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Funny things your kid has said (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Sack-Religious.
- Start date
Verbal Kint
Footballguy
Easy there, bud. Don't pop a vessel.
Johnny Rock
Footballguy
My 6-year old daughter, "Daddy, when I get bigger I want to be a doctor...and I want to do hair. I want to do everything!"
Lehigh98
Footballguy
After the Coors Light Jim Mora "Playoffs?!" commercial was on for the umpteenth time, my 2.5 year old son out of nowhere just started walking around the house repeating... "Playoffs?! You can't talk about Playoffs!" with the exact same tone and expesssion as Jim Mora.
Its the hardest I can remember laughing in a long time.
Its the hardest I can remember laughing in a long time.
Third
Footballguy
Last night, I'm sitting on the couch with my 7 and 4-year-old watching the inaugural ball. Stevie Wonder is singing, Obama is dancing, kids are loving it.
In walks my 21-month old little boy in his footed PJs, he stops in front of the TV and starts loudly pointing and saying "Bama . . . Bama . . . Bama!"
My wife and I look at each other
. . . we have no idea how he knows Obama is on TV.
He leaves the room and reappears a minute later holding my daughter's Barbie Beach Steven doll (which we have referred to as Obama since Christmas morning) . . . holding it up to the TV, again saying "Bama . . . Bama . . . Bama!"
In walks my 21-month old little boy in his footed PJs, he stops in front of the TV and starts loudly pointing and saying "Bama . . . Bama . . . Bama!"
My wife and I look at each other
. . . we have no idea how he knows Obama is on TV.He leaves the room and reappears a minute later holding my daughter's Barbie Beach Steven doll (which we have referred to as Obama since Christmas morning) . . . holding it up to the TV, again saying "Bama . . . Bama . . . Bama!"
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Clown Car
Footballguy
About a month ago our church announced that they were offering a parenting class about "Children and teens at risk: Depression and suicide". I asked my 12 yo daughter if there was something she wanted to talk about or was there something I needed to know. She said no and "oh, please" and we went about our business.
A couple weeks later, we started having trouble with our horses being obnoxious at night, causing problems, one of them even got up on the porch! At dinner I told the kids we were considering getting rid of the horses if we can't fix these problems.
At that, the 12 yo looks over at me and says "you might want to reconsider going to that depression and suicide class".
A couple weeks later, we started having trouble with our horses being obnoxious at night, causing problems, one of them even got up on the porch! At dinner I told the kids we were considering getting rid of the horses if we can't fix these problems.
At that, the 12 yo looks over at me and says "you might want to reconsider going to that depression and suicide class".
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
The_Burning_Bush
Footballguy
It's not my kid, but someone I know(6 yr old boy FWIW) drew me a playful picture of me as a woman. He pointed to the long hair and said "That's your hair," pointed to dots on the ears and said "That's your earrings," and pointed to the boobs and said "That's your woman red spots."
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
glad to see you calmed downVerbal Kint said:Easy there, bud. Don't pop a vessel.
Clown Car
Footballguy
That is adorable!My 7 yo daughter to my 3.5 yo son: Christopher, come over here. I want to French kiss you.me:Daughter proceeds to peck son on each cheek the "French" way.
Clown Car
Footballguy
I am going to have our 7th child. When the 6th was born, the 1st came to the delivery, cut the chord, and had a great time. This time, the 2nd says she wants to go with us, too. We were considering it. She will be 10 and this will be our last.
Last night, the girls and I were watching a show about natural childbirth on TLC or Discovery Health. We watched 4 different births and they didn't leave too much out. I found it very interesting. My 2nd daughter said "yeah, don't plan on me going now. That was enough for me!"
Last night, the girls and I were watching a show about natural childbirth on TLC or Discovery Health. We watched 4 different births and they didn't leave too much out. I found it very interesting. My 2nd daughter said "yeah, don't plan on me going now. That was enough for me!"
pats3in4
Footballguy
My 4yr old must have overheard my wife give me an obligatory "Drive safe" comment one day while heading to work, so today she decided to mimick it and take it a few steps further...
Her: "Drive safe, daddy."
Me: (surprised) "Okay, I will."
Her: "Don't bump into any other cars."
Me:
"Okay, I won't."
Her: "Just drive over them."
Me: "Okay, I will."
Her: "Drive safe, daddy."
Me: (surprised) "Okay, I will."
Her: "Don't bump into any other cars."
