Popular Songs With Terrible Lyrics (2 Viewers)

[Hot Sauce Guy]

So I just drove 16.5 hours from ABQ ~> home after the national fiery food show.

Couldn’t get a dogsitter for tomorrow, so yeah - that was a new challenge.

Anyway, between my iTunes & various regional radio stations, I listened to 1,064 miles worth of music, and some very popular songs have some super dumb lyrics

If there’s already a topic for this, let me know - I searched but couldn’t find one.

My first nomination: Stairway to Heaven

You’d be hard pressed to find a bigger Led Zep fan than me. But this song’s lyrics are vague at best. And not like Plant mailing it in with classic blues song rip-offs like he does in Black Dog - no, I’m talking half finished concepts, to downright unintelligible messaging.

“There's a sign on the wall, but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings”

Oooookay - what’s the sign say? We don’t know either of the meanings because we have no idea.

Then it jumps right to “In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven”

Is….is the songbird singing that? I’m so confused.

The rest isn’t too terribly bad, but man - I’ve belted out the lyrics to this along with the (album, then tape, then CD, then digital copy) more times than I can count and somehow never realized how goofy this song is.

the other one that stood out to me today was Bon Jovi, who’s “seen a million faces”, and he’s “rocked them all.” in Dead of Alive.

Yes, Jon Bon Jovi will rock your face.

He also has a “loaded” 6-string on his back, whatever the hell that means.

Any other hit songs with super dumb lyrics? Name & shame!

 

[Soulfly3]

came in here, knowing there was only 1 post, and still was 110% certain that the song was going to be Yellow Ledbetter.

leave it to HSG to disappoint me

 

[Snoopy]

McArthur Park about a cake ruined in the rain and no longer having the recipe?

 

[Mister CIA]

Purple people eaters. Who is purple? The people or the eaters?

 

[3C's]

Any current song fits the bill.

#getoffofmylawn

 

[Anarchy99]

It’s been 27 years since the mastery, the brilliance, the deeply introspective meaning of MMMBop from Hanson. Who knew that two teenagers and an 11 year old could produce something so mature and personal that it impacted so many of us?

Mmm bop, ba dupa dop
Ba du dop, ba dupa dop
Ba du dop, ba dupa dop
Ba du

Sheer brilliance. Three weeks on the top of the singles chart. It changed my life.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

I'm still a big fan of the Beach Boys work in the 60s but by this song not so much

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take you to
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego
Baby, why don't we go? (Ooh, I wanna take you down to Kokomo)
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go
Way down in Kokomo

 

[falguy]

You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh-eh

 

[Ilov80s]

It’s been 27 years since the mastery, the brilliance, the deeply introspective meaning of MMMBop from Hanson. Who knew that two teenagers and an 11 year old could produce something so mature and personal that it impacted so many of us?

Mmm bop, ba dupa dop
Ba du dop, ba dupa dop
Ba du dop, ba dupa dop
Ba du

Sheer brilliance. Three weeks on the top of the singles chart. It changed my life.

At least they knew it was dumb and simple. I am guessing when LZ wrote Stairway they thought it was genius. Some lyrics are knowingly dumb like that one Poison song where they just used random syllables and meant to replace it later but never could figure it out (unskinny bop). But what’s truly bad is when they think it’s something profound and it’s dumb as hell.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Abe Vigoda actually did not have very many rhymes, so boasting about how you have more rhymes than him really isn't the flex that you think it is.

 

[Snoopy]

Another one:

I am I Said by Neil Diamond had:

"I am", I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair

 

[fruity pebbles]

Coward of the County
Gang raped his future wife and I guess a butt kicking was enough to settle the score

 

[Joe Schmo]

So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, "Oh, it's you"
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew"

Yeah, that's bullspit. There was insulting, mothereffing, accusations and yelling. There is a good chance his own lovely lady went home and threw his stuff on the lawn and changed the locks and it's also possible the police were called as he threatened to burn the house down and she threatened to shoot him if he didn't leave but there was certainly no laughter.

