GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing

[cstu 6,086]

I started coaching my kids' AYSO teams so I could be the one in charge of where and when we had practices. True story.

Assume canceled?

[cstu 6,086]

Aerial Assault, on 19 Jan 2016 - 09:06 AM, said:

Do all youth sports start at obscene times on weekends? Asking for a friend without kids (yet).

Wife got my 6 yo daughter into soccer that started at 8 am about 30+ minutes away from where we live. My daughter whined the first day and I refused to keep taking her to it.

[cosjobs 15,376]

Do all youth sports start at obscene times on weekends? Asking for a friend without kids (yet).

Just depends, really. Personally speaking, I prefer having my games at 9am on Saturday morning so I can get them out of the way and enjoy a full day of college football. If I can get them all scheduled before noon, I'm a happy camper. I hate sitting around waiting for them.

Also, if you are thinking about coaching, consider joining the board of your local rec league, especially if the board has its monthly meetings at a pub. On top of the free beers, you tend to get preferential treatment with regards to your roster of players, practice location and times and game schedule.

you forgot the part about being able to yell at referees.

and the per diem and quarterly bonuses

[cosjobs 15,376]

I don't think it's fair that no one tells you in advance how much of a pain in the ### kids are. And they definitely don't tell you how the curve of going from 1 to 2 is exponentially worse than just having 1. I'm pretty much at that point where when I am home, one of the other humans in the house needs me to do something for them or is complaining that I'm not doing something for them. I can't even imagine what 3 kids is like.

4 seems like it would be way past the point of sanity.

Can you imagine people with 5 kids? Seriously?

That just means you are living with a woman.

GM, I will swap places with you for the next 15 years. I will gladly take 4 boys and 1 girl over 3 girls. Yesterday the 5 year old threw a fit every time we said no. She made a sandwich using the last piece of cheese, wanted to make a second one and i told her she couldn't since she just ate the last piece of cheese. Flopped on the floor and starting kicking and throwing stuff. Awesome!!! I know it is a phase, and she will grow out of it just in time for her younger sister to reach that phase.

Oh, and my wife managed to break the engraved wine glass she just got for Christmas. Apparently I have been doing the dishes wrong all these years. Instead of placing the dirty dishes in the empty dishwasher you are supposed to just toss them all in the sink. And the appropriate way to fill the sink in the following order: Wine glass and drinking glasses laying down in sink, cover them with a plastic placemat, place several dinner plates on top, add a few kids bowls, then put the large popcorn bowl on top so there is no way to use the sink anymore (but hey, there is nothing on the counter now), wait 10 seconds and then hear the sounds of glass breaking when something shifts.

Throw in some cucumber (Apple, potato) peels and some plates of half eaten food and the paper towel you used to wipe the kids faces and it'll look like my sink. Run some water or milk over it for good measure

If only there was a person who stayed home with the kids all day that could empty the dishwasher and load the dirty dishes as they get used throughout the day

Exhibit A

I don't think it's fair that no one tells you in advance how much of a pain in the ### kids are. And they definitely don't tell you how the curve of going from 1 to 2 is exponentially worse than just having 1. I'm pretty much at that point where when I am home, one of the other humans in the house needs me to do something for them or is complaining that I'm not doing something for them. I can't even imagine what 3 kids is like.

4 seems like it would be way past the point of sanity.

Can you imagine people with 5 kids? Seriously?

That just means you are living with a woman.

GM, I will swap places with you for the next 15 years. I will gladly take 4 boys and 1 girl over 3 girls. Yesterday the 5 year old threw a fit every time we said no. She made a sandwich using the last piece of cheese, wanted to make a second one and i told her she couldn't since she just ate the last piece of cheese. Flopped on the floor and starting kicking and throwing stuff. Awesome!!! I know it is a phase, and she will grow out of it just in time for her younger sister to reach that phase.

