You can't judge a book by its cover. (1 Viewer)

[Christo]

Truer words were never spoken.

 

[sports_fan]

A man standing on the toilet is high on pot.

 

[Long Ball Larry]

I don't care if the horse is blind, you still load the wagon.

 

[BigSteelThrill]

I don't care if the horse is blind, you still load the wagon.

~John Madden~

 

[Hot Diggity Dog]

Happier than a dog with two #####.

 

[Henry Ford]

Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery.

 

[Thorn]

I was born at night, but not last night.

 

[FreeBaGeL]

A man standing on the toilet is high on pot.

a*

 

[Eephus]

It takes a big dog to weigh a ton

 

[Jayrod]

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.

 

[skol asylum]

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Steven Wright

 

[McGarnicle]

A #### in the ##### is worth #### #### #### that mother####er in the ####.

 

[Osaurus]

A #### in the ##### is worth #### #### #### that mother####er in the ####.

Samuel L. Jackson?

 

[DiStefano]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't have him cross the bridge before he comes to it.

 

[Limp Ditka]

Grease don't taste good, taste tastes good

 

[skol asylum]

Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.

 

[Aerial Assault]

Pain don't hurt

 

[sdp1226]

Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

 

[Ilov80s]

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

 

[Parrothead]

I never ####ed a '10' but one summer I ####ed five '2's..

 

[skol asylum]

What's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

 

[jon_mx]

When in Rome, walk like an Egyptian.

 

[PlasmaDogPlasma]

Life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead

 

[Tecumseh]

If she smokes, she pokes.

 

[BustedKnuckles]

i saw a homeless guy with no hands and he was #### faced drunk.......i thought ''Now that's a person who cant hold his Liquor ''

 

[TheAristocrat]

If she smokes, she pokes.

So Midwestern. Yet accurate.

 

[timschochet]

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you are drunk!"

Winston Churchill: "And you, madam, are ugly. And in the morning I shall be sober."

 

[Jayrod]

i saw a homeless guy with no hands and he was #### faced drunk.......i thought ''Now that's a person who cant hold his Liquor ''

MItch Hedberg?

 

[Foosball God]

In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

You can if the cover is solid gold and the book is a bunch of blank pages.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever.

 

[pollardsvision]

If you need a 5th for the 4th, you better get it on the 3rd.

 

[Ilov80s]

If you need a 5th for the 4th, you better get it on the 3rd.

And you may as well get a 2nd 1.

 

[mquinnjr]

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” - Will Rogers

 

[sports_fan]

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” - Will Rogers

the reason i have a tri-fold wallet

 

[Mr. Ected]

I miss George Carlin...

There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? S###, piss, f###, c###, c##k#####r, mother####er and t##s.

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”