 

[Wildcat]

Coward of the County
Gang raped his future wife and I guess a butt kicking was enough to settle the score

Maybe he killed them? The lyrics don't indicate that it was just a butt kickn':

[Verse 4]
The Gatlin boys just laughed at him
When he walked into the barroom
One of them got up and met him half way cross the floor
Tommy turned around they said, "Hey look, old yella's leavin'"
But you could've heard a pin drop
When Tommy stopped and locked the door
Twenty years of crawling was bottled up inside him
He wasn't holding nothing back, he let 'em have it all
When Tommy left the bar room, not a Gatlin boy was standing
He said, "This one's for Becky" as he watched the last one fall
N' I heard him say

 

[Wildcat]

Your lipstick stains
On the front lobe of my left-side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you
And so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moonbeam
The smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided
You're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

 

[Ilov80s]

Your lipstick stains
On the front lobe of my left-side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you
And so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moonbeam
The smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided
You're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

They take the cake for consistently awful lyrics

 

[Kev4029]

It’s been 27 years since the mastery, the brilliance, the deeply introspective meaning of MMMBop from Hanson. Who knew that two teenagers and an 11 year old could produce something so mature and personal that it impacted so many of us?

Mmm bop, ba dupa dop
Ba du dop, ba dupa dop
Ba du dop, ba dupa dop
Ba du

Sheer brilliance. Three weeks on the top of the singles chart. It changed my life.

I don't know if you remember the rest of the lyrics, but the hook and the happy beat sells the content of the song short.

Here is the first verse:
You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all the pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
Oh yeah
And they're gone so fast, yeah
Oh, so hold on the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
And when you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care?
Oh care

 

[Ilov80s]

She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo
Reminds me that there's a room to grow, hey, yeah
Now that she's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as
Plain ol' Jane told a story about a man
Who was too afraid to fly, so he never did land

 

[IvanKaramazov]

We all agree that We Didn't Start The Fire can go without further mention here, right?

 

[Anarchy99]

It’s been 27 years since the mastery, the brilliance, the deeply introspective meaning of MMMBop from Hanson. Who knew that two teenagers and an 11 year old could produce something so mature and personal that it impacted so many of us?

Mmm bop, ba dupa dop
Ba du dop, ba dupa dop
Ba du dop, ba dupa dop
Ba du

Sheer brilliance. Three weeks on the top of the singles chart. It changed my life.

I don't know if you remember the rest of the lyrics, but the hook and the happy beat sells the content of the song short.

Here is the first verse:
You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all the pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
Oh yeah
And they're gone so fast, yeah
Oh, so hold on the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
And when you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care?
Oh care

They were 16, 14, and 11. How many people did they know and how many relationships did they have by then? Good on them for getting rich as teens (or younger).

 

[Galileo]

Is this the thread where people do not appreciate poetry?

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

While we’re here, Take the Money and Run has zero redeeming qualities.

Billy Joe & BobbIe Sue got high, were bored with watching television, so they did a home invasion in TX, where they killed a dude, and then got away with it.

Hoo-hoo-hoo indeed, Steve Miller.

I’m not even gonna address rhyming Texas with “facts is”, or the awful grammar that it should be “are”.

 

[Dr_Zaius]

We all agree that We Didn't Start The Fire can go without further mention here, right?

I think the lyrics in the Fall Out Boy remake might be even worse than the original!

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

A Horse With No Name

For one, name your damn horse. That’s just weird. You’re going all the way to and from the desert, the least you can do is name your horse. Wtf.

For another
I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can't remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La la la la la la...

I just- i- dafaq?

 

[Dr_Zaius]

A Horse With No Name

America definitely has some questionable lyrics. Sandman has the very baffling chorus, with the bonus negative of rhyming man with sandman:

'Cause I understand you've been running from the man
That goes by the name of the Sandman
He flies the sky like an eagle in the eye
Of a hurricane that's abandoned

 

[Ilov80s]

The Clash ask the question: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

If I go there will be trouble, if I stay it will be double.

Sure sounds like it’s actually a very easy choice.

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

with the bonus negative of rhyming man with sandman:

Yet still somehow more advanced than Kid Rock.

Exhibit A:
And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things

Yes, the man rhymed things with things.

Never mind it being the hackiest song that ever hacked in that he basically just wrote terrible lyrics to “sing” over Sweet Home Alabama.

Why was that song ever played on the radio? You can almost feel the collapse of society shift a little more when stuff like that happens.

 

[Anarchy99]

The Clash ask the question: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

If I go there will be trouble, if I stay it will be double.

Sure sounds like it’s actually a very easy choice.

That's my favorite song from the 80's.

 

[Anarchy99]

with the bonus negative of rhyming man with sandman:

Yet still somehow more advanced than Kid Rock.

Exhibit A:
And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things

Yes, the man rhymed things with things.

Never mind it being the hackiest song that ever hacked in that he basically just wrote terrible lyrics to “sing” over Sweet Home Alabama.

