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Weird/Dumb/Nonsensical Music Lyrics (1 Viewer)

For nonsensical, I would submit the entire Phish catalog.

For just plain old dumb, I give it the award to the Beach Boys' Little Saint Nick: "Christmas comes this time each year"

No ####?

 
El Floppo said:
or pretty much every pavement song.
Click to expand...
First one I looked at..

My eyes stick to all the shiny robes
You wear on the protein delta strip
In an abandoned house but I will wait there
I'll be waiting forever...
I'm waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting...
Go!

Minerals, ice deposit daily, drop off
The first shiny robe
I've got a lot of things I want to sell, but
Not here, babe-- Tokyo... 

 
The whole kit and kaboodle is in this fire
I know where to go
It ain't here
Little captains and coo coos
From here to Timbuktu are
Countin' their dough in a mirror

Rooty toot toot for the moon
It's the biggest star I've ever seen
It's a burrel of wisdom
Slice of green cheese
And it's burnin' just like kerosene
Burnin' just like kerosene

You're gonna hop in your old Ford
And strap on your new sword
Wait for the good Lord to return
If you got - your honey
Life can be pretty funny
If you've got money
You've got money to burn

Rooty toot toot for the moon
It's the biggest star I've ever seen
It's a burrel of wisdom
Slice of green cheese
And it's burnin' just like kerosene
Burnin' just like kerosene

So God bless motorcycles
And all the other trifles
Ah you know you can't memorize Zen
Hang your hat on your nose
Do not hide in your clothes
Kiss somebody
Begin to begin

Rooty toot toot for the moon
It's the biggest star I've ever seen
It's a burrel of wisdom
Slice of green cheese
And it's burnin' just like kerosene
Burnin' just like kerosene

Ah it's burnin'

 
shuke said:
For nonsensical, I would submit the entire Phish catalog.

For just plain old dumb, I give it the award to the Beach Boys' Little Saint Nick: "Christmas comes this time each year"

No ####?
Click to expand...
I love the Beach Boys. They're my favorite band. But even my old ex-girlfriend was in hysterics when All Summer Long long came on and Mike Love started singing. It's hard to do it justice. There's something so corny about it that it doesn't become cool or sentimental like their post-'65 stuff would, it becomes stupid. In fairness, the second verse isn't so bad, but the first stanza is something out of saccharine innocence. There's something about these wonderful harmonies emanating from something so...stupid.   

Sittin' in my car outside your house
(Sittin' in my car outside your house)
'Member when you spilled coke all over your blouse

T-shirts, cut-offs, and a pair of thongs
(T-shirts, cut-offs, and a pair of thongs)
We've been having fun all summer long

 
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rockaction said:
:lmao:

I think wherever Mike Love is, there's a stupid lyric floating around just dying to express itself to the world. In that way, I guess, Brian was a bully.  
Click to expand...
And then there is Love's "Student Demonstration Time", which has to be the worst attempt in human history to write a hip song. 

Starting out with Berkeley Free Speech
And later on at People's Park
The winds of change fanned into flames
Student demonstrations spark
Down to Isla Vista where police felt so harassed
They called the special riot squad of the L. A. County Sheriff

Well there's a riot going on
There's a riot going on
There's a riot going on
Student demonstration time

The violence spread down South to where Jackson State brothers
Learned not to say nasty things about Southern policemen's mothers
Nothing much was said about it and really next to nothing done
The pen is mightier than the sword, but no match for a gun

Well there's a riot going on
There's a riot going on
Well there's a riot going on
Cause it's student demonstration time

America was stunned on May 4, 1970
When rally turned to riot up at Kent State University
They said the students scared the Guard
Though the troops were battle dressed
Four martyrs earned a new degree
The Bachelor of Bullets
I know we're all fed up with useless wars and racial strife
But next time there's a riot, well, you best stay out of sight
 

 
nirad3 said:
What is the song that's on like 5-6 commercials right now that goes...

Ooh-ah I'm a rebel with a kickstand...

Or at least that's what it sounds like.

I haven't even Googled.

