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***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (1 Viewer)

There's a hot chick who walks her dog past my place pretty much every day. I've always wanted to approach her but I'm not sure how to break the ice when she's carrying a baggie of ####. 

Any suggestions would be appreciated 

 
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There's a hot chick who walks her dog past my place pretty much every day. I've always wanted to approach her but I'm not sure how to break the ice when she's carrying a baggie of ####. 

Any suggestions would be appreciated 
Can I carry your bag of ####?

 
There's a hot chick who walks her dog past my place pretty much every day. I've always wanted to approach her but I'm not sure how to break the ice when she's carrying a baggie of ####. 

Any suggestions would be appreciated 
I would say 'Would you like me to take care of that'? While looking directly at her cooch.  That way you can either throw her #### away, or knock the bottom out, depending on how she takes it.  

 
Chicks dig dudes that have a garden.  Tell her you want to use the dog poop for compost for your garden and tell her she can drop it by anytime. 

Now you just have to build a garden... 

 
There's a hot chick who walks her dog past my place pretty much every day. I've always wanted to approach her but I'm not sure how to break the ice when she's carrying a baggie of ####. 

Any suggestions would be appreciated 
"So, they can't say that about your dog anymore"  

"Say what?"

"That he is full of ####"

 
You have to bait the dog so it'll run away from the hot chick in to your house. You know how those movies end up when the girl knocks on her neighbor's door and says "I can't believe my dog got in to your backyard again!"

 
There's a hot chick who walks her dog past my place pretty much every day. I've always wanted to approach her but I'm not sure how to break the ice when she's carrying a baggie of ####. 

Any suggestions would be appreciated 
That looks like a pretty heavy bag there.  Your dog really let one loose today!  :thumbup:

 
There's a hot chick who walks her dog past my place pretty much every day. I've always wanted to approach her but I'm not sure how to break the ice when she's carrying a baggie of ####. 

Any suggestions would be appreciated 
Hey, if you are looking to pick up something other than ####, my name is TLEF316 from the internets.

I would be much more self deprecating but something like that.

 
So this isn't technically an I Dating post but I wasn't starting a new thread for it.

I am a divorced, decent looking professional guy, never very good at approaching women. Do decent online. 

This weekend I went out to bars in 4 different areas in MA, twice solo, twice with friends. I made a real effort to actually walk up to women and say hello - not much in the way of pickup, just having conversation - and it is crazy hard - I don't know if other areas are easy, but you'd think people could at least be pleasant. A definite discouragement. Anyways, perhaps I need a professional wingman. 

Back to the dating sites....

 
So this isn't technically an I Dating post but I wasn't starting a new thread for it.

I am a divorced, decent looking professional guy, never very good at approaching women. Do decent online. 

This weekend I went out to bars in 4 different areas in MA, twice solo, twice with friends. I made a real effort to actually walk up to women and say hello - not much in the way of pickup, just having conversation - and it is crazy hard - I don't know if other areas are easy, but you'd think people could at least be pleasant. A definite discouragement. Anyways, perhaps I need a professional wingman. 

Back to the dating sites....
"What's Happening Hot Stuff?" didn't work!

 
There's a hot chick who walks her dog past my place pretty much every day. I've always wanted to approach her but I'm not sure how to break the ice when she's carrying a baggie of ####. 

Any suggestions would be appreciated 
This is so easy!

point to the dog and say

"what a cute ..."

as youre about to say "dog" shift your hand to her and say "girl"

leave the hand open for a handshake

"I'm TLef"

 
ISO perspective for FBG daters on a female friend's situation... I'll keep it short as possible: 

SHE: 40, Two young kids. Primary custody. Works. Divorced. New to online dating. 
HE: 44, Two young kids. Split custody. Works/travels. Divorced. 
Met via eHarmony (if that matters). 

Have been dating 4 months... hang out most saturday nights, generally average 1 date a week with occasional 2 or 0 date weeks. Dates generally run 5-6 hours and reportedly chemistry is good when present (good convo, have fun). Most dates are effort dates (ie nice dinners, driving range, concert) vs low effort dates (netflix and chill) though things have trended slowly toward netflix and chill. 

