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Should I start drinking? (1 Viewer)

Gachi

Gachi

Footballguy
And would it solve anything? 

I'm just at a stressful time in my life and I don't see it getting better any time soon. I just need something to take the edge off. 

I'm in my early 20s and about to graduate college with no job prospects. I want to go to medical school, but my grades aren't that great. 

My mother is dying a slow, painful death from cancer. 

I find it difficult to be excited about anything. I think I might be depressed. 

All my friends are occupied with their own lives, so I really don't have anyone to talk to. 

I'm slowly becoming an atheist. Finally realizing that religion is nothing but a tool to control the masses. 

Never been in a romantic relationship before, mainly because I'm gay and still closeted.

I've never been a big drinker, the last time I got drunk was almost a year ago. It felt good to be able to let loose, but the day after completely sucked. I was sick as a dog and vowed to never drink again. But maybe I just need to know how to pace myself. 

What do you guys think? And what are your drink suggestions? 

(P.S. I hate beer but I like vodka and whiskey)

 
I'd recommend seeing a counselor and avoid booze for now.  Drinking when depressed can lead to bad things.

Sorry to hear about your mom - T&Ps and good luck.

 
I'm no counselor but these are things I liked to do when I was not feeling the best - go hang out with friends, find some team sports to play, find some activities, ride a bike. Having a beer or drink is fine maybe just not a substitute for other enjoyable things. 

Relax and good luck.

 
Will solve nothing. The only way to drink is if you enjoy it and do it in moderation, not to solve problems. Is there anything preventing you from coming out other than shame? Its nothing to be ashamed about and may lead to finding friends you can talk to. 

I suggest you drink a glass of water and get some sleep. 

 
If they are too occupied to talk with you when you need them, they are not friends.  Fine new people to hang with.

 
I'm probably in the minority here but I think alcohol can get a great stress reliever.  One or two drinks will take the edge off and I suggest you find a gay bar to have them in.

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
I'm probably in the minority here but I think alcohol can get a great stress reliever.  One or two drinks will take the edge off and I suggest you find a gay bar to have them in.
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Terrible advice.  Alcohol and depression is not a good mixture.  Having a drink or two to relax is fine when you are otherwise in a healthy state of mind.  As a tool to escape depression and/or your various identity crises, however, alcohol can be very destructive.

Take AAA's advice above and seek a counselor.  You need to develop strategies for coping with your issues and resolving them in a healthy manner.  Your school probably has some services available to you.  

 
My answer would be a mix of the previous posters.

1.Alcohol and depression is a bad combination. People react to drinking in different ways, but if you are really down, it might briefly put you in a good mood, but that high won't last. Mixing alcohol and depression is how people end up killing themselves. 

2. Alcohol can reduce inhibition and make one more social so if you are looking to get out and meet new people, be open with your sexuality, etc. than a couple drinks can help. 

3. The part you said about drinking and being sick the next day means you drank way way too much. Being in your 20s, you should be able to have a couple drinks, get a buzz and feel fine the next morning. If you do drink and feel bad the next day, you drank too much. If this keeps happening, then you have a problem and drinking is not for you. Stop before it becomes a habit. 

4. If you do decide to drink, don't ever drink alone. For someone depressed and lonely, it's just an awful idea. The only time you need to be drinking is in a social situation when you are using it to help develop and build relationships with other people. 

 
Galileo said:
Terrible advice.  Alcohol and depression is not a good mixture.  Having a drink or two to relax is fine when you are otherwise in a healthy state of mind.  As a tool to escape depression and/or your various identity crises, however, alcohol can be very destructive.

Take AAA's advice above and seek a counselor.  You need to develop strategies for coping with your issues and resolving them in a healthy manner.  Your school probably has some services available to you.  
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He is in his early 20s and a closeted gay man, I wouldn't call him clinically depressed.  He needs to get out of the closet and live a life that is true to himself.  A couple of drinks, perhaps some Molly and some random sex with a condom will do him wonders.  Much better than jumping into therapy and being medicated.

