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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing


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3 hours ago, Uruk-Hai said:

Need some wine advice as I got drafted to bring it for Thanksgiving dinner. Turkey, a metric tonne of starches, and some vegan stuff are being served.

My knowledge of wine is basically that I know not to bring the 7 bottles of TJ Swan a friend & I drank one night in 1978.

Riesling and Gerwutztraminer are both solid for Thanksgiving. If the crowd likes sweet it will accommodate them, but wine snobs will also be okay with it. Cali for the Gerwutz and Dr. Losen for the Riesling 

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A farmer has 895 sheep.”

Realizing that this is quite a lot of sheep for one farm, and Jess the sheepdog is getting a bit old, he decides he'll probably need a new dog- no, a whole team of dogs- to round so many sheep up.

So the next day, the farmer goes to the pet store. He looks around at the various herding dogs- they seem very fit, but young and untrained. The shopkeeper asks the farmer if he wants any help.

"Why yes," says the farmer. I need a team of sheepdogs to help round up my flock. I have a rather large number of sheep, you see, and I don't think any of these young pups would be up to the task of rounding up so many."

The shopkeeper says, "I've got just the thing for you." and leads the farmer into a small back room, where a single sheepdog sits waiting.

"Are you sure?" asks the farmer, "I have very many sheep and I don't think one dog will be able to round all of them up.".

"I'm sure." says the shopkeeper, "This is a very intelligent dog. He's been well-trained for many jobs and has skills beyond any other dog I've ever seen."

"Yes," says the dog, "I know six languages, eight martial arts and I have a degree in engineering." The farmer, clearly very impressed by this dog- who wouldn't be impressed by that?- decides to take him home.

That afternoon, the farmer and the dog walk together up hill, and from the top they can see the entire flock covering the fields. "Well," says the farmer, "I'd like you to round up all of these sheep.".

"Okay." replies the dog, "You have nine hundred sheep."

Edited by OrtonToOlsen
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14 minutes ago, OrtonToOlsen said:

Realising that this is quite a lot of sheep for one farm, and Jess the sheepdog is getting a bit old, he decides he'll probably need a new dog- no, a whole team of dogs- to round so many sheep up.

So the next day, the farmer goes to the pet store. He looks around at the various herding dogs- they seem very fit, but young and untrained. The shopkeeper asks the farmer if he wants any help.

"Why yes," says the farmer. I need a team of sheepdogs to help round up my flock. I have a rather large number of sheep, you see, and I don't think any of these young pups would be up to the task of rounding up so many."

The shopkeeper says, "I've got just the thing for you." and leads the farmer into a small back room, where a single sheepdog sits waiting.

"Are you sure?" asks the farmer, "I have very many sheep and I don't think one dog will be able to round all of them up.".

"I'm sure." says the shopkeeper, "This is a very intelligent dog. He's been well-trained for many jobs and has skills beyond any other dog I've ever seen."

"Yes," says the dog, "I know six languages, eight martial arts and I have a degree in engineering." The farmer, clearly very impressed by this dog- who wouldn't be impressed by that?- decides to take him home.

That afternoon, the farmer and the dog walk together up hill, and from the top they can see the entire flock covering the fields. "Well," says the farmer, "I'd like you to round up all of these sheep.".

"Okay." replies the dog, "You have nine hundred sheep."

This joke is just a tad better if you keep the opening sentence. 

“A farmer has 895 sheep.”

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Pro darts excitement.

Didn't know where else to put this.

 

Two pro dart players have accused each other of farting on stage during a match in England this week — casting a cloud of controversy over the heralded tournament.

“It’ll take me two nights to lose this smell from my nose,” Dutch player Wesley Harms fumed after getting blown away 10-2 by Scotland’s Gary Anderson at the Grand Slam of Darts in Wolverhampton.

Harms chalked up his foul play to a “fragrant smell” — which he deduced came from the Scotsman’s bowels.

But Anderson — who has admitted to passing gas during matches in the past — insisted he was innocent of this olfactory offense, The Guardian reported.

“If the boy thinks I’ve farted he’s 1,010-percent wrong,” said Anderson, who’s ranked the world’s No. 4 dart player, who moved on to the quarterfinals. “I swear on my children’s lives that it was not my fault. I had a bad stomach once on stage before and admitted it. So I’m not going to lie about farting on stage.”

He continued: “Usually if I fart on stage I s—t myself, I’ve told you that before,” The Express UK reported.

The British press has swooned over the colonic controversy, calling it “Fartgate.”

“We’ve got to get to the bottom of this,” the UK’s Professional Darts Corporation chairman Barry Hearn quipped, according to the BBC.

