"The Bachelor" on ABC (2 Viewers)

[Mr. Pickles]

Thank you, Joe.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Bring back the mask guy.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Well, maybe you could find a slight ping if you measured it on a logarithmic scale.

Also, the thing with Jackie Gordon could have used a spoiler tag or two. I'm not reading ahead here.

I don't know anything that happens on BP2. This is just stuff that happens after the show ended, apparently.

Either way the tidbit you mentioned about her supposed relationship gives info on the fate of one of the current contestants which (though we may guess) we don't really know yet if we've only been watching the show w/o outside source information. Not a big deal to me, but it will make things even less interesting on the show now.

Oh come on. You thought Ames had a shot?

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Bring back the mask guy.

He's answering questions. Send him some email.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Bring back the mask guy.

He's answering questions. Send him some email.

Can you imagine the lack of fanfare if they brought him back in a shocking twist?

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Bring back the mask guy.

He's answering questions. Send him some email.

Can you imagine the lack of fanfare if they brought him back in a shocking twist?

I can imagine, yes.

 

[Gr00vus]

Well, maybe you could find a slight ping if you measured it on a logarithmic scale.

Also, the thing with Jackie Gordon could have used a spoiler tag or two. I'm not reading ahead here.

I don't know anything that happens on BP2. This is just stuff that happens after the show ended, apparently.

Either way the tidbit you mentioned about her supposed relationship gives info on the fate of one of the current contestants which (though we may guess) we don't really know yet if we've only been watching the show w/o outside source information. Not a big deal to me, but it will make things even less interesting on the show now.

Oh come on. You thought Ames had a shot?

This looks like it'll come down to J.P., Ben and maybe captain Solar. But she's such a moron, you never know, and that's about the only suspenseful/interesting part of this season. I know she's going to lead every segment with some comment about Bentley, I know she's going to cry at least 3 times in each episode, I know they're going to have steak for dinner regardless of what country they're in, I know they're going to have some idiotic competition. The only thing left is seeing which bad decision she makes next in how she handles/chooses her men. Now I know dopey is for sure out of the equation, one less possible point of interest.That said, the promos for the rest of the season seem to promise some quality implosions in the offing.

Also, your write up is more entertaining than any part of the actual show, please don't let my nitpick make you think I'm not loving it.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I know they're going to have steak for dinner regardless of what country they're in

That "strange" meal that Lucas had in Hong Kong was later revealed to be chicken. True story.

 

[ODoyleRules]

I'm happy that she has closure with Bentley though I just wish she could have mentioned that.

I can't wait for next week when Ashley takes a dump on Ryan's head and he apologizes that he didn't bring any toilet paper with him.

I, for one, find that this season is going great, but then again I'm a sucker for insecure girls crying, awkward romantic moments and cheesy sayings.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Someone should watch that episode again and count the number of times she says "forward."

 

[Mr. Pickles]

No new episode on the fourth. Probably for the best.

 

[Otis]

I've been missing out on the blog. Can someone link it up?

This is the most pathetic season of any bachelor-type show ever. Guys storming out, nobody interested in her, she has no confidence and cries every episode. She clearly did not belong on this show. The producers are either idiots or complete geniuses for selecting her in the first place.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Does everyone have sigs turned off?

 

[General Malaise]

Ben must've been waiting on the top floor too because now he's there smooching with Ashley. Nice canary yellow sweater. It looks like he just returned from spirited croquet tournament. When in Hong Kong, dress as the well-heeled British do. It reminds them of their oppressed colonial past. You can't get a 99 year lease on anything these days.

 

[General Malaise]

I missed two other entries as I checked out on the show, but the last one was great (and I watched most of the last episode too).

 

[pantherclub]

Wow this show must have dropped off fast here.

No one wants to comment on Emily coming back? She looks a lot worse then when she was on the show. Like a stepford wife or something. "You know"

 

[honky kong]

Wow this show must have dropped off fast here.

No one wants to comment on Emily coming back? She looks a lot worse then when she was on the show. Like a stepford wife or something. "You know"

I tried but I am apparently not smart enough to use the search function properly.

