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So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (1 Viewer)

Life is not worth living. I regret we live in a world where people think that is cowardly. 

To live ive every day, every minute and hour in pain, and to have most others think of you as a coward instead of thinking about the effort you have given for years.

That is why people kill themselves. Because nothing they do is good enough and there will always be a group of small minded fools that consider them cowards without even attempting to imagine a second in their mind.

Humanity is a disgusting waste.

 
Life is not worth living. I regret we live in a world where people think that is cowardly. 

To live ive every day, every minute and hour in pain, and to have most others think of you as a coward instead of thinking about the effort you have given for years.

That is why people kill themselves. Because nothing they do is good enough and there will always be a group of small minded fools that consider them cowards without even attempting to imagine a second in their mind.

Humanity is a disgusting waste.
I think a lot of people see it as cowardly because the people that are left who care about the departed have to suffer the pain of his/her loss.  It's seen as selfish because you're ending your own pain at the expense of transferring that onto another.

For you, you just need to break patterns.  Get off the bottle.  Realize that you're creating your own reality.  Get help.

 
Life is not worth living. I regret we live in a world where people think that is cowardly. 

To live ive every day, every minute and hour in pain, and to have most others think of you as a coward instead of thinking about the effort you have given for years.

That is why people kill themselves. Because nothing they do is good enough and there will always be a group of small minded fools that consider them cowards without even attempting to imagine a second in their mind.

Humanity is a disgusting waste.
I do not think that you are a coward.  I think you are severely depressed and need to make some big changes in your life.  You are miserable because you are doing nothing with your life.  A 33-year old man should not spend hours/day playing video hockey pretending he is a great hockey player.  And, get off the drugs and alcohol.  They are not working for you. 

Read a book.  Go for a walk in a park and take in nature.  Go bird watching.  Spend a day at the zoo.  Volunteer at a hospital or pet shelter.   Volunteer to clean up a park or roadside.  Get another part-time job at a place that interests you.  Guitar center?  Home Depot?  Detailing cars? 

You need to rejoin society. 

 
I do not think that you are a coward.  I think you are severely depressed and need to make some big changes in your life.  You are miserable because you are doing nothing with your life.  A 33-year old man should not spend hours/day playing video hockey pretending he is a great hockey player.  And, get off the drugs and alcohol.  They are not working for you. 

Read a book.  Go for a walk in a park and take in nature.  Go bird watching.  Spend a day at the zoo.  Volunteer at a hospital or pet shelter.   Volunteer to clean up a park or roadside.  Get another part-time job at a place that interests you.  Guitar center?  Home Depot?  Detailing cars? 

You need to rejoin society. 
If he is severely depressed, we aren't just talking about somebody feeling down in the dumps for a day or two. He could be doing "nothing with his life" because he is miserable. 

Your suggestions for activities to try to rejoin society are well meaning. But,to a severely depressed person,they sound as simple as taking a trip to the moon. 

I'm not sure what help is needed here, but at a minimum a mental health professional needs to be seen. There could be a chemical imbalance involved and medication may be required. 

 
My ex from NY agreed to come to Texas so we can get married and have a baby as long as I stop abusing drugs and alcohol
And?

You've said repeatedly that you want a family, you want the love of a good woman, you want to be a dad.  You want to kick booze/drugs, right?  Where's the downside?

 
Of course, the real answer is that you should only do this if you genuinely love this woman and want to spend the rest of your life with her.  If you'd be doing this as a means to an end to try to dispel your own demons, that isn't fair to her or a child you might have with her.  Or really even to yourself for that matter.

 
My ex from NY agreed to come to Texas so we can get married and have a baby as long as I stop abusing drugs and alcohol
Happy Friday! 

This thread was really getting stagnant

Think you should update the thread title to "RnR getting married and going to be a dad"

 
Of course, the real answer is that you should only do this if you genuinely love this woman and want to spend the rest of your life with her.  If you'd be doing this as a means to an end to try to dispel your own demons, that isn't fair to her or a child you might have with her.  Or really even to yourself for that matter.
I do love her. She's the only woman I trust completely and probably ever will. Our relationship is the longest I've ever had and the only one to endure as a friendship as well. She's always been a positive influence on me. 

