What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

Personal Finance Advice and Education! (2 Viewers)

-OZ-

Footballguy
Sand said:
The difference between the two dates is so small I'd just take it now - I can't see any mathematical reason not to take it.  Take the 75% and not look back.  Use the money to make memories.
Agreed.  Although unless there’s COLA in the annuity I’d just take the cash / rollover into an IRA if you can. 

 

Nugget

Footballguy
I happy with my iBond investment decision this year.  The last 6 months have been a wake up call to the security of having some cash and fixed income assets.  I’ll still be likely 75%+ in stocks in my 401K and tax advantaged accounts.  Extra savings will likely be split between brokerage account, iBonds, and MM/HYSA/CDs. 

Anyone make other changes to their allocation plan going forward based on market moves?  

 

matttyl

Footballguy
Yes, upped my allocation into my 401k substantially.  Will be first year that I will max out a 401k contribution, and my wife is putting away as much as she’s allowed to with her employer mix of 403b,401a/whatever.  Buying everything at a discount.  
 

That said, from the looks of it, despite a max contribution into my 401k for the first time in my life, I’ll end the year with a lower balance than I started with.  

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
I happy with my iBond investment decision this year.  The last 6 months have been a wake up call to the security of having some cash and fixed income assets.  I’ll still be likely 75%+ in stocks in my 401K and tax advantaged accounts.  Extra savings will likely be split between brokerage account, iBonds, and MM/HYSA/CDs. 

Anyone make other changes to their allocation plan going forward based on market moves?  
Sold some of my bins in the traditional IRA late last week. Didn’t have much there to start with. Otherwise staying the course. Although I am making it more of a priority to pay off the M1 loan which was just raised to 3.5%, had been 2.25% when I took the loan to buy I bonds. Figure, paying off that loan is a higher return than the bonds I sold in the IRA. 

 

Just Win Baby

Footballguy
Anyone have any experience with Personal Capital? They called me on Monday, and, in a rare show of weakness, I agreed to a free consultation, which I had yesterday. I have another meeting set up next week to go over their initial recommendations, which are free. Of course, their objective is to sign me up as a client, at which point I start paying them (details unknown to me as of right now).

I am 53 and have always managed our investments myself. I think I have done a solid job, probably better than some financial advisors, especially considering the fees, and probably worse than others.

Due to my life situation, mentioned in previous posts, I expect to work to age 65 or later, so my time horizon is not yet to a point that I feel the need to be concerned about getting more conservative/balanced (but maybe that is naive on my part).

Anyway, interesting in any opinions on this.

 

Andrew74

Footballguy
I happy with my iBond investment decision this year.  The last 6 months have been a wake up call to the security of having some cash and fixed income assets.  I’ll still be likely 75%+ in stocks in my 401K and tax advantaged accounts.  Extra savings will likely be split between brokerage account, iBonds, and MM/HYSA/CDs. 

Anyone make other changes to their allocation plan going forward based on market moves?  
My only change has been more mentally accepting owning bonds now that rates are higher.  For a while really considered pushing stocks higher with 0% rates.  Now that you can get 4%-5%, bonds are more attractive.  

 

Sand

Footballguy
Anyone have any experience with Personal Capital? They called me on Monday, and, in a rare show of weakness, I agreed to a free consultation, which I had yesterday. I have another meeting set up next week to go over their initial recommendations, which are free. Of course, their objective is to sign me up as a client, at which point I start paying them (details unknown to me as of right now).
Their fees are pretty high and they will push you to sell to put money into their care.  Their philosophy is pretty good, but they're typical salesmen trying to get you into the fold.

My only change has been more mentally accepting owning bonds now that rates are higher.  For a while really considered pushing stocks higher with 0% rates.  Now that you can get 4%-5%, bonds are more attractive.  
Probably buying some 1 year T-bills at the next auction.  At the rate they're going they will be at 3.5-4%.

