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Just got back from a week in Park City Utah. Highly recommend if you like skiing and mountains. In the way back we stopped at Antelope Island, it's in the great salt lake. They have wild free roaming buffalo, we saw several that were 50-100 ft from the car. Thought that was cool, have only seen farm raised buffalo before. Skiing was good but what I liked the most is the ski resorts are huge. It took me 5 lifts and 45 minutes to get to the highest bowls at Park City resort. They make my home mountain look like a joke

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HELLO FROM REHAB!!!!   Not sure if anything's been shared but Sunday dinner at my parents' a couple weeks ago was in fact an elaborate ruse to stage an intervention.  Actually it wasn't very

Thanks for all the thropwas everybody.  I'm doing alright, hanging out with family and friends, tipping back cold ones, grilling and enjoying 80 degree weather.  Despite being a little sad, I'm reliev

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I worked at a Chinese restaurant back in the day.  One of the many things I did was answer the phone for delivery/take out.

You would believe the number of people that pull crap like:

Me: (answering the phone in my very white network news+California accent):  “Good evening, Bill Lee’s”

Customer: “Oh herro, Birr Ree’s.  

Me: (really, really white...like Bill Curtis) “Yes, this is Bill Lee’s.  How may I help you this evening?”

Customer: “Oh...uh...heh...uh..yeah, I’d like to place an order for delivery.”

 

Back when I delivered this would happen at least once a month.

Ring doorbell/knock.

Someone inside would yell “CHINESE GUY IS HERE!”

Someone opens the door. “Oh, you’re not Chinese. Hahhhahahahhah.”

Eventually I started replying with “Actually I’m Korean.”

Edited by McJose
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Another good story from the Chinese place.  One of our drivers, OK it was @dickey moe who is uberhonkey, took a delivery to a bunch of dudes.  While he’s waiting for them to get the money together the TV is on.  

This commercial comes on https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6LUjUK9Fyp4

They ask him “Can you do that ####?”

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had a dream that @McJose was sitting in my living room, shirtless, with a 3 day beard, hair that looked like he got attacked by spoons and forks, eating a tv dinner off a tv tray... telling me he was in town to teach math to guerillas (gorillas?).

fully expected to see him downstairs when i woke up today

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18 hours ago, St. Louis Bob said:

I had the most ####ed up dream this morning.

 

It starts, I'm in a golf tournament with a bunch of buddies.  Except instead of using golf balls, we're using wiffle balls. Because of the way a wiffle ball will curve, every one of my shots ends up hooking or slicing at the end of the shot.  One shot lands in a strippers dressing room and I have to hit the wiffle ball through a small square window, that had glass in it, and to the green.  I make the shot, breaking the glass, and sure as #### it slices off the green.  Thankfully it was the last hole so we grab some beers and head back to the hotel we're staying at.

<<<This is where it get crazy>>>

I'm walking up some steps with a couple of my younger cousins and they tell me they rented a movie to watch.  The title is The Seven, a scary movie.  I don't like scary movies and say as such but next thing I know I'm watching and in the movie.

It starts with a huge museum, probably a 500 foot square room with 100 foot ceilings.  On all of the walls are painted portraits of various sizes.  There's a curator and he's hanging a small painting of a woman next to a large one of a man.  After it's hung the man in the painting says "My darling!" with a southern drawl.  The woman in the painting next to him replies "Oh daddy I have waited so long to hear your voice again!"

Then it is revealed that everyone in the paintings made a deal with the devil for immortal life. Once a year 3 of them would be randomly picked to be put in their bodies again for 24 hours. In that time that had to bring someone back to the museum that was pure of heart to be sacrificed to the devil.  If they succeed they go back on the wall and their portrait is slightly bigger.  If they failed they would be sent to hell. 

There was only one scene attempting to do so and it was of a woman dressed like a southern belle on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor.  She was talking to a girl I could not see trying to convince her that she was scrubbing the floor to be closer to God and there was a museum she really needed to see.

The last scene is there are three painting, I can't see the faces, and the curator has the giant steamer and he's steaming the paint off the canvas's.  I felt like my face was on fire and woke up violently shaking my head

:mellow::oldunsure:

The first half of the dream is you recognizing a goal of yours is very difficult to achieve, and missing it because you hit it into the strippers dressing room.  Which is a magical place where there's nothing but beautiful naked women and drinking and drugs.  So then when you feel like you missed your shot at the end you don't really care because you get to walk off with your friends. 

