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What's the most 'bachelor' thing you ever did? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter RudiStein
- Start date
clampino
Footballguy
I can't really think of anything other than this funny story I recall when a friend of mine lived in the same apt conplex. One time we were changing out the mulch around his patio. We would always set each other up in front of strangers in various situations. We were carrying his old mulch in this huge trash bag to the dumpster which was so heavy it took both of us to carry it. He was carrying one end and I was on the other. On our way to the dumpster I notiuced a lady walking her dog along the opposite side of the street and I said to my friend, "man, this dog is freaking heavy."
Then my friend says, "shhh". Then we both lifted this heavy trash bag into the dumpster and we ducked around the corner of an apt building and watched that lady go sifting through the dumpster looking for a dog.
I still crack up when I think about it.
Then my friend says, "shhh". Then we both lifted this heavy trash bag into the dumpster and we ducked around the corner of an apt building and watched that lady go sifting through the dumpster looking for a dog.
I still crack up when I think about it.
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
Remember the good old days when if you had a pocket knife, a basic understanding of coax, and some cajones you could get free cable?
Not that I would have done that. Especially not after the cable company sent us a letter and then sent some big ex-con looking installer to our front door. Nope, not me.
Not that I would have done that. Especially not after the cable company sent us a letter and then sent some big ex-con looking installer to our front door. Nope, not me.
DevilsTrifecta
Footballguy
It's amazing what you used to be able to do with splitters.
The Future Champs
Footballguy
What's really amazing is how many of these stories seemed like the perfectly normal, reasonable thing to do at the time. Great thread.
A
awesomeness
Guest
I picked up a dirty black T-shirt off the floor, turned it into a ninja mask, and then talked to strangers for hours on the internet via webcam chat.
Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
SaveFerrisB said:
50 cent vending machine football helmets & hockey pucks still on my tree in the attic.
Tecumseh
Footballguy
Easier just to have an uncle that worked for the cable company.
Shooter McGavin
Down the middle
:( andSaveFerrisB said:
all at the same time
koby925
Footballguy
Another fun thing we did on trash night when I lived as a bachelor in the city, other than shopping for furniture, was play a drunk version of Terry Tate Office Linebacker. Still dressed in our suits from working but piss drunk from happy hour and more, one guy would be the unfortunate office worker while another guy would sprint towards him and spear him into the trash piled up on the sidewalks. Rinse and repeat. You never knew what you'd land on in city trash. I'd often just hang the suit up and spray it with cologne and wear it a few days later.
freakinback
Footballguy
Awesome. I sold Mt. Dews. I called them morning dews. A dollar a pop.
Nigel
Footballguy
This was pretty bachelory, though it happened when we were all in our late 30s, most of us married with kids. 
Me and a dozen or so other guys were on a golf trip in San diego a few years ago. I was in the first foursome to finish playing one day and we went into the clubhouse bar. I've posted this story before, it was the same day we hired Hooters girls for caddies, were all blitzed by this point. Anyway, there was a small outing going on in a sectioned off area of the room, with a buffet. Me and another guy walked up to the buffet and each assembled a chicken fajita.
guy next to us: "Are you with the group?"
me: "yes" - not a lie, I was with a group.
him: "The Deloitte group?"
my friend: "No, the BC group."
him: "This is a private party."
me: "Oh. Can we keep the fajitas?"
him: "I guess so."
Then we walked around the corner and sat at a table away from the outing group. The next foursome of our friends rolls in after finishing golf, ask where we got the food, and we point them to the buffet saying "they don't mind". The four of them meandered up, made plates, and walked back and joined us. Me and my friend see three Deloitte guys are following, and scurry away towards the bar, but within earshot....
guy one: "What do you guys think you're doing?"
friend one: "We didn't realize it was a private party."
guy two: "Are you idiots?"
friend two: "I didn't think so, but maybe."
guy one: "I'm paying for this, it's $25 a plate."
friend two: "Fine, here." - takes a waded up $100 out of his pocket and sticks it in the guy's chest, then heads back to the buffet and picks up a platter that contains 20 - 25 giant chocolate chip cookies.
waiter: "Hey, put that down, you can't take that."
friend two: "Sorry, you're right." Puts platter down, pulls shirt out of pants and makes a pouch to carry the stacks of cookies, then turn and walks out.
guy two, giving chase: "Get back here, those are our cookies!"
friend two: "We paid for them - have them bake some more." Then we got in our shuttle van and left, munching cookies.
