Our kids generation and the military - advice? (1 Viewer)

[Worm]

My girlfriend has an almost 17 year old son. He will be a senior in HS next year. He is a straight A student without too much effort. Extremely smart, well behaved kid. The model student. He has interest in a lot of things engineering related and has talked about going into either civil engineering or mechanical / maritime engineering. 

His dad did not serve in the military, but is on the extreme conservative side of the spectrum. But he is pro military, and has encouraged his son to go straight into the service out of high school. He pitches the discipline, long run military career path, and free schooling.

His mom (my GF) is absolutely against him enlisting straight out of high school. She feels he should go to school first and see how he feels afterwards. She feels that 18 is too young for him to make a decision like that. She feels like even if he does decide to enlist AFTER college, he will go in with all the advantages that come with the college degree, and still have the option of the military officer career path.

How do FBG's feel? Advice? Any experience in this situation with your kids or even yourself? Regrets either way?

 

[Slapdash]

Why not go to one of the service academies if he is such a strong student and interested?  

 

[eoMMan]

If he's a bright kid, why not do ROTC?

I have a family member who did that. He got his bachelor's totally free and when he went into service after college, he was an officer.  I believe he had to do 4 active and 4 reserve years. 

At the end of the day, it's up to the kid. His dad should chill if the kid doesn't want to go into the military.

 

[Worm]

Why not go to one of the service academies if he is such a strong student and interested?  

This could be a good compromise. Honestly this has just come up pretty quick, and I don't know much about the various options.

 

[Poke_4_Life]

His mom and dad need to chill out.  Whether they like it or not, its his decision. 

He needs to make the decision and live with the consequences (good or bad), that's part of growing up. 

 

[Worm]

If he's a bright kid, why not do ROTC?

I have a family member who did that. He got his bachelor's totally free and when he went into service after college, he was an officer.  I believe he had to do 4 active and 4 reserve years. 

At the end of the day, it's up to the kid. His dad should chill if the kid doesn't want to go into the military.

I think he has some interest in it. But it's hard to tell what is what sometimes with kids in this situation - separating his true interests from what his dad wants him to do.

 

[gobrowns33]

I don't post a lot here, but this caught my attention as I have been an officer in the Air Force for almost 14 years now.  I have 3 young kids so this will probably be my advice to them as well.  With the son being a solid student and interested in Engineering I would push him towards the college route and if military is an interest, join ROTC in college.  ROTC will give them more of an insight to see if the military is right for them.  By doing that, many times ROTC will pay for college if you sign on to join the military (Commission as an Officer).  In that case, he gets college paid for, earns a Civil Engineering degree, and enters the Military as a Civil Engineering Officer.  As an officer he will make better money and gain a ton of real world CE experience.  If he doesn't want to stay in the military, he can get out after his initial commitment (4 or 6yrs...not sure for CE/ROTC), and will be very competitive on the outside for jobs.

I decided to commission in the Air Force post college after working a couple dead-end jobs so I was stuck paying student loans for 15yrs.  Had I thought about the military earlier, I may have done ROTC and saved a bunch of money.  Also, I would never "push" the military on my kids, but if they are interested, I will support and help them, while steering them to college and to commission as an officer.

 

[Slapdash]

This could be a good compromise. Honestly this has just come up pretty quick, and I don't know much about the various options.

Yeah, the service academies both provide excellent education and would be the biggest boon to a military career.  I don't know anyone I graduated with that straight up enlisted and could actually go to college and perform.  Of course, I grew up in Charleston so there were a lot of people interested in the military that went to the Citadel.  I knew a few people that went the ROTC route in college, it really is about 50/50  on how many of them actually stuck with it.  

The key question not in your post is whether the son is actually interested in the military.

 

[El Floppo]

If he's a bright kid, why not do ROTC?

I have a family member who did that. He got his bachelor's totally free and when he went into service after college, he was an officer.  I believe he had to do 4 active and 4 reserve years. 

At the end of the day, it's up to the kid. His dad should chill if the kid doesn't want to go into the military.

This was my thought as well. Had a handful of very bright friends so this.