Plus shes asian

 
Hey man, you sound down... Maybe if others share their positive experiences it will lighten up your day. 

Here is my week, in brand new $10k watch version, enjoy:

Pool hasn't been under 90 degrees all week, even at 742am.

Nice trip to the beach in the morning with my boys, wife, & watch. 
& about a minute earlier

But this is really what makes life worth living (these small little moments, which luckily my awesome wife helped capture), I'd wager heavily that you'll be a great dad and better husband:

http://i.imgur.com/b178olH.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/vpu2QEW.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/dupTUnt.jpg

Moments worth living for, amirite?

 
Hey man, you sound down... Maybe if others share their positive experiences it will lighten up your day. 

Here is my week, in brand new $10k watch version, enjoy:

Pool hasn't been under 90 degrees all week, even at 742am.

Nice trip to the beach in the morning with my boys, wife, & watch. 
& about a minute earlier

But this is really what makes life worth living (these small little moments, which luckily my awesome wife helped capture), I'd wager heavily that you'll be a great dad and better husband:

http://i.imgur.com/b178olH.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/vpu2QEW.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/dupTUnt.jpg

Moments worth living for, amirite?
Nice pics. Two questions:

1) how come there are no pics of the wife (even from a distance)?

2) where are the swingers when these pics were taken?

 
Hey man, you sound down... Maybe if others share their positive experiences it will lighten up your day. 

Here is my week, in brand new $10k watch version, enjoy:

Pool hasn't been under 90 degrees all week, even at 742am.

Nice trip to the beach in the morning with my boys, wife, & watch. 
& about a minute earlier

But this is really what makes life worth living (these small little moments, which luckily my awesome wife helped capture), I'd wager heavily that you'll be a great dad and better husband:

http://i.imgur.com/b178olH.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/vpu2QEW.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/dupTUnt.jpg

Moments worth living for, amirite?
The last three pics are nice and all, but I can't even see your watch.

 
Nice pics. Two questions:

1) how come there are no pics of the wife (even from a distance)?

2) where are the swingers when these pics were taken?
1) wife is not a FBG fan (she pretty much hates this place and my fake internet acquaintances)... Not worth any headaches... 

meh, here you go, she can't even complain about this 

Actually, on second thought

2) nobody up as early as us

 
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1) wife is not a FBG fan (she pretty much hates this place and my fake internet acquaintances)... Not worth any headaches... 

meh, here you go, she can't even complain about this 

Actually, on second thought

2) nobody up as early as us
you must have added something and then edited it out? 

understood about the wife. 

i know nothing about the swinger lifestyle, but i assume they keep some late hours. 

too bad your thread got axed.must have been because somebody (not you) threw a tantrum in it. 

 
you must have added something and then edited it out? 

understood about the wife. 

i know nothing about the swinger lifestyle, but i assume they keep some late hours. 

too bad your thread got axed.must have been because somebody (not you) threw a tantrum in it. 
TBH, first night was the wildest - these people were so messed up. Tues/Wed the wife was out cold early - Thurs this other couple had a serious domestic dispute (which made it uncomfortable for us and the other couple in the house) & weather gonna be #### tomorrow, so we left earlier today.

This one couple is into some interesting ####, but I didn't find out much - woman is early 40's, pretty attractive, and a high school teacher. Teachers, I just don't get it.

 
Conanthecontrarian said:
If he is severely depressed, we aren't just talking about somebody feeling down in the dumps for a day or two. He could be doing "nothing with his life" because he is miserable. 

Your suggestions for activities to try to rejoin society are well meaning. But,to a severely depressed person,they sound as simple as taking a trip to the moon. 