Me and a dozen or so other guys were on a golf trip in San diego a few years ago. I was in the first foursome to finish playing one day and we went into the clubhouse bar. I've posted this story before, it was the same day we hired Hooters girls for caddies, were all blitzed by this point. Anyway, there was a small outing going on in a sectioned off area of the room, with a buffet. Me and another guy walked up to the buffet and each assembled a chicken fajita.
guy next to us: "Are you with the group?"
me: "yes" - not a lie, I was with a group.
him: "The Deloitte group?"
my friend: "No, the BC group."
him: "This is a private party."
me: "Oh. Can we keep the fajitas?"
him: "I guess so."
Then we walked around the corner and sat at a table away from the outing group. The next foursome of our friends rolls in after finishing golf, ask where we got the food, and we point them to the buffet saying "they don't mind". The four of them meandered up, made plates, and walked back and joined us. Me and my friend see three Deloitte guys are following, and scurry away towards the bar, but within earshot....
guy one: "What do you guys think you're doing?"
friend one: "We didn't realize it was a private party."
guy two: "Are you idiots?"
friend two: "I didn't think so, but maybe."
guy one: "I'm paying for this, it's $25 a plate."
friend two: "Fine, here." - takes a waded up $100 out of his pocket and sticks it in the guy's chest, then heads back to the buffet and picks up a platter that contains 20 - 25 giant chocolate chip cookies.
waiter: "Hey, put that down, you can't take that."
friend two: "Sorry, you're right." Puts platter down, pulls shirt out of pants and makes a pouch to carry the stacks of cookies, then turn and walks out.
guy two, giving chase: "Get back here, those are our cookies!"
friend two: "We paid for them - have them bake some more." Then we got in our shuttle van and left, munching cookies.
Sack-Religious
Footballguy
This was pretty bachelory, though it happened when we were all in our late 30s, most of us married with kids.Me and a dozen or so other guys were on a golf trip in San diego a few years ago. I was in the first foursome to finish playing one day and we went into the clubhouse bar. I've posted this story before, it was the same day we hired Hooters girls for caddies, were all blitzed by this point. Anyway, there was a small outing going on in a sectioned off area of the room, with a buffet. Me and another guy walked up to the buffet and each assembled a chicken fajita. guy next to us: "Are you with the group?"me: "yes" - not a lie, I was with a group.him: "The Deloitte group?"my friend: "No, the BC group."him: "This is a private party."me: "Oh. Can we keep the fajitas?"him: "I guess so."Then we walked around the corner and sat at a table away from the outing group. The next foursome of our friends rolls in after finishing golf, ask where we got the food, and we point them to the buffet saying "they don't mind". The four of them meandered up, made plates, and walked back and joined us. Me and my friend see three Deloitte guys are following, and scurry away towards the bar, but within earshot....guy one: "What do you guys think you're doing?"friend one: "We didn't realize it was a private party." guy two: "Are you idiots?"friend two: "I didn't think so, but maybe."guy one: "I'm paying for this, it's $25 a plate."friend two: "Fine, here." - takes a waded up $100 out of his pocket and sticks it in the guy's chest, then heads back to the buffet and picks up a platter that contains 20 - 25 giant chocolate chip cookies.waiter: "Hey, put that down, you can't take that."friend two: "Sorry, you're right." Puts platter down, pulls shirt out of pants and makes a pouch to carry the stacks of cookies, then turn and walks out.guy two, giving chase: "Get back here, those are our cookies!"friend two: "We paid for them - have them bake some more." Then we got in our shuttle van and left, munching cookies.
Awesome!!
