***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (4 Viewers)

[krista4]

www.sriaurobindosociety.org.in

did you go to the site?? lolI can't figure out WTF they're talking about... seems very Eastern-ish as far as a religion goes, but I can't for the life of me figure out what it is or what they believe...and "The Mother" is some old Indian (as in India) chick who, I would guess, is probably married to the guy who founded whatever sect of whatever that is....oh yeah, sorry that you get the crazies, too, Krista...

No, I hadn't gone until I saw your post. I'm really open to people's differing view on religion and spirituality, but this one does seem a bit .

 

[Keys Myaths]

1. "Wants to have kids": the truth is that I do not. But I put "maybe". Have you guys ever seen someone who answered "no"? What would be your reaction to that? If I were doing this more seriously, I think I'd be tempted to be completely honest and say "no", just to weed out the people looking for baby mammas. (I don't mind, and in some ways prefer, guys who already have kids, but just don't want any of my own.)

Maybe or "no" gets an auto-close from me. It's one of the most important things on my list (yes, even with my objections to marriage), so I'll let others chime in.

2. Closing out people to whom you're not physically attracted: I don't close someone out immediately even if I pull up their profile and know that there's not a snowball's chance in hell...I do this (or rather, don't) because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. My general rule of thumb is that I will advance two steps beyond the point where I find that someone is physically unappealing to me. In other words, if their picture is in their initial profile, I'll still do the short answers and the must haves/can't stands but then will close it, or if it shows up at a later point, I'll advance two steps from there. When I do close, I always just choose "I'm taking a break from dating" or "I have too much going on in my life at the moment". I've the feeling I'm overthinking this. I just hate the idea that people would know they're being closed based on their appearance. And I figure the first two stages take virtually no time anyway, so I'm not wasting much of their time or mine. Am I ?

Yeah. I don't mind when people close me. It happens. I think I can deal with the fact that not every girl in the world will be physically attracted to the Keys. If the guy can't deal with that, and is reading too much into close reasons, he shouldn't be iDating. Same goes for women.

3. Not really an issue but just an observation...I seem to be matched overwhelming with Asian men, and in particular Indian and Korean guys. I don't care about race one way or another, but I wonder what this says about how I answered the questions in the personality test. I also get a lot of Europeans. Proportionately few white guys born in the US, and probably a proportion of black guys that approximates their population percentage.

I have other races closed off. I'm just not attracted to them...probably the reason you're getting matched with them is that there are a lot of people like me, so they're sending the different races to you.

 

[krista4]

1. "Wants to have kids": the truth is that I do not. But I put "maybe". Have you guys ever seen someone who answered "no"? What would be your reaction to that? If I were doing this more seriously, I think I'd be tempted to be completely honest and say "no", just to weed out the people looking for baby mammas. (I don't mind, and in some ways prefer, guys who already have kids, but just don't want any of my own.)

Maybe or "no" gets an auto-close from me. It's one of the most important things on my list (yes, even with my objections to marriage), so I'll let others chime in.

I'd advise against closing the "maybe" girls--there are a million reasons someone might say maybe that don't mean "no", including that they might not wish to seem too eager about it on a dating site.

 

[Alias]

GB drunken plentyoffish emails...SUBJ: dang

don't be that way girl, match made in heaven, look me up - I will have you either rolling on the floor in laughter or moaning in no time - I promise!

That was sent to every chick that read my initial email but did not delete it nor did they respond.3 Responses...

can you please send some pics? the one in your profile I'd need glasses to see....It's only fair......

OK...tell me a little about yourself.

Yuck!

my first block! I tried emailing the chick that sent me Yuck! and it said I was blocked

Response #4 from a chick from Prague:

Oh really?

