, no pressure, no commitment. I hooked her up with Knicks & she offered me passes to the Winter Classic (e.g., stuff we both got comped) - had to decline as I wasn't headed back to the D next week. Asianed, drinks bourbon, likes to target shoot, fun to hang with - if the timing were different, I might have fallen hard, but she's super busy with her own business, feels like a side thing (even though she does text/call a LOT).

Meanwhile I still want to play the field, so I'm checking out howaboutwe.com. Have a few teed up but I'm still at that "holy #### I've totally forgotten how to be a closer" stage after not dating for like 7+ years. Anyway, not much to report here, but this exchange with a princess cracked me up:

her: How about we… meet at XXXX and climb the walls.

me: I'm intrigued.

Hi. Are you a climber??

No, but I've been meaning to try it.

Well, then we should go. I haven't been climbing for a while and am hoping to get back into it in the new year.

Cool. Full disclosure, XXXX is my health club. Want to meetup before we go climbing?

Meeting on 'neutral ground' sounds fair. Do you have a place in mind? I was recently at the Jane Hotel bar and it was lovely. Super cozy. [ETA: and super pretentious, $400 bottle service, racist & rude bouncers, full of scenesters/hipsters - what's not to like?] But, perhaps a place in midtown would be a better choice?

The Todd English Food Court at The Plaza is sort of unique. Have you been there? [ETA: I have been to TE Food Hall. It's probably the worst service I've ever seen in NYC, but maybe that was just an off day/bad wait staff. But the prices are...well, not ridiculous by NYC standards, but not exactly casual first date stuff. I don't mind paying $30-40 for a salad or far more for well executed sushi, but that's the kind of overpriced place you book for a life event like a birthday or....awwww #### it just forget it.]

I think the move here is no response? Or is that too passive. I just don't see the point in responding and coming off judgemental, but I give her props for being audacious. If you're gonna be a gold digger, lay that #### out right up front. No sense being deceitful about what you are.

I'm a little to bitter to be dating, right?

I'm not quite following but don't see the harm in just suggesting somewhere you like. Basically ignoring everything she said there.

"Let's meet (insert casual bar here) at 7 on Thursday". Don't make it more difficult than it needs to be.

 

[[icon]]

Update: Offdee work chick is ridiculously hot. Dude should be re-named Chris Kluwe.

I'll take a PM, Offdee if you've got a moment

:confirmed: smokeshow. Solid 8.5-9 IMO. Yowzah she looks fun.

So work girl and I have turned into a bit of a thing. I'm diggin' this chick right now.

nicely done sir.

 

[jon_mx]

Dipping my toe back in the dating world. Starting seeing a publicist who I met during 6-7 years ago but lost track of; she sent me a DM on twitter and we had drinks. Just hanging out, no pressure, no commitment. I hooked her up with Knicks & she offered me passes to the Winter Classic (e.g., stuff we both got comped) - had to decline as I wasn't headed back to the D next week. Asianed, drinks bourbon, likes to target shoot, fun to hang with - if the timing were different, I might have fallen hard, but she's super busy with her own business, feels like a side thing (even though she does text/call a LOT).

Meanwhile I still want to play the field, so I'm checking out howaboutwe.com. Have a few teed up but I'm still at that "holy #### I've totally forgotten how to be a closer" stage after not dating for like 7+ years. Anyway, not much to report here, but this exchange with a princess cracked me up:

her: How about we… meet at XXXX and climb the walls.

me: I'm intrigued.

Hi. Are you a climber??

No, but I've been meaning to try it.

Well, then we should go. I haven't been climbing for a while and am hoping to get back into it in the new year.

Cool. Full disclosure, XXXX is my health club. Want to meetup before we go climbing?

Meeting on 'neutral ground' sounds fair. Do you have a place in mind? I was recently at the Jane Hotel bar and it was lovely. Super cozy. [ETA: and super pretentious, $400 bottle service, racist & rude bouncers, full of scenesters/hipsters - what's not to like?] But, perhaps a place in midtown would be a better choice?

The Todd English Food Court at The Plaza is sort of unique. Have you been there? [ETA: I have been to TE Food Hall. It's probably the worst service I've ever seen in NYC, but maybe that was just an off day/bad wait staff. But the prices are...well, not ridiculous by NYC standards, but not exactly casual first date stuff. I don't mind paying $30-40 for a salad or far more for well executed sushi, but that's the kind of overpriced place you book for a life event like a birthday or....awwww #### it just forget it.]

I think the move here is no response? Or is that too passive. I just don't see the point in responding and coming off judgemental, but I give her props for being audacious. If you're gonna be a gold digger, lay that #### out right up front. No sense being deceitful about what you are.

I'm a little to bitter to be dating, right?

Your Response: Well there is a Subway right around the corner.

 

[[icon]]

I'm not quite following but don't see the harm in just suggesting somewhere you like. Basically ignoring everything she said there.

"Let's meet (insert casual bar here) at 7 on Thursday". Don't make it more difficult than it needs to be.

Take the reins here. If she waffles about a moderately nice bar for drinks you've lost nothing. With women like this you simply need to be the man. They will usually fall in line. Not saying to take her to some ####hole... but don't let her set the precedent of you blowing tons of money early on anyway.

If you feel compelled to justify matters, just let her know you have had some bad experiences so you prefer to just grab drinks early on so you can both get a feel for each other. In my dating days, mention of "bad experiences" seems to get women to try to impress and not be labeled as such. Just be prepared to detail these experiences as they WILL ask. Use this opportunity to embellish if you'd like.

 

[saintfool]

Just an update...

So the petite Filipina thing did *not* happen after all. She backed out after the weather turned crappy with snow, et al and that was fine. I tried to re-connect with her but she was a little cool. Turns out she met this other guy a week before and didn't want to be seeing us both. I tell her that is fine, we're friends and nothing has changed between us. A week later she calls me and says that the new guy isn't working out for her after all. I don't ask about getting together with her or presume anything. She and I exchange a few texts over Xmas that are friendly while I'm out of town. She calls me this Friday night and asks me out. I have already made plans for the weekend but we could hang out another time.

I think the moment has kind of passed between me and this woman. I'm thinking that she's kind of a whackjob. I could probably get something going with her, if I put any effort into it, but I'm not sure it's worth it. I guess if things go south with the woman I have been steadily seeing then I've got something in my backpocket. Things are good between us even if I have a few concerns long term.