I'm not sure what help is needed here, but at a minimum a mental health professional needs to be seen. There could be a chemical imbalance involved and medication may be required. 
My thought exactly.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
And?

You've said repeatedly that you want a family, you want the love of a good woman, you want to be a dad.  You want to kick booze/drugs, right?  Where's the downside?
This is potentially some of the worst advice that I've ever seen in this crazy forum.  A dude that has shown terribly fiscal responsibility to the point where he's thinking about selling plasma to make rent,  that has obvious alcoholic tendencies, has issues with drugs, and is obviously in need of some sort of professional mental help--and you are endorsing him to invite a woman and a child in this situation? I understand you wanting to act as some sort of FFA mentor here--but I think you are enabling some really bad decisions.  You wanted to celebrate him having unprotected sex earlier in this thread--which is the last thing that somebody in his current situation should be doing.  Nobody that can't support themselves should remotely consider having kids or acting in a reckless manner that could result in pregnancy.  Nobody that can't control their alcohol or drug abuse should ever consider having kids until they are fully cleared of the habit.   I don't even want to get into the disturbing suicide stances that he has mentioned in this thread.   

Rok--seriously man-do one of two things.  Either get professional help and conquer all of your demons.   Once you do so--you will be far more equipped to be a better husband and father.   Secondly--if you are unwilling to get professional help--use your addictive behavior for something positive.  Get a second job (even if it's remedial) and fall in love with making money and being successful.  I'm telling you this as a person who has a sister that almost died because of drug abuse.  She hit rock bottom, nearly committed suicide, finally checked into a rehab facility--changed her drug addiction into a working out and church addiction--and now she's a successful mother of two great kids and is married to a wonderful man.   Get yourself right before you invite anything and anybody else into your situation--because that is the opposite of"love".    You need to do one of these two  things before you complicate your situation any further.    I'm going to assume that your situation is real and is not schtick and I do wish you the best. 

 
This is potentially some of the worst advice that I've ever seen in this crazy forum.  A dude that has shown terribly fiscal responsibility to the point where he's thinking about selling plasma to make rent,  that has obvious alcoholic tendencies, has issues with drugs, and is obviously in need of some sort of professional mental help--and you are endorsing him to invite a woman and a child in this situation? I understand you wanting to act as some sort of FFA mentor here--but I think you are enabling some really bad decisions.  You wanted to celebrate him having unprotected sex earlier in this thread--which is the last thing that somebody in his current situation should be doing.  Nobody that can't support themselves should remotely consider having kids or acting in a reckless manner that could result in pregnancy.  Nobody that can't control their alcohol or drug abuse should ever consider having kids until they are fully cleared of the habit.   I don't even want to get into the disturbing suicide stances that he has mentioned in this thread.   

Rok--seriously man-do one of two things.  Either get professional help and conquer all of your demons.   Once you do so--you will be far more equipped to be a better husband and father.   Secondly--if you are unwilling to get professional help--use your addictive behavior for something positive.  Get a second job (even if it's remedial) and fall in love with making money and being successful.  I'm telling you this as a person who has a sister that almost died because of drug abuse.  She hit rock bottom, nearly committed suicide, finally checked into a rehab facility--changed her drug addiction into a working out and church addiction--and now she's a successful mother of two great kids and is married to a wonderful man.   Get yourself right before you invite anything and anybody else into your situation--because that is the opposite of"love".    You need to do one of these two  things before you complicate your situation any further.    I'm going to assume that your situation is real and is not schtick and I do wish you the best. 
People don't realise that he may be actually taking the stupid/sarcastic advice. Dual diagnosis is a different animal, and it's obvious to I believe all of us here he at the very least he is clinically depressed and has addiction issues. Hopefully we'll never get THE post that will lead back to some hot shot fbg person playing with his mind as the cause of further demise.

