update- I pooped and everyone is relieved! (1 Viewer)

[MC Gas Money]

Ive been semi-constipated for 3-4 days and extremely gassy, but this gas is unlike any I have ever had. My girl has had to leave the room several times after I laid one, while she can normally weather the storm, and says even after she goes it has been lingering on her shirt.

A few times her mother walked in after I crop dusted the room.......she has uncanny timing in this regard........and my girl tells me that earlier today she pulled her aside and said she is concerned for my health and that something may be wrong. She thought it was funny at first but its not improving and she is now taking it seriously.

After not dropping a duece for two days I ate 2 bowls of rausin bran and 4 fiber bars. I have been defecating today but not nearly at the volume or density it should be after over 200% of the recommended daily intake of fiber and it is much darker than usual. Not internal bleeding dark but a much deeper shade of brown.

I love gassing people as much as any guy. It has been a delight, but even though I like my brand it is noticably stronger. The only thing unusual for my diet that I ate around the start of this situation besides thanksgiving, which I didnt particularly overeat at besides 3 pieces of pie, was I drank one of those Heineken kegs.

I usually drink guiness or sapporo and not heiny's. They dont give me gas so could it be the large heineken consumption? Something worse?

If this doesbt improve and the gas pains get worse I may go to the doctor.

 

[StrikeS2k]

You have to have a fiance before she can worry about you.

 

[Das Boot]

Did you ever see the Jackass movie where Ryan Dunn had a toy car lodged in his rectum?

I mean, that's probably not it but it shouldn't be ruled out.

 

[Tom Servo]

Probably ball cancer.

 

[jon_mx]

A French dude just invented pills that will make it smell like a rose. You can be a walking room freshener.

 

[MC Gas Money]

Probably ball cancer.

Tom. Was that you I played in Dragonplay poker last night?

I think it was a 10 million tourney. The guys name was Tom Servo and if I revall correctly his avatar was some sort of sideways statue head.

I was the one in the chef hat names White Devil.

I asked if it was you but he didnt respond.

 

[MC Gas Money]

A French dude just invented pills that will make it smell like a rose. You can be a walking room freshener.

For real?

 

[jon_mx]

A French dude just invented pills that will make it smell like a rose. You can be a walking room freshener.

For real?

Fur reel. I added a link.

 

[MC Gas Money]

A French dude just invented pills that will make it smell like a rose. You can be a walking room freshener.

For real?

Fur reel. I added a link.

This is amazing if legit, but I cant find any way to order them. I think it may be a hoax.

 

[jon_mx]

A French dude just invented pills that will make it smell like a rose. You can be a walking room freshener.

For real?

Fur reel. I added a link.

This is amazing if legit, but I cant find any way to order them. I think it may be a hoax.

It has been widely reported. It is legit. I question it's effectiveness. If you still have much #### in your ###, it will just smell like rose flavor ####.

 

[MC Gas Money]

A French dude just invented pills that will make it smell like a rose. You can be a walking room freshener.

For real?

Fur reel. I added a link.

This is amazing if legit, but I cant find any way to order them. I think it may be a hoax.

It has been widely reported. It is legit. I question it's effectiveness. If you still have much #### in your ###, it will just smell like rose flavor ####.

Whoa.

The rose and violet variety arent manly so I am going to order the chocolate.

I wish he an apple cinnamon one.

 

[sports_fan]

I think you'd get better advice if you included a picture to illustrate your problem.

 

[sports_fan]

also avocados

 

[MC Gas Money]

I think you'd get better advice if you included a picture to illustrate your problem.

Of my poop or my fiance?

 

[sports_fan]

I think you'd get better advice if you included a picture to illustrate your problem.

Of my poop or my fiance?

uh fiance would be most helpful

 

[glumpy]

After not dropping a duece for two days I ate 2 bowls of rausin bran and 4 fiber bars.

bejeeezus drink water. Lots of it.

 

[MC Gas Money]

After not dropping a duece for two days I ate 2 bowls of rausin bran and 4 fiber bars.

bejeeezus drink water. Lots of it.

How much?

 

[joffer]

Ive been semi-constipated for 3-4 days and extremely gassy, but this gas is unlike any I have ever had. My girl has had to leave the room several times after I laid one, while she can normally weather the storm, and says even after she goes it has been lingering on her shirt.

 

[Todem]

Drink some dulcolax. You will take some seriously violent craps within hours and possibly have some serious diarrhea but it will clean your pipes out so you can stop laying those nasty farts that has your fiancee's panties all bunched up.

It's the last resort.....but go for it so you can get some relief.

 

[Dentist]

Take a dump on the fiance's chest, if she stays she's a keeper

 

[peaces]

that stinks

 

[glumpy]

After not dropping a duece for two days I ate 2 bowls of rausin bran and 4 fiber bars.

bejeeezus drink water. Lots of it.

How much?

I don't know the number and it depends on your activity level--drink it often enough until your pee runs clear. It'll help a whole lot more than just what you're worried about.

 

[Das Boot]

What the hell's a fian?

 

[Hilts]

After not dropping a duece for two days I ate 2 bowls of rausin bran and 4 fiber bars.

bejeeezus drink water. Lots of it.

How much?

As many gallons as you can manage in as short a period time as possible.

 

[MC Gas Money]

I chugged 4 glasses of water. I will update my next bowel movement.

If I still feel blocked im going with the dolcolax tomorrow.

 

[MC Gas Money]

You have to have a fiance before she can worry about you.

Women never marry crazy bums do they?

 

[MC Gas Money]

After not dropping a duece for two days I ate 2 bowls of rausin bran and 4 fiber bars.

bejeeezus drink water. Lots of it.

How much?

As many gallons as you can manage in as short a period time as possible.