Issue is guy generally doesn't talk about emotional/relationship stuff (Shocker). Also communication outside dates is very sparse. Have never talked on phone. Texts average a few to half-dozen a week... sometimes a couple a day, sometimes none for half a week or a week at a time.  Any texting that does occur is pretty arms length inconsequential chatter. Recentl she left for a month vacation and the last night out there was no "hate to see you go / will miss you" type mention. 

PROS: He's making weekly plans, dates are running long and dude seems to be putting forth effort on dates. 
CONS: He's distant/cold communicator outside of dates. Hasn't texted her since hanging out a week ago. 

She really likes the guy but is convinced things are toast and he's slowly pulling away. 

I have my thoughts but want FBG Opinions. Need clarification on anything? TIA :thumbup:
 

 
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Threw this up later as an individual pole to get more info quickly but yah... I kinda agree. Sorry for the double-poast. :)  

Only thought was that it SEEMS he has kids most of time and always makes available/prime dating nights available to her... so that could be a good sign.... she doesn't seem to think he's seeing anyone else. Though that's pretty easy to obscure. 

 
Threw this up later as an individual pole to get more info quickly but yah... I kinda agree. Sorry for the double-poast. :)  

Only thought was that it SEEMS he has kids most of time and always makes available/prime dating nights available to her... so that could be a good sign.... she doesn't seem to think he's seeing anyone else. Though that's pretty easy to obscure. 




 


As someone that has dated with kids, I'm sympathetic. I'm not convinced be the details that this is anything more than a busy guy who doesn't have much time for good dating. He might not want a relationship but there's nothing entirely wrong with just dating (which is different than a steady hook up). If that's not what she wants then she might need to move on.

 
As someone that has dated with kids, I'm sympathetic. I'm not convinced be the details that this is anything more than a busy guy who doesn't have much time for good dating. He might not want a relationship but there's nothing entirely wrong with just dating (which is different than a steady hook up). If that's not what she wants then she might need to move on.
:goodposting:

 
ISO perspective for FBG daters on a female friend's situation... I'll keep it short as possible: 

SHE: 40, Two young kids. Primary custody. Works. Divorced. New to online dating. 
HE: 44, Two young kids. Split custody. Works/travels. Divorced. 
Met via eHarmony (if that matters). 

Have been dating 4 months... hang out most saturday nights, generally average 1 date a week with occasional 2 or 0 date weeks. Dates generally run 5-6 hours and reportedly chemistry is good when present (good convo, have fun). Most dates are effort dates (ie nice dinners, driving range, concert) vs low effort dates (netflix and chill) though things have trended slowly toward netflix and chill. 

Issue is guy generally doesn't talk about emotional/relationship stuff (Shocker). Also communication outside dates is very sparse. Have never talked on phone. Texts average a few to half-dozen a week... sometimes a couple a day, sometimes none for half a week or a week at a time.  Any texting that does occur is pretty arms length inconsequential chatter. Recentl she left for a month vacation and the last night out there was no "hate to see you go / will miss you" type mention. 

PROS: He's making weekly plans, dates are running long and dude seems to be putting forth effort on dates. 
CONS: He's distant/cold communicator outside of dates. Hasn't texted her since hanging out a week ago. 

She really likes the guy but is convinced things are toast and he's slowly pulling away. 

I have my thoughts but want FBG Opinions. Need clarification on anything? TIA :thumbup:
 
He's just not that into her, but enjoys the ego boost/company when it's convenient for him.   He's dating other women, working and being a dad.  

She's like a game between the 49ers vs. Browns....not really thinking about it, talking about it or excited for it throughout the week, but if have the night open to watch and nothing better to do, than why not?
 
There's a hot chick who walks her dog past my place pretty much every day. I've always wanted to approach her but I'm not sure how to break the ice when she's carrying a baggie of ####. 

Any suggestions would be appreciated 
They're all carrying a baggie of ####. Some are carrying a Hefty bag.

 
So this isn't technically an I Dating post but I wasn't starting a new thread for it.

I am a divorced, decent looking professional guy, never very good at approaching women. Do decent online. 