 
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I guess you guys didn't read the ensuing post I made about 14 seconds later. 
I clearly read it and I clearly read you saying to celebrate him having unprotected sex earlier in the thread. He shouldn't consider marriage or children until his demons are conquered and his mental state stabilizes. You painted love and fatherhood as a utopian situation and in a second post--quickly said--'"oh yeah-of course do these things once you are right and the love is genuine".  That's not how things can and should be presented to him.  He should not even entertain the notions of fatherhood, getting married, having unprotected sex-- until he gets himself remotely right.  Getting himself right and conquering his demons cannot be presented as an after thought--they need to be presented as the ONLY option. Period.  Once again--I admire you trying to help him--and I hope that you do succeed in helping him--but you need to be very careful not to enable him either.  Helping him doesn't always mean you have to give him advice in a manner that's soft and easy to digest. Sometimes you'll need to show him tough love.   Either way--good night and good luck.  

 
OK. I guess there's no room here for levity or humor of any kind. From here on out, you can have the keys. I'll go back to telling dumb stories and d##k and fart jokes. 

 
OK. I guess there's no room here for levity or humor of any kind. From here on out, you can have the keys. I'll go back to telling dumb stories and d##k and fart jokes. 
The chin doesn't take crap from anyone.  

Don'ttease me.

 
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The chin doesn't take crap from anyone.  

Don'ttease me.
I'm not here to be Rok's therapist. I tried to show him a way to be more liked and accepted on this board and tried to get others from dumping on every post he makes. I'd call the endeavor something of a success. He still invites derision at times, often knowingly so, but I think there's been at least something of a mitigation of the pure vitriol I'd seen in the past. 

I've said many times in this thread that he needs professional help, that he needs substance abuse support / counseling, that he needs a viable source of income, etc. Most of it is processed and dismissed. I can't live his life for him, he needs to make his own choices. I'm not going to say the same #### over and over again. He's a grown man. Either he'll get to the point where he realizes this stuff on his own or he won't. 

In any event, as far as this all being a benefit to Rok, I had hoped this thread could be a place where he could feel like he had something of a support network that he seems to lack IRL. I never intended my every post to be taken literally or to be a lecture or life lesson. I was trying to be a buddy, not a psychiatrist. I celebrated the fact that he was lonely and got laid, not the fact that he didn't wrap up. I can't go back in time and put a rubber on him, and even if I could have, I wouldn't because that would be supergay. I'm telling him that a wife and family, which would be contingent on being sober, would be a good thing for him but only if he's doing it for the right reasons and not using people as a means to get where he wants to be. I'm not really interested in having every post I make dissected by a peer review board to determine its merits for or deleterious effects on Rok. This was meant to be a brain dump, not a psych eval.  

I think I've done all I can here. So, now it's time to call the whole thing a limited success and hand the metaphorical keys to JVDesigns. My milieu is recounting the hazy watercolor memories of days spent stumbling around in a miasma of alcohol fumes, not giving practical life advice. So, I'll pop in with my occasional pithy witticisms, but will leave the heavy lifting to others from here on out. 

Yours In Satan, 

EG

 
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I'm not here to be Rok's therapist. I tried to show him a way to be more liked and accepted on this board and tried to get others from dumping on every post he makes. I'd call the endeavor something of a success. He still invites derision at times, often knowingly so, but I think there's been at least something of a mitigation of the pure vitriol I'd seen in the past. 

I've said many times in this thread that he needs professional help, that he needs substance abuse support / counseling, that he needs a viable source of income, etc. Most of it is processed and dismissed. I can't live his life for him, he needs to make his own choices. I'm not going to say the same #### over and over again. He's a grown man. Either he'll get to the point where he realizes this stuff on his own or he won't. 

In any event, as far as this all being a benefit to Rok, I had hoped this thread could be a place where he could feel like he had something of a support network that he seems to lack IRL. I never intended my every post to be taken literally or to be a lecture or life lesson. I was trying to be a buddy, not a psychiatrist. I celebrated the fact that he was lonely and got laid, not the fact that he didn't wrap up. I can't go back in time and put a rubber on him, and even if I could have, I wouldn't because that would be supergay. I'm telling him that a wife and family, which would be contingent on being sober, would be a good thing for him but only if he's doing it for the right reasons and not using people as a means to get where he wants to be. I'm not really interested in having every post I make dissected by a peer review board to determine its merits for or deleterious effects on Rok. This was meant to be a brain dump, not a psych eval.  

