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WWYD- somebody following you and your kid (1 Viewer)

El Floppo

El Floppo

Footballguy
Took my daughter (10) via public transportation (2 subways to a bus) to a tennis camp on Randall's Island in the East River of NYC. Nothing else there but sports and recreation fields.

Afterwards, we get on the bus to head back to the subway in Manhattan. Again- nothing else on this place except recreation facilities and some odd other industries. We sit down in am open seat in front of young 20s dude who immediately gave me the creeps- enough that I considered moving, but not enough empty seats.

We get out at 125th St and Lex Ave- a busy intersection in Harlem to catch the first train back downtown home. Lots of people get off the bus there to transfer to the subway, including the creep behind us.

We head down very two busy platforms to catch our train. When we sit down, the creep sits opposite us. Lots of possible trains and directions to transfer to, odd coincidence he's on our train and sitting right across from us.

At Union Square, we transfer across the busy platform to our second train. Creep sits down opposite us.

At our stop when we get onto the platform, I start heading to the left exit and then shift to the right one- creep is following us on the platform.

We get out onto the street and I start zig-zagging blocks instead of walking direct towards home...just in case it's all a complete coincidence that the guy and us have taken 3 different modes of transportation between two distant parts of the city. But he's still following us.

So- what would you do?

Tldr- a creep follows you and your kid for an hour on different types of public transportation and on foot- what would you do?

 
Tough one with your kid involved.  Was there any law enforcement/security around that you could have stopped and talked to?  Just stopping and talking to an authority might have been enough to send the creep on his way and off your trail.

You will probably get some replies about confronting the guy, but I don't think that is the right answer.

 
Was the creep just minding his own business on the train so to speak…on a phone or something, or was there like eye contact, really keeping you guys in his sights that you noticed?

 
WDIK2 said:
Tough one with your kid involved.  Was there any law enforcement/security around that you could have stopped and talked to?  Just stopping and talking to an authority might have been enough to send the creep on his way and off your trail.

You will probably get some replies about confronting the guy, but I don't think that is the right answer.
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No LE unfortunately

 
ShamrockPride said:
Was the creep just minding his own business on the train so to speak…on a phone or something, or was there like eye contact, really keeping you guys in his sights that you noticed?
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He was looking at or towards us, but no eye contact. My daughter noticed him right away (great instincts) and noticed him following us.

 
I'd have gone into a busy fast food spot to grab a drink/ice cream. If he follows, I'd have called the cops.

 
did you stare directly at him? a lot of times, when creeps know you're onto them, it unnerves them and they will break off. 

 
Manster said:
I mean I spose if there was a cop or something near, get them involved.....otherwise, I'm confronting the dude....I mean if I feel like he's a threat, I will do what I need to stop the threat.....and hopefully he makes the right choice and bolts.
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And if he doesn't? And your kid is there?

 
I would walk your kid to the nearest relatively busy store/restaurant  and see if he still follows.  If he does—I’d call the non-emergency police number and tell them what is going on.  I’d probably even recommend pointing your phone at the creep and snapping a pic to see if that scares him away.  

 
Last edited by a moderator:
jvdesigns2002 said:
I would walk your kid to the nearest relatively busy store/restaurant  and see if he still follows.  If he does—I’d call the non-emergency police number and tell them what is going on.  I’d probably even recommend pointing your phone at the creep and snapping a pic to see if that scares him away.  
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Exactly the plan if this happens again. But tbh, straight to emergency number. Non-emergency is for noise and quality of life complaints...this guy felt like a threat.

 
Manster said:
I don't follow....I mean #### happens, right?  Obviously I do not want an altercation, but I'm also not going to let the dude jump us on a side street or something.
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So- I mentioned already, but 2-3 stops wouldn't be that unusual to be on the same train. But yeah, after switching trains that was the plan if we weren't already getting off at the second stop.

 
El Floppo said:
At Union Square, we transfer across the busy platform to our second train. Creep sits down opposite us.
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This is the 3rd ride you've shared with him and time to "confront" him in a friendly, "what a coincidence" kind of way.  This is a good way to gauge his temperament and tact.  If he compliments your daughter's beauty or something you know you have a real weirdo creeper on your hands.  

 
El Floppo said:
Took my daughter (10) via public transportation (2 subways to a bus) to a tennis camp on Randall's Island in the East River of NYC. Nothing else there but sports and recreation fields.