 

[larry_boy_44]

Couple of eHarmony issues I wanted to hear people's opinions on...1. "Wants to have kids": the truth is that I do not. But I put "maybe". Have you guys ever seen someone who answered "no"? What would be your reaction to that? If I were doing this more seriously, I think I'd be tempted to be completely honest and say "no", just to weed out the people looking for baby mammas. (I don't mind, and in some ways prefer, guys who already have kids, but just don't want any of my own.)2. Closing out people to whom you're not physically attracted: I don't close someone out immediately even if I pull up their profile and know that there's not a snowball's chance in hell...I do this (or rather, don't) because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. My general rule of thumb is that I will advance two steps beyond the point where I find that someone is physically unappealing to me. In other words, if their picture is in their initial profile, I'll still do the short answers and the must haves/can't stands but then will close it, or if it shows up at a later point, I'll advance two steps from there. When I do close, I always just choose "I'm taking a break from dating" or "I have too much going on in my life at the moment". I've the feeling I'm overthinking this. I just hate the idea that people would know they're being closed based on their appearance. And I figure the first two stages take virtually no time anyway, so I'm not wasting much of their time or mine. Am I ?3. Not really an issue but just an observation...I seem to be matched overwhelmingly with Asian men, and in particular Indian and Korean guys. I don't care about race one way or another, but I wonder what this says about how I answered the questions in the personality test. I also get a lot of Europeans. Proportionately few white guys born in the US, and probably a proportion of black guys that approximates their population percentage.

1. I wouldn't be interested in "no". However, I doubt you would get too many closes from putting no, and even if you did get a close at best you would probably only end up on a couple dates with the guys who closed you early 'cuz you said no... 2. feel free to just close them... if you want to give them an excuse like you have been, rather than "Other" or "I'm not attracted to you" (or maybe its "there's no chemistry" or something lol), that is understandeable, but you don't have to go through a couple levels if you aren't interested...3. I've gotten some black women, maybe one or two latino women... and lots of white chicks

 

[Keys Myaths]

1. "Wants to have kids": the truth is that I do not. But I put "maybe". Have you guys ever seen someone who answered "no"? What would be your reaction to that? If I were doing this more seriously, I think I'd be tempted to be completely honest and say "no", just to weed out the people looking for baby mammas. (I don't mind, and in some ways prefer, guys who already have kids, but just don't want any of my own.)

Maybe or "no" gets an auto-close from me. It's one of the most important things on my list (yes, even with my objections to marriage), so I'll let others chime in.

I'd advise against closing the "maybe" girls--there are a million reasons someone might say maybe that don't mean "no", including that they might not wish to seem too eager about it on a dating site.

It's that important to me. I can try, but I feel like I'd be spinning my wheels.

 

[Keys Myaths]

BTW--can the eharmony people list their must haves/can't stands?

 

[larry_boy_44]

Must Haves:

Spirituality... I must have someone with a similar deep commitment to spirituality, who shares my beliefs. Family... I must have someone who shares my desire to have or adopt children. Loyal... I must have someone I can count on to always support me. Self-Confident... I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life's ups and downs. Religious Practice... My partner must be committed to being an active member of a church or temple congregation. Verbal Intimacy... I must know that my partner is sharing their deepest emotional thoughts and desires. Unassuming... I must have someone who is able to accept criticism, and even admit to being wrong sometimes. Curiosity... I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge and who strives to learn as much as possible. Staying In... I must have a partner who mainly enjoys staying in together and having quiet evenings alone or with close friends. Strong Character... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.

Can't Stands:

Lying... I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me. Boorishness... I can't stand someone who is inclined to rowdy, vulgar or disrespectful behavior when "having fun." Petty... I can't stand someone who focuses on imperfection. Racist... I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity. Cheating... I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people. Drugs... I can't stand someone who uses illegal recreational drugs. Self-Centered... I can't stand someone whose main topic of conversation is himself/herself. Infidelity... I can't stand someone who engages in sex outside a committed relationship. Hypocrites... I can't stand someone who holds a double standard for their actions and those of other people. Vanity... I can't stand someone who is overly interested in their physical appearance.

 

[Alias]

1. be honest - just say no, I bet you still get responses, albeit you may get more serial daters pursuing you, but now wouldn't that make for greater krista4 shtick?

2. don't lead people on, close them out from the get go, I have 41 profiles right now in my "in box" and I still close them out immediately if there is not chemistry there. I used to reply, No chemistry, but thought that was kind of harsh so I just choose Other - sure it leaves them guessing, but I think it is a little less rude

3. Exactly what Keys said, I don't think there is a lot to it to eHarmony's match engine, there are probably few woman that selected asian or korean in their profile choices, particularly those that live in Chicago which I am guessing is probably a pretty wasp-y area, but I am just guessing here. So since there are so few woman that they CAN match these guys to, you get all of them. I would suggest narrowing your race selections if you do not find yourself attracted to these prospects.