“Something doesn’t smell right,” he added.

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15 hours ago, El Floppo said:

Pro darts excitement.

Didn't know where else to put this.

 

Two pro dart players have accused each other of farting on stage during a match in England this week — casting a cloud of controversy over the heralded tournament.

Not sure "controversy' is the word they're looking for.

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On 11/16/2018 at 8:53 PM, shuke said:

Red zin, all occasions. 

It is pretty diverse.  Would be my second choice for a red, behind the pinot noir.  All good recommendations in here so far.  Don't forget to save some wine for Tanner.

Usually have a Rafanelli Zinfandel at Thanksgiving at our house.

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this isn't ordinarily my lane but ....... come on

3 women face prostitution charges in connection to N.C. home that operated as 'spa'

On Friday, the Buncombe County Anti-Crime Task Force arrested 63-year-old Kum Sun Morrison, 54-year-old Kyung Ah Kim, and 54-year-old Myong Suk Jaco.

 

Edited by mr. furley
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1 hour ago, mr. furley said:

this isn't ordinarily my lane but ....... come on

3 women face prostitution charges in connection to N.C. home that operated as 'spa'

On Friday, the Buncombe County Anti-Crime Task Force arrested 63-year-old Kum Sun Morrison, 54-year-old Kyung Ah Kim, and 54-year-old Myong Suk Jaco.

 

Incredibly well aged.  

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2 hours ago, mr. furley said:

this isn't ordinarily my lane but ....... come on

3 women face prostitution charges in connection to N.C. home that operated as 'spa'

On Friday, the Buncombe County Anti-Crime Task Force arrested 63-year-old Kum Sun Morrison, 54-year-old Kyung Ah Kim, and 54-year-old Myong Suk Jaco.

 

About once a year the cops raid some local rub n tug around here.  The “girls” are always Asians over 50.

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15 hours ago, Bob Sacamano said:

It is pretty diverse.  Would be my second choice for a red, behind the pinot noir.  All good recommendations in here so far.  Don't forget to save some wine for Tanner.

Usually have a Rafanelli Zinfandel at Thanksgiving at our house.

I've had a 30 year love affair with Rafanelli Zins. So good.

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@Thorn @Boston Fred @Gadzooks other Bostoners

I'm gonna be in Boston Thanksgivingday through Monday. Staying at the Revere. We should have a drink or 15. I'll have a lot of down time. 

Mon -thru Wed I'll be in Manhattan. Times Sq. Westin Monday and Soho/Little Italy Tuesday/Wed. If  @RC94 or @El Floppo or other Manhattan guys want to grab a a bite or a drunk.

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5 hours ago, cosjobs said:

@Thorn @Boston Fred @Gadzooks other Bostoners

I'm gonna be in Boston Thanksgivingday through Monday. Staying at the Revere. We should have a drink or 15. I'll have a lot of down time. 

Mon -thru Wed I'll be in Manhattan. Times Sq. Westin Monday and Soho/Little Italy Tuesday/Wed. If  @RC94 or @El Floppo or other Manhattan guys want to grab a a bite or a drunk.

I should be able to get lunch on Monday or Tuesday.

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5 minutes ago, RC94 said:

I should be able to get lunch on Monday or Tuesday.

 

5 hours ago, cosjobs said:

@Thorn @Boston Fred @Gadzooks other Bostoners

I'm gonna be in Boston Thanksgivingday through Monday. Staying at the Revere. We should have a drink or 15. I'll have a lot of down time. 

Mon -thru Wed I'll be in Manhattan. Times Sq. Westin Monday and Soho/Little Italy Tuesday/Wed. If  @RC94 or @El Floppo or other Manhattan guys want to grab a a bite or a drunk.

I can't remember if @Hawks64 is still around, but a drink one night would be swell. I'll be needing to work late anyways @Nick Vermeil, @BobbyLayne

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my MIL walking in the house on Sunday night: *cough* *hack* "hocks a loogie* *COUGHCOUGHCOUGH* *clears throat* *groans* COUGHCOUGHCOUGH* *sharp hacking, choking cough*       i tink i got dat cold your daughter has. she got me sick!      *cough* *hack* *sharp hacking, choking cough*

 

no, you ####### rube. you didn't catch a cold from my kid. she has allergies. her sniffle and congestion is absolutely different than that ####### smoker's cough you've had since the 60s. you reek like you just smoked a pack of Marlboro Red's in you car with the windows up, while parked in my driveway.

it's not a cold that you have. it's that your lungs are full of tar and about 80% blocked.

and you wonder why i offered to make ham for Thanksgiving instead of letting you cook a 23lb. bird for three hours.

 

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