 

[offdee]

Absolutely no idea why I'm still watching this garbage.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Wow this show must have dropped off fast here. No one wants to comment on Emily coming back? She looks a lot worse then when she was on the show. Like a stepford wife or something. "You know"

I do know.

 

[honky kong]

Wow this show must have dropped off fast here.

No one wants to comment on Emily coming back? She looks a lot worse then when she was on the show. Like a stepford wife or something. "You know"

I do know.

It's been a couple of weeks since we last watched this trainwreck, so Ashley kindly reminds us of all the great traits that the guys have: Constantine has some sweet curls, Ben is great at fermenting things, J.P. winks pretty well, Ames runs on batteries, Ryan is "safe," and Lucas is very Texan.

With Ashley's future husband safe with a rose...

Good work this week. You are a true professional. Well, minus the paycheck anyway.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Current blog income (all-time): $0.11

 

[honky kong]

Current blog income (all-time): $0.11

I stand corrected.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Current blog income (all-time): $0.11

I stand corrected.

Update: $0.12

 

[honky kong]

Current blog income (all-time): $0.11

I stand corrected.

Update: $0.12

I hope you have the good financial sense to put this windfall back into the business.

 

[Zow]

Can I get a link to this blog? TIA

 

[honky kong]

Can I get a link to this blog? TIA

It's in Pickles' sig.

 

[Zow]

Can I get a link to this blog? TIA

It's in Pickles' sig.

Found it, thanks. Picks' definitely can write and he is definitely married. God that's some dedication.

 

[Joe T]

Can I get a link to this blog? TIA

It's in Pickles' sig.

Found it, thanks. Picks' definitely can write and he is definitely married. God that's some dedication.

Tap the brakes wozzow.Not so sure about this.

Did red go to the wedding? I need some sort of confirmation.

 

[honky kong]

Can I get a link to this blog? TIA

It's in Pickles' sig.

Found it, thanks. Picks' definitely can write and he is definitely married. God that's some dedication.

 

[Zow]

Can I get a link to this blog? TIA

It's in Pickles' sig.

Found it, thanks. Picks' definitely can write and he is definitely married. God that's some dedication.

Tap the brakes wozzow.Not so sure about this.

Did red go to the wedding? I need some sort of confirmation.

I could be wrong about this info, but I coulda swore I recall Picks not updating his last Bachelor stuff for like a week because he was getting married. I'm only about 75% confident on this, though. Regardless, I'll give Picks the benefit of the doubt that he isn't some single bum with nothing better to do and simply assume he leads a boring married life were posting about the Bachelor while his wife watches Antique Roadshow. After all, who else would have the time and interest in something like this?

 

[General Malaise]

Can I get a link to this blog? TIA

It's in Pickles' sig.

Found it, thanks. Picks' definitely can write and he is definitely married. God that's some dedication.

Tap the brakes wozzow.Not so sure about this.

Did red go to the wedding? I need some sort of confirmation.

I could be wrong about this info, but I coulda swore I recall Picks not updating his last Bachelor stuff for like a week because he was getting married. I'm only about 75% confident on this, though. Regardless, I'll give Picks the benefit of the doubt that he isn't some single bum with nothing better to do and simply assume he leads a boring married life were posting about the Bachelor while his wife watches Antique Roadshow. After all, who else would have the time and interest in something like this?

We're going with 'Picks' now? Ugh.So this show is so weak on material they had to carve out a 30 minute segment for Emily? Really? That's long enough for ABC to throw in one of its bound for cancellation sitcoms. Did all the writers in Holywood quit or something?

 

[General Malaise]

And I can't listen to Emily for longer than 12 seconds. If Wonderbread could talk, it would sound exactly like Emily. She'd be great....in silent porn.

 

[Guinis72]

Nice recap, as usual, Mr Pickles!

 

[Mr. Pickles]

And I can't listen to Emily for longer than 12 seconds. If Wonderbread could talk, it would sound exactly like Emily. She'd be great....in silent porn.

