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***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter Woz
- Start date
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
"Run naked in the wild" turned out to be a euphemism. Who would have guessed?
I'd say it was a success.Here's the long version.Had an easy day at work, so I was able to leave at six. Decided I didn't want to go to this date totally sober, but couldn't find anyone to grab a quick drink with. Poked my head into a couple of bars but they were loud and crowded and wasn't feeling it. Went to the liquor store, got a shooter of rum, walked to the subway, looked around for kids and police, saw I was in the clear and downed it. Easily a top-5 moment as far as feeling like a drunk and/or a homeless person. Whatever.Got to the bar at 7 and it was dark and crowded. I'm thinking crap, how the hell am I going to know which asian girl she is? This is bad. So I text her that I'm at the bar and it's crowded but I'm in the back. She texts back a few minutes later saying she just got out of the subway, will be there in five. I then order a beer and proceed to figure out how to best stand so I look cool when she walks in. Well, standing by myself for 10 minutes didn't feel very cool. Checked my phone and she also texted me "where is the bar again?" I decide to call the brain surgeon, and as I'm dialing her I see her walking towards me. We do a sort of awkward hi/hug/kiss on the cheek. Bar was also loud and I don't think either of us heard what we were saying at first.After that, tho, it went great. We sat in a booth in the back, talked for about an hour. She was cute with a good body but not super hot. That's fine. Definitely good looking enough to hook up with. Biggest downside was my ####### blackberry didn't stop with work. Of course I have a slow day and then right at 7 I start getting a bunch of e-mails. I felt like a huge ##### answering emails in front of her and apologized a few times. She seemed to get it. She later let on that she no longer had to leave at 9, but I told her unfortunately I did cause I needed to go do work. She seemed to take it well. I walked her to where we would split, and I was so annoyed with work that I didn't even try and make a move. I went to give her a kiss on the cheek goodbye and she went to kiss me on the lips. OOOF. Have to say, first time in my life that happened. I said I had a great time, she said she did, too, and I turned around and left. Then five minutes later she texted me thanking me for the drinks and saying she had fun; I texted back and said I would make it up to her and take her out to dinner on Tuesday.Assuming as of today she still likes me, I think I'm in good shape for Tuesday.Oh. After I got done with work, I went out with my buddies and got hammered. Got the number of some black girl who was taller than me and some blonde girl who was uglier than me. Not sure what I'm going to do with those.
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Samuel L Bronkowitz
Footballguy
offdee
Footballguy
It's called an Off button. You're on a date, leave work be.I don't care how hot the chick would be, if she pulls out her phone and starts texting/emailing during the initial stages of first meeting and getting to know each other, she is not getting to date #2. I'd expect the same from her if I pulled that move.candy bar said:
Zow
Footballguy
Yet, without a doubt, this girl still likes him. He could easily have sex with her on the next date after the attempted kiss, invitation to stay out longer, and 5 minute after thank you text. Dinner, no work talk, and she'll be more than open to an invitation for drinks at one of their places. Enjoy, good buddy
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
candy bar is in the import/export business.
Major
Footballguy
true dat..."I hold it down like beers at intersections" - Commoncandy bar said:
You're right, of course. The problem is my job. I get paid a lot of money, not because I'm smart or skilled or unique; I get paid because I'm available. All the time. So yeah, it sucks, it would piss me off if the girl did it, and it's unacceptable. But that's the deal with the devil I made.
Thanks, GB. Sadly, I can't control the fact that work won't pop up again on the date, but we can cross fingers. At least this time I'll give a heads up to the guy I work with and maybe he'll go easy on me.I thought about waiting until tomorrow to text her, but I thought I'd play the "I'm six years older than you and not a games player" card and texted her this afternoon."Sorry again that I had to be so lame last night. Ever been to [restaurant on this street]?" She wrote back in five minutes "no worries! i totally understand and hope you settled what you needed to get done. and no, i have not been there." I wrote back "Ha thanks. I've heard good things about it but never been. How does tues at 8 work?" Two mins later she wrote "perfect.Yet, without a doubt, this girl still likes him. He could easily have sex with her on the next date after the attempted kiss, invitation to stay out longer, and 5 minute after thank you text. Dinner, no work talk, and she'll be more than open to an invitation for drinks at one of their places. Enjoy, good buddy
looking forward to it."Not going to respect to that last text but all signs look very good. Just have to not mess this up now. Go to dinner, get some wine, maybe grab a drink after, and then try and get her to my place. Second date is fair game for that, right?I became much better at life when I realized that not pre-gaming by myself because I would feel like an alcoholic was worse than not pre-gaming.candy bar said:
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Of course. Even if you weren't taking her to dinner. Or especially if you weren't taking her to dinner. YMMV.