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
He is in his early 20s and a closeted gay man, I wouldn't call him clinically depressed.  He needs to get out of the closet and live a life that is true to himself.  A couple of drinks, perhaps some Molly and some random sex with a condom will do him wonders.  Much better than jumping into therapy and being medicated.
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Agree wholeheartedly. Get the hell out of the closet. I mean, if you feel like you need to keep it from your mother, okay, you don't need to shout it from the rooftops. But go to places where other gay men are. Whether it be bars or gatherings or whatever. Seek some romantic and/or physical interaction. If you're shy, get over it and start a conversation with a guy to whom you are attracted. If he blows you off, go talk to someone else. That could be where a couple drinks can help in the right circumstances.

 
Totally missed the part about being closeted.  Definitely do not start drinking.  You need to find a way to solve your emotional issues (who you are attracted to, who you are) far clear of chemicals.  Drinking more will push you further and further into the closet for a number of reasons.  Find some support forums or groups, find some gay social circles, find friends that are supportive of you. You would be surprised at how many of your friends probably all suspect you are gay. Doesn't mean you have to shout it from the rooftops but you definitely should explore how to get comfortable in your own skin. 

And oh, skip med school.  

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
He is in his early 20s and a closeted gay man, I wouldn't call him clinically depressed.  He needs to get out of the closet and live a life that is true to himself.  A couple of drinks, perhaps some Molly and some random sex with a condom will do him wonders.  Much better than jumping into therapy and being medicated.
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Also, I would say late college/early 20s is a typical time for people to go through a rough patch. I know I did. Major changes can be bring major stress, but the good news is that if the challenges are tackled, people usually feel satisfied with the way it works. 

 
Thought a few of the posters were being a little harsh and went back and reread your OP, I missed the closeted gay part as well. You got a lot going on and should talk to someone IMO.  Drinks are not be an issue now and then but a professional will give you better insight on this. Best wishes.

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
He is in his early 20s and a closeted gay man, I wouldn't call him clinically depressed.  He needs to get out of the closet and live a life that is true to himself.  A couple of drinks, perhaps some Molly and some random sex with a condom will do him wonders.  Much better than jumping into therapy and being medicated.
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I don't disagree about coming out of the closet and being true to himself, but there is much more going on in the OP than just that single issue.  And who said anything about being medicated?  Counseling does not require medication.  

 
I think you'd be surprised how welcoming your friends will be if you come out. A couple guys I know from college came out recently and we were all like, "uh, OK. Whatever. Good for you." It's just not that big of a deal anymore (coming from a straight guy that might not be a fair statement). And actually, as someone above mentioned, most folks probably already suspect anyway.

But I agree you should stay away from the alcohol for now unitl you get your stuff worked out.

 
If one of my longtime friends or a family member was gay, I would be more upset with them not telling me then upset with their preference in who plays pitch and catch.

 
Ok so I won't start drinking.

I made an appointment to see a psychologist later on this week (my school offers free counseling). 

Now I have a new issue: I've never talked to a professional before. I'm kind of nervous. I don't think I'm going to mention my sexuality, it's hard to talk about. 

 
First off, cancer sucks.  I'm sorry about what is happening to your mom.

Depression is real, and nothing to be ashamed of - particularly with so much going on.

Reading some of your other posts in this forum, and I can understand why coming out might be difficult.  If I am correct, you are also a black man living in Texas.  One of my best friends is a black gay man and not only did he have a hard time coming out, but he says it is even harder coming out in the black community.  He was lucky enough to find someone and is now in a long term relationship.   Just hang in there....you'll find your perfect person some day - you are still soooooo young!

Surround yourself with good people that care about you, and take care.  It sounds like you are a smart guy - if you can plow through all this, you can do anything....

 
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