 

[krista4]

1. "Wants to have kids": the truth is that I do not. But I put "maybe". Have you guys ever seen someone who answered "no"? What would be your reaction to that? If I were doing this more seriously, I think I'd be tempted to be completely honest and say "no", just to weed out the people looking for baby mammas. (I don't mind, and in some ways prefer, guys who already have kids, but just don't want any of my own.)

Maybe or "no" gets an auto-close from me. It's one of the most important things on my list (yes, even with my objections to marriage), so I'll let others chime in.

I'd advise against closing the "maybe" girls--there are a million reasons someone might say maybe that don't mean "no", including that they might not wish to seem too eager about it on a dating site.

It's that important to me. I can try, but I feel like I'd be spinning my wheels.

Again, I think you'd find different levels of success with the maybes. If it's that important, rather than closing them immediately, you could ask more about it in one of your questions to them.

 

[krista4]

1. be honest - just say no, I bet you still get responses, albeit you may get more serial daters pursuing you, but now wouldn't that make for greater krista4 shtick?2. don't lead people on, close them out from the get go, I have 41 profiles right now in my "in box" and I still close them out immediately if there is not chemistry there. I used to reply, No chemistry, but thought that was kind of harsh so I just choose Other - sure it leaves them guessing, but I think it is a little less rude3. Exactly what Keys said, I don't think there is a lot to it to eHarmony's match engine, there are probably few woman that selected asian or korean in their profile choices, particularly those that live in Chicago which I am guessing is probably a pretty wasp-y area, but I am just guessing here. So since there are so few woman that they CAN match these guys to, you get all of them. I would suggest narrowing your race selections if you do not find yourself attracted to these prospects.

at Chicago being WASP-y, though.No, I don't want to change my racial criteria as it truly doesn't matter to me one way or the other...I just wondered if it said anything about me--for instance, I also tend to be matched with a lot of doctors and people who have technically oriented jobs, and not as many creative types.

 

[krista4]

BTW--can the eharmony people list their must haves/can't stands?

Must Haves: Intellect...... I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues. Sense of Humor...... I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life. Emotionally Healthy...... I must have a partner who is emotionally healthy, and able to share a stable life with someone else. Shared Interests...... I must have someone who is willing to share my interests and passions. Loyal...... I must have someone I can count on to always support me. Emotionally Generous...... I must have a partner who enjoys people and is generous with his or her compassion, attention, sympathies and love. Conflict Resolver...... I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship. Kindness...... I must have a partner who is gentle and kind. Strong Character...... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing. Chemistry...... I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner. Can't Stands: Anger...... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside. Lying...... I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me. Boorishness...... I can't stand someone who is inclined to rowdy, vulgar or disrespectful behavior when "having fun." Racist...... I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity. Cheating...... I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people. Self-Centered...... I can't stand someone whose main topic of conversation is himself/herself. Depressed...... I can't stand someone who is constantly unhappy about their life. Mean Spirited...... I can't stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others. Intolerance...... While I understand that religious conviction is a positive trait, I can't stand someone who is self-righteous and feels that their particular faith is the only one that matters. Arrogant...... I can't stand someone who is obnoxiously cocky.

 

[krista4]

I just realized that the "boorishness" one really doesn't bother me so much. I need to find a different one.

This reminds me of another thing I was curious about. When I was choosing Must Haves and Can't Stands, I found that I didn't feel very strongly about the "Must Haves" (i.e. I didn't care about most of the stuff) but felt that I wanted to choose almost all of the Can't Stands. I guess there are a lot of things I can't stand. Did anyone else have the same experience?

 

[Keys Myaths]

I just realized that the "boorishness" one really doesn't bother me so much. I need to find a different one.

This reminds me of another thing I was curious about. When I was choosing Must Haves and Can't Stands, I found that I didn't feel very strongly about the "Must Haves" (i.e. I didn't care about most of the stuff) but felt that I wanted to choose almost all of the Can't Stands. I guess there are a lot of things I can't stand. Did anyone else have the same experience?