You're at an age where you might start to have a mid life crisis. Where you feel like time is, maybe not running out, but becoming a finite resource.  And you didn't do all the things you wanted to. But you're also rationalizing your lack of self actualization by saying you has fun and you had friends and that's great 

It also sounds like you're having difficulty dealing with your own mortality and the memories of people you've lost.    In your dream, the passage of time leads to more good people having to die, and you're personifying that as evil.  It's a very creative dream but at its core it's about you dealing with death, and the contrast with how you deal with life in the first dream is fascinating.  In life you're the kind of guy to take your shot, if you miss have fun with it and at least you get to spend time with great people along the way. But death is all about clinging to life and what you would do for one more year and the fear of having your face forgotten/washed away.

It also sounds like you have some real trust issues with southerners.  

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I've noticed a tendency for this thread to get rather silly.  We need to get more serious.  The internet is serious business and those last few pages got very silly indeed.  Now, no one enjoys a good laugh more than I do except perhaps my girlfriend and some of her friends.  Oh yes, and my boss. Come to think of it, most people enjoy a good laugh more than I do, but that's beside the point. Right! Let's get on with this thread.

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Good news: markets closed, no work.

Bad news: I'm stuck watching the kids so my wife can get a much needed day off.

Worse news:  it's only 9:13am and I'm ready to sell 2/3 of them.*

 

 

 

*The older boys won't wake up for hours and tend to hide in their rooms or leave the house when they do finally wake up.  

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14 hours ago, General Malaise said:

We order Korean take out a few times a month from the same joint.  Have for years.  Outstanding place, think I recommended it to @Aaron Rudnicki once upon a time when his sister lived over here near me.

I have a bad habit of mimicking whatever accent I am speaking to over the phone.  If I'm talking to a person in the south, I'm suddenly Sam Elliott.  You're from Boston, I'm now Boston Rob on the other end of the line.  If my amigo from Mexico Sosa calls me at work, I transition into Andres Cantor.  

Anyhow, I order up Korean the other night over the phone and upon arrival, am greeted with my bag of food and a mild admonishment from the guy processing my payment who said; "I always know it's you when you call because you speak with the worst fake Korean accent I've ever heard.  You don't need to do that." :bag:

I asked if I could text orders from now on, but he laughed and said he looks forward to my calls and piss poor attempt at sounding like a Korean.

:lol:

 

My mom does this too (involuntarily). Always super cringey when we travel, even if she turns into Mary Poppins anywhere British.

For the most, I've escaped the curse- but succumb very specifically with "ay fuhgeddabowdit" cabbies or contractors.

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19 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

Good news: markets closed, no work.

Bad news: I'm stuck watching the kids so my wife can get a much needed day off.

Worse news:  it's only 9:13am and I'm ready to sell 2/3 of them.*

 

 

 

*The older boys won't wake up for hours and tend to hide in their rooms or leave the house when they do finally wake up.  

I spent twenty hours in a car with my 4 kids. I will meet you and we can discuss terms of the swap

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29 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

Good news: markets closed, no work.

Bad news: I'm stuck watching the kids so my wife can get a much needed day off.

Worse news:  it's only 9:13am and I'm ready to sell 2/3 of them.*

 

 

 

*The older boys won't wake up for hours and tend to hide in their rooms or leave the house when they do finally wake up.  

I’m off until Tuesday and the wife is getting ready to take the kids to see the Easter bunny while I sit around and watch the tigers game by myself 

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13 hours ago, McJose said:

Another good story from the Chinese place.  One of our drivers, OK it was @dickey moe who is uberhonkey, took a delivery to a bunch of dudes.  While he’s waiting for them to get the money together the TV is on.  

This commercial comes on https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6LUjUK9Fyp4

They ask him “Can you do that ####?”

"Do you have knives?  They won't let me handle the knives anymore. That's why I drive the car.  But I'd love to use YOUR knives.  Go and get them for me.  NOW.  I mean please. PLEASE."

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2 hours ago, bostonfred said:

The first half of the dream is you recognizing a goal of yours is very difficult to achieve, and missing it because you hit it into the strippers dressing room.  Which is a magical place where there's nothing but beautiful naked women and drinking and drugs.  So then when you feel like you missed your shot at the end you don't really care because you get to walk off with your friends. 

You're at an age where you might start to have a mid life crisis. Where you feel like time is, maybe not running out, but becoming a finite resource.  And you didn't do all the things you wanted to. But you're also rationalizing your lack of self actualization by saying you has fun and you had friends and that's great 

It also sounds like you're having difficulty dealing with your own mortality and the memories of people you've lost.    In your dream, the passage of time leads to more good people having to die, and you're personifying that as evil.  It's a very creative dream but at its core it's about you dealing with death, and the contrast with how you deal with life in the first dream is fascinating.  In life you're the kind of guy to take your shot, if you miss have fun with it and at least you get to spend time with great people along the way. But death is all about clinging to life and what you would do for one more year and the fear of having your face forgotten/washed away.