I think I've done all I can here. So, now it's time to call the whole thing a limited success and hand the metaphorical keys to JVDesigns. My milieu is recounting the hazy watercolor memories of days spent stumbling around in a miasma of alcohol fumes, not giving practical life advice. So, I'll pop in with my occasional pithy witticisms, but will leave the heavy lifting to others from here on out. 

Yours In Satan, 

EG
I didn't dismiss anything. I don't have health insurance.

 
I'm not here to be Rok's therapist. I tried to show him a way to be more liked and accepted on this board and tried to get others from dumping on every post he makes. I'd call the endeavor something of a success. He still invites derision at times, often knowingly so, but I think there's been at least something of a mitigation of the pure vitriol I'd seen in the past. 

I've said many times in this thread that he needs professional help, that he needs substance abuse support / counseling, that he needs a viable source of income, etc. Most of it is processed and dismissed. I can't live his life for him, he needs to make his own choices. I'm not going to say the same #### over and over again. He's a grown man. Either he'll get to the point where he realizes this stuff on his own or he won't. 

In any event, as far as this all being a benefit to Rok, I had hoped this thread could be a place where he could feel like he had something of a support network that he seems to lack IRL. I never intended my every post to be taken literally or to be a lecture or life lesson. I was trying to be a buddy, not a psychiatrist. I celebrated the fact that he was lonely and got laid, not the fact that he didn't wrap up. I can't go back in time and put a rubber on him, and even if I could have, I wouldn't because that would be supergay. I'm telling him that a wife and family, which would be contingent on being sober, would be a good thing for him but only if he's doing it for the right reasons and not using people as a means to get where he wants to be. I'm not really interested in having every post I make dissected by a peer review board to determine its merits for or deleterious effects on Rok. This was meant to be a brain dump, not a psych eval.  

I think I've done all I can here. So, now it's time to call the whole thing a limited success and hand the metaphorical keys to JVDesigns. My milieu is recounting the hazy watercolor memories of days spent stumbling around in a miasma of alcohol fumes, not giving practical life advice. So, I'll pop in with my occasional pithy witticisms, but will leave the heavy lifting to others from here on out. 

Yours In Satan, 

EG
I certainly did not intend to offend any of your efforts or hard work.  I think you have done an admirable job aside from a comment here or there. I think there are lots of people that are rooting for Rok in the FFA (including myself)--and you are a huge part of that.   I also think that there are clear indications here that Rok needs far more than Internet forum buddies and mentors to help him out.   We are talking about a person that has clearly mentioned suicidal thoughts, has admitted to drunk driving, is having unprotected sex (while at the same time considering selling plasma to cover rent), is battling drug and alcohol abuse---and the list goes on and on.    I think that we all (and especially you) can play a big part in guiding Rok to make right decisions--and act as a support network--but the reality is that the ONLY person that has the metaphorical keys to Rok overcoming his demons and creating a successful future---is ROK.   I nor anybody shouldn't want him thinking anything otherwise.  

There is no internet buddy, there is no "love of his life", or no future "child" that is going to somehow make his problems go away.  With that being said-- he also has the power to grow even more support by actually doing things that encourage more of us to get behind him and his success.  Maybe he goes to AA meetings after work for an entire week and posts here about it--instead of driving drunk and passing out playing video hockey games.  In any case--I apologize if I came across as being abrasive to you or ROK.   Having a close relative that has went down a similar path that is lucky to be alive today makes me see things differently.   If what ROK has mentioned/said in this thread is real and not schtick--this is no laughing or joking matter.  Good luck and goodnight to the both of you.  

