McGarnicle
Footballguy
Or "This one was completely nuts", "Thank god for restraining orders", etc.
You want them to believe you've led an interesting life and lots of women lost their minds from devotion to you.
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***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter Woz
- Start date
You want them to believe you've led an interesting life and lots of women lost their minds from devotion to you.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Matched with a 33-year old on Bumble who opened with a statement like "Oh no, I think we've gone round with this before." I didn't remember her at all and so (trying to be funny) I asked how it went. She replied "obviously not well." Again trying to be funny I said that we matched again so maybe we should give Fate a chance. No reply, so a couple of days later I asked her where things went wrong, if maybe she had accidentally used my toothbrush one morning or something. She said, "Let me see..." and proceeded to tell me how I "dress like a dad," look much older than her, and listed all the inappropriate clothes that I am apparently wearing in my pics. :style:
I glanced at her profile again this morning and noticed she added the following to the end: "I am an acquired taste. If you don't like me, acquire some taste."
UNMATCHED.
I glanced at her profile again this morning and noticed she added the following to the end: "I am an acquired taste. If you don't like me, acquire some taste."
UNMATCHED.
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Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
F her. If you can't find someone to embrace your sporty t-shirt and gym shorts, then, to put it quite frankly, SHE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!1!~
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
Matched with a chick on Tinder ( 
) a couple weeks ago and chitchatted for a week or so. She lives an hour away, but was coming to my city last Friday, so we met up for brunch. Good time was had, so we lined up another date for this past Friday. I drove to her little podunk town this time. We had a drink at her place, then went to the local Mexican place and had dinner and a couple more drinks. She proceeds to buy my dinner, then we went back to her place and chitchatted for a bit, then very enthusiastically made out on her couch for a while (I've got a couple of scratches on my lower back). It was late and I had to drive back, but we agreed we should definitely see each other again soon. Pretty girl, in pretty good shape, 4 years younger than me, has no kids and has her life together (work from home job, owns her own place, etc.) and seems very interested in me. This could get interesting.
) a couple weeks ago and chitchatted for a week or so. She lives an hour away, but was coming to my city last Friday, so we met up for brunch. Good time was had, so we lined up another date for this past Friday. I drove to her little podunk town this time. We had a drink at her place, then went to the local Mexican place and had dinner and a couple more drinks. She proceeds to buy my dinner, then we went back to her place and chitchatted for a bit, then very enthusiastically made out on her couch for a while (I've got a couple of scratches on my lower back). It was late and I had to drive back, but we agreed we should definitely see each other again soon. Pretty girl, in pretty good shape, 4 years younger than me, has no kids and has her life together (work from home job, owns her own place, etc.) and seems very interested in me. This could get interesting.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Nothing new with assistant teeth?Matched with a chick on Tinder (
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
We keep in touch a couple times a week via text and still see her on occasion. But until she decides she is ready to put forth some effort, not actively pursuing that one any more. 
dhockster
Footballguy
How was her hug game?Matched with a chick on Tinder (
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
dhockster
Footballguy
Matched with a hot-looking girl on Tinder. I sent a message saying hello and she replied saying "Oh boo I just saw how far away you are." I asked where she lived and she told me. It's 94 miles as the crow flies but 2.5 hours' drive. No good way to get there from here.
She's pretty hot so I'm trying to think of some way to see if I can hold her interest and somehow work her into meeting at some point. Any ideas on a witty reply on how distance doesn't matter or I'm worth it or...?
She's pretty hot so I'm trying to think of some way to see if I can hold her interest and somehow work her into meeting at some point. Any ideas on a witty reply on how distance doesn't matter or I'm worth it or...?
Rirruto
Footballguy
I'm dipping my toe back in the water after a half year retirement/medium term relationship. I forgot how much I loved the slutty picture/"looking for someone who loves Jesus as much as I do" combo. I've got to meet one of these girls. Just to see what they're really like.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
I don't see why you can't offer to meet halfway. If she's that interested then that is fair.