:oldunsure:
Click to expand...
I assume you mean "Feel It Still" by Portugal the Man.  I dig the song and the lyrics are quite good.  I can see how it can be misheard, though.   

edit: I see that NREC34 has this covered.  

 
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Uruk-Hai said:
And then there is Love's "Student Demonstration Time", which has to be the worst attempt in human history to write a hip song. 

Starting out with Berkeley Free Speech
And later on at People's Park
The winds of change fanned into flames
Student demonstrations spark
Down to Isla Vista where police felt so harassed
They called the special riot squad of the L. A. County Sheriff

Well there's a riot going on
There's a riot going on
There's a riot going on
Student demonstration time

The violence spread down South to where Jackson State brothers
Learned not to say nasty things about Southern policemen's mothers
Nothing much was said about it and really next to nothing done
The pen is mightier than the sword, but no match for a gun

Well there's a riot going on
There's a riot going on
Well there's a riot going on
Cause it's student demonstration time

America was stunned on May 4, 1970
When rally turned to riot up at Kent State University
They said the students scared the Guard
Though the troops were battle dressed
Four martyrs earned a new degree
The Bachelor of Bullets
I know we're all fed up with useless wars and racial strife
But next time there's a riot, well, you best stay out of sight
 
Click to expand...
I think he's confused about exactly what he wants to say. Can you imagine self-editing into that mess? 

Well, I want to be on the side of social justice, but really just stay home -- you can't beat the system. Oh yeah, and don't riot, peaceably assemble, even though it's not really fair and the police and military industrial state are paranoid. So don't stay home. But you still might get shot.

Wait, and did you forget my second verse? That was about racial progress and its inevitable march/futility! 

Yow. History was not kind to Mike Love. 

 
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Captain Cranks said:
Uhhh, what about this doesn't makes sense to you?  Everyone's gone through that period in their lives. 

"In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins so I'm out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
Baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
Got a couple of couches sleep on the love seat

Someone keeps sayin' I'm insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Don't believe everything that you read
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park"
Click to expand...
Get crazy with the Chez Whiz.

 
rockaction said:
I think he's confused about exactly what he wants to say. Can you imagine self-editing into that mess? 

Well, I want to be on the side of social justice, but really just stay home -- you can't beat the system. Oh yeah, and don't riot, peaceably assemble, even though its not really fair. So don't stay home. 

Wait, and did you forget my second verse? That was about racial progress and its futility! 

Yow. History was not kind to Mike Love. 
Click to expand...
Yep. It's a confused, jumbled mess - especially when compared to contemporary on-point topical songs like "What's Going On?". Then add Mike "I should have had my adenoids out when I was 8" Love's dumb-assed voice. 

 
shuke said:
For nonsensical, I would submit the entire Phish catalog.

For just plain old dumb, I give it the award to the Beach Boys' Little Saint Nick: "Christmas comes this time each year"

No ####?
Click to expand...


Officer Pete Malloy said:
You’ve listened to the entire Phish catalog?
Click to expand...
I have listened to a lot of it, and was shocked it took two pages for someone to mention phish. I’m trying to pick one to mention here but there’s just too many. Like 1/3 of te songs are about some fantasy land trey came up with in college, maybe 1/3 actually make sense, and the rest is stuff like this-

knee deep in the motel tub, Reba dangle ladle to her lip

dip

sip

reba babble to the nag with the lipstick perfume mutter to a farmer in a truck

Take a peek at the cheetah, Reba
cheetah on the prowl in a cage
sink a boulder in the water
tie a cable to a tree

Mutter "nature" to the nag
with the lipstick perfume
Reba flush a fleshfarm leftover
thunder in a circle
down the pipes

 
Uruk-Hai said:
Yep. It's a confused, jumbled mess - especially when compared to contemporary on-point topical songs like "What's Going On?". Then add Mike "I should have had my adenoids out when I was 8" Love's dumb-assed voice. 
Click to expand...
If nothing else, Mike Love (and you) caused me to listen to "What's Going On?" right now, so there's that. Other than that, I'm still not sure what Mike is saying there.  

