The Yin and Yang of parenting kids who play sports (1 Viewer)

[Charlie Steiner]

For years, one of the main things I tried to reinforce to my son over the years is how much everything has to go exactly right for one to be able to go as far as they can in sports, and avoiding drugs and alcohol was one of the few things he would be able to control.  Well, after his team secured the last conference playoff spot (only the winner of the conference playoffs goes to the College World Series), he and a bunch of his teammates decided to skip the Senior Day festivities and go have their own party away from the coaches and parents.  My son apparently returned very late to his dorm and was so drunk that when he got up to go to the bathroom, he went into the room on the floor above him and scared the bejezus out of the girls who were in there. The official story is that he turned right back around and left without further issue, but the girls were freaked out and called campus security.  He had to appear before the school authorities yesterday morning (it's finals week now, so on top of this he's also trying to do well to end the semester). When my wife tells me all this, I was torn; I'm pretty sure he didn't drink in high school, and I was drinking at that point in my own life, so while I wasn't overly mad about the drinking per se, I was mad because he has so much to lose and has always known better than to do something to jeopardize his playing status.

The result of the meeting was that per school bylaws, the offenses that stuck to him, mainly the drinking and whatever the legal term for going into someone else's room without permission, carried a fine and mandatory participation in an alcohol awareness class.  The coach told him before the meeting that whatever punishment he got in the meeting was it, so his status on the team wasn't affected at all.

Now, what I consider the punch line to this story: today, he was named 1st team all-conference and conference rookie of the year.

 

[Arizona Ron]

Hope it’s a lesson learned and not a pattern starting.  Did the other kids get in trouble?

 

[Charlie Steiner]

Hope it’s a lesson learned and not a pattern starting.  Did the other kids get in trouble?

I haven't heard if anyone else got in trouble or not, but a) the older kids live off campus, b) the party was off campus and c) my son probably won't rat them out. Next to baseball, being with friends/ teammates means the most to him. 

 

[Charlie Steiner]

Plus, he's already seen other kids his age have their baseball careers cut short because of alcohol, including one he played with and against all the way into high school. 

 

[Sweet J]

1.  Congratulations on his success!  That's awesome, and I'm sure he worked hard for it.

2.  He really dodged a bullet here.

3.  There is a decent chance there is more to the story (he accidentally walked one floor up just to go to the bathroom?), so again: he REALLY dodged a bullet. 

4.  We can't have too many conversations with our son's about consent, especially where alcohol is involved. And how quickly things can go south if someone gets the wrong impression of facts.  It may not hurt to have a refresher.

 

[Stinkin Ref]

lol....if he played basketball or football and the team had this success and he was such a big part....he probably wouldn't have received any punishment...it would be like it never happened 

agreed it sounds like there is more to the story that you don't know and can probably guarantee this isn't the first time he hung with older players off campus and got smashed...and it won't be the last...

my daughter is still dating a young man from her college that got drafted last year by Tampa Bay and is currently playing in the minors...he and several of the the team members lived in one of these off campus houses and it was party central with different themes almost every night....monday was bowling night and then party, etc, etc...but one of the biggest was "Sunday Sweep No Sleep"...if they swept the weekend series, they stayed up partying all night because they usually had Monday's off (no games/practice, etc)....

 

[Quint]

For years, one of the main things I tried to reinforce to my son over the years is how much everything has to go exactly right for one to be able to go as far as they can in sports, and avoiding drugs and alcohol was one of the few things he would be able to control.  Well, after his team secured the last conference playoff spot (only the winner of the conference playoffs goes to the College World Series), he and a bunch of his teammates decided to skip the Senior Day festivities and go have their own party away from the coaches and parents.  My son apparently returned very late to his dorm and was so drunk that when he got up to go to the bathroom, he went into the room on the floor above him and scared the bejezus out of the girls who were in there. The official story is that he turned right back around and left without further issue, but the girls were freaked out and called campus security.  He had to appear before the school authorities yesterday morning (it's finals week now, so on top of this he's also trying to do well to end the semester). When my wife tells me all this, I was torn; I'm pretty sure he didn't drink in high school, and I was drinking at that point in my own life, so while I wasn't overly mad about the drinking per se, I was mad because he has so much to lose and has always known better than to do something to jeopardize his playing status.

The result of the meeting was that per school bylaws, the offenses that stuck to him, mainly the drinking and whatever the legal term for going into someone else's room without permission, carried a fine and mandatory participation in an alcohol awareness class.  The coach told him before the meeting that whatever punishment he got in the meeting was it, so his status on the team wasn't affected at all.