Until you know her better and you both like each other beyond your hotnesses, I wouldnt do the full drive over.
Uruk-Hai
Footballguy
I'm a non-religious person who responded a couple of years ago to a profile of someone who obviously was. She didn't have a slutty pic, nor did she make a statement about loving Jesus a (supposed) prerequisite like your example. Another caveat: I'm in my 50s and tend to date women around my own age. And, one more: I'm in a rural area and it's tough to find the kind of women I tend to find attractive within a practical distance. So your age, preference, and location may be tons different than mine.
I don't remember exactly how she expressed her love of God in her profile, but it was fairly benign and felt organic enough to me that I - who usually runs like hell from church-y-ness - had no compunction about responding to her. She had pictures posted and I thought she was very attractive. Her profile was witty and smart.
We chatted back and forth for a bit and decided to meet. She asked me to pick a time and place, so I chose a local sports bar chain location (think: BWW type of place) on a Saturday for lunch. I got there early and sat at the bar, reading the newspaper. The bartender was a 20-something woman who asked if I wanted to order some food. I told her I was waiting on someone and that it was a blind date. She looked at me horrified and asked "what if she's like 200 pounds?" (this chick wasn't tiny herself).
Anyway, Church Lady shows up, looks exactly like her pictures, is fantastic & funny, and we have a great time. I was drinking beer and she was doing water. She lived really close to where we met, and we ended up at her place. In the natural course of conversation (I think I asked if she wanted a beer), she told me she was in AA. That kind of threw me for a minute - I had mentioned how much I liked making my own beer and asked her to meet me at a freaking BAR - but she was cool about it.
Besides going to AA, she attended church on the regular. She also ####ed my brains out on our first date.
We dated for a few months. While she often talked about God, she also cursed. And she loved sex and talking dirty.
Timing and schedule made it tough to sustain, though. She worked nights and I work days. Then she had her meetings and times with her son (he was grown, but required some time every other week). Finally, we decided to chill out and take the pressure off - it had gotten to "ok, Sunday 1:47 p.m. to 3:16 good for you?".
We're still friends - she really IS a great person - but don't do the romantic thing anymore.
This probably isn't as shtick-filled as you'd like, but it's a real example of a non-religious person dating someone who is.
Rirruto
Footballguy
The NCAA games right now suck, and I've previously posted about my success, so it's only right to put my failures right out there also. Plus, pics.
I matched with this former D-1 cheerleader. This is only really important because I met up with and had fun with a cheerleader from a different conference last fall (AAC). I'm trying to hit all of the conferences. Anyway. We're talking throughout the day and things are going well. I'm out watching the games at a bar and blowing up the Tournament Shtick thread with up posts of varying quality when I get Bumble message.
"You want to meet me out?" This is normally something I wouldn't do. It's Saturday +I know her friends are going to be there + basketball is on + this is a recipe for disaster. But I have a goal, and by god, I'm going to get there (Sunbelt Conference, I'm coming at you this week). I get her # and she tells me to call right away. I do and the person on the other end of the line is clearly out of it and doesn't exactly know who I am. She says to meet at this other bar. I tell her I'm going to have another and tab out. She says, "I'm here with a bunch of lesbians." If I'd only known.
Fast forward 30 or so minutes. I show up at other bar and belly up to the bar to get a beer. I text her and she tells me where she is. I walk over to the table and it is immediately the most awkward thing ever. The girls start going in on me. Not aggressively or overtly mean, but they want me to know I'm there to be ####ed with. And I know I have thousands of posts on a fantasy football message board, but I can be charming. I start working the table and things are going okay. It starts to turn around a little.
