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So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (1 Viewer)

RokNRole said:
First of all I would never use a generic name like "Giants fan" or any variation. I'm much more creative that that.

Second I've never been a member of FFT. And if I was bipolar why would I have trouble admitting it after everything else I've admitted on here? It's certainly likely I am bipolar but I've never been diagnosed as such or been given medication for it.
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Have you contacted anyone on the links I provided you last night? Nap time for me so I hope to see a yes when I wake up. Arguing with us isn't going to help you. Bottom line is you need serious help. Call for it, now.

 
CurlyNight said:
If you really do work in the mental health care field like it appears you do from your posts in the suicide thread, then you above all should know you can't give a dx without meeting the person, in person. If this is what you do as a mental health provider, go by one's postings and aliai on a message board to make a determination, then wow. Plenty of people are misdiagnosed even by the best of providers because it's not that simple and many times it doesn't fall into just 1 thing but a mix. That's why it's hard to figure meds and then if it works...
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The mental health care field is half the reason so many are sick. drugs; excuses; tepid, transitive diagnoses, inadequate scientific modeling & method, greater vestment in customers than cures. I was in it for a decade a long time ago, have never pretended to be a professional in these pages. You care, Curly, and the world needs care at every level which is why i dont argue with you, but we agree on very little as regards outlook & technique. I offer people counsel of a different kind here, some take it, havent had a complaint yet. I thank my decade as a professional poker player more than my decade as outreach director/psychtech for my ability to diagnose with limited information and the people here i've helped know how precise i am and that's all i care about. 

 
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RokNRole said:
No need to go on. I don't think I have any you already listed.

Since as long as I could remember I lived in fear. Fear from my parents. Fear of poverty and homelessness. Fear of teachers and other students. There was violence and insecurity at home. Violence at school and the playground because of my Tourette syndrome.

By the time I hit puberty it became apparent to me that I was a loser among my peers. Those that did spend time with me only did so because I was willing to humiliate myself further for a laugh. I was just something to be kicked around for further amusement.

By the time I was 15 I dropped out of school and hid in my home. Sometimes not ever going outside for weeks at a time, only occupying my mind with music, books and video games. I was afraid of society and I tried to pretend it didn't exist. When I was kicked out on my own at 18 I had no idea how to take care of myself. I turned to alcohol and drugs to cope.

Now at 33 I don't feel I Have learned as much as I should. I still live every day in fear and I get by pretending to be someone else. I learned how to make people laugh without having to humiliate myself. Sometimes I can even charm people and they want to interact with me but once I go home I'm scared and sad again.

Im not a man by anyone's standards. I'm an undesirable to society. Nobody sees me as a real friend. Almost no women sees me as a serious potential mate. I don't blame them. I'm a loser and a nobody. The talents I possess were wasted on me.

Its too late for me to be a man.
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In your case it is not too late.  It is not too late in anybody's case.  Start by losing the self-pity thing. If you have learned anything from the arts, the music you listen to, the books you read, the movies you watch it is that all of us have doubts, anxieties and insecurities, they exist to makes us understand our shared humanity even when the artist themselves may not yet recognize that truth..  You think yours are more extreme or more special, they are not.  Get over yourself.

To aid in losing the self-pity you need to make an act of will and to be temperate.  No intoxication for you.  Not for some time at least.  Start with a second, a minute, a day.  Each is a victory you can build upon, an achievement, and achievement begets achievement.  (BTW taking a step back is not utter failure condemning you to the bowels of oblivion, it is simply not an achievement, get back on the achievement train the very next moment.)  Will is like a muscle, you develop it by exercising it, first in small matters and then increasingly.

Practice honesty.  It is disarming since it is rare (Not brutal honesty, just honesty).  You will also not be exhausted from trying to remember your lies.

This is a start, this readily dismissed drug store advice.  If you actually take it you would be well started on the path to change and healing by Labor Day.  If not, if you chose in your own comfortable self-indulgence to revert to your self destructive patterns come Labor Day we will simple have gone around your cycle yet again.

 
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Haven't seen it mentioned -- the bagel breakfast sandwiches at Paneera are pretty damn good. I go with the bacon egg & cheese on an everything bagel. Their coffee is pretty high quality too. If you're in the south with no NY-style deli, this is about the best you can get for a breakfast sammy. 

 
RokNRole said:
I'm not going to be accused of being someone I'm not by this POS
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Why not?  What could it possibly matter?  This is an insignificant externality yet you invite it in, harbor it, mull it over and then let it animate a response.  Seems an exhausting process when you could simply chose to not care about such things.  Perhaps you could redirect some of your arrogance about your I.Q.  (I know, I know you are not being arrogant you are sharing the burden) to the healthy arrogance of not caring that a stranger may not understand you.