 
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Not understanding the animosity and why people think I'm not taking Any advice. Not everyone is capable of just accomplishing any advice they are given.

ive been depressed since I was a kid. Went to several therapists for years when I had Medicaid but the best you can get is 10 minutes a week with an actual shrink. Even less chance of getting any medication you may need.

now I have no insurance. We have a terrible healthcare system that pushes people like me by the wayside. Even if I'm depressed for medical reasons, which I may not be. Some people just never fit in in the world. I was born an artist and more advanced than my peers that I never had friends I could relate too so I've always been lonely. And I was the poor kid

ive made some friends at work and I've gone out with them a couple of times. I've done nice things like buy several round. I'm even planning on starting a band with two guys from work. I gave each of them a guitar as a gift.

i didn't plan the crappy things that have happened lately. Like the single mom. I was developing serious feelings for her but her cooch smelled. What can I do about that? I wasn't intending to hit it and quit it.

ive at least admitted I have a problem with alcohol lately, which is the first step towards getting a hold on it. Never admitted it to myself in the past. I didn't buy any beer tonight. I'm not a #### but when I drink I say a lot of dickish things which I'm not proud of.

my financial situation has improved and I'm doing very well at work. I don't have many options for getting rich in this world. There is nothing I ever wanted to go to school for. The p lay things I'm good at are art, writing, music and acting. That's how I was born and it's very difficult to make a living at them and have a job that's enjoyable. Most traditional jobs don't suit me. I would have no chance of succeeding at something I hate.

i especially don't understand the backlash about me wanting to play organized sports. Even if I sucked at it it's something positive and good for my health.

 
R - good luck with everything but until you stop blaming circumstance or others you'll never get anywhere. 

"We have a terrible healthcare system that pushes people like me by the wayside"

"Some people just never fit in in the world. I was born an artist and more advanced than my peers..."

"I don't have many options for getting rich in this world. "

"Most traditional jobs don't suit me. I would have no chance of succeeding at something I hate."

All of those comments are either blaming someone else or show an unwillingness to accept adulthood.  Step 1 is accepting responsibility. 
 
Rok, seriously, have you considered a week in the Hamptons? You'll feel very refreshed by the time you leave. Prob good to clear your head and relax. I can recommend a few leasing agents for you, if you need.

Only major negative I see from this  is they don't have any Parnera's out there.

 
This thread has been a complete waste of time. Still the same BS answers from average people that don't have a clue what it's like to be born like me. Its as much a waste of time trying to interact with people today as it was over 20 years ago. I'm not doing it anymore. This is my last post.

 
This thread has been a complete waste of time. Still the same BS answers from average people that don't have a clue what it's like to be born like me. Its as much a waste of time trying to interact with people today as it was over 20 years ago. I'm not doing it anymore. This is my last post.
There are so many people in this world that would love to have what you have right here. A place to vent and bring up problems and people that are willing to listen and actually try and help you. Yet all you do is #### on them and look down on them. Goodbye! You can delete your own thread, btw. HTH

 
This thread has been a complete waste of time. Still the same BS answers from average people that don't have a clue what it's like to be born like me. Its as much a waste of time trying to interact with people today as it was over 20 years ago. I'm not doing it anymore. This is my last post.
Poor RNR, my heart weeps for him. I started a thread about something people would actually like to hear about, yet 5 of the first 10 posts are him trying to muck it up (even after I had intentionally avoided this train wreck for 50 pages). Someone who never has and clearly never will take responsibility for his own actions. 

My only hope is he doesn't hurt someone innocent (that has worked hard to achieve something in life) with his actions such as driving drunk which is an activity he has discussed openly in this thread. 

As jamny mentioned, you can delete the thread yourself. 

Although 

This is my last post.
Seen this one from you on numerous occasions before. 

 
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This thread has been a complete waste of time. Still the same BS answers from average people that don't have a clue what it's like to be born like me. Its as much a waste of time trying to interact with people today as it was over 20 years ago. I'm not doing it anymore. This is my last post.
Drama queen

 

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