As for on-point, Marvin gets in and out in 3:50 or so and says his piece. I always loved "Mercy, Mercy Me (The Ecology)" maybe a little better just because of the vocals on the track, not even the subject matter, as I'm more a sucker for the former's. Had no idea RS listed it as the number six pop album all time, though I can certainly see it. 

 
Barbecues, tea kettles, gobs of axle grease
There comes a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese
Now, life's a bowl of bagel dogs, but there are unpleasantries
Cold toilet seats, dentist chairs and trips to DMV-call it

pointless :pickle:

 
peaces said:
Barbecues, tea kettles, gobs of axle grease
There comes a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese
Now, life's a bowl of bagel dogs, but there are unpleasantries
Cold toilet seats, dentist chairs and trips to DMV-call it

pointless :pickle:
Click to expand...
Those damn blue-collar tweakers/they're beloved in this town/Hey-yo

 
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Captain Cranks said:
What lyrics make you go, "huh?"

For me, it's this.
Click to expand...
Not that it's a great song or anything, but the lyrics aren't that odd.

'As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti'

Kilimanjaro is a mountain/volcano, Olympus is a mountain, the Serengeti is the plain in Africa where Kilimanjaro stands, kind of alone, if I remember correctly.

As a teen in the 80s when this song came out, and lyrics were hard t find, unless they were printed on the album or cassette insert; I always thought it was 'leopard' not Olympus. Thought it fit the theme better.

:2cents:

 
Mr. Ected said:
Not that it's a great song or anything, but the lyrics aren't that odd.

'As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti'

Kilimanjaro is a mountain/volcano, Olympus is a mountain, the Serengeti is the plain in Africa where Kilimanjaro stands, kind of alone, if I remember correctly.

As a teen in the 80s when this song came out, and lyrics were hard t find, unless they were printed on the album or cassette insert; I always thought it was 'leopard' not Olympus. Thought it fit the theme better.

:2cents:
Click to expand...
Olympus is known as the home of Greek gods.  So I always assumed the phrase "rises [like the gods of Olympus] above the Serengeti" was used metaphorically.  Or the writer - who sucked at geography - was just trying to fit as many Africa-sounding references that would fit the number of syllables needed to keep the song flow and hoped no one would notice that it made no sense.

 
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SlaX said:
Mr. Ected said:
Not that it's a great song or anything, but the lyrics aren't that odd.

'As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti'

Kilimanjaro is a mountain/volcano, Olympus is a mountain, the Serengeti is the plain in Africa where Kilimanjaro stands, kind of alone, if I remember correctly.

As a teen in the 80s when this song came out, and lyrics were hard t find, unless they were printed on the album or cassette insert; I always thought it was 'leopard' not Olympus. Thought it fit the theme better.

:2cents:
Click to expand...
Olympus is known as the home of Greek gods.  So I always assumed the phrase "rises [like the gods of Olympus] above the Serengeti" was used metaphorically.  Or the writer - who sucked at geography - was just trying to fit as many Africa-sounding references that would fit the number of syllables needed to keep the song flow and hoped no one would notice that it made no sense.
Click to expand...
Agree on both. Either way, it's not that nonsensical. IMO.

ETA: Although I'd like to send @Captain Cranks down to the seventh level of Hell for getting that damn song stuck in my head today!!!

 
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"Push Push (Lady Lightning)" - Bang Camaro

Yeah!!!

Come on!!!

Oooh, come on
I want to take you higher
Oooh, come on
Let's make electric fire!

Push Push Lady Lightning!
Push Push
Push Push Lady Lightning!
Push Push

Oooh, come on
I want to take you higher
Oooh, come on
Let's make electric fire!

Push Push Lady Lightning!
Push Push
Push Push Lady Lightning!
Push Push

Push! Push! Push! Push!
Push! Push! Push! Push!
Push! Push! Push! Push!
Push! Push! Push! Push!