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
Anyone have any experience with Personal Capital? They called me on Monday, and, in a rare show of weakness, I agreed to a free consultation, which I had yesterday. I have another meeting set up next week to go over their initial recommendations, which are free. Of course, their objective is to sign me up as a client, at which point I start paying them (details unknown to me as of right now).

I am 53 and have always managed our investments myself. I think I have done a solid job, probably better than some financial advisors, especially considering the fees, and probably worse than others.

Due to my life situation, mentioned in previous posts, I expect to work to age 65 or later, so my time horizon is not yet to a point that I feel the need to be concerned about getting more conservative/balanced (but maybe that is naive on my part).

Anyway, interesting in any opinions on this.


Their fees are pretty high and they will push you to sell to put money into their care.  Their philosophy is pretty good, but they're typical salesmen trying to get you into the fold.

Probably buying some 1 year T-bills at the next auction.  At the rate they're going they will be at 3.5-4%.
👍🏽
It’s nice to see bond rates at a place worth buying now. 

Regarding PC - same. I was unlikely to use them anyway but when their fee included my TSP, that’s an easy no. their plan is interesting enough.  

 

jm192

Footballguy
Where are you guys seeing bonds at 4-5%?  I'm a big fan of bonds if they're at 4-5%.

Do you guys do a lot of individual bonds?  In the past I've used bond fund ETF's.  

I took over our investments in 2020, and the plan has always been minimal bonds until they actually had a respectable return.  

 

SFBayDuck

Footballguy
Nugget said:
I happy with my iBond investment decision this year.  The last 6 months have been a wake up call to the security of having some cash and fixed income assets.  I’ll still be likely 75%+ in stocks in my 401K and tax advantaged accounts.  Extra savings will likely be split between brokerage account, iBonds, and MM/HYSA/CDs. 

Anyone make other changes to their allocation plan going forward based on market moves?  


Started with iBonds for the first time last year, and am about to put another $5K in this month to hit my $10K limit.  Seeing that as moving my emergency fund over there for now as the 11+ month lockups start to expire on my first purchases this Fall, and will hope to keep adding every year once I've built that up over time and figure that into my overall bond allocation. 

The only other thing I've done really is rebalance in my 401K - I have 45% growth fund, 45% value fund, and 10% bond fund allocation setup for contributions (which I'm maxing with the catch-up as I turn 50 in the Fall).  The recent market moves had that down to 40% growth and 8% bonds, so I brought them back to my desired allocation.  I plan to keep doing that at least a couple of times a year, if not quarterly.

Where are you guys seeing bonds at 4-5%?  I'm a big fan of bonds if they're at 4-5%.

Do you guys do a lot of individual bonds?  In the past I've used bond fund ETF's.  

I took over our investments in 2020, and the plan has always been minimal bonds until they actually had a respectable return.  


Also curious on this....the bonds in my retirement accounts are just bond ETFs.  Wondering if there is a better way to do that, especially with rates moving up, but I'm just not very knowledgeable on bonds.  

 

Andrew74

Footballguy
Where are you guys seeing bonds at 4-5%?  I'm a big fan of bonds if they're at 4-5%.

Do you guys do a lot of individual bonds?  In the past I've used bond fund ETF's.  

I took over our investments in 2020, and the plan has always been minimal bonds until they actually had a respectable return.  
I don’t buy individual bonds because outside of Treasuries, you will get crucified with the bid/ask spread on small lots (anything less than $100,000).  If you buy a small lot municipal bond, you are going to pay 0.5%-1.0% in transaction fee, if you r lucky.  Never believe a broker who tells you otherwise.  And a PSA, please never buy any type of individual mortgage bond (MBS, CMO, etc).

The AGG ETF’s current yield to maturity is 3.84%.  Many of the core/core+ bonds fund we use at work have YTM between 4.5%-5.5%.  If you are buying high yield funds,  you are closer to 8%.  

