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13 hours ago, General Malaise said:

Best part was the guy who said he went to one - fully aware of what it was - and wanted, nay insisted, on just a regular massage.  :lmao:

 

I think I posted my story in there of how I unwittingly ended up at one with Mrs. Igno. We were getting separate massages so she's in the next room. My massage started all normal until the lady told me to lie on my back and then started rubbing down there a lot. She would move up to my neck and shoulders every once in a while and then back downstairs. She must have gone back and forth like five or six times.

I was so shocked I just laid there the whole time until she gave up.

Mrs. Igno said it was the best massage she'd ever had, and even insisted we tip her masseur an extra $50.

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Moo.

HELLO FROM REHAB!!!!   Not sure if anything's been shared but Sunday dinner at my parents' a couple weeks ago was in fact an elaborate ruse to stage an intervention.  Actually it wasn't very

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21 minutes ago, Epic Problem said:

I must admit that I’m just a bit disappointed that Charles Nelson Reilly wasn’t nailed to a cross before the Dead Milkmen references ended 

He can’t heal the sick with a touch of his hand.  He can’t walk on water, can’t make wine flow, just another greedy actor on the Late Late show. 

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I was having a most excellent dream last night.  Or at least as excellent a dream can be that doesn’t end in a happy ending. 

I had  hooked a monster smallmouth and in my dream I’m leaning over my kayak to lip him.  In real life I’m head butting the corner of my end table like I’m in a bar brawl   

Predictably my forehead lost the battle and I was stunned and struggling to understand what happened.  I pieced things together when I felt the blood.

I woke up this morning with a golf ball size welt and 1/2 inch cut on my forehead.  Normally I can roll with that but I have a job interview tomorrow and not really the first impression I want to make.   At least I have 24 hours to come up with a better story then getting beat up by a table  

 

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7 hours ago, Henry Ford said:

Thanks for the concern.  I don’t really get too upset when people who don’t know what the #### they’re talking about try to criticize my position on human trafficking and prostitution. 

I purchased a rather large firearm recently that I picked up today and I took out my work frustrations at the gun range and am now eating carrot cake and listening to the Dead Milkmen.

Sadly, Amazon Music does not appear to have Methodist Coloring Book. 

With all due respect, you are a little over the top in that thread and probably have over 50% of the posts in there.

Maybe a self-imposed 1 week ban on that particular thread?  Let the facts flesh out a little more and the hysteria die down?

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30 minutes ago, eoMMan said:

With all due respect, you are a little over the top in that thread and probably have over 50% of the posts in there.

Maybe a self-imposed 1 week ban on that particular thread?  Let the facts flesh out a little more and the hysteria die down?

If you’d like to discuss this with me do it there. 

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you mean to tell me this guy is going to tell me that other guy is a scumbag today!??!

EXPLOSIVE!11!!!11

 

of all the things i did not see coming, it was that someone was going to expose that guy for being a scumbag and a terrible human being. that's literally the last thing i would have thought about that guy. he's always seemed to honest and wholesome.

today is going to be a bombshell!

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4 hours ago, Ignoramus said:

I think I posted my story in there of how I unwittingly ended up at one with Mrs. Igno. We were getting separate massages so she's in the next room. My massage started all normal until the lady told me to lie on my back and then started rubbing down there a lot. She would move up to my neck and shoulders every once in a while and then back downstairs. She must have gone back and forth like five or six times.

I was so shocked I just laid there the whole time until she gave up.

Mrs. Igno said it was the best massage she'd ever had, and even insisted we tip her masseur an extra $50.

Hmmm :oldunsure:

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trying to teach my 10 year old fractions (addition, multiplication, division, etc.) and she's not doing well with it. she gets very frustrated and just guesses instead of thinking things through. or if she's thinking the problem through, she's not working with good foundations so she's coming up with bad answers.

my method of explanation isn't working well. my wife's explanation sometimes works but if it doesn't, my wife starts with the undermining and subtle digs out of frustration.

when we can get through to her, and the ideas make sense you can see the links clicking in to place and she cruises through the problems. when she hits a wall.... forget it.

 

clearly the kid needs to start from the  very basics to rebuild confidence. 

how did you other dads deal with this? suggestions for teaching tips that made it click for your kid(s)?

 

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Do teens just not know how to spell and/or care about details anymore?

I just got an email and resume for a summer internship from someone at an Ivy League school and there are at least 5-6 misspelled words and formatting errors.

My division has had horrible luck getting good interns for a variety of reasons. This applicant was actually recommended by a very competent co-worker. But that many mistakes just seems like a gigantic red flag, no?

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53 minutes ago, GroveDiesel said:

Do teens just not know how to spell and/or care about details anymore?

I just got an email and resume for a summer internship from someone at an Ivy League school and there are at least 5-6 misspelled words and formatting errors.

My division has had horrible luck getting good interns for a variety of reasons. This applicant was actually recommended by a very competent co-worker. But that many mistakes just seems like a gigantic red flag, no?