This weekend I went out to bars in 4 different areas in MA, twice solo, twice with friends. I made a real effort to actually walk up to women and say hello - not much in the way of pickup, just having conversation - and it is crazy hard - I don't know if other areas are easy, but you'd think people could at least be pleasant. A definite discouragement. Anyways, perhaps I need a professional wingman. 

Back to the dating sites....
Where in MA?

Have you ever read any books on how to meet women?  You can only learn so much via a book, but it will give you different things to try.  If you haven't, give one a read.  Just do yourself a favor and don't use exact examples (you will get laughed out of the bar if you say 'did you see that fight outside?'

If I am to guess, you walked across the room, zeroed in on a girl or girls and tried to introduce yourself.  This is not the way to do it.  Here's a basic strategy to try.  Assume a decently busy place.  Find your way to the bar, establish a space at the bar (for instance, on a barstool).  Inevitably a gal will be next to you trying to get a drink.  Without waiting very long (ie within seconds) strike up a very casual conversation.  Don't turn your body to her, just look sideways and say something in the moment.  As a for instance, if the bar is busy and she is nudging against you to get to the bar - "no need to be pushy" in a playful manner.  Or do a double-take, and when she looks over "wow you look just like my buddy's ex-wife.  You're name's not Maggie, is it?"....no it's Jenn. "well good because she was a psycho.  Hi Jenn, I'm LongDuck and this is my friend ____" and so on.

You don't need a professional wingman, that is a common myth.  You just need better game.

 
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Ready to give up.  OKC is terrible and POF is like the "people of Walmart" of online dating.  I seriously find about 5% of the women on these two sites to be attractive.  The only emails and alerts I get are from "bigfatpig" and "nicepersonality."  I tried Match last fall for 3 months and it was awful too.  Better looking women but couldn't get even a nibble.  I'm not Brad Pitt but I'm not Quasimodo either.  At least, I don't think so...

Finally matched up with someone interesting on Tinder a week ago.  37 years old, very cute, and looked really good (would have guessed 32-34), 2 kids, and sent me a "super like."  We chatted for two days (Thursday-Friday), really good conversation, similar viewpoints, some flirting, etc. exchanged numbers and made plans to go out Saturday night.  Her son had a baseball tournament but she wouldn't have the kids that night and we decided to play it by ear.  Texted all Saturday morning making plans, I told her to keep me apprised of the tournament so I'd have an idea of what time we'd be getting together, she said "I will :)  " and... never heard from her again.  Straight to voicemail and disappeared from my match list.

Even tried the old-fashioned way.  There's a woman who works in the same building as I do, 38, very cute, 1 kid.  We talk occasionally when we see each other in the hall or parking lot and a couple of weeks ago I asked her if she was single.  She said yes and I said we should get some lunch sometime.  She said "Let me pray about it."  Really?  It's just lunch for crying out loud.

Seriously, I've been going through this for 30 years.  Can't believe I haven't slit my wrists yet.

:wall:

 
Good looking wimmin will opt for good looking guys obviously. If your charm, wit and humor are sub-par, you're going to have a very hard time. 

 
Ready to give up.  OKC is terrible and POF is like the "people of Walmart" of online dating.  I seriously find about 5% of the women on these two sites to be attractive.  The only emails and alerts I get are from "bigfatpig" and "nicepersonality."  I tried Match last fall for 3 months and it was awful too.  Better looking women but couldn't get even a nibble.  I'm not Brad Pitt but I'm not Quasimodo either.  At least, I don't think so...

Finally matched up with someone interesting on Tinder a week ago.  37 years old, very cute, and looked really good (would have guessed 32-34), 2 kids, and sent me a "super like."  We chatted for two days (Thursday-Friday), really good conversation, similar viewpoints, some flirting, etc. exchanged numbers and made plans to go out Saturday night.  Her son had a baseball tournament but she wouldn't have the kids that night and we decided to play it by ear.  Texted all Saturday morning making plans, I told her to keep me apprised of the tournament so I'd have an idea of what time we'd be getting together, she said "I will :)  " and... never heard from her again.  Straight to voicemail and disappeared from my match list.