 

Sand

Footballguy
Where are you guys seeing bonds at 4-5%?  I'm a big fan of bonds if they're at 4-5%.
I'm all ears, as well.  I noted I'm likely buying 1 year T-Bills.  Those hit 3% in the last auction.  My assumption (you know, pulling it out of my ###) is that the latest funds rate increase would push things higher in July. 

I have a decent bit of cash I can lock up and that kind of yield is respectable.

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
Been thinking about moving the emergency money over to a brokerage account to pick up sp500 ETF and try to catch the falling knife...
I don’t carry an EF, but I have an Emergency Plan. What would you do if you needed to access funds and the market drops more? 

 

Nugget

Footballguy
Sell and eat the loss.
I’ve come around to appreciate having some cash/iBonds. I’d I had another 10K invested in VTI,  the gains aren’t going to be life changing. If you have 100K sitting in an emergency fund, I’d invest between 50-80% in an ETF. 

 

The Z Machine

Footballguy
I’ve come around to appreciate having some cash/iBonds. I’d I had another 10K invested in VTI,  the gains aren’t going to be life changing. If you have 100K sitting in an emergency fund, I’d invest between 50-80% in an ETF. 
Yeah, I'm at like $80k sitting in cash. Happy I didn't buy an ETF in Jan.

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
Sell and eat the loss.
It’s a risk then. If you’re willing to take it, go for it.  I’ve found I like having enough in our checking account to cover the next month’s bills, but that’s it. After that, I can cash out $20k in I bonds now (will increase to $50k next year), and take another $20k from a margin account (now at 3.5% interest) before selling anything. We’re incredibly unlikely to need more than $40k any time soon. But I don’t consider the I bonds to be an EF as they’re earmarked for an SUV in the next two years unless a loan would be lower interest than they’re yielding at  that point. 

 

Runkle

Footballguy
Kinda curious to look up all those 2018-2019 FIRE folks in about six months and see how they're doing. Deciding you can afford to drop out of the workforce and live off your pile of money seems easy at the end of a 10-year bull run. Wondering how it looks after 3 years of pandemic uncertainty, a stock market dive into recession, and 10% inflation. 

 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Kinda curious to look up all those 2018-2019 FIRE folks in about six months and see how they're doing. Deciding you can afford to drop out of the workforce and live off your pile of money seems easy at the end of a 10-year bull run. Wondering how it looks after 3 years of pandemic uncertainty, a stock market dive into recession, and 10% inflation. 
I guess I should know what that is but don't... I am pretty sure I understand what your post is saying but I am stuck here. Help me out. 

 

NutterButter

Footballguy
Kinda curious to look up all those 2018-2019 FIRE folks in about six months and see how they're doing. Deciding you can afford to drop out of the workforce and live off your pile of money seems easy at the end of a 10-year bull run. Wondering how it looks after 3 years of pandemic uncertainty, a stock market dive into recession, and 10% inflation. 
My twisted schadenfreude nature has been thinking about them a lot lately.  

 
Last edited by a moderator:

Runkle

Footballguy
I guess I should know what that is but don't... I am pretty sure I understand what your post is saying but I am stuck here. Help me out. 


Financial Independence/Retire Early. There are/were a lot of people starting 3-4 years ago saying stuff like "I can reduce my spending to $30,000 a year. Therefore by the 4% Retirement Rule, if I have $750,000 invested in a broad index fund, I can retire now at 35 and live forever off the interest." And then they made some blogs and talked a whole bunch of other people into following them down the path. I'm very curious to see where they are now and what their projections look like. 

 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Financial Independence/Retire Early. There are/were a lot of people starting 3-4 years ago saying stuff like "I can reduce my spending to $30,000 a year. Therefore by the 4% Retirement Rule, if I have $750,000 invested in a broad index fund, I can retire now at 35 and live forever off the interest." And then they made some blogs and talked a whole bunch of other people into following them down the path. I'm very curious to see where they are now and what their projections look like. 
Yikes. 

Bad ideas abound.

