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So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (2 Viewers)

RokNRole said:
In all seriousness allow me to clarify. I was not putting her down nor is anything wrong with her that she couldn't attract a regular guy that isn't a mess. She understood what I meant because she dated regular men and found them shallow and uninteresting, as did I when I dated other women, and we always came back to eachother. We both feel the same way about society and people.

It wasn't an insult and she didn't take it that way. We had that conversation several times in our relationship and because we both have weird standards and quirks we often come to the conclusion that we belong together because nobody else makes either of us happy.

We balance eachother very well.
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In the end if you're both happy, rok on.

Otis said:
PS I was never in a fraternity :kicksrock:  
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You're basically an officer in Feta-Beta-Gamma.

 
Henry Ford said:
I really don't.  I just enjoy having sex, and speaking ill of someone who has sex with you is pretty much a neon sign that says "don't have sex with me."

There is a promise in shared sweat.  If it isn't "I won't treat you like you're worthless" I don't know what it is. 
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I have women beg me to treat them like they're worthless

 
Is this the same guy who did the blue magic thing a couple years ago?  Who I think also was another dude who used to post "I'm a loser" videos?  So hard to keep up nowadays. 

 
RokNRole said:
We broke up several times for various reasons. Sometimes I decided I wanted to have a family one day or we weren't getting along and fighting over something stupid. We always stayed friends and after a month or two get back together.
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I really hope it works out for you, Jason. They say you need to love yourself before you can truly be in love with another. It's true. I'm sure some of your issues with your girl have had to do with your underlying mental illness and alcoholism that remains untreated. Hence the back and forth, up and down. People without such issues have problems in their relationships, much less adding co-dependency into the complex equation that is relationships. But as we've said so many time over in here, you have the keys to seek treatment. If you give the word that you are ready, I will research more what's in your area for you. The first step you've already accomplished by recognising you have the problems that you do. Next is to take that step, and I'll take it with you when you are ready. Have a good night, Jason.

 
Henry Ford said:
I really don't.  I just enjoy having sex, and speaking ill of someone who has sex with you is pretty much a neon sign that says "don't have sex with me."

There is a promise in shared sweat.  If it isn't "I won't treat you like you're worthless" I don't know what it is. 
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She's not worthless to me. I just can't be with a woman that isn't hygienic. It's kind of a big deal.

 
RokNRole said:
She's not worthless to me. I just can't be with a woman that isn't hygienic. It's kind of a big deal.
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I don't have an issue with and have not even brought up breaking up with her. 

Side note: if you're considering marrying someone, maybe bring up the fact that you want her to wash herself better and see how she reacts rather than just break up with her. 

 
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Henry Ford said:
I don't have an issue with and have not even brought up breaking up with her. 

Side note: if you're considering marrying someone, maybe bring up the fact that you want her to wash herself better and see how she reacts rather than just break up with her. 
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I was honest with her. She got upset and stopped talking to me. I was willing to give it another go and see if the problem was fixed.

 
CurlyNight said:
I really hope it works out for you, Jason. They say you need to love yourself before you can truly be in love with another. It's true. I'm sure some of your issues with your girl have had to do with your underlying mental illness and alcoholism that remains untreated. Hence the back and forth, up and down. People without such issues have problems in their relationships, much less adding co-dependency into the complex equation that is relationships. But as we've said so many time over in here, you have the keys to seek treatment. If you give the word that you are ready, I will research more what's in your area for you. The first step you've already accomplished by recognising you have the problems that you do. Next is to take that step, and I'll take it with you when you are ready. Have a good night, Jason.
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Truth is I probably won't ever be comfortable with treatment or socializing like a normal person. I've stopped using alcohol and narcotics on my own in the past and I feel like I will again. I'm still drinking but regretting it more and more every day and I think the day is coming soon where I will get fed up and stop.

I haven't just accepted that I have a substance problem. I'm starting to accept that I probably will never fit in the world as others do and my best option for success is to become a writer. Ideally with my lady because she's the only person I trust.

Maybe I do have BPD but that's not comprehensive. Treatment will probably be useless because I'm too smart to listen to anyone else. I have to do it on my own. Not get well, because after a lifetime of trauma that's impossible, but adjust and use the trauma in a positive way.

 
I'm starting to think that the best thing I can do is accept that I'm not really a good person.