koby925
Footballguy
This story makes me crack of every time. I love this exchange:guy two: "Are you idiots?"friend two: "I didn't think so, but maybe."This was pretty bachelory, though it happened when we were all in our late 30s, most of us married with kids.Me and a dozen or so other guys were on a golf trip in San diego a few years ago. I was in the first foursome to finish playing one day and we went into the clubhouse bar. I've posted this story before, it was the same day we hired Hooters girls for caddies, were all blitzed by this point. Anyway, there was a small outing going on in a sectioned off area of the room, with a buffet. Me and another guy walked up to the buffet and each assembled a chicken fajita. guy next to us: "Are you with the group?"me: "yes" - not a lie, I was with a group.him: "The Deloitte group?"my friend: "No, the BC group."him: "This is a private party."me: "Oh. Can we keep the fajitas?"him: "I guess so."Then we walked around the corner and sat at a table away from the outing group. The next foursome of our friends rolls in after finishing golf, ask where we got the food, and we point them to the buffet saying "they don't mind". The four of them meandered up, made plates, and walked back and joined us. Me and my friend see three Deloitte guys are following, and scurry away towards the bar, but within earshot....guy one: "What do you guys think you're doing?"friend one: "We didn't realize it was a private party." guy two: "Are you idiots?"friend two: "I didn't think so, but maybe."guy one: "I'm paying for this, it's $25 a plate."friend two: "Fine, here." - takes a waded up $100 out of his pocket and sticks it in the guy's chest, then heads back to the buffet and picks up a platter that contains 20 - 25 giant chocolate chip cookies.waiter: "Hey, put that down, you can't take that."friend two: "Sorry, you're right." Puts platter down, pulls shirt out of pants and makes a pouch to carry the stacks of cookies, then turn and walks out.guy two, giving chase: "Get back here, those are our cookies!"friend two: "We paid for them - have them bake some more." Then we got in our shuttle van and left, munching cookies.
Stoneys
MudCat
This was pretty bachelory, though it happened when we were all in our late 30s, most of us married with kids.Me and a dozen or so other guys were on a golf trip in San diego a few years ago. I was in the first foursome to finish playing one day and we went into the clubhouse bar. I've posted this story before, it was the same day we hired Hooters girls for caddies, were all blitzed by this point. Anyway, there was a small outing going on in a sectioned off area of the room, with a buffet. Me and another guy walked up to the buffet and each assembled a chicken fajita. guy next to us: "Are you with the group?"me: "yes" - not a lie, I was with a group.him: "The Deloitte group?"my friend: "No, the BC group."him: "This is a private party."me: "Oh. Can we keep the fajitas?"him: "I guess so."Then we walked around the corner and sat at a table away from the outing group. The next foursome of our friends rolls in after finishing golf, ask where we got the food, and we point them to the buffet saying "they don't mind". The four of them meandered up, made plates, and walked back and joined us. Me and my friend see three Deloitte guys are following, and scurry away towards the bar, but within earshot....guy one: "What do you guys think you're doing?"friend one: "We didn't realize it was a private party." guy two: "Are you idiots?"friend two: "I didn't think so, but maybe."guy one: "I'm paying for this, it's $25 a plate."friend two: "Fine, here." - takes a waded up $100 out of his pocket and sticks it in the guy's chest, then heads back to the buffet and picks up a platter that contains 20 - 25 giant chocolate chip cookies.waiter: "Hey, put that down, you can't take that."friend two: "Sorry, you're right." Puts platter down, pulls shirt out of pants and makes a pouch to carry the stacks of cookies, then turn and walks out.guy two, giving chase: "Get back here, those are our cookies!"friend two: "We paid for them - have them bake some more." Then we got in our shuttle van and left, munching cookies.
That Little Voice
Footballguy
comfortably numb
Footballguy
I did this for like 2 years.Signed up all of my family, made up a bunch of names.12 freeget 4 for a referral.I would have to buy 1 in a year.I would wait til the sale was buy 1 get 3 free.Then I would sell them all on ebay.My cost ended up being about $3 each.I would sell them on ebay for about $6-12 each.BMG must have thought it was wierd that I would order the same 2 Insane Clown Posse CD's 26 times.Or getting his friends Morris and Horace to join as each other's referral friends, reaping the benefits of 18 cds a pop instead of 12. Plus 3 a month.Borris could have made a lot more by "returning" the CDs to Walmart. They don't require a receipt.I'm pretty sure the guys at Columbia Music or whatever that outfit was that would sell 12 CDs/tapes for a penny each if you joined their club are still looking for "Borris Fezbitt". Old Borris abused their membership, taking virtually all the brand new CDs he got mailed to him at the nebulous fraternity house address and immediately selling them to the local music store for 2-3 bucks each.
I found for some reason, they would sell anywhere from 10-16 consistently.
Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
Have you ever seen their fans?
glumpy
breeze
Seemed pretty cush to me at the time--but I'm a camper from way back. The 4 months prior I was living out of my car, eating at the restaurant I managed and showering at my GF's. Prior to that it seemed like a good situation--4 bedroom apartment with girls in the other three--but that wore thin really quick!
Had to remind myself of the Dust Bowl history--man that was even rougher than I remembered....