 

Buckna

RMT Beta Tester
Runkle said:
Financial Independence/Retire Early. There are/were a lot of people starting 3-4 years ago saying stuff like "I can reduce my spending to $30,000 a year. Therefore by the 4% Retirement Rule, if I have $750,000 invested in a broad index fund, I can retire now at 35 and live forever off the interest." And then they made some blogs and talked a whole bunch of other people into following them down the path. I'm very curious to see where they are now and what their projections look like. 
There’s a Reddit group that I peek at every once in a while and it just blows my mind sometimes. Most recent one was a guy in his early 40’s who has nearly a million already looking to retire. The trick of course? His salary is 200k a friggin’ year!

 
Last edited by a moderator:

Runkle

Footballguy
There’s a Reddit group that I peek at every once in a while and it just blows my mind sometimes. Most recent one was a guy in his early 40’s who has nearly a million already looking to retire. The trick of course? His salary is 200k a friggin’ year!


I get they think they can cut costs. I understand how it's possible for someone in their late 20s/early 30s to live on 30K, 40K a year. When you're young and healthy that's easy, I was broke enough back then I was doing the same because I had to.

But the whole thing is predicated on: 1) expenses don't go up... even 'adjusted for inflation'* it's 40K in 2020 dollars forever... no concept of how life gets more expensive as you're older. God forbid any of them get sick, ever. And, 2)... the asterisk * of inflation... these people were banking on 4% withdrawal rates and were literally typing things out like "historical inflation is only 3%, and for the past 10 years it's only been 1-2%, we may never see 3-5% again in our lifetimes. If anything I'm being too conservative and can probably spend more! Every year the inflation rate is below 3% I get to pocket the difference, plenty of cushion!"

It never made much sense before and just seems impossible now. 

 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
There’s a Reddit group that I peek at every once in a while and it just blows my mind sometimes. Most recent one was a guy in his early 40’s who has nearly a million already looking to retire. The trick of course? His salary is 200k a friggin’ year!
He thinks he is going to retire on the equivalent of 5 years worth of income? Like does he plan on selling a bunch of crap and then move to middle of no where and live off grid or something? 

 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
I get they think they can cut costs. I understand how it's possible for someone in their late 20s/early 30s to live on 30K, 40K a year. When you're young and healthy that's easy, I was broke enough back then I was doing the same because I had to.

But the whole thing is predicated on: 1) expenses don't go up... even 'adjusted for inflation'* it's 40K in 2020 dollars forever... no concept of how life gets more expensive as you're older. God forbid any of them get sick, ever. And, 2)... the asterisk * of inflation... these people were banking on 4% withdrawal rates and were literally typing things out like "historical inflation is only 3%, and for the past 10 years it's only been 1-2%, we may never see 3-5% again in our lifetimes. If anything I'm being too conservative and can probably spend more! Every year the inflation rate is below 3% I get to pocket the difference, plenty of cushion!"

It never made much sense before and just seems impossible now. 
Good thing I didn't read that in the original because I would have likely hurt myself laughing. 

There has to be some so called financial guru pushing this. Like a Dave Ramsey clone preaching silliness but only with this shtick instead of the anti-loan shtick. 

 

Instinctive

Footballguy
FWIW you're only taking the most extreme FIRE examples. Financial independence to Retire Early is a normal goal, and many different flavors exist. 

For instance, I'm on a path where if I can get at least $3M in the bank (well, the market), I'll consider myself FI (Financially Independent). It's enough to roughly draw $100k/yr, and that's plenty to live on. Add in that my wife doesn't want to retire at like 35 like I am considering, and we're in a great spot. 

 

Buckna

RMT Beta Tester
FWIW you're only taking the most extreme FIRE examples. Financial independence to Retire Early is a normal goal, and many different flavors exist. 

