Can you not go back to your current employer and tell them you have a better offer? Are you expendable? Would they match (or at least shrink the comp gap)?
Im 40 and I think about leaving all the time but for me it always comes down to culture. Im happy at my job and couldnt risk it for more money elsewhere unless I knew Id be equally content.
As for driving an hour each way everyday, no friggen way
Well, this is not FBG ego but they will part seas to try and keep me. We have a mandate on our Leadership team that SVP's are responsible for retaining all A players. We know who they are. We force/stack rank our entire company at least twice a year. I'm the highest rated guy in sales/sales leadership. I report to the CEO. So he's responsible for keeping me. He and others on the board (private equity) will try to talk me out of it, see what else they can do to keep me, etc. Besides what I bring to the table, they can easily explain away a B player leaving on their own - but it's a bad message when an A player leaves. Especially one with known big equity. "If he left, why in the hell am I staying?"
The problem is this isn't just about money. It's about a gut feeling that the company is going to get worse before it gets better in terms of code. Customers leaving. Reputation sours. Can't look people in the eye who trusted you. We are always being told that the light at the end of the tunnel is 6 months away. So I've been through 8 of those 6 month cycles, and it's still a cluster. So am I going to hang on for the dream of a big payday with blinders on to what I know is the present state of the company?
As for culture - I couldn't agree with you more. No amount of money is worth being miserable. Life is too short. That's why I'm spending so much time getting a feel for culture. I've boomeranged back to a company before when I made a bad decision, but I've also moved before and it's been the absolute right decision.
I have lunch with the EVP on Monday. I'll know about options and commuting then. Hey - I have to drive to LAX anyway to travel. If I can get it to once or twice a week I'm perfectly OK with it. Just not 80-100% of the time.
If they bumped me it would through the whole salary structure of the company out of whack.