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
I killed a bunch of whores for stealing my hand-me-down ironing board.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Papa Georgio
Footballguy
Everyone messes with the drunk passed out guy.
In my group our thing was to put make up on them. After, we would hopefully wake them up and go to the gas-n-sip for nachos.
You didn't want to be the drunk passed out guy.
In my group our thing was to put make up on them. After, we would hopefully wake them up and go to the gas-n-sip for nachos.
You didn't want to be the drunk passed out guy.
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Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
Bar with pool table drunks are good. This one guy would pass out sitting in the stool, we'd lean a bunch of sticks against him then make a loud noise.
strykerpks
Footballguy
Nice ponytail. Why'd you cut it off?
Bob Loblaw
Footballguy
In college, on a munchie mission, we would go to Safeway and eat cookies from the bakery. A couple of us would take empty soda cups and lids from the deli, walk over to the liquor aisle, open bottles of Jack and pour into cup. Too bad that isn't possible today.
Once when we were low on maryjane, we smoked some banana peels.
I had a friend that worked at a sporting goods store. He'd empty out a Coleman cooler, fill it with Nikes, and have another friend (non-employee) buy the cooler. Then return the cooler the next day. I got a pair of the first gen Griffeys and a couple of other hoop shoes from the deal.
I still go to Costco and Trader Joe's for freebies.
Once when we were low on maryjane, we smoked some banana peels.
I had a friend that worked at a sporting goods store. He'd empty out a Coleman cooler, fill it with Nikes, and have another friend (non-employee) buy the cooler. Then return the cooler the next day. I got a pair of the first gen Griffeys and a couple of other hoop shoes from the deal.
I still go to Costco and Trader Joe's for freebies.
Bob Loblaw
Footballguy
In high school and college, I'd buy a tape/CD from the Wherehouse. Record it, then return it before the Return period ended. I could usually get 5-6 tapes/CDs from one purchase.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
He probably got sick of being confused with Penn Jillette.strykerpks said:Nice ponytail. Why'd you cut it off?shuke said:Seaman Ropes said:
Socrates11
Footballguy
Permanent magic marker with us. One time I passed out at a house party, woke up and drove back to the dorms, and passed many people walking back to my room who mysteriously were gawking at me, some pointing and laughing. Get in my room and look in the mirror to see cat whiskers drawn on my face.I consider myself lucky that cat whiskers were all I got. Some friends woke up missing eyebrows. Most woke up with "I LOVE RICHARD" written on their foreheads.Papa Georgio said:
Ned
Footballguy
- Think I was 19, had just moved out. Had a cousin's wedding to go to and Mom was adamant that I wear a jacket to the wedding (not just shirt/tie). So I spent a good hour in the store trying to find a jacket that had all the tags sewn on. Found one, bought it. Wore it to the wedding. Next day hand stitched all the tags back on and returned it saying I didn't need it.
- This is more hick than bachelor, I guess. But me and the roommate routinely sat on the roof of his huge van drinking Busch Lite and talking about anything under the stars. Each empty would be chucked into the front yard until the next morning. Had our fair share of county cop visits telling us we needed to clean up the mess.
- Woodstock '99. We were all 20 at the time, but wanted to get booze in. After much trial and error, we found gallon jugs of water where we could pop the top off without breaking the safety seal. Poured the water out of 2 jugs and filled it with cheap vodka (tall plastic bottles with red/black label - can't remember the name for the life of me). Went thru security checks and they slid the jugs right down the table without a glance. GB warm vodka and country time lemonade mix.
- This is more hick than bachelor, I guess. But me and the roommate routinely sat on the roof of his huge van drinking Busch Lite and talking about anything under the stars. Each empty would be chucked into the front yard until the next morning. Had our fair share of county cop visits telling us we needed to clean up the mess.
- Woodstock '99. We were all 20 at the time, but wanted to get booze in. After much trial and error, we found gallon jugs of water where we could pop the top off without breaking the safety seal. Poured the water out of 2 jugs and filled it with cheap vodka (tall plastic bottles with red/black label - can't remember the name for the life of me). Went thru security checks and they slid the jugs right down the table without a glance. GB warm vodka and country time lemonade mix.
joffer
Footballguy
I got giant black arrows drawn up both legs towards my ###hole with "Insert Here" in huge letters on my thighs. couldn't wear shorts for a while
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
I knew a guy that ended up doing time for pulling this scam but it was at Office Max and filing cabinets. He'd put everything from software to laptops into a cabinet and a buddy would come in and buy it. And I get pissed off if I go to Sam's Club and there aren't any good samples.