For instance, I'm on a path where if I can get at least $3M in the bank (well, the market), I'll consider myself FI (Financially Independent). It's enough to roughly draw $100k/yr, and that's plenty to live on. Add in that my wife doesn't want to retire at like 35 like I am considering, and we're in a great spot. 
True enough, your stated plan sounds very reasonable and well planned out which is how the idea really started. The ones that I generally shake my head at are indeed the extreme examples like someone who is going to try to make ends meet living out of a van or “traveling the world” on 30k a year. Or the ones that get inspired by the idea at 20 and plan to retire before they hit 30. That is a whole lot of years of lifetime to make the money last.

I am often impressed by some of the peoples ability to pinch pennies and come up with some good money saving and investing ideas or tips on living life. But too often it’s a #### measuring contest made up of 1%’ers earning so much more than the typical person or inheriting their money or getting a leg up due to rich parents that many are out of touch with reality. So like us typical FBG’s  :P

 

Instinctive

Footballguy
True enough, your stated plan sounds very reasonable and well planned out which is how the idea really started. The ones that I generally shake my head at are indeed the extreme examples like someone who is going to try to make ends meet living out of a van or “traveling the world” on 30k a year. Or the ones that get inspired by the idea at 20 and plan to retire before they hit 30. That is a whole lot of years of lifetime to make the money last.

I am often impressed by some of the peoples ability to pinch pennies and come up with some good money saving and investing ideas or tips on living life. But too often it’s a #### measuring contest made up of 1%’ers earning so much more than the typical person or inheriting their money or getting a leg up due to rich parents that many are out of touch with reality. So like us typical FBG’s  :P
Agreed. 

The principles are generally very good. Things like adjusting to a lifestyle where you're paying only for what you truly value, how positive it is to learn to do things (e.g., I built a whole bookshelf addition instead of paying someone) rather than pay for them (like fixing a downspout and burying it french drain style instead of paying a contractor), recognizing that making frugal choices is much more powerful than people realize, thinking through things like "do we really need more than one car?" and the like. Add in the power of investing, which far too few in our nation still do, or thinking through unseen costs to be more TCO mindset...all great lessons. 

Sure some folks take it to the extreme. That's true of everything in life.

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
Chadstroma said:
I guess I should know what that is but don't... I am pretty sure I understand what your post is saying but I am stuck here. Help me out. 
Answered already but retiring “early” is entirely possible. 

Chadstroma said:
Yikes. 

Bad ideas abound.
Not necessarily. Just requires good planning. I’d rather work at something I enjoy and live it up just a little. 

 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Answered already but retiring “early” is entirely possible. 

Not necessarily. Just requires good planning. I’d rather work at something I enjoy and live it up just a little. 
Agreed, retiring early is totally possible. Retiring on a million dollars when you are in your 40's from a $200K job... short of living near poverty level.... is just dumb. 

Also, retiring is retiring, meaning not working. Working a job you want to do or having a small business or something like that and no longer working more lucrative job is a whole different thing. 

 

Desert_Power

Footballguy
Runkle said:
Kinda curious to look up all those 2018-2019 FIRE folks in about six months and see how they're doing. Deciding you can afford to drop out of the workforce and live off your pile of money seems easy at the end of a 10-year bull run. Wondering how it looks after 3 years of pandemic uncertainty, a stock market dive into recession, and 10% inflation. 
I'm more curious how two folks I know who have retired this year at my age plus or minus a year (34). Folks in the 18/19 cohorts are probably just fine if they had a broadly diversified portfolio.

 

Sand

Footballguy
Chadstroma said:
Yikes. 

Bad ideas abound.
Big fan of the FI part of it (and I was for exactly one week as 2022 started, now not so much).  The RE requires a lot more conservatism than folks think.  Now is one of those times.  Hopefully this is the last this severe in my lifetime.

The worst stock market since 1932 (in real terms) and worst bond market since 1788 is a few sigma event, so right now is definitely black swan time.

Also, retiring is retiring, meaning not working. Working a job you want to do or having a small business or something like that and no longer working more lucrative job is a whole different thing. 
I've gone through the math in great detail and it's amazing what a 25k/year side gig does for beating down the risk of ruin.

