Things You Can Say To Your Pet But Not Your Girlfriend (1 Viewer)

[Bruce Dickinson]

Before we go for a walk, I need to put you on a leash.

 

[James Daulton]

If you piss on the floor again I'm hitting you on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

 

[Peak]

Time to get you groomed.

 

[Zegras11]

Stop barking 

 

[Captain Cranks]

I hate giving you a bath.  

 

[Peak]

Time to put you back in your cage.

 

[Zegras11]

Quit licking my balls 

 

[Fred Lane]

You b##ch!!

 

[Sinn Fein]

Play dead

 

[Sinn Fein]

Stop ####ting on the floor

 

[jon_mx]

I think we need another #####.  

 

[JoeSteeler]

time to get your anal glands expressed!

 

[BeaverCleaver]

Stop eating your crap!

 

[JoeSteeler]

stop humping me!

 

[Leroy Hoard]

I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I knew I'd miss her, so I had to keep her
She's buried right in my back yard


 

 

[Peak]

Get your nose out of his ###!

 

[ProstheticRGK]

Look what I have... Peanut butter. That's right you like peanut butter, don't you? 

 

[JoeSteeler]

why do you keep spitting up hairballs?

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Down, boy!

 

[pandora]

"I want you to know that the bed seems so lonely without you in it"

 

[Gustavo Fring]

The doc says you could stand to lose a few, so I am changing up your diet.  

 

[SacramentoBob]

What's that?  Timmy fell down the well?

 

[Sconch]

Put your lipstick away.

 

[Limp Ditka]

Put your lipstick away.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I'm going to have to tie you up so you can't run away again. 

I can't imagine if you got loose in the desert and the coyotes got a hold of you and tore you to shreds and I had to make a claim against the life insurance policy we just bumped up last year.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Wait, what are we doing in here again?

 

[Anarchy99]

You've seen one p-u-s-s-y, you've seen them all.