 
How about this crap

But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
That he didn't, didn't already have
And Cause never was the reason for the evening
Or the tropic of Sir Galahad

 
Cos I've been standing at the station 
In need of education in the rain 
You made no preparation for my reputation once again 
The sink is full of fishes 
She's got dirty dishes on the brain 
It was overflowing gently but it's all elementary my friend 

 
Goin' home late last night,
Suddenly I got a fright
Yeah, I looked through a window and surprise what I saw
Fairy boots are dancin' with a dwarf
All right now

Yeah fairies wear boots, and you gotta believe me
Yeah, I saw it, I saw it I tell you no lies
Yeah Fairies wear boots and you gotta believe me
I saw it I saw it with my own two eyes
Woah right now

Yeah fairies wear boots, and you gotta believe me
Yeah, I saw it, I saw it I tell you no lies
Yeah fairies wear boots and you gotta believe me
I saw it I saw it with my own two eyes
Woah right now

So I went to the doctor, see what he could give me
He said, son, son you've gone too far,
'Cause smokin' an trippin' is all that you do, yeah

 
rustycolts said:
Goin' home late last night,
Suddenly I got a fright
Yeah, I looked through a window and surprise what I saw
Fairy boots are dancin' with a dwarf
All right now

Yeah fairies wear boots, and you gotta believe me
Yeah, I saw it, I saw it I tell you no lies
Yeah Fairies wear boots and you gotta believe me
I saw it I saw it with my own two eyes
Woah right now

Yeah fairies wear boots, and you gotta believe me
Yeah, I saw it, I saw it I tell you no lies
Yeah fairies wear boots and you gotta believe me
I saw it I saw it with my own two eyes
Woah right now

So I went to the doctor, see what he could give me
He said, son, son you've gone too far,
'Cause smokin' an trippin' is all that you do, yeah
Click to expand...
If we took the drugs Sabbath did, this would make perfect sense.

 
Dreamed I was an eskimo
Frozen wind began to blow
Under my boots and around my toes
The frost that bit the ground below
It was a hundred degrees below zero...

And my mama cried
And my mama cried
Nanook, a-no-no
Nanook, a-no-no
Don't be a naughty eskimo
Save your money, don't go to the show

Well I turned around and I said oh, oh oh
Well I turned around and I said oh, oh oh
Well I turned around and I said ho, ho
And the northern lights commenced to glow
And she said, with a tear in her eye
Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow
Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow

(well, right about that time people
A fur-trapper (who was strictly from commercial)
Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igloo (peekaboo))
And he started into whippin on my favorite baby seal
With a lead-filled snowshoe)

I said, with a
Lead-
Filled
With a lead filled snowshoe
He said, peekaboo
I said, with a
Lead-
Filled
With a lead filled snowshoe
He said, peekaboo
He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal
He went whap with a lead-filled snowshoe, and
He hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin, and he
That got me just about as evil as an eskimo boy can be. So I bent down
And I reached down, and I scooped down and I gathered up a generous
Mitten-ful of the deadly yellow snow

The deadly yellow snow, from right there where the huskies go!

Whereupon I proceeded to take that mittenful of the deadly yellow snow
Crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous
Circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined
To take the place of the mudshark in your mythology
Here it goes, the circular motion, now rub it!

(here fido)

And then
In a fit of anger
I pounced

And I pounced again

Great googly moogly!

I jumped up and down on the chest of the him

I injured
The fur trapper

Well he was very upset, as you can understand
And rightly so, because the
Deadly yellow snow crystals had
Deprived him of his
Sight

And he stood up, and he looked around, and he said

I can't see
I can't see
Oh, woe is me
I can't see

Well..... You know
I can't see
Nothin

He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye
He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye
And the husky wee-wee
I mean the doggie wee-wee
Has blinded me
And I can't see
Temporarily

Well, the fur-trapper stood there, with his arms outstretched across the
Frozen white wasteland, trying to figure out what he was going to do about
His deflicted eyes. And it was at that precise moment that he remembered
And ancient eskimo legend, wherein it is written (on whatever it is that
They write it on up there) that if anything bad ever happens to your eyes
As the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named
Nanook,
The only way you can get it fixed up is to go

Trudging across the tundra
Mile after mile
Trudging across the tundra

Right down to the parish of st. Alphonzo

 
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