Me:
"Okay, I won't."Her: "Just drive over them."
Me:
"Okay, I will."
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
Clown Car said:
Did she twirl it around her head like a lasso?
Verbal Kint
Footballguy
Yeah, I ran out of Ritilin for a couple days. I'd still like some pics though.glad to see you calmed downVerbal Kint said:Easy there, bud. Don't pop a vessel.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
It's a ######; not a... nevermind.Clown Car said:
ffjunk
Footballguy
Jaysus
Good times!
lol - smart one you've got there! I like it!
snellman
Footballguy
We were sitting at the supper table the other night and my 6 yr old was talking about what he wants to be when he grows up and he said he was going to have a dog and a kid.
My wife asked him if he was going to have a wife and he said no. She proceeded to ask him why he was not going to have a wife and he said "because they always boss you around." She then made the mistake of asking him who told him that to which he replied, "no one, you always boss dad around."
She was
I was
My wife asked him if he was going to have a wife and he said no. She proceeded to ask him why he was not going to have a wife and he said "because they always boss you around." She then made the mistake of asking him who told him that to which he replied, "no one, you always boss dad around."
She was
I was
Steel Dillo
Footballguy
On MLK day, I forgot that school was closed.
When I went to get my 6yo daughter out of bed to get ready for Kindergarten, she promptly reminded me...
"I don't have to go to school today. It's brown peoples day."
It took awhile for me to get what she meant and then I was at a loss for what to say.
When I went to get my 6yo daughter out of bed to get ready for Kindergarten, she promptly reminded me...
"I don't have to go to school today. It's brown peoples day."
It took awhile for me to get what she meant and then I was at a loss for what to say.
TommyGilmore
Footballguy
Is that how they explain it in Texas schools?
Steel Dillo
Footballguy
Not at all. That's why I was speechless.I guess it was just a simple interpretation she made on her own.
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
SPM
Footballguy
Clown Car said:Did she twirl it around her head like a lasso?
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Wife: Here Cal, drink the rest of your milk.
Cal: Thanks Honey.
Wife. Call. Me. Mom.
Cal: Alright sweet heart.
Cal: Thanks Honey.
Wife. Call. Me. Mom.
Cal: Alright sweet heart.
badger
Footballguy
We have a 7yo beagle. I was standing in the doorway holding the leash and the dog was outside in the dark doing her bidness. My 4yo walks up to me and says this:
HIM: "Is the doggy dead?"
ME: "No, she's not dead."
HIM: "Let me see."
(shows him as she walks back in the house.)
HIM: "Oh, when she dies, I want to drive the car to get a new one.....but you are going to have to help me drive."
HIM: "Is the doggy dead?"
ME: "No, she's not dead."
HIM: "Let me see."
(shows him as she walks back in the house.)
HIM: "Oh, when she dies, I want to drive the car to get a new one.....but you are going to have to help me drive."
snellman
Footballguy
Another one from my 6 yr old son tonight:
He came into the living room saying he was going to get sick so we told him to go into the bathroom. He went into the bathroom, got sick, and came back out saying:
"now my heart is beating fast, what if I am having a baby and I don't know it."
He came into the living room saying he was going to get sick so we told him to go into the bathroom. He went into the bathroom, got sick, and came back out saying:
"now my heart is beating fast, what if I am having a baby and I don't know it."
GTBilly
Footballguy
I know he isn't a kid but it was a moment that was funny, serious and endearing all the same.
My brother tells me his wife is having a baby and I'm going to be an Uncle for the first time. Quickly follows it with this line:
"Jesus I hope I never have to look at my kid the way Dad looked at us when we were being completely stupid..."
My brother tells me his wife is having a baby and I'm going to be an Uncle for the first time. Quickly follows it with this line:
"Jesus I hope I never have to look at my kid the way Dad looked at us when we were being completely stupid..."
quotheraven
Footballguy
We bought a used minivan about 3 months ago, and it has been in the shop more than we have had it. My son, who is 12, piped up the other day as we were taking it into the shop for another problem, "why don't we use the banana rule and jsut give this piece of crap back." "Banana rule", I said, "what in the world is a banana rule?" He said, "you know that rule that if a car is a clunker, you can take it back." "Oh, you mean the lemon law," I said, laughing. "Well, they're both yellow and both a fruit." I almost wrecked the car and solved our problem. We still laugh about it.
