Standing and wiping? (1 Viewer)

[ChiefD]

We have a a new guy at work who is apparently a stand up wiper. Dude leaves shrapnel all over the toilet seat - TP crumbs, pubes, the works.

Awesome. 

 

[(HULK)]

We have a a new guy at work who is apparently a stand up wiper. Dude leaves shrapnel all over the toilet seat - TP crumbs, pubes, the works.

Awesome. 

Well, that's just poor form.

 

[ChiefD]

Well, that's just poor form.

Yeah, we've been having a discussion here on the best way to tell him he's a slob. Right now, we are thinking of a sign for the bathroom with proper bathroom procedures. Something like:

1. Wash Hands.

2. Spray.

3. Leave Fan On.

4. Check Toilet Seat For Shrapnel.

Our office is small, so it's a private bathroom. 

 

[Osaurus]

I can only achieve maximum cleanliness with a hot wash rag.   I get some super cheap ones, and throw them away after one use.  I have a pretty huge supply at work and home.  It's by far the most expensive way to wipe (unless you hire a wiping maid), but other than using Vaseline on your bum or something to avoid sticking, I can't get 100% clean without hot water and a vigorous scrub... the stupid wet wipes are worthless to me.

Mark Mangino alias?

 

[FUBAR]

We have a a new guy at work who is apparently a stand up wiper. Dude leaves shrapnel all over the toilet seat - TP crumbs, pubes, the works.

Awesome. 

  what the hell is he doing in there?

 

[dino259]

Do you wipe the toilet seat down before making your own deposit?

At work, do you replace the empty roll with the new roll?  assuming normal size roll and not the gigantor roll.

 

[Dentist]

I remember that thread but forgot who it was. Was it you who claimed at one time you left the used washcloths in the shower for the housekeeper to collect and wash?

housekeeper?  who do you think I am, a multi-millionaire?

 

[ChiefD]

  what the hell is he doing in there?

Good question. And the worse part is, his routine is always early in the morning. So the second guy in gets to see all the carnage. Thank God we have an extra toilet here, but it's near a common area, so not as much sound cover in case a guy has a sound effect shi.t.

Edit to add: This could easily be a Friday thread. So many layers to this story.

 

[mr. furley]

Yes, this has been covered.

And no, stand wipers do not stand straight up. It's a bent-kneed hover or crouch. ### 6" to a foot or so off the rim, depending on height & technique. 

I have no interest in wiping my ### while still attached to the bowl, like the majority of you. 

better to practice wiping while seated now instead of trying to master it when your knees start getting shaky and unable to sustain that crouch

 

[ShamrockPride]

Yeah, we've been having a discussion here on the best way to tell him he's a slob. Right now, we are thinking of a sign for the bathroom with proper bathroom procedures. Something like:

1. Wash Hands.

2. Spray.

3. Leave Fan On.

4. Check Toilet Seat For Shrapnel.

Our office is small, so it's a private bathroom. 

Situation reminds me of the @NutterButter thread a few months ago where he had a smelly co-worker.

 

[AAABatteries]

Seated wiper - slight lean to the left.  I didn't realize this was so difficult for some of you.  

 

[Jayrod]

I had a roommate who was a stander.  He was 6'6".  I'm 6'2" and I'm a good, Christian, sitting wiper.  I think it is a height thing.

I lean left and a little forward, reach behind with the paper and examine for effectiveness.  Repeat using differing directions until complete.  A standard wipe is 3 rounds.  Sometimes more, sometimes only 2 (but I can never stop at 1).

 

[Van Dyman]

Don't any of you have a bidet?

Spent 10 extra minutes in the comments section.  Lesson:  Trolls, like bathroom humor, are universal.

 

[Van Dyman]

We have a a new guy at work who is apparently a stand up wiper. Dude leaves shrapnel all over the toilet seat - TP crumbs, pubes, the works.

Awesome. 

Just pull him to the side privately one day and say "Please, just crap in your underwear and throw them into the ceiling tiles.  Like a normal person."

 

[mr roboto]

I use a combination, a few wipes sitting down, then the stand and squat wipe to ensure everything is taken care of.

This. Except my stand-and-squat wipe is done using a wet wipe. #squekycleanballoonknot

 

[mr roboto]

I can only achieve maximum cleanliness with a hot wash rag.   I get some super cheap ones, and throw them away after one use.  I have a pretty huge supply at work and home.  It's by far the most expensive way to wipe (unless you hire a wiping maid), but other than using Vaseline on your bum or something to avoid sticking, I can't get 100% clean without hot water and a vigorous scrub... the stupid wet wipes are worthless to me.

How ####### hairy is your ### crack?

 

[bueno]

Spent 10 extra minutes in the comments section.  Lesson:  Trolls, like bathroom humor, are universal.

Yeah, some of the comments are epic!

 

[ShamrockPride]

I had a roommate who was a stander.  He was 6'6".  I'm 6'2" and I'm a good, Christian, sitting wiper.  I think it is a height thing.

I lean left and a little forward, reach behind with the paper and examine for effectiveness.  Repeat using differing directions until complete.  A standard wipe is 3 rounds.  Sometimes more, sometimes only 2 (but I can never stop at 1).

This part is always overlooked. So important.

 

[elguapo07]

I grab my kitty by the fat of her neck and give it a good hard swipe to finish the job.  I'd recommend a Maine Coon cat as they have long hair and are docile.

 

[Dentist]

How ####### hairy is your ### crack?

It's gross.

 

[elguapo07]

It's gross.

I shave down there occasionally for general maintenance purposes.  

 

[need2know]

You guys wipe?

 

[Spike]

Just pull him to the side privately one day and say "Please, just crap in your underwear and throw them into the ceiling tiles.  Like a normal person."

I was wondering when Clyde would make an appearance in this thread.