What's Normal? - Have you ever seen a psychologist/therapist/counselor? (1 Viewer)

[AAABatteries]

Over the past few years, I have struggled to be seen by the same person. Three counselors retired, and two left the practices they were with, each time leaving me without a replacement. The longest I got to work with anyone was 3 or 4 months. Last year, I started working with a new younger therapist, who assured me she wasn't going anywhere and I could work with her as long as I wanted.

That was 15 months ago, and I generally felt better and thought things were working well. Last week, we went over my upcoming appointment schedule through Halloween (8+ weeks). In all this time, there had been no problems, issues, or concerns conveyed to or raised about me. However, to start my session this week, without any notice whatsoever, "management" had determined that I could no longer see the therapist. She claimed she didn't have any issues with me and wanted to continue to work with me. We agreed to keep our appointment schedule that we had reviewed last week.

Prior to my next appointment, she called and said "management" told her termination of my treatment was not optional, and we were done. There was very little explanation given, other than "they" found fault with the items discussed in my weekly sessions. Each session, we covered how my week went, if I was feeling better, and reviewed how work / home life was going. That's been the road map on what was covered with every other person I ever worked with. I assume those are common topics of discussion in any counseling session.

Apparently, those was deemed "inappropriate" topics to cover. "They" determined that I was not not getting enough out of my treatment, "they" determined I was not happy with how things were going and not making progress, so they dropped me. No notice, no discussion, and no other explanation.

I have never heard of such a thing happening. They wanted to divert me to one of their other therapists, and I said I was done telling my life story all over again for literally the 7th time. I am also curious and/or concerned, as I thought anything discussed in session was considered safe and confidential. How and why was I being discussed with other people? Why would I want to keep going to a place that seemingly is talking about me behind my back? Has anyone else been dropped cold turkey by a provider before?

What the heck man - that’s horrible. It feels like something is missing in the story - and not suggesting it’s made up at all but I’ve never heard this before either. Is this a therapist through something like the military or a specific entity?

 

[Hastur]

Over the past few years, I have struggled to be seen by the same person. Three counselors retired, and two left the practices they were with, each time leaving me without a replacement. The longest I got to work with anyone was 3 or 4 months. Last year, I started working with a new younger therapist, who assured me she wasn't going anywhere and I could work with her as long as I wanted.

That was 15 months ago, and I generally felt better and thought things were working well. Last week, we went over my upcoming appointment schedule through Halloween (8+ weeks). In all this time, there had been no problems, issues, or concerns conveyed to or raised about me. However, to start my session this week, without any notice whatsoever, "management" had determined that I could no longer see the therapist. She claimed she didn't have any issues with me and wanted to continue to work with me. We agreed to keep our appointment schedule that we had reviewed last week.

Prior to my next appointment, she called and said "management" told her termination of my treatment was not optional, and we were done. There was very little explanation given, other than "they" found fault with the items discussed in my weekly sessions. Each session, we covered how my week went, if I was feeling better, and reviewed how work / home life was going. That's been the road map on what was covered with every other person I ever worked with. I assume those are common topics of discussion in any counseling session.

Apparently, those was deemed "inappropriate" topics to cover. "They" determined that I was not not getting enough out of my treatment, "they" determined I was not happy with how things were going and not making progress, so they dropped me. No notice, no discussion, and no other explanation.

I have never heard of such a thing happening. They wanted to divert me to one of their other therapists, and I said I was done telling my life story all over again for literally the 7th time. I am also curious and/or concerned, as I thought anything discussed in session was considered safe and confidential. How and why was I being discussed with other people? Why would I want to keep going to a place that seemingly is talking about me behind my back? Has anyone else been dropped cold turkey by a provider before?

The larger the organization, the more people that are not concerned with the quality of the end product. It sounds harsh, but it is the reality of the situation. The further you get from the main gist of what everyone is working for(theoretically), the more the focus is taken away from that end product.

Teachers do everything they can for the kids, but the school board admin must concern themselves with many other factors.
Radio DJ's are in it for the music and entertaining the masses, but reginal managers are concerned with playing music that is 'safe'.
Local city council members are looking out for the local population, but their congressmen spend 80% of their time 'dialing for dollars'.
The person helping you with lowering your phone bill wants to genuinely help you, but the CEO of the company cares nothing else but to make the shareholders happy.
Therapists want to help, but management must contend with insurance.

 

[Judge Smails]

I have joined 2 virtual support groups in the past few months, again regarding the family dynamic with our son. It has been helpful to get multiple perspectives and to be heard. Also now regularly listen to podcasts from a few of the top family therapists out there. Helpful

 

[Blinky the Three Eyed Fish]

What the heck man - that’s horrible. It feels like something is missing in the story - and not suggesting it’s made up at all but I’ve never heard this before either. Is this a therapist through something like the military or a specific entity?

It's a big organization (7,000 providers). They have a portal, and I asked initially if messages were confidential. I was told absolutely they were. I sent about 1 message a month, usually about scheduling, finishing an answer to a question I was asked in a session, or sending a link to something we had just spoken about. This week, I was told "they" had a problem with me communicating through the portal. Apparently, patients are not permitted to communicate that way. I said no one ever explained that. It had been a year, and no one ever said anything. I said I would stop sending messages and expected to move on.