Saweet. Fax her over a copy and let me know when she signs.
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
This thread makes me want to get divorced so hard.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
candy bar said:I'd say it was a success.Here's the long version.Had an easy day at work, so I was able to leave at six. Decided I didn't want to go to this date totally sober, but couldn't find anyone to grab a quick drink with. Poked my head into a couple of bars but they were loud and crowded and wasn't feeling it. Went to the liquor store, got a shooter of rum, walked to the subway, looked around for kids and police, saw I was in the clear and downed it. Easily a top-5 moment as far as feeling like a drunk and/or a homeless person. Whatever.Got to the bar at 7 and it was dark and crowded. I'm thinking crap, how the hell am I going to know which asian girl she is? This is bad. So I text her that I'm at the bar and it's crowded but I'm in the back. She texts back a few minutes later saying she just got out of the subway, will be there in five. I then order a beer and proceed to figure out how to best stand so I look cool when she walks in. Well, standing by myself for 10 minutes didn't feel very cool. Checked my phone and she also texted me "where is the bar again?" I decide to call the brain surgeon, and as I'm dialing her I see her walking towards me. We do a sort of awkward hi/hug/kiss on the cheek. Bar was also loud and I don't think either of us heard what we were saying at first.After that, tho, it went great. We sat in a booth in the back, talked for about an hour. She was cute with a good body but not super hot. That's fine. Definitely good looking enough to hook up with. Biggest downside was my ####### blackberry didn't stop with work. Of course I have a slow day and then right at 7 I start getting a bunch of e-mails. I felt like a huge ##### answering emails in front of her and apologized a few times. She seemed to get it. She later let on that she no longer had to leave at 9, but I told her unfortunately I did cause I needed to go do work. She seemed to take it well. I walked her to where we would split, and I was so annoyed with work that I didn't even try and make a move. I went to give her a kiss on the cheek goodbye and she went to kiss me on the lips. OOOF. Have to say, first time in my life that happened. I said I had a great time, she said she did, too, and I turned around and left. Then five minutes later she texted me thanking me for the drinks and saying she had fun; I texted back and said I would make it up to her and take her out to dinner on Tuesday.Assuming as of today she still likes me, I think I'm in good shape for Tuesday.Oh. After I got done with work, I went out with my buddies and got hammered. Got the number of some black girl who was taller than me and some blonde girl who was uglier than me. Not sure what I'm going to do with those.fo shizzle said:
Just make sure you avoid whiskeydick.I became much better at life when I realized that not pre-gaming by myself because I would feel like an alcoholic was worse than not pre-gaming.candy bar said:Atta boy!
Zow
Footballguy
:facepalmThanks, GB. Sadly, I can't control the fact that work won't pop up again on the date, but we can cross fingers. At least this time I'll give a heads up to the guy I work with and maybe he'll go easy on me.I thought about waiting until tomorrow to text her, but I thought I'd play the "I'm six years older than you and not a games player" card and texted her this afternoon.
Enjoy, good buddy
"Sorry again that I had to be so lame last night. Ever been to [restaurant on this street]?" She wrote back in five minutes "no worries! i totally understand and hope you settled what you needed to get done. and no, i have not been there." I wrote back "Ha thanks. I've heard good things about it but never been. How does tues at 8 work?" Two mins later she wrote "perfect.