It also sounds like you have some real trust issues with southerners.  

Wow.  I think that is somewhat accurate. 

Except the last sentence. :lmao:

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woman walks in to a McDonald's and shoves an employee to the ground over a sausage biscuit - facing 6 years prison

guy kidnaps his wife, attacks her with an ax and a power grinder - 20k bond, reckless endangerment charge.  (eta: he beat the dog#### out of her, too. did it all after getting drunk in celebration of 1-year sobriety)

 

seems fair

Edited by mr. furley
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Just now, mr. furley said:

woman walks in to a McDonald's and shoves an employee to the ground over a sausage biscuit - facing 6 years prison

guy kidnaps his wife, attacks her with an ax and a power grinder - 20k bond, reckless endangerment charge

 

seems fair

This is the worst joke ever.

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My parents came to visit this weekend to celebrate my daughter's birthday. Apparently they are cleaning out some stuff and brought a big box of old stuff of mine. Some of it was stuff I kept, some awards stuff, some old toys, old photos, etc.

One of the items was memorabilia that I had purchased. I know it will never be worth any money, but my box of Flutie Flakes makes me happy. Only, when I picked it up, the box was way too light. My mom said "I had to open it and toss the cereal because I didn't want rodents to get into it." :angry: It's been 20 years! Nothing was getting into that after 20 years! My freaking mint condition unopened box of Flutie Flakes now just an opened husk of a cereal box. 

I blame @Black Box

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2 days ago my brother went to the hospital because he had a sore on his back.  Yesterday they got test results back and found that his cancer had spread to his liver, lungs and all over.  They said he had a couple weeks to live.  Today at about 3, i talked to a nurse who said he might not make it through the weekend.  Before I even finished the 3 hour drive they had downgraded him to won't last through the night. 

He was able to open his eyes and talk a little, and I brought him a craft beer because that's one of his things.  His eyes lit up and for a minute he was happy and lifted himself up for the only time of the day so he could hold it and sip it without help.  Mostly he's just having difficulty breathing and falling into and out of sleep while my mother and I sit with him. 

I've talked about his bouts with mental illness and homelessness and the police and just trying to get him home and to a safe place.  He's had a tough run in life and he brought some of it on himself but he deserved a lot better than what life gave him.  I am going to miss the kid I looked up to when I was young, the brilliant young man who scored 1470 out of 1600 on his SATs and graduated from one of the top schools in the world, the adult I used to visit at the mental hospital and take him out to play magic the gathering at a Chinese buffet into they went John pinette on us, and the adult who came back after life kept kicking him down and became my friend again. I wasn't always the best brother but I always tried and I know you did your share of trying too. I know these next hours are going to be difficult and I can't help you with that but I'll be here with you while you go and that's the best I can do.

There will be no funeral, no mass.  I'll drive my mom home when this is done and we'll look at pictures and tell stories and cry but his friends from here have moved across the country,  my dad is in Florida and there's very little in the way of extended family left.  He'll have a small plot with a stone for his ashes and only a few of us will know who he was. 

I love you buddy. Once again i wish there was more I could do. You've lived a tough life and after 45 years you've earned some rest.  

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3 minutes ago, bostonfred said:

2 days ago my brother went to the hospital because he had a sore on his back.  Yesterday they got test results back and found that his cancer had spread to his liver, lungs and all over.  They said he had a couple weeks to live.  Today at about 3, i talked to a nurse who said he might not make it through the weekend.  Before I even finished the 3 hour drive they had downgraded him to won't last through the night. 

He was able to open his eyes and talk a little, and I brought him a craft beer because that's one of his things.  His eyes lit up and for a minute he was happy and lifted himself up for the only time of the day so he could hold it and sip it without help.  Mostly he's just having difficulty breathing and falling into and out of sleep while my mother and I sit with him. 

I've talked about his bouts with mental illness and homelessness and the police and just trying to get him home and to a safe place.  He's had a tough run in life and he brought some of it on himself but he deserved a lot better than what life gave him.  I am going to miss the kid I looked up to when I was young, the brilliant young man who scored 1470 out of 1600 on his SATs and graduated from one of the top schools in the world, the adult I used to visit at the mental hospital and take him out to play magic the gathering at a Chinese buffet into they went John pinette on us, and the adult who came back after life kept kicking him down and became my friend again. I wasn't always the best brother but I always tried and I know you did your share of trying too. I know these next hours are going to be difficult and I can't help you with that but I'll be here with you while you go and that's the best I can do.