Why was that song ever played on the radio? You can almost feel the collapse of society shift a little more when stuff like that happens.

Almost as good as Blurred Lines . . .

I feel so lucky
You wanna hug me
What rhymes with hug me?

 

[Wildcat]

with the bonus negative of rhyming man with sandman:

Yet still somehow more advanced than Kid Rock.

Exhibit A:
And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things

Yes, the man rhymed things with things.

Never mind it being the hackiest song that ever hacked in that he basically just wrote terrible lyrics to “sing” over Sweet Home Alabama.

Why was that song ever played on the radio? You can almost feel the collapse of society shift a little more when stuff like that happens.

I kind of like it. He actually sampled three songs: Sweet Home Alabama, Werewolves of London, and Night Moves.

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

He actually sampled three songs: Sweet Home Alabama, Werewolves of London, and Night Moves.

They’re all basically the same song.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

De-do-do-do, de-da-da-da
Is all I want to say to you
De-do-do-do, de-da-da-da
Their innocence will pull me through
De-do-do-do, de-da-da-da
Is all I want to say to you
De-do-do-do, de-da-da-da
They're meaningless and all that's true

 

[worrierking]

Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin' is the absolute worst. I have always hated Journey for foisting this abomination upon the world. Even worse, it's catchy as hell.

You make me weep and want to die
Just when you said we'd try
Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other
When I'm alone all by myself
You're out with someone else
Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other
You're tearin' me apart
Every day, every day
You're tearin' me apart
Oh what can I say?
You're tearin' me apart
It won't be long, yes, till you're alone
When your lover, oh, he hasn't come home
'Cause he's lovin' who he's touchin', he's squeezin' another
He's tearin' you apart
Ooh, every day, every day
He's tearin' you apart
Oh girl what can you say?
'Cause he's lovin', touchin' another
Now it's your turn, girl, to cry
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na

 

[wlwiles]

with the bonus negative of rhyming man with sandman:

Yet still somehow more advanced than Kid Rock.

Exhibit A:
And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things

Yes, the man rhymed things with things.

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses...

 

[nirad3]

You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh-eh

Winner. Or should I say loser?

 

[Payne]

Gangnam Style

End thread

 

[nirad3]

While we’re here, Take the Money and Run has zero redeeming qualities.

Billy Joe & BobbIe Sue got high, were bored with watching television, so they did a home invasion in TX, where they killed a dude, and then got away with it.

Hoo-hoo-hoo indeed, Steve Miller.

I’m not even gonna address rhyming Texas with “facts is”, or the awful grammar that it should be “are”.

Sorry totally disagree, this one's a gem.

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin' is the absolute worst. I have always hated Journey for foisting this abomination upon the world. Even worse, it's catchy as hell.

You make me weep and want to die
Just when you said we'd try
Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other
When I'm alone all by myself
You're out with someone else
Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other
You're tearin' me apart
Every day, every day
You're tearin' me apart
Oh what can I say?
You're tearin' me apart
It won't be long, yes, till you're alone
When your lover, oh, he hasn't come home
'Cause he's lovin' who he's touchin', he's squeezin' another
He's tearin' you apart
Ooh, every day, every day
He's tearin' you apart
Oh girl what can you say?
'Cause he's lovin', touchin' another
Now it's your turn, girl, to cry
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na

Even Don’t Stop Believin’ is a terrible lyrical catastrophe. That one came on a couple times along my ride.

Right off the bat, did it really need to be Believin’? That one extra letter just a bridge too far? They already had Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’, so maybe they felt boxed in at that point?

On to the lyrics:

Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere

Ok, other than the inconvenient fact that “south Detroit” doesn’t exist, this sounds like a fine start - let’s see where this is going with those crazy kids! Did they have a chance encounter? I bet they met on the train goin’ annnnnyyyywhere, right? Let’s find out!

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Wait, who? What? What happened to the kids on the train? Were they on separate trains? Do they even meet? Who is this singer sharing the night with for a smile? WTF is even happening here?

Strangers waitin'
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searchin' in the night
Streetlights, people
Livin' just to find emotion
Hidin', somewhere in the night

So wait, the kids on the train & the singer in the smokey room and now people and streetlights and they’re all…hidin’ “somewhere” in the night? Are you ok, Steve Perry? Do you smell burnt toast?

Workin' hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice
Just one more time

And now it’s a song about gambling? I-

Some'll win, some will lose
Some are born to sing the blues
Whoa, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

The movie? What movie? What are you talking about, Steve? What happened to those kids on the train?!

