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So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter RokNRole
- Start date
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
What's doing Rok? How goes the sobriety jag? Still on the wagon?
KCitons
Footballguy
Juxtatarot
Footballguy
I heard "Jane Says" on the radio yesterday and immediately couldn't stop thinking about RnR's mom. I think that song might be ruined for me now.
Osaurus
Footballguy
Galileo
Footballguy
ProstheticRGK
Footballguy
It's not easy being Bukowski. I tried for about six months, right after getting out of the Army. I had the drinking part down cold. The writing part? Not so much.
"It takes endurance to be a drunk." -Hank Chinaski from Barfly.
I stopped posting last Sunday with the intention of returning tomorrow after a week of sobriety. I made it 2 nights as usual and drank again.
On the third day I listed the pros and cons of my life. There were no pros. As I sit in my tomb I realize I have been brought to Texas to die. Wagons are for people. There are no wagons in my life. Only the wanderer on foot towards oblivion.
I began writing my sci-fi novel and found my writing style does not translate to that genre. I now feel my death rattle is to adapt a comic idea I had about a Vigilante that experiences a psychotic break from reality.
I will post the the first chapter when it is complete. Perhaps 2 days, or two months. Time will tell.
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
Juxtatarot
Footballguy
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Realize or misinterpret?
Stop with the shotgun talk, please. Talk about your ex/fiancee. What's going on with that?
The Kerminator
Footballguy
She's back pedaling on that. She's pretty intent on moving to Europe which will not be possible for me to do.
I explained the fiancé in the previous comment.
I am staying out of my sister and my nieces lives for their sake.
The Kerminator
Footballguy
Well, you asked for pros. I listed 3. OK, so the fiancee is out. You still have two left. And I understand you are staying out of their lives for their sake but use it as motivation to get yourself turned around and get back in their lives.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Baloney Sandwich
Footballguy
I still say we go through with the bachelor party in New Orleans, perhaps we just call it a bachelor for life party.
Baloney Sandwich
Footballguy
It might just be what you need to snap you out of your current doldrums. A bunch of random FBGs, McClure's BBQ, Bourbon & Bourbon Street, Strippers,Skanks and Ether.
The Kerminator
Footballguy
I'm not sure what to write about
Choice A- A multi book sci fi epic (probably not suitable until later if I manage a writing career)
choice B- an adapted comic idea of a vigilante that experiences a psychotic break with reality an orchestrated everything as the hero and villain.
Choice C- my life story. ( extremely depressing so I thought about writing choice B with myself as the main character)
Choice A- A multi book sci fi epic (probably not suitable until later if I manage a writing career)
choice B- an adapted comic idea of a vigilante that experiences a psychotic break with reality an orchestrated everything as the hero and villain.
Choice C- my life story. ( extremely depressing so I thought about writing choice B with myself as the main character)
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Choice B sounds good. 
Not that I've ever had a psychotic fantasy of being a vigilante. At least no more than anyone that likes comics. It just seems to make the most sense to write that character from my point of view because I'm experiencing a psychotic break from reality.
Its all so complicated.
Its all so complicated.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Writing helps. I blog about my cancer stuff and other stuff. It helps to get it out even if just for myself. You'd be adding what you're going through in with a creative story. I think it's a great idea.
I wish I had cancer. Then nobody could blame me for being ill. When you are mentally ill everyone thinks it's your fault so you only get worse.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Actually you'd be surprised. Some uninformed people do blame the person for getting cancer. You got it because you don't have a good diet, you don't exercise.. but I will tell you that there are plenty of vegans and marathon runners who are stage IV. That's why there is no cure because it's a crap shoot. There is no rhyme or reason why someone who does everything "right" gets it and someone who does everything "wrong" doesn't.
As for mental illness, I don't see how anyone would put blame on you, especially with your background. So don't put blame on yourself for that. Good news is there is treatment, when you are ready..
Doctors don't blame cancer patients. They do blame the mentally ill as drug seekers. On Medicaid I had different doctors every few months. Most wouldn't continue my ambien prescription even though I had no side effects and it helped me sleep.
When you are mentally ill your family scorns you as a polluted mistake. Every day I wish I had a physical cancer so they would finally love me.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Ambien isn't given long term to anyone because it is addictive. Many won't rx you drugs if you have addiction issues already unless you are seeking treatment at the same time because it'd just feed into the addiction issue that's already there. That's why they have programs for dual diagnosis, which is people who have a mental illness and a drug/alcohol addiction. Treating both at the same time is the best. That's the real solution is to get you sober, in treatment and on meds to help with your MI.
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