There will be no funeral, no mass.  I'll drive my mom home when this is done and we'll look at pictures and tell stories and cry but his friends from here have moved across the country,  my dad is in Florida and there's very little in the way of extended family left.  He'll have a small plot with a stone for his ashes and only a few of us will know who he was. 

I love you buddy. Once again i wish there was more I could do. You've lived a tough life and after 45 years you've earned some rest.  

I am very sorry and you and your mom have my condolences.  I am touched by this post, and truly wish you all the best.

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1 hour ago, GroveDiesel said:

My parents came to visit this weekend to celebrate my daughter's birthday. Apparently they are cleaning out some stuff and brought a big box of old stuff of mine. Some of it was stuff I kept, some awards stuff, some old toys, old photos, etc.

One of the items was memorabilia that I had purchased. I know it will never be worth any money, but my box of Flutie Flakes makes me happy. Only, when I picked it up, the box was way too light. My mom said "I had to open it and toss the cereal because I didn't want rodents to get into it." :angry: It's been 20 years! Nothing was getting into that after 20 years! My freaking mint condition unopened box of Flutie Flakes now just an opened husk of a cereal box. 

I blame @Black Box

can you sue her?

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10 minutes ago, bostonfred said:

2 days ago my brother went to the hospital because he had a sore on his back.  Yesterday they got test results back and found that his cancer had spread to his liver, lungs and all over.  They said he had a couple weeks to live.  Today at about 3, i talked to a nurse who said he might not make it through the weekend.  Before I even finished the 3 hour drive they had downgraded him to won't last through the night. 

He was able to open his eyes and talk a little, and I brought him a craft beer because that's one of his things.  His eyes lit up and for a minute he was happy and lifted himself up for the only time of the day so he could hold it and sip it without help.  Mostly he's just having difficulty breathing and falling into and out of sleep while my mother and I sit with him. 

I've talked about his bouts with mental illness and homelessness and the police and just trying to get him home and to a safe place.  He's had a tough run in life and he brought some of it on himself but he deserved a lot better than what life gave him.  I am going to miss the kid I looked up to when I was young, the brilliant young man who scored 1470 out of 1600 on his SATs and graduated from one of the top schools in the world, the adult I used to visit at the mental hospital and take him out to play magic the gathering at a Chinese buffet into they went John pinette on us, and the adult who came back after life kept kicking him down and became my friend again. I wasn't always the best brother but I always tried and I know you did your share of trying too. I know these next hours are going to be difficult and I can't help you with that but I'll be here with you while you go and that's the best I can do.

There will be no funeral, no mass.  I'll drive my mom home when this is done and we'll look at pictures and tell stories and cry but his friends from here have moved across the country,  my dad is in Florida and there's very little in the way of extended family left.  He'll have a small plot with a stone for his ashes and only a few of us will know who he was. 

I love you buddy. Once again i wish there was more I could do. You've lived a tough life and after 45 years you've earned some rest.  

well, i cried.

sorry, Fred

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1 hour ago, bostonfred said:

2 days ago my brother went to the hospital because he had a sore on his back.  Yesterday they got test results back and found that his cancer had spread to his liver, lungs and all over.  They said he had a couple weeks to live.  Today at about 3, i talked to a nurse who said he might not make it through the weekend.  Before I even finished the 3 hour drive they had downgraded him to won't last through the night. 

He was able to open his eyes and talk a little, and I brought him a craft beer because that's one of his things.  His eyes lit up and for a minute he was happy and lifted himself up for the only time of the day so he could hold it and sip it without help.  Mostly he's just having difficulty breathing and falling into and out of sleep while my mother and I sit with him. 

I've talked about his bouts with mental illness and homelessness and the police and just trying to get him home and to a safe place.  He's had a tough run in life and he brought some of it on himself but he deserved a lot better than what life gave him.  I am going to miss the kid I looked up to when I was young, the brilliant young man who scored 1470 out of 1600 on his SATs and graduated from one of the top schools in the world, the adult I used to visit at the mental hospital and take him out to play magic the gathering at a Chinese buffet into they went John pinette on us, and the adult who came back after life kept kicking him down and became my friend again. I wasn't always the best brother but I always tried and I know you did your share of trying too. I know these next hours are going to be difficult and I can't help you with that but I'll be here with you while you go and that's the best I can do.

There will be no funeral, no mass.  I'll drive my mom home when this is done and we'll look at pictures and tell stories and cry but his friends from here have moved across the country,  my dad is in Florida and there's very little in the way of extended family left.  He'll have a small plot with a stone for his ashes and only a few of us will know who he was. 