No, you're just mean. (Yes, I feel that way. The Must Haves that are important to me are bolded, but I need to have all the can't stands out.)Must Haves:

Emotionally Healthy...... I must have a partner who is emotionally healthy, and able to share a stable life with someone else.

Family...... I must have someone who shares my desire to have or adopt children.

Self-Confident...... I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life's ups and downs.

Responsible...... My partner must be financially responsible.

Spirit of Volunteerism...... I must have a partner who shares my willingness to volunteer and support community and/or social causes.

Adaptability...... I must have a partner who is able to adapt to life's surprises.

Affectionate...... I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.

Patience...... I must have someone who can handle life's frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, steady, demeanor.

Strong Character...... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.

Chemistry...... I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.

Can't Stands:

Fiscally Irresponsible...... I can't stand someone who is incapable of managing their money.

Anger...... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.

Poor Hygiene...... I can't stand someone who is not clean.

Cheating...... I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people.

Childishness...... I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.

Undependable...... I can't stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.

Infidelity...... I can't stand someone who engages in sex outside a committed relationship.

Pessimism...... I can't stand someone who always sees the glass as half empty.

Intolerance...... While I understand that religious conviction is a positive trait, I can't stand someone who is self-righteous and feels that their particular faith is the only one that matters.

Victim Mentality...... While everyone has times of self-pity, I can't stand someone who continually sees himself/herself as a victim.

 

[krista4]

I just realized that the "boorishness" one really doesn't bother me so much. I need to find a different one.

This reminds me of another thing I was curious about. When I was choosing Must Haves and Can't Stands, I found that I didn't feel very strongly about the "Must Haves" (i.e. I didn't care about most of the stuff) but felt that I wanted to choose almost all of the Can't Stands. I guess there are a lot of things I can't stand. Did anyone else have the same experience?

No, you're just mean. (Yes, I feel that way. The Must Haves that are important to me are bolded, but I need to have all the can't stands out.)Must Haves:

Emotionally Healthy...... I must have a partner who is emotionally healthy, and able to share a stable life with someone else.

Family...... I must have someone who shares my desire to have or adopt children.

Self-Confident...... I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life's ups and downs.

Responsible...... My partner must be financially responsible.

Spirit of Volunteerism...... I must have a partner who shares my willingness to volunteer and support community and/or social causes.

Adaptability...... I must have a partner who is able to adapt to life's surprises.

Affectionate...... I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.

Patience...... I must have someone who can handle life's frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, steady, demeanor.

Strong Character...... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.

Chemistry...... I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.

Can't Stands:

Fiscally Irresponsible...... I can't stand someone who is incapable of managing their money.

Anger...... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.

Poor Hygiene...... I can't stand someone who is not clean.

Cheating...... I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people.

Childishness...... I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.

Undependable...... I can't stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.

Infidelity...... I can't stand someone who engages in sex outside a committed relationship.

Pessimism...... I can't stand someone who always sees the glass as half empty.

Intolerance...... While I understand that religious conviction is a positive trait, I can't stand someone who is self-righteous and feels that their particular faith is the only one that matters.

Victim Mentality...... While everyone has times of self-pity, I can't stand someone who continually sees himself/herself as a victim.

Hmmm...I like some of your Must Haves better than mine, especially the volunteering one. I didn't really put much thought in it, I guess.I was trying to change the boorishness one and can't figure out how to do it. Anyone know?

 

[Sister Havana]

I'm not set to get matches on Eharmony at the moment, but here are my Must Haves and Can't Stands.

Must Haves:

Autonomy...I must have a partner who will give me space to be my own person.

Spiritual Acceptance...My partner must accept and respect my spiritual beliefs, whether they share them or not.

Sense of Humor...I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.

Intellect...I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.

Tolerant...I must have a partner who is able to hear and appreciate divergent viewpoints.

Emotionally Generous...I must have a partner who enjoys people and is generous with his or her compassion, attention, sympathies and love.

Curiosity...I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge and who strives to learn as much as possible.

Patience...I must have someone who can handle life's frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, steady, demeanor.

Chemistry...I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.

No Children...I must have someone who shares my desire to not have children.

Can't Stands:

Lying...I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.