Hard to understand an Ivy Leaguer having that many misspellings, but there are a lot of smart people who misspell words all the time.  

Also, could they have a learning disability?  

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1 hour ago, General Malaise said:

Hard to understand an Ivy Leaguer having that many misspellings, but there are a lot of smart people who misspell words all the time.  

Also, could they have a learning disability?  

While that's possible, that's still not an excuse IMO. If a person with a learning disability is smart enough to get into an Ivy League school, they should be smart enough to know that they need to have someone review their resume for errors before sending it out. I'm a fairly good writer, but I still have a LEAST one person I trust review important things like resumes.

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1 hour ago, Sconch said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Don't want to drag dirt in here but I'm guessing there's another T.O. headed my way...just wanted to put down on record that IF that happens it was politically motivated and has noting to do with the TOS.

I've honestly lost count at the number of posts of mine that have just mysteriously disappeared over the last month or so. No explanation, no 'please stop' requests, just *poof*. Honestly, wouldn't one think that if its worth hiding, its worth whacking me for it?

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11 hours ago, Ignoramus said:

I think I posted my story in there of how I unwittingly ended up at one with Mrs. Igno. We were getting separate massages so she's in the next room. My massage started all normal until the lady told me to lie on my back and then started rubbing down there a lot. She would move up to my neck and shoulders every once in a while and then back downstairs. She must have gone back and forth like five or six times.

I was so shocked I just laid there the whole time until she gave up.

Mrs. Igno said it was the best massage she'd ever had, and even insisted we tip her masseur an extra $50.

So she knew how to respond when she got rubbed.. down there?

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2 hours ago, Epic Problem said:

I've honestly lost count at the number of posts of mine that have just mysteriously disappeared over the last month or so. No explanation, no 'please stop' requests, just *poof*. Honestly, wouldn't one think that if its worth hiding, its worth whacking me for it?

For a $50 tip

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My friend who lives a couple miles from me gets meals delivered from some service that she cooks each week.   She just texted me and said she got a message that her meals for the week got delivered to her porch, but she won't be home until tonight so can I drive over to her house, pick them up and bring them back to my house to put them in the refrigerator.  

It's snowing.   

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2 hours ago, Epic Problem said:

I've honestly lost count at the number of posts of mine that have just mysteriously disappeared over the last month or so. No explanation, no 'please stop' requests, just *poof*. Honestly, wouldn't one think that if its worth hiding, its worth whacking me for it?

sometimes that happens if you've quoted someone else that got whacked and they delete all of the offending posts.

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When I was in Basic Training we had this goofy dude that was always ####### up, Private Smith. Drill Sergeant would say "Right Face!" and Smith would be the only dude to turn left. #### like that.

Every night in the barracks we had to rotate guard duty. It was like a two hour shift where a couple of guys had to be awake in case there was a fire or something. You'd do your 2 hours and then wake up the next guy. It was assigned on a rotational basis but you could also get it if you ####ed up. I maybe had it twice in the eight weeks. Smith being a perpetual ####up had guard duty every. Single. Night.

It eventually got to the point that guys who were actually assigned guard duty would just wake up Smith and tell him it was his shift. He had it so much as punishment he just figured it really was his turn again.

Tanner getting clipped and even taking note of it just kind of reminds me of this.

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10 hours ago, berndog said:

I was having a most excellent dream last night.  Or at least as excellent a dream can be that doesn’t end in a happy ending. 

I had  hooked a monster smallmouth and in my dream I’m leaning over my kayak to lip him.  In real life I’m head butting the corner of my end table like I’m in a bar brawl   

Predictably my forehead lost the battle and I was stunned and struggling to understand what happened.  I pieced things together when I felt the blood.

I woke up this morning with a golf ball size welt and 1/2 inch cut on my forehead.  Normally I can roll with that but I have a job interview tomorrow and not really the first impression I want to make.   At least I have 24 hours to come up with a better story then getting beat up by a table  

 

Good luck on the interview, and you can make it into a funny story if they ask about it.  It could wind up helping with the interview, but otherwise I would just ignore it and focus on the interview.

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1 hour ago, -fish- said:

My friend who lives a couple miles from me gets meals delivered from some service that she cooks each week.   She just texted me and said she got a message that her meals for the week got delivered to her porch, but she won't be home until tonight so can I drive over to her house, pick them up and bring them back to my house to put them in the refrigerator.  

It's snowing.   

Then they'll be fine on her porch.

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7 hours ago, mr. furley said:

trying to teach my 10 year old fractions (addition, multiplication, division, etc.) and she's not doing well with it. she gets very frustrated and just guesses instead of thinking things through. or if she's thinking the problem through, she's not working with good foundations so she's coming up with bad answers.

my method of explanation isn't working well. my wife's explanation sometimes works but if it doesn't, my wife starts with the undermining and subtle digs out of frustration.

when we can get through to her, and the ideas make sense you can see the links clicking in to place and she cruises through the problems. when she hits a wall.... forget it.