 

[Ilov80s]

My girlfriend has an almost 17 year old son. He will be a senior in HS next year. He is a straight A student without too much effort. Extremely smart, well behaved kid. The model student. He has interest in a lot of things engineering related and has talked about going into either civil engineering or mechanical / maritime engineering. 

His dad did not serve in the military, but is on the extreme conservative side of the spectrum. But he is pro military, and has encouraged his son to go straight into the service out of high school. He pitches the discipline, long run military career path, and free schooling.

His mom (my GF) is absolutely against him enlisting straight out of high school. She feels he should go to school first and see how he feels afterwards. She feels that 18 is too young for him to make a decision like that. She feels like even if he does decide to enlist AFTER college, he will go in with all the advantages that come with the college degree, and still have the option of the military officer career path.

How do FBG's feel? Advice? Any experience in this situation with your kids or even yourself? Regrets either way?

I would say this: enroll in one of the service academics as noted or do ROTC in college. My BIL went to Michigan, did ROTC and then entered the Navy so he was an officer and quckly moved up the ranks to becoming the top assistant to an admiral. That seems like a good path. After he left the Navy, he has had endless opportunities due to his position and experience. 

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

If he is unsure, the ROTC route is a good one.  Sort of a test run.  He should look into it.  The info could clarify stuff for him.

 

[Foosball God]

My girlfriend has an almost 17 year old son. He will be a senior in HS next year. He is a straight A student without too much effort. Extremely smart, well behaved kid. The model student. He has interest in a lot of things engineering related and has talked about going into either civil engineering or mechanical / maritime engineering. 

His dad did not serve in the military, but is on the extreme conservative side of the spectrum. But he is pro military, and has encouraged his son to go straight into the service out of high school. He pitches the discipline, long run military career path, and free schooling.

His mom (my GF) is absolutely against him enlisting straight out of high school. She feels he should go to school first and see how he feels afterwards. She feels that 18 is too young for him to make a decision like that. She feels like even if he does decide to enlist AFTER college, he will go in with all the advantages that come with the college degree, and still have the option of the military officer career path.

How do FBG's feel? Advice? Any experience in this situation with your kids or even yourself? Regrets either way?

So we know how his dad and his mom feel.  Has he shown any interest at all in the  military, or is it just his dad's idea atm?

 

[El Floppo]

Fwiw, admission to service academies, as I understand them, are very difficult to get...and more of a commitment. But great option if he's into it.

Is the kid interested? If not, dad needs to give the kid some room.

 

[Worm]

So we know how his dad and his mom feel.  Has he shown any interest at all in the  military, or is it just his dad's idea atm?

Yes, he has. Again, it's hard to tell 100% how much of it is his interest and how much is dads, but there is interest there.

 

[Ned]

So we know how his dad and his mom feel.  Has he shown any interest at all in the  military, or is it just his dad's idea atm?

That was my immediate thought as well.  Nothing in the OP talks about it being the kid's idea.

 

[Foosball God]

Yes, he has. Again, it's hard to tell 100% how much of it is his interest and how much is dads, but there is interest there.

Then I agree that ROTC might be a compromise.  It will give him at least some idea of what the military might be like without a commitment.  Is there a branch of service he (aka his dad) is predisposed to?  Do you think the mom's concern is more about him potentially getting put in harms way over whether he is mature enough to make the decision?

 

[DallasDMac]

Why not go to one of the service academies if he is such a strong student and interested?  

I highly doubt he has a shot at the academies. You have to not only have a great GPA, but you must have participated in tons of activities. Not to mention, get sponsored by a senator or whatnot. The statement "without much effort" indicates his chances are slim to none of getting selected. ROTC is likely his only option.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I would literally rather have a daughter who was a stripper than a son in the military.

 

[Wrigley]

I would literally rather have a daughter who was a stripper than a son in the military.

So how are cinnamon and destiny doing?   

 

[-OZ-]

Why not go to one of the service academies if he is such a strong student and interested?  

That's a good option for a motivated kid. But that's not what the op presented. The "without much effort" part throws a wrench into an academy plan.

If he is unsure, the ROTC route is a good one.  Sort of a test run.  He should look into it.  The info could clarify stuff for him.