I start chatting with Chief Lesbian because the girl I'm there for is clearly out of it. I'm not sure if she's on something or just really, really drunk. I expected the Cheerleader to be a little thick. I was honestly on the fence about arranging a date before all of this, but I was wrong. She was looking super great, and Chief Lesbian was just as hot. I start to hear giggles from the Cheerleader and random lesbians who aren't important to the story. I figure they're talking #### about me. Whatever. I'm finishing my beer. I get that this is a "let's invite this guy out and bust on him" but whatever. Cheerleader then grabs Chief Lesbian and starts aggressively making out with her. She then goes around the table and makes out with about half of the 6 or so girls there. I'm not sure how she chose.
Anyway the girls are lightly busting my balls and this is just an awkward situation. Cheerleader and Chief Lesbian go to the bathroom as I'm finishing my beer. I go to the bar and pay my tab. Cheerleader calls me a couple of times and blows up my phone trying to get me to come back. I think I might follow up with her this week to see if this is salvageable (because the Pac12 is tough where I live), but this was an obvious sucker bet.
Moral of the story: don't make decisions drunk that you wouldn't make sober. Meeting a girl with a gaggle of her lesbian friends is probably not advisable.
I matched with this former D-1 cheerleader. This is only really important because I met up with and had fun with a cheerleader from a different conference last fall (AAC). I'm trying to hit all of the conferences. Anyway. We're talking throughout the day and things are going well. I'm out watching the games at a bar and blowing up the Tournament Shtick thread with up posts of varying quality when I get Bumble message.
"You want to meet me out?" This is normally something I wouldn't do. It's Saturday +I know her friends are going to be there + basketball is on + this is a recipe for disaster. But I have a goal, and by god, I'm going to get there (Sunbelt Conference, I'm coming at you this week). I get her # and she tells me to call right away. I do and the person on the other end of the line is clearly out of it and doesn't exactly know who I am. She says to meet at this other bar. I tell her I'm going to have another and tab out. She says, "I'm here with a bunch of lesbians." If I'd only known.
Fast forward 30 or so minutes. I show up at other bar and belly up to the bar to get a beer. I text her and she tells me where she is. I walk over to the table and it is immediately the most awkward thing ever. The girls start going in on me. Not aggressively or overtly mean, but they want me to know I'm there to be ####ed with. And I know I have thousands of posts on a fantasy football message board, but I can be charming. I start working the table and things are going okay. It starts to turn around a little.
I start chatting with Chief Lesbian because the girl I'm there for is clearly out of it. I'm not sure if she's on something or just really, really drunk. I expected the Cheerleader to be a little thick. I was honestly on the fence about arranging a date before all of this, but I was wrong. She was looking super great, and Chief Lesbian was just as hot. I start to hear giggles from the Cheerleader and random lesbians who aren't important to the story. I figure they're talking #### about me. Whatever. I'm finishing my beer. I get that this is a "let's invite this guy out and bust on him" but whatever. Cheerleader then grabs Chief Lesbian and starts aggressively making out with her. She then goes around the table and makes out with about half of the 6 or so girls there. I'm not sure how she chose.
Anyway the girls are lightly busting my balls and this is just an awkward situation. Cheerleader and Chief Lesbian go to the bathroom as I'm finishing my beer. I go to the bar and pay my tab. Cheerleader calls me a couple of times and blows up my phone trying to get me to come back. I think I might follow up with her this week to see if this is salvageable (because the Pac12 is tough where I live), but this was an obvious sucker bet.
Moral of the story: don't make decisions drunk that you wouldn't make sober. Meeting a girl with a gaggle of her lesbian friends is probably not advisable.
NotSmart
Footballguy
Keerock
Footballguy
mr fancypants
Footballguy
saintfool
Dead sexy
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Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
good luck cartoon satan.saintfool said:
Maik Jeaunz
Footballguy
65k texts, trespassing & a butcher knife after one date: https://jezebel.com/woman-who-allegedly-sent-man-65-000-texts-has-been-arre-1825944164
for guys dating online, be careful out there. the crazies are deep.
for guys dating online, be careful out there. the crazies are deep.