Rude...I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.

Uninterested...I can't stand someone who does not enjoy having sex on a regular basis.

Racist...I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity.

Cheating...I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people.

Drugs...I can't stand someone who uses illegal recreational drugs.

Pessimism...I can't stand someone who always sees the glass as half empty.

Hypocrites...I can't stand someone who holds a double standard for their actions and those of other people.

Intolerance...While I understand that religious conviction is a positive trait, I can't stand someone who is self-righteous and feels that their particular faith is the only one that matters.

Victim Mentality...While everyone has times of self-pity, I can't stand someone who continually sees himself/herself as a victim.

 

[Alias]

Response #4 from a chick from Prague:

Oh really?

She sent me an IM (that is a first). She is in Prague atm finishing up school, she returns to the US in a month so - short blond hair, but this one is cute!

 

[Keys Myaths]

I was trying to change the boorishness one and can't figure out how to do it. Anyone know?

Next time you get to that step, it'll give you the option to change. That change, whatever it is, is permanent.

 

[Alias]

Must Haves:

Intellect...... I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.

Sense of Humor...... I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.

Loyal...... I must have someone I can count on to always support me.

Self-Confident...... I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life's ups and downs.

Communicator...... I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.

Curiosity...... I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge and who strives to learn as much as possible.

Affectionate...... I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.

Conflict Resolver...... I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.

Kindness...... I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.

Strong Character...... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.

Can't Stands:

Anger...... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.

Lying...... I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.

Rude...... I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.

Poor Hygiene...... I can't stand someone who is not clean.

Racist...... I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity.

Childishness...... I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.

Undependable...... I can't stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.

Depressed...... I can't stand someone who is constantly unhappy about their life.

Mean Spirited...... I can't stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.

Arrogant...... I can't stand someone who is obnoxiously cocky.

 

[krista4]

Must Haves:Intellect...... I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.Sense of Humor...... I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.Loyal...... I must have someone I can count on to always support me.Self-Confident...... I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life's ups and downs.Communicator...... I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.Curiosity...... I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge and who strives to learn as much as possible.Affectionate...... I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.Conflict Resolver...... I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.Kindness...... I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.Strong Character...... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.Can't Stands:Anger...... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.Lying...... I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.Rude...... I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.Poor Hygiene...... I can't stand someone who is not clean.Racist...... I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity.Childishness...... I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.Undependable...... I can't stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.Depressed...... I can't stand someone who is constantly unhappy about their life.Mean Spirited...... I can't stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.Arrogant...... I can't stand someone who is obnoxiously cocky.

Alias and I share a whole lot of these.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Must Haves:Intellect...... I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.Sense of Humor...... I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.Loyal...... I must have someone I can count on to always support me.Self-Confident...... I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life's ups and downs.Communicator...... I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.Curiosity...... I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge and who strives to learn as much as possible.Affectionate...... I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.Conflict Resolver...... I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.Kindness...... I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.Strong Character...... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.Can't Stands:Anger...... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.Lying...... I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.Rude...... I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.Poor Hygiene...... I can't stand someone who is not clean.Racist...... I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity.Childishness...... I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.Undependable...... I can't stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.Depressed...... I can't stand someone who is constantly unhappy about their life.Mean Spirited...... I can't stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.Arrogant...... I can't stand someone who is obnoxiously cocky.

Alias and I share a whole lot of these.

in before larry boy says you guys share these too.

 

[krista4]

Must Haves:Intellect...... I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.Sense of Humor...... I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.Loyal...... I must have someone I can count on to always support me.Self-Confident...... I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life's ups and downs.Communicator...... I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.Curiosity...... I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge and who strives to learn as much as possible.Affectionate...... I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.Conflict Resolver...... I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.Kindness...... I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.Strong Character...... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.Can't Stands:Anger...... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.Lying...... I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.Rude...... I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.Poor Hygiene...... I can't stand someone who is not clean.Racist...... I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity.Childishness...... I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.Undependable...... I can't stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.Depressed...... I can't stand someone who is constantly unhappy about their life.Mean Spirited...... I can't stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.Arrogant...... I can't stand someone who is obnoxiously cocky.

Alias and I share a whole lot of these.

in before larry boy says you guys share these too.