Yep. One option, the way I went, would be for him to take the military science 100 class to try to get a feel for ROTC without a commitment. Assuming it's anything like it was over 20 years ago, it's mostly fun. Rappelling, shooting, some land navigation and other basic skills, it's a class I'd encourage anyone to take whether they're interested in serving.  After that, if he does well and the cadre think he'd be a good fit, he can apply for a 2 or 3 year scholarship with a relatively short term commitment (unless it's changed, 4 years active, 4 years reserve including inactive reserve).  

I won't strongly encourage my kids to enlist straight out of high school (wouldn't discourage it if they want to either). But I will highly encourage taking the first class or two. Most likely they'd enjoy it and learn a little bit.

 

[Slapdash]

I highly doubt he has a shot at the academies. You have to not only have a great GPA, but you must have participated in tons of activities. Not to mention, get sponsored by a senator or whatnot. The statement "without much effort" indicates his chances are slim to none of getting selected. ROTC is likely his only option.

Yeah, you're right.  It is possible that statement was more about academics than in general, we just don't have the whole picture. 

 

[kface]

Tell him to go to a regular college and then he can figure out his life from there....

 

[Long Ball Larry]

I would literally rather have a daughter who was a stripper than a son in the military.

gonna need a pole for this.

 

[Worm]

The "without much effort" comment was about how easy school is for him as far as academics. He's done a lot of outside activities ranging from volunteering with beta (?) club to SkillsUSA competitions.

 

[Slapdash]

The "without much effort" comment was about how easy school is for him as far as academics. He's done a lot of outside activities ranging from volunteering with beta (?) club to SkillsUSA competitions.

How would you evaluate his discipline?  You mentioned that his father likes that angle, do you think he would really benefit from it?  If he does ROTC in college, how is he going to feel about getting up early to work out instead of staying out with his friends?

 

[NewlyRetired]

here is yet another vote for ROTC.  Both my niece and nephew did this at RPI.  They will be entering the Navy after their recent graduation. 

My niece appears to just want to do the 5 year gig and make a decision from there.  My nephew may go career.

Both had nothing but positive experiences from it.

 

[[scooter]]

My girlfriend has an almost 17 year old son. He will be a senior in HS next year. He is a straight A student without too much effort. Extremely smart, well behaved kid. The model student. He has interest in a lot of things engineering related and has talked about going into either civil engineering or mechanical / maritime engineering. 

His dad did not serve in the military, but is on the extreme conservative side of the spectrum. But he is pro military, and has encouraged his son to go straight into the service out of high school. He pitches the discipline, long run military career path, and free schooling.

His mom (my GF) is absolutely against him enlisting straight out of high school. She feels he should go to school first and see how he feels afterwards. She feels that 18 is too young for him to make a decision like that. She feels like even if he does decide to enlist AFTER college, he will go in with all the advantages that come with the college degree, and still have the option of the military officer career path.

How do FBG's feel? Advice? Any experience in this situation with your kids or even yourself? Regrets either way?

If the kid is a straight A student, then it sounds like some of the military's best benefits (discipline + education) would not be as helpful to him. He would likely get similar results by going to college and then into the workforce.

There's nothing wrong with being pro-military, but I have to wonder if the dad is really motivated by what he thinks his best for his son, or if he's just projecting his own regrets.

 

[Thorpe]

Sounds like the mother wants what's best for the son, and the father wants whats best for himself (having a son in the military gives him a lot of extra status in conservative circles)

 

[-OZ-]

The "without much effort" comment was about how easy school is for him as far as academics. He's done a lot of outside activities ranging from volunteering with beta (?) club to SkillsUSA competitions.

  like I wrote before, I won't discourage anyone from enlisting. But it sounds like he's better off with ROTC or an academy. With the academy you better know that's what you want though as you're giving up a "normal" college experience for it. You'd get a lot on return but you have to want it.

Sounds like the mother wants what's best for the son, and the father wants whats best for himself (having a son in the military gives him a lot of extra status in conservative circles)

Possibly. Or she's scared of her baby joining the military. This disagreement (Dad saying enlist, mom being reluctant or against) is extremely common.