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
In your case it is not too late.  It is not too late in anybody's case.  Start by losing the self-pity thing. If you have learned anything from the arts, the music you listen to, the books you read, the movies you watch it is that all of us have doubts, anxieties and insecurities.  You think yours are more extreme or more special, they are not.  Get over yourself.

To aid in losing the self-pity you need to make an act of will and to be temperate.  No intoxication for you.  Not for some time at least.  Start with a second, a minute, a day.  Each is a victory you can build upon, an achievement, and achievement begets achievement.  (BTW taking a step back is not utter failure condemning you to the bowels of oblivion, it is simply not an achievement, get back on the achievement train the very next moment.)  Will is like a muscle, you develop it by exercising it, first in small matters and then increasingly.

Practice honesty.  It is disarming since it is rare (Not brutal honesty, just honesty).  You will also not be exhausted from trying to remember your lies.

This is a start, this readily dismissed drug store advice.  If you actually take it you would be well started on the path to change and healing by Labor Day.  If not, if you chose in your own comfortable self-indulgence to revert to your self destructive patterns come Labor Day we will simple have gone around your cycle yet again.
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This, RoknRole. this. 1000x this.

someone just handed you the keys to the kingdom. Keys that were obviously hard-won through effort and passing through the dark night of the soul on their own and emerging, victorious (if it can be called that.) 

now, ask yourself if you're a smart enough pupil to recognize the teachings. Because, if you're not- it's always going to be too late. 

 
I've been thinking heavily of going to an AA meeting. I think in a week or two I'll find the strength to do it.

I want to make some friends that don't drink.

 
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As painful as this might be to hear, all of your problems cannot be solved on a fantasy football website.

There are plenty of intelligent people here but also very mean spirited. There's no magic advice anyone here can give you.

First step to improving your life is to stop spending every day talking about your problems on a fantasy football website.

Go away and do something. Come back with success stories. You'll feel better and be better respected if you do.

Right now, you're just putting on a show. Which is fine for us but not for you.

 
Eminence said:
As painful as this might be to hear, all of your problems cannot be solved on a fantasy football website.

There are plenty of intelligent people here but also very mean spirited. There's no magic advice anyone here can give you.

First step to improving your life is to stop spending every day talking about your problems on a fantasy football website.

Go away and do something. Come back with success stories. You'll feel better and be better respected if you do.

Right now, you're just putting on a show. Which is fine for us but not for you.
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:lmao:

 
Eminence said:
As painful as this might be to hear, all of your problems cannot be solved on a fantasy football website.

There are plenty of intelligent people here but also very mean spirited. There's no magic advice anyone here can give you.

First step to improving your life is to stop spending every day talking about your problems on a fantasy football website.

Go away and do something. Come back with success stories. You'll feel better and be better respected if you do.

Right now, you're just putting on a show. Which is fine for us but not for you.
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I'm aware of that but right now this is my only connection with the world. Good or bad. It's often the only thing keeping me alive. Without this board I would be talking to myself.

I don't mind the negativity because there is still a person behind it and that can be motivating. I know it's pathetic but it's something. I think most people don't understand what is is to have nobody in your real life.

 
RokNRole said:
I've been thinking heavily of going to an AA meeting. I think in a week or two I'll find the strength to do it.

I want to make some friends that don't drink.
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This is a good impulse, but maybe do it even without strength. You may find out you are stronger than you think and by exceeding your own expectations that you grow stronger yet.

 
RokNRole said:
Im not strong that's for sure
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Who knows what reservoirs of strength you might find if you begin with a small act of will.  I believe that you can make the effort to attend a meeting.  I also do not believe it is important that you accept their message or not.  It is important that you go to see that there is one method out there, and then to understand that there are others as well. (Experiential understanding is different than intellectual understanding so do not presume what you will find, rather actually find it.) What you will get is two-fold. Additional strength from exercising will, and a renewed appreciation that you are not alone in your circumstances and path.

 
ClownCausedChaos2 said:
Can we just wrap this up and disperse? There's damn near 70 pages of good advice in here.  It's all just lather, rinse, repeat at this point.
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Whoa whoa whoa, let's pump the breaks a little bit. I've learned a lot about Panera and the assorted off the menu hacks and tricks. That alone makes this thread worthwhile. Sometimes you have to read between the bread bowls to get the real flavor.

 
ChiefD said:
Whoa whoa whoa, let's pump the breaks a little bit. I've learned a lot about Panera and the assorted off the menu hacks and tricks. That alone makes this thread worthwhile. Sometimes you have to read between the bread bowls to get the real flavor.
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Why just bread bowls?  Perhaps they should explore other crockery and maybe even utensil options made from bread.  Perhaps a bread plate or gravy boat.  Perhaps a bread spoon or ladle. Time to think outside the breadbox.