6 User(s) are reading this topic (3 Guests and 2 Anonymous Users)1 Members: larry_boy_44

 

[Disco Stu]

1. "Wants to have kids": the truth is that I do not. But I put "maybe". Have you guys ever seen someone who answered "no"? What would be your reaction to that? If I were doing this more seriously, I think I'd be tempted to be completely honest and say "no", just to weed out the people looking for baby mammas. (I don't mind, and in some ways prefer, guys who already have kids, but just don't want any of my own.)

Maybe or "no" gets an auto-close from me. It's one of the most important things on my list (yes, even with my objections to marriage), so I'll let others chime in.

I'd advise against closing the "maybe" girls--there are a million reasons someone might say maybe that don't mean "no", including that they might not wish to seem too eager about it on a dating site.

It's that important to me. I can try, but I feel like I'd be spinning my wheels.

Again, I think you'd find different levels of success with the maybes. If it's that important, rather than closing them immediately, you could ask more about it in one of your questions to them.

I agree with krista here. I put maybe/unsure/undecided/open for that field, because it depends on the other person. If I ended up with someone who wants kids, cool. If she doesn't, that's fine too.Also, many (most?) women in the age range you're looking at don't really know what they want anyway. My ex always thought she didn't want kids. Then when she hit about 26, she did a complete 180.These girls may just be enjoying their independence now (while it's still relatively new) and can't imagine being tied down to a kid. Just because that's where her head is at 22, doesn't mean she'll still feel the same at 27.

 

[larry_boy_44]

Must Haves:Intellect...... I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.Sense of Humor...... I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.Loyal...... I must have someone I can count on to always support me.Self-Confident...... I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life's ups and downs.Communicator...... I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.Curiosity...... I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge and who strives to learn as much as possible.Affectionate...... I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.Conflict Resolver...... I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.Kindness...... I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.Strong Character...... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.Can't Stands:Anger...... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.Lying...... I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.Rude...... I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.Poor Hygiene...... I can't stand someone who is not clean.Racist...... I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity.Childishness...... I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.Undependable...... I can't stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.Depressed...... I can't stand someone who is constantly unhappy about their life.Mean Spirited...... I can't stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.Arrogant...... I can't stand someone who is obnoxiously cocky.

Alias and I share a whole lot of these.

in before larry boy says you guys share these too.

do we???

 

[krista4]

1. "Wants to have kids": the truth is that I do not. But I put "maybe". Have you guys ever seen someone who answered "no"? What would be your reaction to that? If I were doing this more seriously, I think I'd be tempted to be completely honest and say "no", just to weed out the people looking for baby mammas. (I don't mind, and in some ways prefer, guys who already have kids, but just don't want any of my own.)

Maybe or "no" gets an auto-close from me. It's one of the most important things on my list (yes, even with my objections to marriage), so I'll let others chime in.

I'd advise against closing the "maybe" girls--there are a million reasons someone might say maybe that don't mean "no", including that they might not wish to seem too eager about it on a dating site.

It's that important to me. I can try, but I feel like I'd be spinning my wheels.

Again, I think you'd find different levels of success with the maybes. If it's that important, rather than closing them immediately, you could ask more about it in one of your questions to them.

I agree with krista here. I put maybe/unsure/undecided/open for that field, because it depends on the other person. If I ended up with someone who wants kids, cool. If she doesn't, that's fine too.Also, many (most?) women in the age range you're looking at don't really know what they want anyway. My ex always thought she didn't want kids. Then when she hit about 26, she did a complete 180.These girls may just be enjoying their independence now (while it's still relatively new) and can't imagine being tied down to a kid. Just because that's where her head is at 22, doesn't mean she'll still feel the same at 27.

Good point--I wasn't even thinking about the age range issue as well. If you're talking about 35-year-old women who don't want kids, that's one thing, but 20-year-olds? If they said "yes" rather than "maybe", I might even think that's weird.

 

[Keys Myaths]

Good point--I wasn't even thinking about the age range issue as well. If you're talking about 35-year-old women who don't want kids, that's one thing, but 20-year-olds? If they said "yes" rather than "maybe", I might even think that's weird.

BTW--got matched with an older Chicago attorney, and got pretty excited (with my new age range).Her name was Shannon.