Except I was told it wasn't that simple. I was told "they" had read my messages, which were deemed to be "too personal and inappropriate." I was going to ask why my supposedly confidential messages were read by and discussed with other people, but before I could, she interjected she met with her supervisor and manager. "They" determined that the structure of my sessions, what was discussed, and how things had gone wasn't helping me meet my goals. "They" determined that I was wasn't making any progress, and I should consider stopping treatment. Mind you, all of this came out of leftfield, and I was blindsided.

That's when I said I thought things were fine, no one ever expressed any concerns, and I felt like I was making progress. She said SHE was fine keeping me as a client, but "they" didn't recommend it. I asked who the nameless, faceless "they" was, and was told that was privileged information (and I could not communicate with them). She said they suggested I work with one of their other therapists instead, which really rubbed me the wrong way.

I asked where this was coming from, and if I had said anything, done anything, acted inappropriately, disrespected her, or made her feel uncomfortable. She reiterated SHE had absolutely no issues with me, but THEY did. That chewed up my entire session. I expressed I had no interest in starting over with someone else. Having to tell your life story over and over again to complete strangers takes up a ton of time and money. Things were left that she was happy to keep treating me, I was happy to keep working with her, and we would press on next week.

Instead, she called and told me we were done. I again asked for an explanation or examples of what the issue was and got the run around. She repeated that "they" determined my sessions were not productive, I wasn't making any progress, and the content of our sessions was deemed inappropriate. I pointed out what I said earlier . . . in my sessions, we reviewed how I was doing, how I was feeling, and what happened during that week. That's when she said I had everything right . . . none of that is considered appropriate topics for therapy and none of that should have ever been allowed as in session talking points. At that point, she said she was just letting me know, she's done discussing it, and hung up.

 

[AAABatteries]

I pointed out what I said earlier . . . in my sessions, we reviewed how I was doing, how I was feeling, and what happened during that week. That's when she said I had everything right . . . none of that is considered appropriate topics for therapy and none of that should have ever been allowed as in session talking points

This literally makes no sense to me.

Sorry you are going through this.

 

[Keerock]

I know this will come off as schtick, but any chance your therapist is somehow attracted to you, or you showed attraction to them? Only thing I can think of is that maybe there was a chance that the patient/therapist relationship was becoming compromised?

I suspect if this were the case on your end, you'd know... but any chance they might be developing "inappropriate" feelings for you?

 

[Blinky the Three Eyed Fish]

I know this will come off as schtick, but any chance your therapist is somehow attracted to you, or you showed attraction to them? Only thing I can think of is that maybe there was a chance that the patient/therapist relationship was becoming compromised?

I suspect if this were the case on your end, you'd know... but any chance they might be developing "inappropriate" feelings for you?

I don't see any way she had any interest in me. As I see it, I didn't get the sense that there were ever any flirty vibes in either direction. She's half my age, happily married, and has two kids. She never offered up any information about herself other than that, nor did I ask for any. Part of the reason I started working with her was to get a fresh perspective on improving my relationships with my kids (who are roughly the same age). That worked well, as she was able to provide input on family issues from an adult child's perspective to help me better relate to and communicate with them.

The only time I remember her commenting about me, she mentioned I had a positive outlook, used humor to deal with challenging situations, and tried to stay upbeat. I didn't take that as signs of attraction . . . I took that as being supportive. In comparing working with her vs. other therapists I've seen, the only thing that seemed different was our interaction was less rigid / less structured / more informal. I thought that worked better for me, as I felt more comfortable and opened up more about things in this type of situation. Maybe that's considered too friendly and a faux pas in today's professional counseling workplace. Who knows . . . maybe I am looking at things the wrong way, and "they" were more considered about her behavior than mine. I likely will never find out more information or figure out what happened.

 

[Ministry of Pain]

Is this a trick question?

 

[Keerock]

I know this will come off as schtick, but any chance your therapist is somehow attracted to you, or you showed attraction to them? Only thing I can think of is that maybe there was a chance that the patient/therapist relationship was becoming compromised?

I suspect if this were the case on your end, you'd know... but any chance they might be developing "inappropriate" feelings for you?

I don't see any way she had any interest in me. As I see it, I didn't get the sense that there were ever any flirty vibes in either direction. She's half my age, happily married, and has two kids. She never offered up any information about herself other than that, nor did I ask for any. Part of the reason I started working with her was to get a fresh perspective on improving my relationships with my kids (who are roughly the same age). That worked well, as she was able to provide input on family issues from an adult child's perspective to help me better relate to and communicate with them.

The only time I remember her commenting about me, she mentioned I had a positive outlook, used humor to deal with challenging situations, and tried to stay upbeat. I didn't take that as signs of attraction . . . I took that as being supportive. In comparing working with her vs. other therapists I've seen, the only thing that seemed different was our interaction was less rigid / less structured / more informal. I thought that worked better for me, as I felt more comfortable and opened up more about things in this type of situation. Maybe that's considered too friendly and a faux pas in today's professional counseling workplace. Who knows . . . maybe I am looking at things the wrong way, and "they" were more considered about her behavior than mine. I likely will never find out more information or figure out what happened.

You are a FBG... so undoubtedly rich, handsome and enthralling. I was just playing the odds.

Sorry you're having this difficulty :(

 

[Gatorade]

I voted NO, but probably should have had counseling in the 7th grade. My father drowned when I was when 13. In three years I went from being involved in every sport possible and hanging out with the preachers kids to smoking dope everyday and partying with adults. It took 10 years after that to fully get my life back on track. In the 70s, counseling was not really an option.