Not going to respect to that last text but all signs look very good. Just have to not mess this up now. Go to dinner, get some wine, maybe grab a drink after, and then try and get her to my place. Second date is fair game for that, right?
on't ever call yourself so lame unless it is entirely clear you are joking.But yes, you appear to be in the driver's seat. I see no problem, assuming dinner goes well and the signs are there, with suggesting a drink at your place.
No way. Girls love self-deprecating, especially when you're in the situation where she's a bit younger and less successful (at this point) in his career. Much better than trying to look like the douchy lawyer/banker type.Zow said::facepalm
I'll add my iDating experience.
Background: I was married for 10 yrs and have two daughters ages 5 and 3. I found out my wife was having an affair in Dec. of last year. The first few months of knowing my wife was with another guy was horrible. I went out with a girl for valentines day, but I still felt that I was cheating on my wife, even-though by that point I was served with divorce papers. Well a few months later, I was out at a bar with a few of my old classmates, one of my classmates told me she found her finance on chemistry.com. So I signed up on a Monday and that Friday I met a girl the old fasion way. I didn't spend any time on Chemistry since I was no longer looking. Well, after a few months that relationship ended. I got on Chemistry.com again, since my account never closed and I didn't know they just kept automatically renewing me. That week I went out with a girl that didn't have a picture. But she seemed cool, she liked football and Metallica!!!. I set up a date with her that night without, ever seeing a picture of her, We went to the movies, I know it's a lame first date, but I didn't see this girl and I figured if I wasn't interested in her, I could see a movie I been wanting to see for a while. We'll when I met this girl, I found out why she liked football. She played in High school, she wasn't a wr but an Offensive Lineman!!. I wasn't interested but enjoyed the movie. While I went out with the football player, I have been talking to this other girl that was in Texas just putting the finishing touches on her divorce. Miss Texas and I hit it off though email, text and phone. When I looked at her pictures on the web site, I wasn't sure because look looked to good, she looked all primed and proper. I kind of like girls who are a little more on the wild side. Well after talking to her for awhile I found out she had her nipples pierce, tattoo's and a tongue ring. She was also a sex toy consultant... I first started communicating with her in early June, we started getting very heavy in our phone conversations within a couple of weeks. By the end of June I found myself on a plane to Texas, about to have the time of my life..... I'm still with this girl and she has moved in with me, I never been happier.
Background: I was married for 10 yrs and have two daughters ages 5 and 3. I found out my wife was having an affair in Dec. of last year. The first few months of knowing my wife was with another guy was horrible. I went out with a girl for valentines day, but I still felt that I was cheating on my wife, even-though by that point I was served with divorce papers. Well a few months later, I was out at a bar with a few of my old classmates, one of my classmates told me she found her finance on chemistry.com. So I signed up on a Monday and that Friday I met a girl the old fasion way. I didn't spend any time on Chemistry since I was no longer looking. Well, after a few months that relationship ended. I got on Chemistry.com again, since my account never closed and I didn't know they just kept automatically renewing me. That week I went out with a girl that didn't have a picture. But she seemed cool, she liked football and Metallica!!!. I set up a date with her that night without, ever seeing a picture of her, We went to the movies, I know it's a lame first date, but I didn't see this girl and I figured if I wasn't interested in her, I could see a movie I been wanting to see for a while. We'll when I met this girl, I found out why she liked football. She played in High school, she wasn't a wr but an Offensive Lineman!!. I wasn't interested but enjoyed the movie. While I went out with the football player, I have been talking to this other girl that was in Texas just putting the finishing touches on her divorce. Miss Texas and I hit it off though email, text and phone. When I looked at her pictures on the web site, I wasn't sure because look looked to good, she looked all primed and proper. I kind of like girls who are a little more on the wild side. Well after talking to her for awhile I found out she had her nipples pierce, tattoo's and a tongue ring. She was also a sex toy consultant... I first started communicating with her in early June, we started getting very heavy in our phone conversations within a couple of weeks. By the end of June I found myself on a plane to Texas, about to have the time of my life..... I'm still with this girl and she has moved in with me, I never been happier.
Das Boot
Footballguy
God Bless America.GL!
offdee
Footballguy
Probably more appropriate in The Game thread GB.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Pics? I'll take a PM.