Oh, and my wife managed to break the engraved wine glass she just got for Christmas. Apparently I have been doing the dishes wrong all these years. Instead of placing the dirty dishes in the empty dishwasher you are supposed to just toss them all in the sink. And the appropriate way to fill the sink in the following order: Wine glass and drinking glasses laying down in sink, cover them with a plastic placemat, place several dinner plates on top, add a few kids bowls, then put the large popcorn bowl on top so there is no way to use the sink anymore (but hey, there is nothing on the counter now), wait 10 seconds and then hear the sounds of glass breaking when something shifts.

Throw in some cucumber (Apple, potato) peels and some plates of half eaten food and the paper towel you used to wipe the kids faces and it'll look like my sink. Run some water or milk over it for good measure

If only there was a person who stayed home with the kids all day that could empty the dishwasher and load the dirty dishes as they get used throughout the day

Exhibit A

LOOK AT ME, MY WIFE SERVES ME PEELED POTATOES

[Binky The Doormat 13,111]

I don't think it's fair that no one tells you in advance how much of a pain in the ### kids are. And they definitely don't tell you how the curve of going from 1 to 2 is exponentially worse than just having 1. I'm pretty much at that point where when I am home, one of the other humans in the house needs me to do something for them or is complaining that I'm not doing something for them. I can't even imagine what 3 kids is like.

4 seems like it would be way past the point of sanity.

Can you imagine people with 5 kids? Seriously?

That just means you are living with a woman.

GM, I will swap places with you for the next 15 years. I will gladly take 4 boys and 1 girl over 3 girls. Yesterday the 5 year old threw a fit every time we said no. She made a sandwich using the last piece of cheese, wanted to make a second one and i told her she couldn't since she just ate the last piece of cheese. Flopped on the floor and starting kicking and throwing stuff. Awesome!!! I know it is a phase, and she will grow out of it just in time for her younger sister to reach that phase.

Oh, and my wife managed to break the engraved wine glass she just got for Christmas. Apparently I have been doing the dishes wrong all these years. Instead of placing the dirty dishes in the empty dishwasher you are supposed to just toss them all in the sink. And the appropriate way to fill the sink in the following order: Wine glass and drinking glasses laying down in sink, cover them with a plastic placemat, place several dinner plates on top, add a few kids bowls, then put the large popcorn bowl on top so there is no way to use the sink anymore (but hey, there is nothing on the counter now), wait 10 seconds and then hear the sounds of glass breaking when something shifts.

Throw in some cucumber (Apple, potato) peels and some plates of half eaten food and the paper towel you used to wipe the kids faces and it'll look like my sink. Run some water or milk over it for good measure

If only there was a person who stayed home with the kids all day that could empty the dishwasher and load the dirty dishes as they get used throughout the day

Exhibit A

Oh GD ####. This is a running fight at my house. I keep my mouth shut a lot of the time because I know if I bring it up ...some #### is going down.

WTF ...other than complete irresponsibility and laziness.

[tommyboy 4,629]

Next time, take it all out and toss it in the garbage.

[Mr.Pack 2,619]

I don't think it's fair that no one tells you in advance how much of a pain in the ### kids are. And they definitely don't tell you how the curve of going from 1 to 2 is exponentially worse than just having 1. I'm pretty much at that point where when I am home, one of the other humans in the house needs me to do something for them or is complaining that I'm not doing something for them. I can't even imagine what 3 kids is like.

4 seems like it would be way past the point of sanity.

Can you imagine people with 5 kids? Seriously?

That just means you are living with a woman.

GM, I will swap places with you for the next 15 years. I will gladly take 4 boys and 1 girl over 3 girls. Yesterday the 5 year old threw a fit every time we said no. She made a sandwich using the last piece of cheese, wanted to make a second one and i told her she couldn't since she just ate the last piece of cheese. Flopped on the floor and starting kicking and throwing stuff. Awesome!!! I know it is a phase, and she will grow out of it just in time for her younger sister to reach that phase.

Oh, and my wife managed to break the engraved wine glass she just got for Christmas. Apparently I have been doing the dishes wrong all these years. Instead of placing the dirty dishes in the empty dishwasher you are supposed to just toss them all in the sink. And the appropriate way to fill the sink in the following order: Wine glass and drinking glasses laying down in sink, cover them with a plastic placemat, place several dinner plates on top, add a few kids bowls, then put the large popcorn bowl on top so there is no way to use the sink anymore (but hey, there is nothing on the counter now), wait 10 seconds and then hear the sounds of glass breaking when something shifts.