Strangers waitin'
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searchin' in the night
Streetlights, people
Livin' just to find emotion
Hidin', somewhere in the night

Now you’re just repeating a line that didn’t make sense in the 1st place.

like you, I love Journey, but this song’s lyrics are a hot mess.

Fun fact: when I was in jr high in the marching band, I took clarinet lessons from Neil Schon’s dad. Neil went to my high school.

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses...

Whoa whoa whoa now that’s a bridge too far. War Pigs is sacred territory, pal. Black Sabbath is allowed to do whatever they want.


alsoyoureright

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

Sorry totally disagree, this one's a gem.

Oh it’s a fun song! It’s super catchy, and I’ve sung along to it many, many times at beach bonfires with a ghetto blaster cranking it while pallets burned & beer flowed like water.

But it’s unquestionably a terrible, awful story with a bad ending. And the detective, Billy Mack “ain't gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin' off of the people's taxes”

Yeah - that’s the 1st and last we ever hear of this utter failure of a man. And it’s another terrible rhyme of justice & taxes. Feels like Miller forced in “facts is” because he felt bad about that one.

Why would we possibly root for Billie Joe and Bobbie Sue?! They got high and robbed/shot/killed a dude in his own house!

 

[Dr_Zaius]

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses...

Whoa whoa whoa now that’s a bridge too far. War Pigs is sacred territory, pal. Black Sabbath is allowed to do whatever they want.


alsoyoureright

sorcerer of death's construction, on the other hand, is a great metal line shortly thereafter that makes up a bit for the opening miss.

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses...

Whoa whoa whoa now that’s a bridge too far. War Pigs is sacred territory, pal. Black Sabbath is allowed to do whatever they want.


alsoyoureright

sorcerer of death's construction, on the other hand, is a great metal line shortly thereafter that makes up a bit for the opening miss.

Technically speaking, in this context, “masses” in the 1st line, a noun, refers to a quantity, while “masses” in the 2nd line, a verb, refers to a religious ceremony.

Kid Rock’s things & things are not totally analogous to War Pigs masses & masses.

 

[wlwiles]

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses...

Whoa whoa whoa now that’s a bridge too far. War Pigs is sacred territory, pal. Black Sabbath is allowed to do whatever they want.


alsoyoureright

sorcerer of death's construction, on the other hand, is a great metal line shortly thereafter that makes up a bit for the opening miss.

Technically speaking, in this context, “masses” in the 1st line, a noun, refers to a quantity, while “masses” in the 2nd line, a verb, refers to a religious ceremony.

Kid Rock’s things & things are not totally analogous to War Pigs masses & masses.

Be careful stretching like that or you'll throw your back out

I absolutely didn't mean to imply that War Pigs isn't a banger, or that it somehow justified Kid Rock's dreck. Just that KR isn't the first person to rhyme something with itself is all...

Also as a childhood Catholic who graduated from St. Whoever high school, "masses" absolutely means religious ceremony to me, but it always felt like a noun. Mass = church service/ceremony = a thing, not an action. You're having mass, but you're not massing.

 

[Anarchy99]

If we are going to dissect every song ever written, we will be here a long time. The list of silly long lyrics is mighty long.

A lot of song lyrics can be made by performer and with proper delivery. Back in the day, I remember my teenage son singing Man! I Feel Like A Woman during karaoke night on a cruise ship, complete with faux strip tease moves. People were literally falling over laughing it was so funny. I'm saving pics / video of that for future blackmail purposes.

 

[PIK95]

Norwegian Wood. Inside jokes suxor.

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

If we are going to dissect every song ever written, we will be here a long time

It’s a discussion forum - isn’t that the idea?

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

Just that KR isn't the first person to rhyme something with itself is all...

I’m just sayin. Technically speaking. To be fair (to be faaaaaaaaaiire)

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

Gangnam Style

End thread

It was incredible to me how that song went so viral. The dumbing down of society is legit.

 

[Gally]

Jeesh......some people take music really seriously. If it's catchy and easy to remember it works for me. I don't think I have ever thought about the in depth symbolism or meaning of any song. It's just there for entertainment for me. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[Hot Sauce Guy]

Jeesh......some people take music really seriously. If it's catchy and easy to remember it works for me. I don't think I have ever thought about the in depth symbolism or meaning of any song. It's just there for entertainment for me. Nothing more, nothing less.

I’m largely the same - driving 1,064 miles changes a man.

Also, that’s kind of the point of the topic - great/popular songs are sometimes nonsensical, so it’s fun to look a little closer & explore that.

None of this is intended as serious.