Early_10
footballgoddess
I think it's more about owning up to bad behaviour than self depreciating. The apology was warranted and givem. Might want to forewarn her that you have minimal control over turning work off.No way. Girls love self-deprecating, especially when you're in the situation where she's a bit younger and less successful (at this point) in his career. Much better than trying to look like the douchy lawyer/banker type.Zow said::facepalm
Rohn Jambo
Footballguy
Also, wait until at least the 3rd date before showing her your Yorkie pics.I think it's more about owning up to bad behaviour than self depreciating. The apology was warranted and givem. Might want to forewarn her that you have minimal control over turning work off.No way. Girls love self-deprecating, especially when you're in the situation where she's a bit younger and less successful (at this point) in his career. Much better than trying to look like the douchy lawyer/banker type.Zow said::facepalm
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Also, wait until at least the 3rd date before showing her your Yorkie pics.I think it's more about owning up to bad behaviour than self depreciating. The apology was warranted and givem. Might want to forewarn her that you have minimal control over turning work off.No way. Girls love self-deprecating, especially when you're in the situation where she's a bit younger and less successful (at this point) in his career. Much better than trying to look like the douchy lawyer/banker type.:facepalm
My GB's fiancee had a surprise birthday party for his 40th last nigh. It was a rare night for me being at a bar where hot chicks are. I caught at least 6 stealing glances at your St. Louis Bob. Wasn't even wearing the cat ####. Too cold. More like a buffet E.
Zow
Footballguy
You can still that without calling yourself "lame."I think it's more about owning up to bad behaviour than self depreciating. The apology was warranted and givem. Might want to forewarn her that you have minimal control over turning work off.No way. Girls love self-deprecating, especially when you're in the situation where she's a bit younger and less successful (at this point) in his career. Much better than trying to look like the douchy lawyer/banker type.:facepalm
offdee
Footballguy
Best to just drop it.You already contacted her once with no response. Following up anymore comes off as if you have nothing else going on but waiting on her.Just let it go and hope eventually she goes through her messages or is looking for a night out and contacts you out of the blue. Then do the old "oh yeah, I think I remember you" shtick. She'll want to make you remember who she is again....and if she is really that hot it's not often that a guy will forget her so you'll stand out and intrigue her.ETA: if she does contact you again, DO NOT mention how she stood you up. She knows what she did, so you acting like it's no big deal (or better yet, just acting like you totally forgot you were weven supposed to meet up) makes it seem like you have all kinds of other options and no sweat off your back. Her loss, not yours.
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offdee
Footballguy
Oof. If that is really the reason she blew you off than probably better to not have gone down that road at all. I don't care how hot a chick is...if she's needy it's the end. Nothing more unattractive to me than a woman without confidence and independence.
YSR
Footballguy
What are your pet peeves?Tell me your most bizarre/funniest date story.Top 5 movies? (this one is kind of lame, but you can work it in)
Major
Footballguy
secure your tabs firstJust make sure you avoid whiskeydick.I became much better at life when I realized that not pre-gaming by myself because I would feel like an alcoholic was worse than not pre-gaming.Atta boy!
Shtaym Syek
Footballguy
So I think I'm ready to start doing this again. However, my ex's friends do this too - is there a site and a way I can just hide myself from search and only contact the women I want?
Shtaym Syek
Footballguy
They all work at the same place as me. It's just awkward.I suppose you're right, though.proninja said:GB, she is your ex. Who cares if her friends see you dating online?
Drew RosenhausFan
Footballguy
very annoying when you run into a girl you know (but have no desire to date) on a site.
I know online dating doesn't really have as much of a stigma anymore, but its still fairly embarrassing.
edit: i don't even think the semi embarrassing part is that they see I'm trying to meet women online. It's that they get to read the silly nonsense I'm writing in my profile in an effort to reel them in.
I know online dating doesn't really have as much of a stigma anymore, but its still fairly embarrassing.
edit: i don't even think the semi embarrassing part is that they see I'm trying to meet women online. It's that they get to read the silly nonsense I'm writing in my profile in an effort to reel them in.