I love you buddy. Once again i wish there was more I could do. You've lived a tough life and after 45 years you've earned some rest.  

holy ####. so sorry man.

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11 hours ago, General Malaise said:

Good news: markets closed, no work.

Bad news: I'm stuck watching the kids so my wife can get a much needed day off.

Worse news:  it's only 9:13am and I'm ready to sell 2/3 of them.*

 

 

 

*The older boys won't wake up for hours and tend to hide in their rooms or leave the house when they do finally wake up.  

I like how you reduced the fraction here to make it seem like you have less kids.

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11 hours ago, bostonfred said:

2 days ago my brother went to the hospital because he had a sore on his back.  Yesterday they got test results back and found that his cancer had spread to his liver, lungs and all over.  They said he had a couple weeks to live.  Today at about 3, i talked to a nurse who said he might not make it through the weekend.  Before I even finished the 3 hour drive they had downgraded him to won't last through the night. 

He was able to open his eyes and talk a little, and I brought him a craft beer because that's one of his things.  His eyes lit up and for a minute he was happy and lifted himself up for the only time of the day so he could hold it and sip it without help.  Mostly he's just having difficulty breathing and falling into and out of sleep while my mother and I sit with him. 

I've talked about his bouts with mental illness and homelessness and the police and just trying to get him home and to a safe place.  He's had a tough run in life and he brought some of it on himself but he deserved a lot better than what life gave him.  I am going to miss the kid I looked up to when I was young, the brilliant young man who scored 1470 out of 1600 on his SATs and graduated from one of the top schools in the world, the adult I used to visit at the mental hospital and take him out to play magic the gathering at a Chinese buffet into they went John pinette on us, and the adult who came back after life kept kicking him down and became my friend again. I wasn't always the best brother but I always tried and I know you did your share of trying too. I know these next hours are going to be difficult and I can't help you with that but I'll be here with you while you go and that's the best I can do.

There will be no funeral, no mass.  I'll drive my mom home when this is done and we'll look at pictures and tell stories and cry but his friends from here have moved across the country,  my dad is in Florida and there's very little in the way of extended family left.  He'll have a small plot with a stone for his ashes and only a few of us will know who he was. 

I love you buddy. Once again i wish there was more I could do. You've lived a tough life and after 45 years you've earned some rest.  

Sorry for your loss Fred. I know there is not much solace in this but you are a tremendous brother and friend to him.

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11 hours ago, bostonfred said:

2 days ago my brother went to the hospital because he had a sore on his back.  Yesterday they got test results back and found that his cancer had spread to his liver, lungs and all over.  They said he had a couple weeks to live.  Today at about 3, i talked to a nurse who said he might not make it through the weekend.  Before I even finished the 3 hour drive they had downgraded him to won't last through the night. 

He was able to open his eyes and talk a little, and I brought him a craft beer because that's one of his things.  His eyes lit up and for a minute he was happy and lifted himself up for the only time of the day so he could hold it and sip it without help.  Mostly he's just having difficulty breathing and falling into and out of sleep while my mother and I sit with him. 

I've talked about his bouts with mental illness and homelessness and the police and just trying to get him home and to a safe place.  He's had a tough run in life and he brought some of it on himself but he deserved a lot better than what life gave him.  I am going to miss the kid I looked up to when I was young, the brilliant young man who scored 1470 out of 1600 on his SATs and graduated from one of the top schools in the world, the adult I used to visit at the mental hospital and take him out to play magic the gathering at a Chinese buffet into they went John pinette on us, and the adult who came back after life kept kicking him down and became my friend again. I wasn't always the best brother but I always tried and I know you did your share of trying too. I know these next hours are going to be difficult and I can't help you with that but I'll be here with you while you go and that's the best I can do.

There will be no funeral, no mass.  I'll drive my mom home when this is done and we'll look at pictures and tell stories and cry but his friends from here have moved across the country,  my dad is in Florida and there's very little in the way of extended family left.  He'll have a small plot with a stone for his ashes and only a few of us will know who he was. 

I love you buddy. Once again i wish there was more I could do. You've lived a tough life and after 45 years you've earned some rest.  

I'm so sorry. What a gift for your brother to have a mom and a brother there for him at a time like this when he has had so many struggles. To have love and support of loved ones there with him as he departs despite all those circumstances is something you should take heart in. I'm sure that you've previously worried about getting a call of him being found somewhere heartbreaking where he was alone. That he is in a place where you could be there with him proving the comfort of your love is something positive in such a heart wrenching situation.

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