GoBirds
Footballguy
Congrats man! Did you try a bunch of sites or just match? I missed the cyber dating years, tinder would have been interesting.
sbonomo
Footballguy
Rirruto
Footballguy
Nothing good. Right after that I started seeing a girl that I knew from college. She's a slightly more attractive version of Mila Kunis, a lover of basketball, and I'm pretty sure she makes more money than me, so I obviously immediately took a job in another city. She drunk texted me this weekend.
I'll get back in the game in a couple of weeks when I get settled at work. Hopefully hilarity will ensue. I might cobble together a few other stories but I can never remember what I've told and what I haven't. I guess I never told the original cheerleader story about the one who "ballparked" that she'd been with 25 other girls because they "didn't count" and showed me her pierced nipples in the middle of a piano bar on a Wednesday. I'll type that out on Friday, I guess. It ended significantly better than the cheerleader story from up above.
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saintfool
Dead sexy
i was on a few sites when i first separated. OkC, Match, POF maybe. i had a year or so on the dating scene like that. it was fun, i guess, but i wasn't looking to sow my oats again really. Tinder was widely used by the over 40 with kid(s) crowd at the time. i never bothered with it.
Rirruto
Footballguy
If only there was a way we could let the FFA decide who was more attractive.We're gonna need to see
Oh, crap.
Is that even allowed anymore???
Major
Footballguy
One thing about these sites is that they're fun initially when the crop is fresh and the app is new. And then after about 3-6 months I start to get a bit bored. After 6 months-1year I rarely check. This has been me with Bumble as of late. Tinder got deleted a while back. Curious what's next. Haven't tried OKC, Match, POF since the 2004 or so.
ChainsawU
Footballguy
On Bumble when you match, it's the woman's job to reach out and message you first. Then you have 24 hours to reply before the match expires. I swipe right about 50 times a day - never left. I swipe right on every single woman, let the matches come in, and receive the subsequent messages. And boy I'll tell you what. I let them hoes expire. I let them expire like lettuce on a loading dock. And I feel like I'm in control.
ChainsawU
Footballguy
I've received a "hello" before. One time a woman began our conversation by thanking me. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DjE2sbZUcAAglfm.jpg
Rirruto
Footballguy
Generational ####overs: I don't care about foreign policy, tax policy, or entitlement spending. I care that I'm in the window when idating + eating rando ##### became the norm but before the HPV vaccination became ubiquitous. At least I know I'm dying of throat cancer. Everyone else has to wonder what's going to kill them. I know, #####es!
Rirruto
Footballguy
Please, continue the story.one chick sent me a pic that obviously wasn't her and then admitted (on the first date no less) that she slept with over 36 dudes (she was 22 years old) AND wasby a pair of brothers. To this day, I don't know if she meant actual brothers or black guys.
TIA
Rirruto
Footballguy
Rirruto
Footballguy
John Bender
Footballguy
Hi all. Going to be a fun few months/years 
NotSmart
Footballguy
NotSmart
Footballguy
Be sure to chronicle all your adventures here.Hi all. Going to be a fun few months/years
Godspeed.
John Bender
Footballguy
So I need to DL Tinder?
I met my current soon-to-be-ex-wife on EHarmony and that was the best for serious dating. However, that's a long ways down the road.
It's been quite some years I've been out of the game. Is there a FAQ anywhere?
I met my current soon-to-be-ex-wife on EHarmony and that was the best for serious dating. However, that's a long ways down the road.
It's been quite some years I've been out of the game. Is there a FAQ anywhere?
Rirruto
Footballguy
Depending on where you live Tinder and Bumble are still the GOAT. In a huuuge metropolis there are some other apps that could be useful. Post any questions or PM me and I'll give you a drunken answer. I've been moderately successful but it's my opinion that any dude who puts in a minimal amount of effort will get laid no matter how bad they are with women.
GoBirds
Footballguy
John Bender
Footballguy
Woops.
Been swiping left instead of right for the last half hour.
Been swiping left instead of right for the last half hour.
Galileo
Footballguy
![[icon]](/data/avatars/s/5/5167.jpg?1660313464){kind=avatar}