Things I've actually said to my wife at Sam's:
"If they don't have any good samples I'm not buying anything today."
"Tea? A sample of tea? Oh boy, I wonder how that tea tastes
""I know you don't want any trail mix but come over anyway so I can have yours too."
"If I turn my hat around backwards she won't realize that I came back for another cookie."
Ned
Footballguy
Had a friend do this for us at a local camping store with birks stuffed in sleeping bags. Still have a pair of them sitting at the bottom of my closet, I think.
bostonfred
Footballguy
I've bought a lot of giant containers of worthless crap at BJs, but the worst was a tub of 500 Vitaballs. They're gumballs, but filled with vitamins, so you get your RDA of dozens of essential nutrients while you chew a piece of gum. The only problem was that the grape flavor could more accurately be described as grape and fish oil, while the cherry flavor had more of a cherry and fish oil taste. I never tried the other flavors, but if anyone would like 498 Vitaballs from earlier this decade, I may still have them in a box that I moved but never unpacked.
Speaking of which, I still have a couple boxes and some old stereo speakers that I packed in high school and haven't used since. My wife would probably refer to that as a bachelor thing.
Speaking of which, I still have a couple boxes and some old stereo speakers that I packed in high school and haven't used since. My wife would probably refer to that as a bachelor thing.
Ned
Footballguy
POPOV! Yes that was it!
FatMax
Member
I was into check kiting before I knew what I was doing had a name and was illegal. It would work out like this:
Write a check to the local store for beer and food, when my account balance was hovering around $5 or so, usually a check worth about $20. Two days later, go the same store, buy more beer, but write the check for $30 over the amount. Pocket $10, then deposit the rest to cover the check previous check. Repeat.
I lived like this for an entire month once before it all came crashing down. I also had several two to three week runs as well.
Write a check to the local store for beer and food, when my account balance was hovering around $5 or so, usually a check worth about $20. Two days later, go the same store, buy more beer, but write the check for $30 over the amount. Pocket $10, then deposit the rest to cover the check previous check. Repeat.
I lived like this for an entire month once before it all came crashing down. I also had several two to three week runs as well.
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wazoo11
Footballguy
I washed and reuse plastic cups from fast food joints.
My one roommate became incredibly good at catching the mice on traps. He'd get 1 or 2 on one trap. One time I saw he had caught 3 on one trap, but he didn't throw them away yet. I told him it was gross and to take care of it. He said ok, got a bottle of Febreeze, and Febreezed the mice. He went back into his room and didn't go near them again.
My one roommate became incredibly good at catching the mice on traps. He'd get 1 or 2 on one trap. One time I saw he had caught 3 on one trap, but he didn't throw them away yet. I told him it was gross and to take care of it. He said ok, got a bottle of Febreeze, and Febreezed the mice. He went back into his room and didn't go near them again.
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
Band name
rick6668
Footballguy
A buddy of mine used to go to the local convenience store and take the biggest bag of chips off the shelf. Open them and start eating them while walking around the store. He'd take some of the chips out and then fill the bag with subs, beef jerky, candy, and then place those chips back on top. Go to the register and pay for the chips while eating from the bag.
Different buddy and I both worked at this same store. He used to take 1/4 kegs out of the place out the back door, bring them to a party and charge everyone for beer. Then he'd take the empty keg back the next day for the $10 deposit.
One night after a party, we went there to get lunch, we bought 2 huge french breads and a whole bunch of cold cuts and weighed them at .01 a pound. The best subs I ever had.
Different buddy and I both worked at this same store. He used to take 1/4 kegs out of the place out the back door, bring them to a party and charge everyone for beer. Then he'd take the empty keg back the next day for the $10 deposit.
One night after a party, we went there to get lunch, we bought 2 huge french breads and a whole bunch of cold cuts and weighed them at .01 a pound. The best subs I ever had.
bostonfred
Footballguy
When did this thread change from wacky bachelor antics to how I used to steal?
Shooter McGavin
Down the middle
Borris Fezbitt
Footballguy
I'm pretty sure it was my fault. Sorry.
Thorn
Footballguy
say hi to Horace and Morris for me.PS can you get me a copy of that White Lion album?
Sack-Religious
Footballguy