Im a terrible person. I may have BPD but for years I've been seeing the signs that I'm a sociopath. I manipulate everyone around me as best I can to get what I want. I don't even realize I do it until after I do it . Maybe I was born with it or maybe I learned it from my upbringing but I do it. It's only when I drink that I feel remorse.

I have violent and frankly crazy thoughts which I could never act on but I am full of so much hate. I judge everyone I encounter based on very little information. I think I'm better than everyone. I think I'm the greatest person that ever lived. Sometimes I feel like doing good deeds, sometimes I do them but it's only because I want to feel better about myself or have someone owe me a favor in the future.

Im starting to see that most people probably see through that facade more than I give them credit for. I do nice things because I want people to think " he's a nice guy" not because I feel good about doing them. When I spoke to my old bandmate that told me I probably have BPD I also told him I suspect I'm a sociopath or psychopath. I told him my true feelings and he told me I'm not a psychopath because psychos don't have remorse or ever wonder if they are doing something wrong but he kind of glossed over the sociopathology and I cut him off going in to my life story.

i cut him off because I didn't want to hear I was a sociopath. I just wanted to hear I wasn't a psychopath and I told my story because I wanted sympathy. Even as I tell the FFA my story I want sympathy and I'm displaying feelings that weren't present when I experienced these things as a child. Everything my parents did I felt very little. Only when I got older and remember them do they make me feel anything because now I'm on the outside looking in at myself.

 
This is not about alcohol or drugs. I'm a sick and polluted person and I only spread misery.

Im 9 beers in to a 12 pack of Heineken. Playing pointless Xbox hockey which I've been doing for months. I'm fat and my skin is bad. My face is dry and breaking out. I'm a fat , nasty, mean ******* with bad skin and barely a pot to pee in. It's pathetic. I'm off tomorrow. I'm not going to drink again after tonight.

 
RokNRole said:
You can't post good music?
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not really.  i'm fairly lame when it comes to music.  music snobs irritate me to no end, i don't care about the hippest or the coolest music.  so, if someone gets all excited about this and that band, i just smile and nod, usually not knowing, or caring, what they're raving on about.  same goes for bands that people hate.  don't really care.  

 
DA RAIDERS said:
not really.  i'm fairly lame when it comes to music.  music snobs irritate me to no end, i don't care about the hippest or the coolest music.  so, if someone gets all excited about this and that band, i just smile and nod, usually not knowing, or caring, what they're raving on about.  same goes for bands that people hate.  don't really care.  
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Do you have to mess up my thread? No better than someone like Otis ? 

ive restricted myself to this thread, upon request . If you can't add to it what are you doing here?

 
Encyclopedia Brown said:
This thread is the Exxon Valdez of threads and any complaints with snarky comments would be like complaining about someone pouring a Slurpee atop ten million gallons of crude oil. 
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I find it ironic you've chosen the name "encyclopedia brown". It's like you are making fun of yourself.

Envoking information but using none of it. A historical event at best to insult another person. That is the extent of what you can comprehend.

 
ok, i'll add to it.

your "woe is me, i'm the worst person ever" schtick is really, really lame.  

get over yourself.  

we all have #### happen to us.  all the time.  a lot of people had #### happen to them when they were younger.  a lot of us have failed.  at a lot of the things we've done.  a lot of us drink too much.  a lot of us have done drugs, some to excess.  some to great excess.  many of us struggle from with one emotion or another, or with many of them.  for some it's sadness, others deal with guilt, or rage, or inadequacy/feeling less than and on and on and on.   your struggle is not a novel concept.  what makes it unique for you, is that it's yours.  i assure you however, that you are not alone in that struggle.  but if if you refuse to listen to those that have walked a similar path and shouldered a similar burden, it's hard to be sympathetic towards you.  

 
DA RAIDERS said:
ok, i'll add to it.

your "woe is me, i'm the worst person ever" schtick is really, really lame.  

get over yourself.  

we all have #### happen to us.  all the time.  a lot of people had #### happen to them when they were younger.  a lot of us have failed.  at a lot of the things we've done.  a lot of us drink too much.  a lot of us have done drugs, some to excess.  some to great excess.  many of us struggle from with one emotion or another, or with many of them.  for some it's sadness, others deal with guilt, or rage, or inadequacy/feeling less than and on and on and on.   your struggle is not a novel concept.  what makes it unique for you, is that it's yours.  i assure you however, that you are not alone in that struggle.  but if if you refuse to listen to those that have walked a similar path and shouldered a similar burden, it's hard to be sympathetic towards you.  
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You take offense to this?

 
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