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
Wife: Here Cal, drink the rest of your milk.Cal: Thanks Honey.Wife. Call. Me. Mom.Cal: Alright sweet heart.
How old?
belljr
Footballguy
Wife: Here Cal, drink the rest of your milk.Cal: Thanks Honey.Wife. Call. Me. Mom.Cal: Alright sweet heart.
This isn't really that funny but it cracks me up every time.Me: Hey there's my pretty baby.Her: NO, I'm a BIG Girl.Me: But aren't you daddy's sweety?Her: NO I'M A BIG GIRL.Me: Ok OK.. How's Daddy's Big girl doing.Her: I'm JUST A BIG GIRL!!!!!!me: 
How's my Big Girl doing.Her: Good, daddy. I love you..me:
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fake_15
Footballguy
You gotta get that on tape.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
He'll be 5, 5/15.If looks could kill, my head would have exploded.
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
This happened:
My five year old was playing with his cousins this week. The younger cousin took my son's toy away from him and my son didn't like it. So he responded by jumping on his cousin's cheast with both knees. After we we sure than my son hadn't killed his cousin, we ended the evening and went home. I told my son that it's not appropriate to attack people and he needs to resolve conflicts with words. He said, "I can't help it. That's just my sense of humor."
My five year old was playing with his cousins this week. The younger cousin took my son's toy away from him and my son didn't like it. So he responded by jumping on his cousin's cheast with both knees. After we we sure than my son hadn't killed his cousin, we ended the evening and went home. I told my son that it's not appropriate to attack people and he needs to resolve conflicts with words. He said, "I can't help it. That's just my sense of humor."
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
Another:
My son has decided that his younger cousin is his enemy.
So this week, my son says, "Dad, do you know why I want to take Karate?"
Me: "Why?"
Him: "So I can kill Timmy."
My son has decided that his younger cousin is his enemy.
So this week, my son says, "Dad, do you know why I want to take Karate?"
Me: "Why?"
Him: "So I can kill Timmy."
General Malaise
Footballguy
I was taking the boys up the mountain to go tubing on MLK day. I used the hour long drive to ask the boys if they knew who's birthday it was we were celebrating and my oldest fired back "Martin Luther King's Birthday!". I congratulated him on knowing that and before I began talking about MLK and his importance, my little guy piped up with "Hey, I wanted to go to his birthday party!" as if he was missing out on cake and ice cream.
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
He doesn't torture small animals does he?
General Malaise
Footballguy
My 4 year old also revealed to us over dinner the other night that "All women walk around with babies in their bellies."
I'm not sure what to tell him here, so I'm just going to let him live with this impression for as long as he likes. He's damn sure of it though...that's for certain.
I'm not sure what to tell him here, so I'm just going to let him live with this impression for as long as he likes. He's damn sure of it though...that's for certain.
Verbal Kint
Footballguy
What's his persuasion on women wearing shoes? and vacating the kitchen?
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
Thankfully not. I've decided that little boys are all sociopaths.
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
Can't remember if I posted this before:
My wife asked my little nephew, "So Timmy, who watches you when you're at the park and your dad's playing volleyball?"
Timmy: "Monsters."
My wife asked my little nephew, "So Timmy, who watches you when you're at the park and your dad's playing volleyball?"
Timmy: "Monsters."
Socrates11
Footballguy
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Oh he had a smile from ear-to-ear which made the look my wife gave me all the more funnier.Wife: Here Cal, drink the rest of your milk.Cal: Thanks Honey.Wife. Call. Me. Mom.Cal: Alright sweet heart.
regularguy
Footballguy
So, my wife and I were playing Super Mario Galaxy last night with our 3.5 year old son as the unofficial 3rd player. He loves this game so much even though he's not coordinated enough yet to actually play it himself. He just lives and dies with it. His dad mostly just dies with it as I don't deal with frustrating levels very well. Last night, I kept falling off the edge of this narrow pathway and dying, but I was keeping my anger pretty well in check. My son must have sensed it though as I fell off and died yet again he said "That's bull####."
I didn't know whether to give him a high-five or scold him.
I didn't know whether to give him a high-five or scold him.
smotherhook
Footballguy
Me: you have to start pooping in the potty
Son: okay, ill wipe on the hard ones, you wipe on the soft ones
Me: deal
later in the day, son on potty
Son: daddy, its a softie
Son: okay, ill wipe on the hard ones, you wipe on the soft ones
Me: deal
later in the day, son on potty
Son: daddy, its a softie
