The ***OFFICIAL*** Only Child Thread (1 Viewer)

[Long Ball Larry]

EP:  I think you raise a key issue - most neighborhoods today aren't like they were in the past.  Kids are loaded up with activities, or have other outlets (like media of various sorts) that have dramatically reduced the run around with friends in the neighborhood until the streetlights come on experience.  And for only children, that can create a fair amount of isolation.  I do think there is reason to be optimistic about college, however.  If he's in the dorms, he will basically be living with a bunch of people 24-7.  It sounds like he's a likable kid who can make friends easily - I think the changed living circumstances will help dramatically.

My daughter is mostly an only child (my ex-wife had another daughter, but my daughter mostly lives with me) and I don't really experience any of this anxiety.  She does like having people around and no friends live around the corner (as if these kids would walk anywhere anyway...), but seems super connected with her friends at school and via social media and not particularly isolated.  She is quite extroverted, though, and I guess seeks the community.

 

[Da Guru]

This doesn't make sense to me.  What is the difference between "only" child and "single" child in terms of the concerns you raise?

Not sure..just that many parents have taken offense to the term. My wife was told it was not to be used anymore. 

Being a member here for years I have been told many times that we can`t tell people what they are or are not offended by.

I would think that when people say "only" it is like.."Thats all??"

 

[Chaos Commish]

My only child is 18 and grinding through her second quarter of college. She was raised by me, a single dad, from age 4 forward. I am the youngest of 6 and was slow to start a family (mid 30s) so my kid is a decade plus younger than a big group of cousins in their early to mid 30s. She's never had a blood relation that was truly close to her other than me and her terminally ill grandma. She hasn't seen her mom in a decade. Her grandma did live with us for the last few years of her life. A large extended family has been present for most holidays and some special occasions. 

I miss her but she's awesome about chatting daily. So given all the red flags above I asked her opinion of this topic. She says it was a huge blessing. She knows she's spoiled and it could be an issue, but the option to not be spoiled sucks. Brothers and sisters suck. Having two parents is twice as bad as having one. She went on and on in this vein. A very happy, self-aware and well-adjusted freshman at university. I'm just a dumb lug as a parent, but I was constantly present because she was pretty much all I had. I believe that works out positively if common sense is a simple priority and being aware of the unique situation is regularly addressed. She does have a close group of friends that are starting to spread out and that bothers her, but she insists she's the most normal kid of the lot and quite happy.

I protest lumping single children into even a broad psychological profile and dedicating books to only child syndrome could be harmful. If my daughter read half that stuff she might start feeling the negatives. 

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

I am an only child. Besides being a self-absorbed, raging #######, I think I turned out ok.