I'll start this off by saying that I love my wife, and that I don't want anything but for us to live a long and happy life together. She is an amazing wife and mother in almost all respects.
But, she's overweight. And not "just a couple pounds" overweight. We're talking probably at least 60-70 #'s higher than the day we said 'I do'. We've been married over 10 years and it's been about a year since the last kid. She's never been "skinny", and so I don't expect her to be that. But I'm getting to the point where it's really starting to bother me.
It's not that she doesn't know she's overweight. She knows it. She's always struggled with it. She's never been a lazy person, but she does have problems with food. You name the diet programs and she's tried them. Each time it just ends with me being frustrated that she's throwing money away by giving up X number of days/weeks into it, and her being upset at me for "not understanding".
I work full time. She works at home part-time while taking care of the kids (though we have a babysitter/nanny for more hours per day at home than I'd prefer). She's got a lot on her plate and we don't have the time or money to hire her a personal trainer/nutritionist and send her to the gym for an hour a day.
Meanwhile, sex has dropped off considerably over the last few years. Partially due to kids, I'll admit. But nowadays the kids are in bed by 8 or 9 and there's plenty of time that we COULD spend together. I think her weight gain has affected her sex drive considerably, and if she felt better about herself she would be a lot more interested. And I guess her weight gain has affected MY sex drive as well. I really find it amazing how our connection to each other really seems to ebb and flow with our sex life.
I DO know how hard it is for her. She doesn't want to weigh what she does. But right now her will to change is not greater than her will to eat or be healthy. I want her to get back to her old self for the purposes stated above, but I also want her to be around for a while, and she's not at a healthy weight.
She knows I'd prefer her skinnier, but I have NOT told her that it's really been bothering me. It's a delicate conversation and a delicate situation, where "Just tell her to get her fat ### in shape!" is just not the best approach.
I know everyone here has supermodel wives but maybe there's a few average FBG's who have come out on the victorious side of this problem and now have better-than-ever relationships with their wives. What did it take? What did you do?
All responses welcome.
But, she's overweight. And not "just a couple pounds" overweight. We're talking probably at least 60-70 #'s higher than the day we said 'I do'. We've been married over 10 years and it's been about a year since the last kid. She's never been "skinny", and so I don't expect her to be that. But I'm getting to the point where it's really starting to bother me.
It's not that she doesn't know she's overweight. She knows it. She's always struggled with it. She's never been a lazy person, but she does have problems with food. You name the diet programs and she's tried them. Each time it just ends with me being frustrated that she's throwing money away by giving up X number of days/weeks into it, and her being upset at me for "not understanding".
I work full time. She works at home part-time while taking care of the kids (though we have a babysitter/nanny for more hours per day at home than I'd prefer). She's got a lot on her plate and we don't have the time or money to hire her a personal trainer/nutritionist and send her to the gym for an hour a day.
Meanwhile, sex has dropped off considerably over the last few years. Partially due to kids, I'll admit. But nowadays the kids are in bed by 8 or 9 and there's plenty of time that we COULD spend together. I think her weight gain has affected her sex drive considerably, and if she felt better about herself she would be a lot more interested. And I guess her weight gain has affected MY sex drive as well. I really find it amazing how our connection to each other really seems to ebb and flow with our sex life.
I DO know how hard it is for her. She doesn't want to weigh what she does. But right now her will to change is not greater than her will to eat or be healthy. I want her to get back to her old self for the purposes stated above, but I also want her to be around for a while, and she's not at a healthy weight.
She knows I'd prefer her skinnier, but I have NOT told her that it's really been bothering me. It's a delicate conversation and a delicate situation, where "Just tell her to get her fat ### in shape!" is just not the best approach.
I know everyone here has supermodel wives but maybe there's a few average FBG's who have come out on the victorious side of this problem and now have better-than-ever relationships with their wives. What did it take? What did you do?
All responses welcome.