 
Last edited by a moderator:

Orange&Blue

Footballguy
I plan on mowing/etc at a golf course for minimum wage that also let's me play a round 2x a week.

The old guy across the street has done this for a decade.  Goes in to mow/etc for couple hours a day and then plays 2x a week.  They get a reliable guy who won't care about full time hours or benefits... He get's some cash and free play.  Win/win. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:

Chadstroma

Footballguy
I plan on mowing/etc at a golf course for minimum wage that also let's me play a round 2x a week.

The old guy across the street has done this for a decade.  Goes in to mow/etc for couple hours a day and then plays 2x a week.  They get a reliable guy who won't care about full time hours or benefits... He get's some cash and free play.  Win/win. 
I had a client, retired firefighter mid 40's. Had a little business of making hand made custom fly rods and would do fishing guide gigs. He spent most of his time fishing, made some money on top of his pensions etc and spent most of his time doing the thing he was moat passionate about. 

Did he "work" well... he earned money but he didn't consider it work. Did earn as much income as a firefighter? No, not close. Did the time as a firefighter allow him to do it? Yup. 

On a side note, found out his unit was who responder and pulled me out of my truck when I rolled it. It was cool to be able to thank him. 

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
Big fan of the FI part of it (and I was for exactly one week as 2022 started, now not so much).  The RE requires a lot more conservatism than folks think.  Now is one of those times.  Hopefully this is the last this severe in my lifetime.

The worst stock market since 1932 (in real terms) and worst bond market since 1788 is a few sigma event, so right now is definitely black swan time.

I've gone through the math in great detail and it's amazing what a 25k/year side gig does for beating down the risk of ruin.
Absolutely. A $25k part time gig would virtually guarantee us smooth sailing.  In FI terms, that reduces your # by over half a million and provides stability Assuming the job is stable. If you actually enjoy the job, it probably reduces your spending, increases life satisfaction and keeps you mentally engaged. 

Fwiw, I highly doubt this will be the last severe down swing of our lifetimes. I kinda hope it isn’t, as statistically that would be more likely to mean we die earlier than I’d like. 
 

 

ConstruxBoy

Kate's Daddy
FIRE is great if used the right way. My opinion is that almost everyone in their 40s should look at some of the ideas to see if they can cut back in some places and invest more in others to be able to retire in their late 50s instead of in their late 60s. That's a great and realistic goal, especially for people who got some retirement savings started early in their career. 

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
So… quarterly report. :scared:
Posting here for accountability and to see how others do theirs (if you bother with it)

Retirement accounts (includes contributions) down 12% since April, down 13% YTD. total NW down 10%, or roughly 1.5x my annual salary YTD. 
If retired, we’d be pulling 4.9% withdrawal rate this year while last year was 4.6%. I’m comfortable with up to 6% withdrawal without much adjustment but the target is below 5%. Of course this includes that my pension covers 66% of our spending. 

 

cubd8

Footballguy
So, definitely a personal finance question, but also a life question and looking for any wisdom/advice.

long story short, girl friend lives in Denver; I'm in the Chicago area; We've continued to see each other since she moved, but distance (and other factors) have created some issues in our relationship.

We both agree we need to spend more time together, but I'm against staying in Denver for longer than 2 weeks at a time (she had suggested 1 month) given that we have had issues of late. I'm also not ready to move to Denver.

She currently rents, I currently own a condo (no renting allowed) where I have a great interest rate (2.12% on a 15 year with about 13.5 years remaining).  I have a job in the Chicago area where I have to make appearances from time to time, she is full time remote in Denver. She moved there to be around her 2 brothers and loves nature.

I have suggested that she consider moving back to Chicago, but she wants to stay in Denver. I may ask that she comes to Chicago for longer periods (I do 95% of the traveling today to Denver) to help bridge the gap as well.