Even tried the old-fashioned way.  There's a woman who works in the same building as I do, 38, very cute, 1 kid.  We talk occasionally when we see each other in the hall or parking lot and a couple of weeks ago I asked her if she was single.  She said yes and I said we should get some lunch sometime.  She said "Let me pray about it."  Really?  It's just lunch for crying out loud.

Seriously, I've been going through this for 30 years.  Can't believe I haven't slit my wrists yet.

:wall:
Maybe give pokemon a try?  Its all the rage.  :shrug:

 
Good looking wimmin will opt for good looking guys obviously. If your charm, wit and humor are sub-par, you're going to have a very hard time. 
I guess it's an all-around problem.

Luckily I don't have that problem with South American women.  It's night and day.  If only I could get a job there.

 
The women are hotter on Bumble.  In fact, they are a lot hotter than Tinder.

And given that they have to make the first contact, they tend to be a bit more invested in the conversation.

Just trust me, it is a lot better than Tinder or other dating sites.

 
1.  Get on Bumble right ####### now

2.  Thank me later
I haven't been active on the iDating front but perused Tinder today and the quality has definitely dropped off.  Another problem is that a good percentage of the cute girls seem to be fake accounts/bots.  Would definitely recommend moving on to Bumble even though I have yet to try it. 

 
The women are hotter on Bumble.  In fact, they are a lot hotter than Tinder.

And given that they have to make the first contact, they tend to be a bit more invested in the conversation.

Just trust me, it is a lot better than Tinder or other dating sites.
I agree with this 100%  My problem is too many matches.  I was used to Tinder where you swipe for a bit before you match then about 20% of them answer.  On bumble they all answer immediately.  I don't have enough days in the week to get to them all. 

 
I agree with this 100%  My problem is too many matches.  I was used to Tinder where you swipe for a bit before you match then about 20% of them answer.  On bumble they all answer immediately.  I don't have enough days in the week to get to them all. 
:rolleyes:

 
Bumble isn't better than any of the others if you're ugly. Just a fair warning. OKC at least you can send them a message first and try to win them over with sense of humor or charm in your profile. On Bumble, women have to initiate conversation so if you're photo isn't perfect, you're not going to get much interaction.
Exactly.  I don't get a lot of matches on there either.  So I guess I'm just uglier than I thought.

Pretty sure the Bumble admins rate the pics/profiles and set it up so that all the best ones are at the front.  If you work through enough of them, you'll see that the quality suddenly drops off and then they're all ugly.

 
Time to get this started again.  Relevant statistics - I am 40 years old with a good paying job, living in So Cal.  I would say I am slightly above average looking with a well above average personality (I have always out kicked my coverage).  I have been divorced for 3 months (broken up for more than 6).  I have signed up for Tinder and Bumble with zero effort on the profile/pics.

So far I have 3-4 I am "dating":

Girl 1 - 35 year old, 6' Latina with the bluest eyes I have ever seen (she might even be taller than me - definitely with heals).  I randomly met this girl at a bar where she was on a date with another dude.  I really was not trying to get her number but she insisted on getting mine.  We have gone out three times and I probably like her the most of the bunch.  Problem is she live 30-40 minutes away and I only see her on a limited basis.  I would give her a 7 on the offdee scale.  Some would rate here higher some lower.  Already sealed the deal which was really good. 

Girl 2 - 39 year old blond hair blue eye school teacher.   Very good looking and very in shape.  This is a new one that I meet on Tinder and have only seen once.  Went for a drink yesterday.  Great chemistry all they way around - I will definitely see her again this week.  This one has a 19 year old son that is college.  I am pretty sure I am okay with this. Over all I would give her a 7.5.  A bit too "soft" to go any higher.  10 years ago she probably was a solid 8. 

Girl 3 - 38 year old Brazilian fitness model (I swear this is true) - I have known this gal for about 6 months and had no idea she was interested.  We were at a dinner last night and asked a ton of questions about the X.  I finally asked why she was so interested and she just gave me that look.  I instantly let her know that we would be having drinks on Thursday near here place.  I will let you know how this goes. Body is an offdee 10, face is a 7, attitude and being Brazilian is a 10.  Once again, I think this gal was a 8 or even better 10 years ago but I am going to go with the 7.5 (I feel like many here would rate much higher).  The only problem with this one is we have some friends in common and this one may be crazy.  I will report back.   

