Things you can say to a pet but not to your girlfriend (1 Viewer)

[GregR]

I'm going to have to rub your nose in that.

 

[Angry Beavers]

Fetch your ball(s);

Stay;

Do you need to go potty?

 

[heckmanm]

"You're a b!tch!"

 

[Jayrok]

I love you and enjoy spending time with you. Roll over and let me rub your belly.

 

[top dog]

"Stop licking yourself there!!!"

 

[Bucky86]

Your farts ####### reek. You're staying outside until you take a ####.

 

[top dog]

Go to your cage.

 

[Cjw_55106]

You need a trim. You're starting to look like a bear.

 

[gianmarco]

"You're the only one that understands me"

 

[EYLive]

Don't take a dump on my chest!

 

[Bucky86]

You really need to go on a diet.

 

[top dog]

"Come on! Hurry up and take a crap already!"

 

[MikeIke]

I am so tired of your crap!

 

[Cjw_55106]

Quit rubbing your ### on the carpet!

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

Just because you lick ### doesn't make you special. Get off the couch!

 

[Bucky86]

You're such a #### blocker.

 

[kentric]

What is the air velocity of an unladen swallow.

 

[Snoopy]

Good boy/girl, heel, fetch

 

[nittanylion]

Roll over. Play dead.

Well, I could tell her that, but I don't really have to...

 

[GregR]

"Come!"

 

[randall146]

"Down!"

 

[kentric]

"Come!"

Funny how you can add, "I'm going to" before any word and it totally alters the meaning.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Come lick this peanut butter off my balls

 

[kentric]

Come lick this peanut butter off my balls

I was thinking of PB but didn't have a way of presenting it. Even tried, "I'm going to peanut butter" --- still nothin'

 

[Bucky86]

Go act cute so that hot chick, with big boobs, leans over to pet you.

 

[GregR]

I love watching you wagging your tail.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Snausages!

 

[Ditka Butkus]

Your breath smells like you have been licking your ###.

 

[GregR]

I'm going to rest this across your nose. Hold still until I tell you, then grab it with your mouth!

 

[Bucky86]

Stop eating dog poop.

 

[JHuber77]

Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!

 

[TheIronSheik]

Stay away from the Korean neighbors.

 

[The Tahitian Facemask]

Can you tell your mom to quit banging every random stray that roams through the yard?

 

[zamboni]

Sit, Ubu, sit.

 

[spOOfy]

I can't come up with anything

 

[IC FBGCav]

Quit staring at me I am trying to beat off.

 

[TenTimes]

Quit staring at me I am trying to beat off.

imagining saying this to a gf

 

[jon_mx]

Here Kitty Kitty......only not kitty.

 

[GregR]

I've got a giant bone for you.

 

[Bucky86]

Why are you always putting random sticks in your mouth??

 

[gianmarco]

Nothing makes my day more than when I come home and find you waiting for me at the door just wiggling your ###.

 

[GregR]

Come here, let's get your new collar on you...

 

[TheIronSheik]

I think you can beat Michael Vick's b itch.

 

[GregR]

She behaves much better since I gave her to a professional to train.

 

[Jules Winnfield]

Is doggy style the only way you know?

 

[zamboni]

You're such a pig.

 

[jon_mx]

Roll over and play dead.

 

[GregR]

If I catch you on the mailman one more time...!

 

[Fennis]

I'm heading out for hookers and blow. See you Sunday!

 

[GregR]

That's right, I was petting someone other than you. Go ahead and get a good sniff, I bet you can still smell her on me.