Throw in some cucumber (Apple, potato) peels and some plates of half eaten food and the paper towel you used to wipe the kids faces and it'll look like my sink. Run some water or milk over it for good measure

If only there was a person who stayed home with the kids all day that could empty the dishwasher and load the dirty dishes as they get used throughout the day

Exhibit A

Oh GD ####. This is a running fight at my house. I keep my mouth shut a lot of the time because I know if I bring it up ...some #### is going down.

WTF ...other than complete irresponsibility and laziness.

I know what it is, they watch all those damn cooking shows and the cooks never clean anything, they just throw it in the sink. Wives follow suit.

[Officer Pete Malloy 19,152]

I don't think it's fair that no one tells you in advance how much of a pain in the ### kids are. And they definitely don't tell you how the curve of going from 1 to 2 is exponentially worse than just having 1. I'm pretty much at that point where when I am home, one of the other humans in the house needs me to do something for them or is complaining that I'm not doing something for them. I can't even imagine what 3 kids is like.

4 seems like it would be way past the point of sanity.

Can you imagine people with 5 kids? Seriously?

That just means you are living with a woman.

GM, I will swap places with you for the next 15 years. I will gladly take 4 boys and 1 girl over 3 girls. Yesterday the 5 year old threw a fit every time we said no. She made a sandwich using the last piece of cheese, wanted to make a second one and i told her she couldn't since she just ate the last piece of cheese. Flopped on the floor and starting kicking and throwing stuff. Awesome!!! I know it is a phase, and she will grow out of it just in time for her younger sister to reach that phase.

Oh, and my wife managed to break the engraved wine glass she just got for Christmas. Apparently I have been doing the dishes wrong all these years. Instead of placing the dirty dishes in the empty dishwasher you are supposed to just toss them all in the sink. And the appropriate way to fill the sink in the following order: Wine glass and drinking glasses laying down in sink, cover them with a plastic placemat, place several dinner plates on top, add a few kids bowls, then put the large popcorn bowl on top so there is no way to use the sink anymore (but hey, there is nothing on the counter now), wait 10 seconds and then hear the sounds of glass breaking when something shifts.

Throw in some cucumber (Apple, potato) peels and some plates of half eaten food and the paper towel you used to wipe the kids faces and it'll look like my sink. Run some water or milk over it for good measure

If only there was a person who stayed home with the kids all day that could empty the dishwasher and load the dirty dishes as they get used throughout the day

Exhibit A

The potato peels are going to clog that drain for sure.

[Rustoleum 1,551]

It might be a three-way tie in sink-stacking if we threw my family into the mix, but nobody can beat my wife and kids at Trashcan Jenga.

[bostonfred 31,928]

The potato peels are going to clog that drain for sure.

What's a potato?

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/

[Aerial Assault 2,397]

The potato peels are going to clog that drain for sure.

What's a potato?

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/

"I made a high-pitched noise"

[Binky The Doormat 13,111]

The potato peels are going to clog that drain for sure.

What's a potato?

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/

"I made a high-pitched noise"

Sounds like an Andy Kaufmann routine with an audience of 3.

Just pissing unhip people off in smaller groups because they just don't get it.

[Officer Pete Malloy 19,152]

I started coaching my kids' AYSO teams so I could be the one in charge of where and when we had practices. True story.

Assume canceled?

That too. I remember the first time I had to cancel about an hour before practice. I thought people would be miffed. Nobody cared and some sounded relieved.

[bostonfred 31,928]

Get the #### out of my house

[Officer Pete Malloy 19,152]

It might be a three-way tie in sink-stacking if we threw my family into the mix, but nobody can beat my wife and kids at Trashcan Jenga.

I'm sure mine would make the medal stand for both of these.