 
You are not the first to tarry on life's journey.  Not the first to have followed some dark or thorny paths.  Not the first to have stared into the abyss or to have heard the winds howl.  The fact is that many, even most have.  There is no shame in one path over the other.  There is always the option to select a new route.  The past may influence one's directions, but it is not in complete mastery of your next choices, our next path. 

 
"All Along The Watchtower"
 

"There must be some kind of way out of here,"
Said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion.
I can't get no relief.

Businessmen – they drink my wine,
Plowmen dig my earth.
None will level on the line,
Nobody of it is worth.
Hey!"

"No reason to get excited,"
The thief – he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us
Who feel that life is but a joke.

But you and I – we've been through that.
And this is not our fate.
So let us not talk falsely now.
The hour's getting late.
Hey!"

All along the watchtower
Princes kept the view
While all the women came and went.
Barefoot servants too.

Outside in the cold distance
A wildcat did prowl.
Two riders were approaching,
And the wind began to howl, hey.

All along the watchtower
All along the watchtower

 
wikkidpissah said:
You put the boom boom into my heart,
You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts.
Jitterbug into my brain,
Goes bang bang bang till my feet do the same.

But something's bugging me
Something ain't right
My best friend told me
Where you were last night.

Left me sleeping
In my bed.
I was dreaming
But I should've been with you instead.

Wake me up before you go go,
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.
Wake me up before you go go,
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go,
'Cause I'm not planning on going solo.
Wake me up before you go go,
Take me dancing tonight.
I want to hit that high

You get the gray skies outta my way,
You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day.
Turn a mere spark into a flame,
My beats per minute never been the same.

'Cause you're my lady,
I'm your fool.
Makes me crazy
When you act so cruel.

C'mon baby,
Let's not fight.
We'll go dancing
And everything will be alright.

Wake me up before you go go,
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.
Wake me up before you go go,
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go,
'Cause I'm not planning on going solo.
Wake me up before you go go,
Take me dancing tonight.
I want to hit that high

Cuddle up baby,
Move in tight.
We'll go dancing tomorrow night.

It's cold out there
But it's warm in bed.
They can dance,
We'll stay home instead.
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Always think of this whenever I hear, or in this case, read this song.

 
one thing they taught me when i was feeling down is to make your bed when you wake up that way before you even get to the next room you have already accomplished its small i know but hey man i always feel better when i pile success on top of success take that to the bank

 
RokNRole said:
I'm aware of that but right now this is my only connection with the world. Good or bad. It's often the only thing keeping me alive. Without this board I would be talking to myself.

I don't mind the negativity because there is still a person behind it and that can be motivating. I know it's pathetic but it's something. I think most people don't understand what is is to have nobody in your real life.
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Get out and meet people. Sign up for a free class. Any class.

On reddit they have local meet ups. Be yourself, don't put on an act as that will only add more stress to keep up the charade. You will find people who like you for you.

 
SWC said:
one thing they taught me when i was feeling down is to make your bed when you wake up that way before you even get to the next room you have already accomplished its small i know but hey man i always feel better when i pile success on top of success take that to the bank
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If I spent time doing this, I'd probably accomplish crapping myself before I got to the next room too. #morningpooper

 
I had a corned beef on rye today that many have said to be life changing.  Have you tried one yet?

 
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Point of fact: it's no longer "severely mentally ill," it's "serious mental illness."  It's message framing.  Similar as changing "substance abusers" to "substance users."  The whole idea is to separate the issue in question from the individual, as the reverse often leads to stigmatization.   

 
I haven't actually acted on any of the advice yet but I'm thinking about the options intensely. I still feel too weak to seek help in this current medical climate.

I did reach out to some old lost loves from my past to get closure. Did a lot of crying. And now I'm trying to get closure to the love I do have.

 
I'm a damn fool. I realize that. I'm not proud of it but in a way I'm happy I realize it.

Ive left nothing but pain in my wake.

 
I've finally done it. I hit rock bottom.

I hit on a chick I work with and it got around and everyone at work hates my guts.

 
RokNRole said:
I've finally done it. I hit rock bottom.

I hit on a chick I work with and it got around and everyone at work hates my guts.
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Why would everyone hate you for hitting on someone.  That's de rigeur in the hospitality industry.

You probably should be looking for a job with benefits anyway so you can get some medical insurance.  Hold on to this one in the meantime, though.  #### 'em if they're going to be bent at you for trying to snag some trim.  Bunch of hypocrites.

 
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