I am planning to suggest longer stays (2 week stays), plus a vacation later this year (we haven't done that before) AND asking her to come to Chicago more often. I am not ready to move Denver, but also understand she wants to stay and am willing to consider moving there, but I don't think we're ready for that yet, nor can we ignore finances - I own a condo with a historically low interest rate and have a job I need to be somewhat present for (I have a team that reports to me, but we are mainly remote). She doesn't have a mortgage - is just renting - and has the fully remote job. To me, this is somewhat simple. If distance is one of the issues (which I agree that it is), come to Chicago more often.

In the meantime, I am not going to commit to moving to Denver for the time being and am not going to be put any time frame on it if we are struggling to spend shorter time together. I think we need to reset our relationship and see if we can make it through this period.

Saying a lot above to give some context and happy too address any questions.....

Looking for any general advice on how to handle this from a financial standpoint. She rents, I own. How do we even consider a future together with our current commitments, I am at a place in my life where I don't want to rent, just own.

Any ways to make the relationship work while we are distant other than what I have suggested? Am what I am suggesting reasonable?

 

Just Win Baby

Footballguy
cubd8 said:
So, definitely a personal finance question, but also a life question and looking for any wisdom/advice.

long story short, girl friend lives in Denver; I'm in the Chicago area; We've continued to see each other since she moved, but distance (and other factors) have created some issues in our relationship.

We both agree we need to spend more time together, but I'm against staying in Denver for longer than 2 weeks at a time (she had suggested 1 month) given that we have had issues of late. I'm also not ready to move to Denver.

She currently rents, I currently own a condo (no renting allowed) where I have a great interest rate (2.12% on a 15 year with about 13.5 years remaining).  I have a job in the Chicago area where I have to make appearances from time to time, she is full time remote in Denver. She moved there to be around her 2 brothers and loves nature.

I have suggested that she consider moving back to Chicago, but she wants to stay in Denver. I may ask that she comes to Chicago for longer periods (I do 95% of the traveling today to Denver) to help bridge the gap as well.

I am planning to suggest longer stays (2 week stays), plus a vacation later this year (we haven't done that before) AND asking her to come to Chicago more often. I am not ready to move Denver, but also understand she wants to stay and am willing to consider moving there, but I don't think we're ready for that yet, nor can we ignore finances - I own a condo with a historically low interest rate and have a job I need to be somewhat present for (I have a team that reports to me, but we are mainly remote). She doesn't have a mortgage - is just renting - and has the fully remote job. To me, this is somewhat simple. If distance is one of the issues (which I agree that it is), come to Chicago more often.

In the meantime, I am not going to commit to moving to Denver for the time being and am not going to be put any time frame on it if we are struggling to spend shorter time together. I think we need to reset our relationship and see if we can make it through this period.

Saying a lot above to give some context and happy too address any questions.....

Looking for any general advice on how to handle this from a financial standpoint. She rents, I own. How do we even consider a future together with our current commitments, I am at a place in my life where I don't want to rent, just own.

Any ways to make the relationship work while we are distant other than what I have suggested? Am what I am suggesting reasonable?
If she is "the one" for you then:

  1. If you can get her to come to Chicago more and make it work, you should
  2. If you need to move to Denver to make it work, you should
     
Either way, this isn't really a PF question. You might need to get a different job for #2, but not really a PF question.

If she isn't the one, then none of this matters too much.

:2cents:  

 
Last edited by a moderator:

ConstruxBoy

Kate's Daddy
I'd argue that she isn't the one for you and move on. Finding "the one" also involves it being the right time in the right place. That part doesn't seem like it is working for you two. 

 

Judge Smails

Footballguy
cubd8 said:
So, definitely a personal finance question, but also a life question and looking for any wisdom/advice.

long story short, girl friend lives in Denver; I'm in the Chicago area; We've continued to see each other since she moved, but distance (and other factors) have created some issues in our relationship.