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Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Yes. Most (if not all) dating sites give you the option of whether or not to make your profile public.Shtaym Syek said:So I think I'm ready to start doing this again. However, my ex's friends do this too - is there a site and a way I can just hide myself from search and only contact the women I want?
Zow
Footballguy
Depends on what you're looking for. If you just want to get laid, plentyoffish, cupid, and match are the best. For a legit relationship, go ehamormony (although plenty of there willing to merely hookup too). If I had to rate them though, from my experience, I'd go this way:1. Eharmony - since it's a pay site, economic law suggests the "better" girls are going to go there to weed out to skeezy guys. Also, and this is IMO a big benefit, matches are limited so when you send a communication you aren't bombarding the girl and competing with the zillions of messages the top chicks would be getting at other sites. Communications are very structed too so the initial first message isn't as pivotal as the other sites - which helped a guy like me who didn't quite know what to put. Downside is it's a ton of work and most of the girls are going to be somewhat religious (which could be bad depending on your tastes)2. Match.com - Has the benefit of being pay like eharmony, yet lacks the structure. However, since it is the most popular, it has by far the greatest total number of hot chicks compared to other sites. Downside is that these hot chicks will be absolutely blitzed with messages. I went out with one once who said she was literally getting 100/day. So, a lot of it comes down to luck. 3. plentyoffish.com - Horrible interface, but for some reason my batting average on this thing was pretty high. Will have your girls really just looking for a fling than anything. 4. Cupid.com - I think I signed up but didn't see a single girl I was attracted to. 5. Yahoo personals - same as above
Zow
Footballguy
I know plentyoffish and match.com do. I think eharmony does as well, but if you do that you may not get any matches sent your way as wellYes. Most (if not all) dating sites give you the option of whether or not to make your profile public.Shtaym Syek said:
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Zow
Footballguy
That's the thing, like I prefaced it everything depends on how you define "best."Eliminate yahoo personals, which no longer exists, and I'd rank them exactly opposite.
Pyscho Wife
Footballguy
Any good updates?
skillz
Footballguy
Ran across this article on marriage which had a few interesting tidbits about idating:
http://www.mlive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/1...html#incart_mce
Reports on marriage in America paint a bleak picture
Published: Thursday, December 16, 2010, 6:00 PM Updated: Friday, December 17, 2010, 7:18 AM
By Troy Reimink | The Grand Rapids Press
Everyone having a nice evening? Cool, want to hear depressing statistics about marriage? A number of recent, received-wisdom-defying reports indicate Americans are becoming more, shall we say, ambivalent toward the idea of marriage. Some interesting facts:
Americans are more and more indifferent toward marriage. A few recent statistics from Time magazine and the Pew Research Center: 39 percent of Americans think marriage is obsolete (up 11 percent since 1978). Fifty-two percent of adults in 2008 were married (down 20 percent since 1960). However, more than two-thirds of Americans surveyed said they were optimistic about the future of marriage (maybe just not the future of their marriages specifically.)
There is a growing class-based marriage gap in America. The big news from a report by the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project is that there's a widening “marriage gap” in America that defies the conventional narrative of the culture wars.
More and more, it's moderately educated, blue-collar “middle America” (i.e. red-state) that's retreating from marriage, while among more culturally liberal, more educated Americans, the institution is strengthening. As New York Times columnist Ross Douthat noted, this purples up the cultural discussion considerably.
You shouldn't marry your soul mate. One of the Marriage Project's more interesting conclusions is that the soul-mate model of marriage (as in, marriage for personal satisfaction) is less sustainable than the institutional one (as in, marriage for practical reasons). The general decline of successful marriages, according to the project's authors, corresponds with a shift from the institutional model to one not based on practical needs.
Since marriage is no longer seen as a requirement for cohabitation or having children or attaining financial stability, people are getting married for more selfish reasons – something tawdry like wanting to be happy.
According to the Time report: “Promising publicly to be someone's partner for life used to be something people did to lay the foundation of their independent life. It was the demarcation of adulthood. Now it's more of a finishing touch, the last brick in the edifice, sociologists believe."
And...it's not working. Bummer.