Now, what I consider the punch line to this story: today, he was named 1st team all-conference and conference rookie of the year.

thank you for typing "Yin and Yang" and not the other thing. 

congrats on your son's success. 

 

[Charlie Steiner]

1.  Congratulations on his success!  That's awesome, and I'm sure he worked hard for it.

2.  He really dodged a bullet here.

3.  There is a decent chance there is more to the story (he accidentally walked one floor up just to go to the bathroom?), so again: he REALLY dodged a bullet. 

4.  We can't have too many conversations with our son's about consent, especially where alcohol is involved. And how quickly things can go south if someone gets the wrong impression of facts.  It may not hurt to have a refresher.

Regarding the story, I tend to believe him only because he shouldn't have much if any previous experience with being as drunk as he claims, so being disorientated would be pretty new to him. He was making noise earlier in the year about 'finally' getting a car, but now I have more reason to put that off even longer.

 

[belljr]

Meh - I wouldn't be too hard on him.   We did some DUMB #### in college that we most likely would be punished for today.  Team bonding went a little over board.

I'd remind him to be careful but not sure I'd be real mad about it

 

[Charlie Steiner]

lol....if he played basketball or football and the team had this success and he was such a big part....he probably wouldn't have received any punishment...it would be like it never happened 

agreed it sounds like there is more to the story that you don't know and can probably guarantee this isn't the first time he hung with older players off campus and got smashed...and it won't be the last...

my daughter is still dating a young man from her college that got drafted last year by Tampa Bay and is currently playing in the minors...he and several of the the team members lived in one of these off campus houses and it was party central with different themes almost every night....monday was bowling night and then party, etc, etc...but one of the biggest was "Sunday Sweep No Sleep"...if they swept the weekend series, they stayed up partying all night because they usually had Monday's off (no games/practice, etc)....

It wouldn't surprise me too much, but he lives on campus and they wouldn't have had much time for partying on the weekends. I'm 99.9 percent sure this wasn't happening in the Fall semester, as he was unhappy enough that he was talking about transferring before this semester had started. Before this incident he was trying to live off campus for next year, but that fell through anyway. ?

 

[Charlie Steiner]

Meh - I wouldn't be too hard on him.   We did some DUMB #### in college that we most likely would be punished for today.  Team bonding went a little over board.

I'd remind him to be careful but not sure I'd be real mad about it

He went to my wife with this so I haven't spoken to him about it yet. I just plan on saying "I thought you didn't like drinking." and see where that leads.

 

[belljr]

lol....if he played basketball or football and the team had this success and he was such a big part....he probably wouldn't have received any punishment...it would be like it never happened 

agreed it sounds like there is more to the story that you don't know and can probably guarantee this isn't the first time he hung with older players off campus and got smashed...and it won't be the last...

my daughter is still dating a young man from her college that got drafted last year by Tampa Bay and is currently playing in the minors...he and several of the the team members lived in one of these off campus houses and it was party central with different themes almost every night....monday was bowling night and then party, etc, etc...but one of the biggest was "Sunday Sweep No Sleep"...if they swept the weekend series, they stayed up partying all night because they usually had Monday's off (no games/practice, etc)....

NO SHOWER SUNDAYS!#!@!#@

 

[Bull Dozier]

Congrats on your kid's success.

As others have said, most of us have done some stupid stuff in college.  I assume my kids will do stupid stuff in high school/college as well, but would hope they take care to manage their situation to avoid serious consequences (as I tried to).  If this is all there is to the story, I'm glad the consequences weren't too severe, and hopefully enough to keep him on the straight and narrow so he can take advantage of the opportunity he has.

 

[Maik Jeaunz]

sounds like it was probably just a one time thing to celebrate with the guys. just reinforce how one bad decision can impact the rest of your life. there are plenty of examples of professional athletes ruining their careers & lives over one bad decision. if he's a good kid, he'll get it.

 

[TheFanatic]

I would say, "I'm not mad about this. I know what happens in college. I'm not mad until this becomes a pattern. You want to cut loose and blow off steam to celebrate a big win or accomplishment, go for it. But if this becomes a pattern then we will be making some changes."

 

[sublimeone]

Sounds like your son actually has a lot to lose. Remind him of that. I'd tell him you'd prefer he focused and school/sports and didn't drink at all... but you've also been in college and know what the atmosphere is like. If you're going to drink, have a few beers maybe even a few more on occasion, celebrate. bond with your teammates... no big deal. But getting plastered is unacceptable. So many people have ruined their lives because they got completely s-faced and did something disastrous.