[Ignoramus 5,794]

Yeah, that's what the sink usually looks like when I'm done cooking, too. I cook good #### and I use the tools I need to prepare it. I'm bad with the whole "clean as you go" concept, in large part due to the fact that I'm making multiple dishes... and drinking. Fortunately, my wife appreciates my cooking and doesn't mind doing the dishes afterwards.

Edited January 20, 2016 by Ignoramus

[Officer Pete Malloy 19,152]

Moran http://i.imgur.com/FZ4aVff.gifv

[shuke 23,081]

Oh GD ####. This is a running fight at my house. I keep my mouth shut a lot of the time because I know if I bring it up ...some #### is going down.

[the rover 5,560]

It might be a three-way tie in sink-stacking if we threw my family into the mix, but nobody can beat my wife and kids at Trashcan Jenga.

Roverkid. And somehow she can manage to make the trash bag slide down underneath the trash so as to become useless.

[Annyong 2,125]

Get the #### out of my house

A house? Let me tell you, I have never heard of a house before.

[Officer Pete Malloy 19,152]

Sup

[Officer Pete Malloy 19,152]

Instant pants sh#tting

[St. Louis Bob 6,538]

The potato peels are going to clog that drain for sure.

What's a potato?

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/

"I made a high-pitched noise"

Seems like something stupid I would do.

[St. Louis Bob 6,538]

Had a good story but it hurts to type since I fell down drunk yesterday afternoon and sprained, pull, everything in my left hand.

there he is!

My wife has a lot of hot nurses at her work. Oh man. Me drunk around a lot of hot nurses was good times. I may never be invited to another work party again though. Guess I'll find out tomorrow after she gets home. Was pretty obnoxious.

I miss those times ...waiting to hear what I said ...or did ...or groped.

Had a good story but it hurts to type since I fell down drunk yesterday afternoon and sprained, pull, everything in my left hand.

there he is!

My wife has a lot of hot nurses at her work. Oh man. Me drunk around a lot of hot nurses was good times. I may never be invited to another work party again though. Guess I'll find out tomorrow after she gets home. Was pretty obnoxious.

My wife is convinced I'll leave her for a hot nurse once I graduate from RN school. I told her it's the vulnerable MILFs in the pediatric ward that she should worry about. She was not amused.

Nobody said anything to her about me which I'm pretty sure is a worse case scenario. Mrs. SLB swears "you were fine" but I have this vague recollection of falling down at the bar or going to the car after the game. Ah ####.

[Officer Pete Malloy 19,152]

Mooo http://i.imgur.com/xppzIij.png

[krista4 27,191]

The car-dealer deed is done. Today we traded in Snoop and Bunny Colvin and bought the new car, Frank Sobotka. It was a shockingly painless process - no one even cried. It was a bit weird that the car dealer didn't look at Snoop - not only didn't have a mechanic review but didn't even walk the hell around the car or check the mileage. In fact, I just gave them some keys and said there was a car somewhere in their parking lot.

[Mr. Pickles 4,636]

The car-dealer deed is done. Today we traded in Snoop and Bunny Colvin and bought the new car, Frank Sobotka. It was a shockingly painless process - no one even cried. It was a bit weird that the car dealer didn't look at Snoop - not only didn't have a mechanic review but didn't even walk the hell around the car or check the mileage. In fact, I just gave them some keys and said there was a car somewhere in their parking lot.

That's how you know you got a great deal.

[Abraham 2,608]

Awesome that you celebrate your birthday with a new car.

[bostonfred 31,928]

Did they put the big ribbon on it like in the commercials?

[Officer Pete Malloy 19,152]

SWC, on 20 Jan 2016 - 11:19 AM, said:

i am from milwaukee and a proud krautmizer when i was a kid my dad used to play a game called pick the schnitzel he would take three or four brats and one kilbassa and hold them in his hands and then we all had to pick one out and whoever got the kilbasa we would all chase that kid around and throw our brats at him and my dad would get a beer from the garage and laugh man those were some good times take that to the bank brathans

[AAABatteries 26,618]

SWC, on 20 Jan 2016 - 11:19 AM, said:

i am from milwaukee and a proud krautmizer when i was a kid my dad used to play a game called pick the schnitzel he would take three or four brats and one kilbassa and hold them in his hands and then we all had to pick one out and whoever got the kilbasa we would all chase that kid around and throw our brats at him and my dad would get a beer from the garage and laugh man those were some good times take that to the bank brathans

[Limp Ditka 8,962]

[Officer Pete Malloy 19,152]

http://i.imgur.com/gHrSOp5.gifv repost but worth it

[Officer Pete Malloy 19,152]

He who hesitates is...alive?