I wanted to like that segment. I really did. Unfortunately, little Ricki has more backbone.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Can I get a link to this blog? TIA

It's in Pickles' sig.

Found it, thanks. Picks' definitely can write and he is definitely married. God that's some dedication.

Tap the brakes wozzow.Not so sure about this.

Did red go to the wedding? I need some sort of confirmation.

Top five mystery?

 

[krista4]

Pickles, assuming your initial instinct was correct that JP is the "winner" here, any thoughts on which of these schlubs they'll choose as the next Bachelor? Given they have the collective personality of a turnip, I'm afraid they might even go with someone like Ryan who "wants to find love" so badly.

 

[honky kong]

Pickles, assuming your initial instinct was correct that JP is the "winner" here, any thoughts on which of these schlubs they'll choose as the next Bachelor? Given they have the collective personality of a turnip, I'm afraid they might even go with someone like Ryan who "wants to find love" so badly.

Ryan is too weird, so much so he's impossible to relate to. Even they have to realize what a terrible choice that would be. My money would be on Ames. I think after Brad turning out to be a bit of a ####, they go with the nice guy. I'm guessing he has some money too, which is a nice bonus.

 

[krista4]

Pickles, assuming your initial instinct was correct that JP is the "winner" here, any thoughts on which of these schlubs they'll choose as the next Bachelor? Given they have the collective personality of a turnip, I'm afraid they might even go with someone like Ryan who "wants to find love" so badly.

Ryan is too weird, so much so he's impossible to relate to. Even they have to realize what a terrible choice that would be. My money would be on Ames. I think after Brad turning out to be a bit of a ####, they go with the nice guy. I'm guessing he has some money too, which is a nice bonus.

This makes a lot of sense. They could also have fun dressing him in weird outfits all the time.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Pickles, assuming your initial instinct was correct that JP is the "winner" here, any thoughts on which of these schlubs they'll choose as the next Bachelor? Given they have the collective personality of a turnip, I'm afraid they might even go with someone like Ryan who "wants to find love" so badly.

Let's look at the "talent" pool:Constantine: Oh hell no. Ryan: Clearly gay. Ben F.: Too boring. Lucas: Who?Ames: Kitschy enough to pull this off. Gets my vote. Blake: Dental shtick is played. Bentley: ABC is too gutless to pull the trigger. Mickey: Labeled a quitter. Brad Womack: Still available.

 

[krista4]

Pickles, assuming your initial instinct was correct that JP is the "winner" here, any thoughts on which of these schlubs they'll choose as the next Bachelor? Given they have the collective personality of a turnip, I'm afraid they might even go with someone like Ryan who "wants to find love" so badly.

Let's look at the "talent" pool:Ryan: Clearly gay. Brad Womack: Still available.

 

[facook]

I actually tuned into this last night from 9:45 on. Which makes about 18 minutes that I've watched of this season. Emily is Melba-toast. Good night, how could someone actually love that? I mean, lust? Sure. But love? She has the personality of instant mashed potatoes.

Then I caught the "hilarious" "blooper" of that annoying girl and a Cheesecake Factory waiter dragging a huge half-deflated balloon through Chinatown somewhere. They just HAPPENED to decide to sit on a bench and set the balloon in an exact spot so that a trained stray dog could run by and...what?...OMG it's peeing on our love balloon...OMG that's SO FUNNY. Here, let go of my sweaty, awkward hand so I can slap my knee and giggle about this completely random and unplanned event. And then the dog ran back to its trainer for kibble.

If Pickles had a show on ABC at 10:00 in which he read his blog for 7 minutes, it would win an Emmy in juxtaposition with this catastrophe.

 

[EYLive]

And I can't listen to Emily for longer than 12 seconds. If Wonderbread could talk, it would sound exactly like Emily. She'd be great....in silent porn.

I wanted to like that segment. I really did. Unfortunately, little Ricki has more backbone.