We both agree we need to spend more time together, but I'm against staying in Denver for longer than 2 weeks at a time (she had suggested 1 month) given that we have had issues of late. I'm also not ready to move to Denver.

She currently rents, I currently own a condo (no renting allowed) where I have a great interest rate (2.12% on a 15 year with about 13.5 years remaining).  I have a job in the Chicago area where I have to make appearances from time to time, she is full time remote in Denver. She moved there to be around her 2 brothers and loves nature.

I have suggested that she consider moving back to Chicago, but she wants to stay in Denver. I may ask that she comes to Chicago for longer periods (I do 95% of the traveling today to Denver) to help bridge the gap as well.

I am planning to suggest longer stays (2 week stays), plus a vacation later this year (we haven't done that before) AND asking her to come to Chicago more often. I am not ready to move Denver, but also understand she wants to stay and am willing to consider moving there, but I don't think we're ready for that yet, nor can we ignore finances - I own a condo with a historically low interest rate and have a job I need to be somewhat present for (I have a team that reports to me, but we are mainly remote). She doesn't have a mortgage - is just renting - and has the fully remote job. To me, this is somewhat simple. If distance is one of the issues (which I agree that it is), come to Chicago more often.

In the meantime, I am not going to commit to moving to Denver for the time being and am not going to be put any time frame on it if we are struggling to spend shorter time together. I think we need to reset our relationship and see if we can make it through this period.

Saying a lot above to give some context and happy too address any questions.....

Looking for any general advice on how to handle this from a financial standpoint. She rents, I own. How do we even consider a future together with our current commitments, I am at a place in my life where I don't want to rent, just own.

Any ways to make the relationship work while we are distant other than what I have suggested? Am what I am suggesting reasonable?
You lost me (and her) with moving from Denver to Chicago. 

 

Charlie Harper

Footballguy
cubd8 said:
So, definitely a personal finance question, but also a life question and looking for any wisdom/advice.

long story short, girl friend lives in Denver; I'm in the Chicago area; We've continued to see each other since she moved, but distance (and other factors) have created some issues in our relationship.

We both agree we need to spend more time together, but I'm against staying in Denver for longer than 2 weeks at a time (she had suggested 1 month) given that we have had issues of late. I'm also not ready to move to Denver.

She currently rents, I currently own a condo (no renting allowed) where I have a great interest rate (2.12% on a 15 year with about 13.5 years remaining).  I have a job in the Chicago area where I have to make appearances from time to time, she is full time remote in Denver. She moved there to be around her 2 brothers and loves nature.

I have suggested that she consider moving back to Chicago, but she wants to stay in Denver. I may ask that she comes to Chicago for longer periods (I do 95% of the traveling today to Denver) to help bridge the gap as well.

I am planning to suggest longer stays (2 week stays), plus a vacation later this year (we haven't done that before) AND asking her to come to Chicago more often. I am not ready to move Denver, but also understand she wants to stay and am willing to consider moving there, but I don't think we're ready for that yet, nor can we ignore finances - I own a condo with a historically low interest rate and have a job I need to be somewhat present for (I have a team that reports to me, but we are mainly remote). She doesn't have a mortgage - is just renting - and has the fully remote job. To me, this is somewhat simple. If distance is one of the issues (which I agree that it is), come to Chicago more often.

In the meantime, I am not going to commit to moving to Denver for the time being and am not going to be put any time frame on it if we are struggling to spend shorter time together. I think we need to reset our relationship and see if we can make it through this period.

Saying a lot above to give some context and happy too address any questions.....

Looking for any general advice on how to handle this from a financial standpoint. She rents, I own. How do we even consider a future together with our current commitments, I am at a place in my life where I don't want to rent, just own.

Any ways to make the relationship work while we are distant other than what I have suggested? Am what I am suggesting reasonable?


Why'd she move?

 

NutterButter

Footballguy
If she isn't willing to come to Chicago more frequently, then I don't think this will work for you.   She has the more favorable circumstances based on what you're stating and she's the one that moved away.   

 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top