Marriages in which the woman earns more are likelier to fail. Men who earn less than their wives are 61 percent less happy than their counterparts who earn the bigger chunk of a household's bread. Chalk that up to slow adjustment to shifting gender roles, perhaps, but get this: Husbands who earn less are five times more likely to cheat on their wives, which researchers attribute to emotional stress caused by the unfamiliar disparity in bread-winning prowess.
People who pay to use online dating sites to find a mate are less likely to get married. OK, this doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the Marriage Project or the Pew numbers, but it's still interesting. Earlier this year, Christian Rudder, a founder of the free dating site OkCupid (who admittedly has a dog in the fight) published an epic takedown of competing pay services such as eHarmony and Match. In short, because of the number of “dead” profiles on those sites, a man who sends a message has about a 1 percent chance of getting a response.More damning, the rate of marriage for the percentage of the population at large is more than 12 times that of people who use Match. EHarmony fares better, but still only about 6 percent of that site's users get married. But, say you have a membership and want to improve your odds – research shows you should start by complimenting her lips.
Have a good weekend, everybody.
http://www.mlive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/1...html#incart_mce
Reports on marriage in America paint a bleak picture
Published: Thursday, December 16, 2010, 6:00 PM Updated: Friday, December 17, 2010, 7:18 AM
By Troy Reimink | The Grand Rapids Press
Everyone having a nice evening? Cool, want to hear depressing statistics about marriage? A number of recent, received-wisdom-defying reports indicate Americans are becoming more, shall we say, ambivalent toward the idea of marriage. Some interesting facts:
Americans are more and more indifferent toward marriage. A few recent statistics from Time magazine and the Pew Research Center: 39 percent of Americans think marriage is obsolete (up 11 percent since 1978). Fifty-two percent of adults in 2008 were married (down 20 percent since 1960). However, more than two-thirds of Americans surveyed said they were optimistic about the future of marriage (maybe just not the future of their marriages specifically.)
There is a growing class-based marriage gap in America. The big news from a report by the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project is that there's a widening “marriage gap” in America that defies the conventional narrative of the culture wars.
More and more, it's moderately educated, blue-collar “middle America” (i.e. red-state) that's retreating from marriage, while among more culturally liberal, more educated Americans, the institution is strengthening. As New York Times columnist Ross Douthat noted, this purples up the cultural discussion considerably.
You shouldn't marry your soul mate. One of the Marriage Project's more interesting conclusions is that the soul-mate model of marriage (as in, marriage for personal satisfaction) is less sustainable than the institutional one (as in, marriage for practical reasons). The general decline of successful marriages, according to the project's authors, corresponds with a shift from the institutional model to one not based on practical needs.
Since marriage is no longer seen as a requirement for cohabitation or having children or attaining financial stability, people are getting married for more selfish reasons – something tawdry like wanting to be happy.
According to the Time report: “Promising publicly to be someone's partner for life used to be something people did to lay the foundation of their independent life. It was the demarcation of adulthood. Now it's more of a finishing touch, the last brick in the edifice, sociologists believe."
And...it's not working. Bummer.
Marriages in which the woman earns more are likelier to fail. Men who earn less than their wives are 61 percent less happy than their counterparts who earn the bigger chunk of a household's bread. Chalk that up to slow adjustment to shifting gender roles, perhaps, but get this: Husbands who earn less are five times more likely to cheat on their wives, which researchers attribute to emotional stress caused by the unfamiliar disparity in bread-winning prowess.
People who pay to use online dating sites to find a mate are less likely to get married. OK, this doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the Marriage Project or the Pew numbers, but it's still interesting. Earlier this year, Christian Rudder, a founder of the free dating site OkCupid (who admittedly has a dog in the fight) published an epic takedown of competing pay services such as eHarmony and Match. In short, because of the number of “dead” profiles on those sites, a man who sends a message has about a 1 percent chance of getting a response.More damning, the rate of marriage for the percentage of the population at large is more than 12 times that of people who use Match. EHarmony fares better, but still only about 6 percent of that site's users get married. But, say you have a membership and want to improve your odds – research shows you should start by complimenting her lips.
Have a good weekend, everybody.
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