 

clearly the kid needs to start from the  very basics to rebuild confidence. 

how did you other dads deal with this? suggestions for teaching tips that made it click for your kid(s)?

 

Tables and flash cards

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34 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

Too bad tanner got axed. He's probably the only one who would catch the Mavis Beacon reference

I got it, and was going to come back with some of Gutenberg press quip related to Tanner’s age, but then I found out Mavis wasn’t a real person and now I am just sad.

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Good news lately.

I nursed stoner poodle back to marginal health. I really thought he was about to die Wednesday through Saturday. Sunday he had the slightest recovery. Not much, but he would lift his head too see who walked into the room. He kept drinking more and more water and would nibble on dome chicken or special soups I made him. We got bloodwork Monday and his kidneys are pretty well ####ed. He had renal failure, but the doc told me if we could keep him really hydrated and put him on a kidney diet, he might rebound and last a few months or a year. 

This is all great news, especially when I was googling how to euthanize your dog at home last week ( I know he would not want to be die on a metal table at the vets office and no way I could shoot him).

Sister still dead and I think I'm grieving sufficiently and appropriately. I'm also managing not to obsess, overthink or slip into deep melancholia. Told my folks about her death and thankfully (for me)  they took it really well. I guess when you're that old you get used to seeing everyone you love die. Sucks, but that's the system.

They have also really improved the last few weeks and we are going to put off moving mom into memory care for now.

So really great news all around and I wanted to share it.

Thank you all so much for your love and support. I don't know what I'd do without you. Please don't die.

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Hope things turn up for you cos. 

Sorry to keep this dumb bad news #### going but my in laws house burned down today. MIL was at work but FIL was napping so luckily he heard the alarms and was able to escape. He tried to put it out and ended up with some severe burns on his hands and arms but no one got seriously hurt. 

No thopras needed. I think at this point in this thread it's implied. My wife is a wreck so I'm just venting. I also found out that a co-worker who has been out since last September has about a week to live. 

I thought 2019 was supposed to be way better than 2018. Well on that note it's been a while, but you guys get a shot video this weekend. Let's get back to positivity

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1 hour ago, cosjobs said:

Good news lately.

I nursed stoner poodle back to marginal health. I really thought he was about to die Wednesday through Saturday. Sunday he had the slightest recovery. Not much, but he would lift his head too see who walked into the room. He kept drinking more and more water and would nibble on dome chicken or special soups I made him. We got bloodwork Monday and his kidneys are pretty well ####ed. He had renal failure, but the doc told me if we could keep him really hydrated and put him on a kidney diet, he might rebound and last a few months or a year. 

This is all great news, especially when I was googling how to euthanize your dog at home last week ( I know he would not want to be die on a metal table at the vets office and no way I could shoot him).

Sister still dead and I think I'm grieving sufficiently and appropriately. I'm also managing not to obsess, overthink or slip into deep melancholia. Told my folks about her death and thankfully (for me)  they took it really well. I guess when you're that old you get used to seeing everyone you love die. Sucks, but that's the system.

They have also really improved the last few weeks and we are going to put off moving mom into memory care for now.

So really great news all around and I wanted to share it.

Thank you all so much for your love and support. I don't know what I'd do without you. Please don't die.

love you dude!  

i'm trying to decide whether to go to a wedding, that i don't want to go to, in austin.  or go to a family reunion in VA.  same weekend.  you, my friend!, and some other fbg's that i've never met, are the only reason austin is still on the table.  tank that to the bank broham1!*

*probably going to the family reunion thing.  maybe i can do both...

**drinks

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58 minutes ago, strykerpks said:

Hope things turn up for you cos. 

Sorry to keep this dumb bad news #### going but my in laws house burned down today. MIL was at work but FIL was napping so luckily he heard the alarms and was able to escape. He tried to put it out and ended up with some severe burns on his hands and arms but no one got seriously hurt. 

No thopras needed. I think at this point in this thread it's implied. My wife is a wreck so I'm just venting. I also found out that a co-worker who has been out since last September has about a week to live. 

I thought 2019 was supposed to be way better than 2018. Well on that note it's been a while, but you guys get a shot video this weekend. Let's get back to positivity

I meant for my last post to be celebratory. Things overall are trending up. I'm still game to do a shot video this weekend

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2 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

I meant for my last post to be celebratory. Things overall are trending up. I'm still game to do a shot video this weekend

/in*

 

*with beer

 

just priced out flights.  this #### might be doable.  6/14 is the wedding date.  whotf gets married on a friday?   wedding is at some place called villa antonia.  fly in wed/thurs, leave sat for the east coast.

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8 minutes ago, DA RAIDERS said:

/in*

 

*with beer

 

just priced out flights.  this #### might be doable.  6/14 is the wedding date.  whotf gets married on a friday?   wedding is at some place called villa antonia.  fly in wed/thurs, leave sat for the east coast.

Skip the wedding, wait and Come see me when when you have a little time to chill a while.

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