Girl 4 - Random girl in SF (I work in SF 2-3 days per week) will not leave me alone.  Random girl grabbed me at a bar the other night and proceeded to take me home.  Have seen her several times but she keeps bugging me to take her to fancy dinner, etc.  I keep playing defense and meet her for drinks at the end of the night.  Good practice to get back on the horse is the only redeeming quality - I am not going to lie - this one is a 5.5 at best :bag:

Bumble:  I have three on the hook on bumble (multiple conversation, exchanged numbers, etc) and two more on Tinder I just don't have time to go out with them.  Can anyone help me with managing this aspect of online dating.  3 of the 4 listed above definitely need to be vetted.  I have limited days to vette. am extremely busy at work so I apologize if comments are slow. 

 
BTW, I really miss Your S. America stories.
I was out of the loop for a while, dating a 19-year old law student in Bogota for 16 months.  Trying to get back on the horse, but it's tough sledding out there.  As you might imagine, anything this 45-year old can get stateside just doesn't measure up.

 
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No further iDating here yet, but I have a smoking hot new neighbor, who another neighbor said was a single mom. Stay tuned, gents.

Oh, and got a match on Bumble. We've been chatting up for a week or so, but she's about 1.5 hours away (must have been in the very edge of the the "range"). Pretty cute, and younger than me, so just letting that one shake out as it may. 

 
Nice work sbonomo! In regards to the juggling multiples, my personal recommendation is 3 or less active at any time. Any more than that and it just simply becomes too much work and energy.  

Tier those off with top 2 and #3. #3 gets the random weeknight meet up for drinks when convenient for you.  The top 2 get the Friday and Saturday slots.  

If/when a new or more exciting option joins the fray than you cut out #3 and slot her accordingly with the remaining two.  If one of your previous top twos now drop down to #3 than that will just fade away naturally.  

Eventually you'll meet one that just has that something special that you think about them when you're with others and would just rather be with her. That's when you know you've got a keeper.

The above scenarios was my experience. Presently in a 2.5 yr relationship with my perfect combination of looks,  body, coolness, smarts and amazing chemistry/sex. Nobody else I dated held a candle and I realized it pretty quickly .

 
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Nice work sbonomo! In regards to the juggling multiples, my personal recommendation is 3 or less active at any time. Any more than that and it just simply becomes too much work and energy.  

Tier those off with top 2 and #3. #3 gets the random weeknight meet up for drinks when convenient for you.  The top 2 get the Friday and Saturday slots.  

If/when a new or more exciting option joins the fray than you cut out #3 and slot her accordingly with the remaining two.  If one of your previous top twos now drop down to #3 than that will just fade away naturally.  

Eventually you'll meet one that just has that something special that you think about them when you're with others and would just rather be with her. That's when you know you've got a keeper.

The above scenarios was my experience. Presently in a 2.5 yr relationship with my perfect combination of looks,  body, coolness, smarts and amazing chemistry/sex. Nobody else I dated held a candle and I realized it pretty quickly .
This is exactly what I needed, thanks.  One nice thing about my travel schedule is that I get the random hook ups in SF.  Unfortunately the talent there is terrible. 

 
I agree with this 100%  My problem is too many matches.  I was used to Tinder where you swipe for a bit before you match then about 20% of them answer.  On bumble they all answer immediately.  I don't have enough days in the week to get to them all. 
:lmao:

The struggle is real my bruh.  

 
I don't mean to sound  like a ##### but, I have four gals that I have not met IRL, wanting to chit chat.  Who has that much time?????  Problem is they are all good looking. 
This is the real life equivalent of the "Five Women-One Sandwich vs. One Woman-Five Sandwiches" debate.

 
I don't mean to sound  like a ##### but, I have four gals that I have not met IRL, wanting to chit chat.  Who has that much time?????  Problem is they are all good looking. 
I've been there and echo offdee's advice.  I find the tipping point is 3-4 girls IRL rotation.  Anymore than that and it becomes a pain in the a. 

Be a good FBG, post pics and let us vote on who you should take out.  

 

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