 

[krista4]

Good point--I wasn't even thinking about the age range issue as well. If you're talking about 35-year-old women who don't want kids, that's one thing, but 20-year-olds? If they said "yes" rather than "maybe", I might even think that's weird.

BTW--got matched with an older Chicago attorney, and got pretty excited (with my new age range).Her name was Shannon.

What's your new age range?

 

[Keys Myaths]

Good point--I wasn't even thinking about the age range issue as well. If you're talking about 35-year-old women who don't want kids, that's one thing, but 20-year-olds? If they said "yes" rather than "maybe", I might even think that's weird.

BTW--got matched with an older Chicago attorney, and got pretty excited (with my new age range).Her name was Shannon.

What's your new age range?

But methinks you need to expand down your age range to 24, and expand your mileage radius.

 

[krista4]

Good point--I wasn't even thinking about the age range issue as well. If you're talking about 35-year-old women who don't want kids, that's one thing, but 20-year-olds? If they said "yes" rather than "maybe", I might even think that's weird.

BTW--got matched with an older Chicago attorney, and got pretty excited (with my new age range).Her name was Shannon.

What's your new age range?

But methinks you need to expand down your age range to 24, and expand your mileage radius.

My name is only "K" on there, since the incident last time where I was matched with someone I knew. I have no idea what age range I specified.

 

[Keys Myaths]

"Second Questions" to one of my latest matches:

1. What are some of your favorite songs, and why?

2. You're bored on a Sunday afternoon...let's say around 12:15. You're sitting in your apartment/house, and nothing looks interesting. What do you do?

3. Some friends and I that joined this site together are arguing over the answer to the smoking question, "a few times a year". What exactly does that mean?



ETA: She smokes "a few times a year".

Some friends and I that joined this site together are arguing over the answer to the smoking question, "a few times a year". What exactly does that mean?:



Hmmm... well, I guess in my case, sometimes when I drink out at the bar, I will have cigarette. This occurs pretty rarely, but it has happened. I don't smoke regularly or buy cigarettes. Does that help?

 

[larry_boy_44]

"Second Questions" to one of my latest matches:

1. What are some of your favorite songs, and why?

2. You're bored on a Sunday afternoon...let's say around 12:15. You're sitting in your apartment/house, and nothing looks interesting. What do you do?

3. Some friends and I that joined this site together are arguing over the answer to the smoking question, "a few times a year". What exactly does that mean?



ETA: She smokes "a few times a year".

Some friends and I that joined this site together are arguing over the answer to the smoking question, "a few times a year". What exactly does that mean?:



Hmmm... well, I guess in my case, sometimes when I drink out at the bar, I will have cigarette. This occurs pretty rarely, but it has happened. I don't smoke regularly or buy cigarettes. Does that help?

Keys =

 

[Keys Myaths]

So, we're one step away from open communication with another girl, and eHarmony has a new feature where if they set their picture to show up "later", you can request it. While sending my answers to the second questions and sending mine, I click it.

She immediately closes.



(BTW--your pic automatically shows up when you close. I can see why you didn't want to send it.)

 

[Keys Myaths]

Since I've basically given up on Match, trying new "e-mail lines" for you guys.

I'll let you know what succeeds and what doesn't. It's anything from the outrageously bold, to the "compliment, but we'll never work" types. Hope that'll help a few of you.

 

[krista4]

So, we're one step away from open communication with another girl, and eHarmony has a new feature where if they set their picture to show up "later", you can request it. While sending my answers to the second questions and sending mine, I click it.She immediately closes. (BTW--your pic automatically shows up when you close. I can see why you didn't want to send it.)

Wow.So, are you going to be in touch with Shannon?

 

[Keys Myaths]

So, are you going to be in touch with Shannon?

Nah, closed her out.Her "introduction" not only screamed that she had caught the crazy at some point in her life, but that it's already spread to her extremities.

 

[larry_boy_44]

So, we're one step away from open communication with another girl, and eHarmony has a new feature where if they set their picture to show up "later", you can request it. While sending my answers to the second questions and sending mine, I click it.

She immediately closes.



(BTW--your pic automatically shows up when you close. I can see why you didn't want to send it.)