[General Malaise 28,129]

Made some jambalaya last night. Would have been much better with FDAS' sausage inside of it. But still very tasty.

[Limp Ditka 8,962]

Made some jambalaya last night. Would have been much better with FDAS' sausage inside of it. But still very tasty.

[Mr.Pack 2,619]

SWC, on 20 Jan 2016 - 11:19 AM, said:

i am from milwaukee and a proud krautmizer when i was a kid my dad used to play a game called pick the schnitzel he would take three or four brats and one kilbassa and hold them in his hands and then we all had to pick one out and whoever got the kilbasa we would all chase that kid around and throw our brats at him and my dad would get a beer from the garage and laugh man those were some good times take that to the bank brathans

Love that guy

[General Malaise 28,129]

Been wondering all day what kind of car a Frank Sobotka would be. I think I've found it. How does the Scion drive?

[Limp Ditka 8,962]

http://www.totalprosports.com/2016/01/20/kid-loses-wrestling-match-twin-brother-punches-nuts-video/

TWINS!

Edited January 21, 2016 by Limp Ditka

[bostonfred 31,928]

They have a connection you just can't understand if you're a singleborn.

[Guster 712]

My sausage really is something special

It truly is marvelous

[Notorious T.R.E. 4,564]

My sausage really is something special

It truly is marvelous

I love putting it in my mouth.

[Ignoramus 5,794]

The car-dealer deed is done. Today we traded in Snoop and Bunny Colvin and bought the new car, Frank Sobotka. It was a shockingly painless process - no one even cried. It was a bit weird that the car dealer didn't look at Snoop - not only didn't have a mechanic review but didn't even walk the hell around the car or check the mileage. In fact, I just gave them some keys and said there was a car somewhere in their parking lot.

That's how you know you got a great deal.

[krista4 27,191]

Did they put the big ribbon on it like in the commercials?

Now I feel gypped.

Been wondering all day what kind of car a Frank Sobotka would be. I think I've found it. How does the Scion drive?

[Binky The Doormat 13,111]

He who hesitates is...alive?

I would have blown the back out of those skinny jeans.

[strykerpks 4,186]

My sausage really is something special

It truly is marvelous

I love putting it in my mouth.

I've had better

[krista4 27,191]

The car-dealer deed is done. Today we traded in Snoop and Bunny Colvin and bought the new car, Frank Sobotka. It was a shockingly painless process - no one even cried. It was a bit weird that the car dealer didn't look at Snoop - not only didn't have a mechanic review but didn't even walk the hell around the car or check the mileage. In fact, I just gave them some keys and said there was a car somewhere in their parking lot.

That's how you know you got a great deal.

Missed this comment before. It was a one-year-old car, and obviously they would have done a Carfax and also have my signed odometer disclosure, so I guess they're pretty safe but I've just never had that happen.

They gave me more than the "excellent" value for trade-in on kbb, though there was some scratching/damage on the back bumper. If someone offers me a fair price, I won't spend much time nickel and diming them, though I did do one round to get them up to the "over excellent" price. These cars (Subaru) are so in demand here it's insane, and with production limited by their short-term lease to Toyota at the Lafayette plant, dealers can't keep them in stock.

The more important part was their taking the POS 4Runner off my hands for $2K more than my bottom line price.

[tommyboy 4,629]

Didn't like the 4runner? Thought they were indestructible, preferred vehicle if the Taliban

[krista4 27,191]

Didn't like the 4runner? Thought they were indestructible, preferred vehicle if the Taliban

I bought it for that reason (indestructibilty not Taliban). We might have gotten a lemon.

[kevzilla 8,405]

Sounds like you really squeezed that lemon.

I'll show myself out.