She didn't say what the "red flags" were. Was he boning hot locals while she and Ricki were packing for their move? Cuz that's a pretty big red flag.

 

[krista4]

that annoying girl and a Cheesecake Factory waiter

 

[Mr. Pickles]

And I can't listen to Emily for longer than 12 seconds. If Wonderbread could talk, it would sound exactly like Emily. She'd be great....in silent porn.

I wanted to like that segment. I really did. Unfortunately, little Ricki has more backbone.

She didn't say what the "red flags" were. Was he boning hot locals while she and Ricki were packing for their move? Cuz that's a pretty big red flag.

Based on their appearance together, it seems that Brad has a rather unrestrained temper on him. Aggitating him was euphemistically referred to as "poking the bear." Since Emily is made entirely from spun sugar, this clashed with her delicate sensibilities. She's also a hyper-protective single mother with unresolved loss issues, so this was bound to fail no matter what. Brad runs a chain of bars in a college town and Emily preens herself professionally. It wasn't looking too good from the get go.

 

[Zow]

Can I get a link to this blog? TIA

It's in Pickles' sig.

Found it, thanks. Picks' definitely can write and he is definitely married. God that's some dedication.

Tap the brakes wozzow.Not so sure about this.

Did red go to the wedding? I need some sort of confirmation.

I could be wrong about this info, but I coulda swore I recall Picks not updating his last Bachelor stuff for like a week because he was getting married. I'm only about 75% confident on this, though. Regardless, I'll give Picks the benefit of the doubt that he isn't some single bum with nothing better to do and simply assume he leads a boring married life were posting about the Bachelor while his wife watches Antique Roadshow. After all, who else would have the time and interest in something like this?

We're going with 'Picks' now? Ugh.

Yep, I like it.

 

[Joe T]

Pickles, assuming your initial instinct was correct that JP is the "winner" here, any thoughts on which of these schlubs they'll choose as the next Bachelor? Given they have the collective personality of a turnip, I'm afraid they might even go with someone like Ryan who "wants to find love" so badly.

Let's look at the "talent" pool:Constantine: Oh hell no. Ryan: Clearly gay. Ben F.: Too boring. Lucas: Who?Ames: Kitschy enough to pull this off. Gets my vote. Blake: Dental shtick is played. Bentley: ABC is too gutless to pull the trigger. Mickey: Labeled a quitter. Brad Womack: Still available.

Is none of the above an option?Seriously, Ames is an option? This is beyond awful.Can we get to the Bachelor Pad reviews already?

 

[Da Guru]

Pickles, assuming your initial instinct was correct that JP is the "winner" here, any thoughts on which of these schlubs they'll choose as the next Bachelor? Given they have the collective personality of a turnip, I'm afraid they might even go with someone like Ryan who "wants to find love" so badly.

JPs mother will be a huge red flag..should be on the old Housewifes of New Jersey.

 

[Da Guru]

And I can't listen to Emily for longer than 12 seconds. If Wonderbread could talk, it would sound exactly like Emily. She'd be great....in silent porn.

I wanted to like that segment. I really did. Unfortunately, little Ricki has more backbone.

She didn't say what the "red flags" were. Was he boning hot locals while she and Ricki were packing for their move? Cuz that's a pretty big red flag.

Brad is 39 and owns nightclubs in Austin..there is no doubt he has been involved in some freaky after hours sex. Emily is probably way too inhibited for Brad.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

God, Ames is awkward.

 

[pantherclub]

And I can't listen to Emily for longer than 12 seconds. If Wonderbread could talk, it would sound exactly like Emily. She'd be great....in silent porn.

I wanted to like that segment. I really did. Unfortunately, little Ricki has more backbone.

She didn't say what the "red flags" were. Was he boning hot locals while she and Ricki were packing for their move? Cuz that's a pretty big red flag.

Brad is 39 and owns nightclubs in Austin..there is no doubt he has been involved in some freaky after hours sex. Emily is probably way too inhibited for Brad.

Maybe but there is a ton of talk around Charlotte that her personna is just an act. Dale Jr says hey.