 

[krista4]

Had a friend cancel our plans for this evening, so just to show that I am committed to the iDating thread, I tried to get one of these guys to meet for drinks this evening. Meeting him at 7 pm. Hoping that much thread-worthy hilarity will ensue, but at least I'll get to sit outside on a beautiful night and have some wine. Always a possibility that I'll have to utilize my patented "get rid of him by becoming a complete and utter ##### so that he thinks he's better off not seeing me again" system. Will report back.

Oh, and .

ETA: Geez, now I have to figure out what to wear. I hate this stuff.

 

[krista4]

He texted me to reschedule. I'm mostly relieved, but was really looking forward to the wine.

 

[larry_boy_44]

Had a friend cancel our plans for this evening, so just to show that I am committed to the iDating thread, I tried to get one of these guys to meet for drinks this evening. Meeting him at 7 pm. Hoping that much thread-worthy hilarity will ensue, but at least I'll get to sit outside on a beautiful night and have some wine. Always a possibility that I'll have to utilize my patented "get rid of him by becoming a complete and utter ##### so that he thinks he's better off not seeing me again" system. Will report back.

Oh, and .

ETA: Geez, now I have to figure out what to wear. I hate this stuff.

that's hot...

 

[Sister Havana]

Wisconsin cutie had a family emergency and had to leave earlier than planned. I'm crossing my fingers that everything turns out all right with that. He will be back in the area for work in a couple weeks so I am hoping we can meet up then.

 

[Disco Stu]

So furley what do you think about this message?ps. do you like any of these things? Pets, books, eyeglasses, wine, politics, long vacations, making dinner, blue hair, hot pink sheets, sound, friction, long walks, chaos into sense, lady into fox.

I like sound!

I totally just stole this.

 

[Disco Stu]

This chick is... uhhh... interesting.

 

[krista4]

This chick is... uhhh... interesting.

Good that she used the "first date" space to tell more about herself. Wasn't getting enough info otherwise.

 

[Disco Stu]

This chick is... uhhh... interesting.

Good that she used the "first date" space to tell more about herself. Wasn't getting enough info otherwise.

At least she put it to good use...

sidenote; i love anime porn and bondage as well.

 

[krista4]

This chick is... uhhh... interesting.

Good that she used the "first date" space to tell more about herself. Wasn't getting enough info otherwise.

At least she put it to good use...

sidenote; i love anime porn and bondage as well.

Is there supposed to be a comma between anime and porn?

 

[Tremendous Upside]

I'm just so sick of the games...

No, not the lying, cheating, manipulating, etc...

I'm talking Scrabble, Monopoly, Parcheesi...I mean for ####s sake, what does Parcheesi even mean?

 

[Tremendous Upside]

This chick is... uhhh... interesting.

Good that she used the "first date" space to tell more about herself. Wasn't getting enough info otherwise.

At least she put it to good use...

sidenote; i love anime porn and bondage as well.

Is there supposed to be a comma between anime and porn?

Amazingly enough, probably not...It's big over in Japan (those are some perverted mother####ers over there)...

 

[larry_boy_44]

This chick is... uhhh... interesting.

Good that she used the "first date" space to tell more about herself. Wasn't getting enough info otherwise.

At least she put it to good use...

sidenote; i love anime porn and bondage as well.

Is there supposed to be a comma between anime and porn?

probably not...also, the french phrases:

je veux un homme parfait = "I want a perfect man"

bonne nuit mes amis, avec l'amour et les baisers. = "Good night my friends with love and kisses"

 

[krista4]

This chick is... uhhh... interesting.

Good that she used the "first date" space to tell more about herself. Wasn't getting enough info otherwise.

At least she put it to good use...

sidenote; i love anime porn and bondage as well.

Is there supposed to be a comma between anime and porn?

Amazingly enough, probably not...It's big over in Japan (those are some perverted mother####ers over there)...

Really? Had no idea...I like some of the anime movies, but didn't know it extended to porn...Parcheesi? Are you dating the elderly?

 

[larry_boy_44]

I'm just so sick of the games...No, not the lying, cheating, manipulating, etc...I'm talking Scrabble, Monopoly, Parcheesi...I mean for ####s sake, what does Parcheesi even mean?