Reported for trying to get me to commit suicide

 

[Todem]

I chugged 4 glasses of water. I will update my next bowel movement.

If I still feel blocked im going with the dolcolax tomorrow.

Water usually helps....but yeah...if no dump tonight....use the liquid drano for human consumption.

 

[StrikeS2k]

You have to have a fiance before she can worry about you.

Women never marry crazy bums do they?

Sure they do. I just don't believe that's the case in this instance.

 

[MC Gas Money]

Just pooped after drinking a bunch of water. It was a couple nuggets and then a little bile. Wouldnt bile indicate my colon is cleaned?

Why am I still producing terrible gas? Its getting steadily more foul. I still feel bloated like I need to take a big crap.

 

[rockaction]

Just pooped after drinking a bunch of water. It was a couple nuggets and then a little bile. Wouldnt bile indicate my colon is cleaned?

Why am I still producing terrible gas? Its getting steadily more foul. I still feel bloated like I need to take a big crap.

Are we all married? I don't care about your bowel movements. Yes, it'll happen. Yes, drink prune juice. There's this thing. It's called the internet. Use it for good.

You're a grown man. Figure it out.

 

[Alonzo Mosely]

Pills scmills, just chip off some Kingsford.

 

[MC Gas Money]

Having my morning coffee. The moment of truth should come shortly.

 

[Tom Servo]

Probably ball cancer.

Tom. Was that you I played in Dragonplay poker last night?

I think it was a 10 million tourney. The guys name was Tom Servo and if I revall correctly his avatar was some sort of sideways statue head.

I was the one in the chef hat names White Devil.

I asked if it was you but he didnt respond.

The only poker I play is with my wife.

 

[Mr. Ected]

Do you drink milk? One of my kids had a similar issue (not so much with the smell) and a doctor was thinking it was a mild lactose intolerance. We tried lactose free milk, and it has helped a lot.

 

[jon_mx]

Do you drink milk? One of my kids had a similar issue (not so much with the smell) and a doctor was thinking it was a mild lactose intolerance. We tried lactose free milk, and it has helped a lot.

I don't think he is intolerant of white things.

 

[MC Gas Money]

Do you drink milk? One of my kids had a similar issue (not so much with the smell) and a doctor was thinking it was a mild lactose intolerance. We tried lactose free milk, and it has helped a lot.

Most of the time i use almond milk but I do eat a fair amount if cheese, although not as much recently. Ive never had a problem with dairy. I am mostly northern European and we are pretty well adapted to lactose but I may try it however unlikely.

How is that lactose free milk?

 

[Mr. Ected]

Do you drink milk? One of my kids had a similar issue (not so much with the smell) and a doctor was thinking it was a mild lactose intolerance. We tried lactose free milk, and it has helped a lot.

Most of the time i use almond milk but I do eat a fair amount if cheese, although not as much recently. Ive never had a problem with dairy. I am mostly northern European and we are pretty well adapted to lactose but I may try it however unlikely.

How is that lactose free milk?

Hard to tell any difference. Kid thinks it's fine. One bonus is process makes it last longer.

 

[Tom Servo]

The truly incredible part of this story is that he has a fiancée.

 

[George Jefferson Airplane]

You should pitch an idea to NBC for a new show called the Flatulor. Four lucky women get to feed you various meals and then stand in your fart cloud vying for your stink finger.

 

[MC Gas Money]

The truly incredible part of this story is that he has a fiancée.

I pull in a lot of poon, 90% of the time on the first date and I am always able to convince them to do it raw and I never have to spend any money on women while banging them for months. They spend money on me.

You wish you had half my skills.

 

[The Hank]

Fiber one bars normally help with this sort of thing.

 

[fantasycurse42]

The truly incredible part of this story is that he has a fiancée.

I pull in a lot of poon, 90% of the time on the first date and I am always able to convince them to do it raw and I never have to spend any money on women while banging them for months. They spend money on me.

You wish you had half my skills.

Charles Manson had female followers too

 

[jon_mx]

The truly incredible part of this story is that he has a fiancée.

I pull in a lot of poon, 90% of the time on the first date and I am always able to convince them to do it raw and I never have to spend any money on women while banging them for months. They spend money on me.

You wish you had half my skills.

Charles Manson had female followers too

Apparently still does. He is getting married to some young chickie.

 

[Green and Gold]

The truly incredible part of this story is that he has a fiancée.

I pull in a lot of poon, 90% of the time on the first date and I am always able to convince them to do it raw and I never have to spend any money on women while banging them for months. They spend money on me.

You wish you had half my skills.

Cosby?

 

[MC Gas Money]

Ive been drinking tons of water and I havent pooped today. Im picking up some laxatives later.

 

[MC Gas Money]

The truly incredible part of this story is that he has a fiancée.

I pull in a lot of poon, 90% of the time on the first date and I am always able to convince them to do it raw and I never have to spend any money on women while banging them for months. They spend money on me.You wish you had half my skills.

Charles Manson had female followers too

Did you look up that fire dept thing yet?

 

[Tom Servo]

The truly incredible part of this story is that he has a fiancée.

I pull in a lot of poon, 90% of the time on the first date and I am always able to convince them to do it raw and I never have to spend any money on women while banging them for months. They spend money on me.

You wish you had half my skills.

I stand corrected....THIS is the most incredible part. As well as being total

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

The truly incredible part of this story is that he has a fiancée.

I pull in a lot of poon, 90% of the time on the first date and I am always able to convince them to do it raw and I never have to spend any money on women while banging them for months. They spend money on me.

You wish you had half my skills.

Heroin is a hell of a drug

 

[MC Gas Money]

Havent had any poop come out in 36 hours. I took laxative pills last night and drank a quart of prune juice and ate some triscuits.

No movement this morning and the gas is really foul.

Im going to have to try a suppository now.