Afterwards, we get on the bus to head back to the subway in Manhattan. Again- nothing else on this place except recreation facilities and some odd other industries. We sit down in am open seat in front of young 20s dude who immediately gave me the creeps- enough that I considered moving, but not enough empty seats.

We get out at 125th St and Lex Ave- a busy intersection in Harlem to catch the first train back downtown home. Lots of people get off the bus there to transfer to the subway, including the creep behind us.

We head down very two busy platforms to catch our train. When we sit down, the creep sits opposite us. Lots of possible trains and directions to transfer to, odd coincidence he's on our train and sitting right across from us.

At Union Square, we transfer across the busy platform to our second train. Creep sits down opposite us.

At our stop when we get onto the platform, I start heading to the left exit and then shift to the right one- creep is following us on the platform.

We get out onto the street and I start zig-zagging blocks instead of walking direct towards home...just in case it's all a complete coincidence that the guy and us have taken 3 different modes of transportation between two distant parts of the city. But he's still following us.

So- what would you do?

Tldr- a creep follows you and your kid for an hour on different types of public transportation and on foot- what would you do?
Click to expand...
walk into a police precinct

 
El Floppo said:
I tried, he'd look away as soon as my gaze turned towards his.
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You needed to immediately lick your lips when you caught him.

On a serious note, I would have gone with either a busy store, or the "hey did you forget ____" and doubled back at an intersection.

 
After zig-zagging around a few blocks after getting out of the subway, I headed to Houston St- very busy with people- and turned around to confront him.

Told him he needs to walk a different direction and stop following a little girl. His response was something along the lines of "you need to put your corona virus mask on". Had this exchange a couple more times, me getting louder- (drawing small crowd), ready to hit him with my metal water bottle if he made a move, and then said I was calling the cops if he didn't #### off in a different direction. "Go ahead". So I did. When he figured I actually was speaking to 911, he left in the opposite direction. I waited 15 minutes for the police to get there. They took our report and left looking for him (and followed up later to ask of we got home ok). 

In retrospect, I should have walked into a store or restaurant, called the cops and start filming him if he followed us in. A busy street was my first thought though, and better than side street or long walk to a police station. I like Fish's taxi idea too.

I felt like if the guy wasnt making  any moves on the train and staying in his seat, he wasn't a threat...even if he was being a creep. Once he took it to the street and was clearly following us, enough was enough.

 
El Floppo said:
After zig-zagging around a few blocks after getting out of the subway, I headed to Houston St- very busy with people- and turned around to confront him.

Told him he needs to walk a different direction and stop following a little girl. His response was something along the lines of "you need to put your corona virus mask on". Had this exchange a couple more times, me getting louder- (drawing small crowd), ready to hit him with my metal water bottle if he made a move, and then said I was calling the cops if he didn't #### off in a different direction. "Go ahead". So I did. When he figured I actually was speaking to 911, he left in the opposite direction. I waited 15 minutes for the police to get there. They took our report and left looking for him (and followed up later to ask of we got home ok). 

In retrospect, I should have walked into a store or restaurant, called the cops and start filming him if he followed us in. A busy street was my first thought though, and better than side street or long walk to a police station. I like Fish's taxi idea too.

I felt like if the guy wasnt making  any moves on the train and staying in his seat, he wasn't a threat...even if he was being a creep. Once he took it to the street and was clearly following us, enough was enough.
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I’d like to say that having my kid with me would lead to a different choice but I know myself. I would have confronted him too and earlier. I’ve had many encounters with weirdos in the city and I don’t hesitate to make them the center of attention. It’s  usually is enough to scare them off. 
 

Sorry gb. Scary thing to have happen with your kids. 

 
I think this is a where did you grow up kinda thing. Where I grew up you have to confront the dude at some point. It's a judgment call that comes with experience dealing with creeps in the city. You have to know which are just crazy and you want to ignore and not engage. 9/10 times your behavior dictates the reaction. Because this dude never engaged you he was not looney tunes but just off and not physically threatening. 

I think you handled it well. Engaging him in a busy area was wise. You can also enlist the help of another able bodied male if you see the opportunity. Most dudes will at least provide the appearance of backing you up and that could be enough. 

I have 2 daughters and have had similar experiences and If I sense we're working with a creep I will usually engage the person with my eyes. There is no confusion that I am focused on them. I will stare them down, never looking away. Even if he turns away I will continue to stare non stop. This will cause the person to either walk away or speak to you directly. 

 
YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR CORONA VIRUS MASK ON!?!? SHAME!!! :sarcasm:

I wouldn't have followed you though, quite the opposite.

 
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