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Dealing with retired relatives, or retired people in general (1 Viewer)

Da Guru

Da Guru

Fair & Balanced
My wife's aunt and uncle moved back to Michigan from Florida because they felt alone there.   So we have tried to include them into some of our plans.   They actually are really fun people who like to have a few drinks and laugh. And they will do things if nothing at all else is in their day. One thing going on and forget it.

The problem is anything they do is an all day thing.  Last week I called them to get together...the wife says "Well I am getting my nails done today and Rick is getting his haircut today as well....AND??   I worked out this morning, got bagels at Panera for my wife. walked the dog 3 miles, went to Kroger, and got the car washed and it is not 11am yet.

This goes on every time we ask them to do something...."Well I have a doctors appointment, Rick is getting the oil changed in the car"  Both were successful people with busy lives but now it seems like they can only do one thing per day.   They are not old, 63 and 62 and in very good shape.  

A couple of my neighbors have retired in the last 2 years and I have noticed the same with them. 

Is this what I have to look forward to??

 
My dad once referred to his retirement as having 4 Saturdays and 3 Sundays every week. I use that line and don't attribute it to him.  :D

To your point, it's good to remember that their generation is not the go-go-go of younger generations. Plus, they're worked for 40+ years to get to this point. They've got all the time in the world to do what they want to do. They don't have a list of things that must get done today.

I tell this joke to people about retirement:

A man goes to leave the house. As he goes to get his hat, his wife asks him "George, what are you doing today?"

George replies, "Just going down to the park to meet up with Gerald."

Wife: "What are you going to do?"

George: "Nothing."

Wife: "But you did that yesterday!"

George: "Well, we didn't get it all done."

 
Tom Servo said:
My dad once referred to his retirement as having 4 Saturdays and 3 Sundays every week. I use that line and don't attribute it to him.  :D

To your point, it's good to remember that their generation is not the go-go-go of younger generations. Plus, they're worked for 40+ years to get to this point. They've got all the time in the world to do what they want to do. They don't have a list of things that must get done today.

I tell this joke to people about retirement:

A man goes to leave the house. As he goes to get his hat, his wife asks him "George, what are you doing today?"

George replies, "Just going down to the park to meet up with Gerald."

Wife: "What are you going to do?"

George: "Nothing."

Wife: "But you did that yesterday!"

George: "Well, we didn't get it all done."
Click to expand...
That's a great joke and some sagacity in your other sentences in the post, man.  

Had to laugh.  

 
retirement is what ever you want it to be.  everyone can approach it how ever you want.

I have posted this sentiment a bunch but it never hurts to reiterate it.

For me, the single biggest change in retirement is when I wake up, I think "what do I want to do today?", instead of thinking "what do I have to do today?"

 
Tom Servo said:
My dad once referred to his retirement as having 4 Saturdays and 3 Sundays every week. I use that line and don't attribute it to him.  :D

To your point, it's good to remember that their generation is not the go-go-go of younger generations. Plus, they're worked for 40+ years to get to this point. They've got all the time in the world to do what they want to do. They don't have a list of things that must get done today.

I tell this joke to people about retirement:

A man goes to leave the house. As he goes to get his hat, his wife asks him "George, what are you doing today?"

George replies, "Just going down to the park to meet up with Gerald."

Wife: "What are you going to do?"

George: "Nothing."

Wife: "But you did that yesterday!"

George: "Well, we didn't get it all done."
Click to expand...
When my FIL retired he took up golf..and he always liked his beer.  Well it took 2 hours to play 9 holes and then he would sit in the clubhouse drinking for 4-5 hours with his retired buddies. I went with him a few times..all those geezers drove drunk home but it was usually 3-4 in the afternoon so nobody notices the weaving.

After a couple of years of that my MIL was ready to divorce him.  They had a built in pool so he quit playing golf and around noon everyday cracked his first beer and would sit around outside cleaning the pool and getting hammered everyday. The good thing is he was a happy drunk.  By 6pm he was wasted and usually in bed by 7-8.   That was basically his whole retirement days.

 
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Da Guru said:
My wife's aunt and uncle moved back to Michigan from Florida because they felt alone there.   So we have tried to include them into some of our plans.   They actually are really fun people who like to have a few drinks and laugh. And they will do things if nothing at all else is in their day. One thing going on and forget it.

The problem is anything they do is an all day thing.  Last week I called them to get together...the wife says "Well I am getting my nails done today and Rick is getting his haircut today as well....AND??   I worked out this morning, got bagels at Panera for my wife. walked the dog 3 miles, went to Kroger, and got the car washed and it is not 11am yet.

This goes on every time we ask them to do something...."Well I have a doctors appointment, Rick is getting the oil changed in the car"  Both were successful people with busy lives but now it seems like they can only do one thing per day.   They are not old, 63 and 62 and in very good shape.  

A couple of my neighbors have retired in the last 2 years and I have noticed the same with them. 

Is this what I have to look forward to??
Click to expand...
Yeah it’s pretty funny actually. We have some retired clients at our personal training studio. They will call to cancel a 3pm appointment cause they have a Dr. appointment in the morning and don’t know if they will be able to make it in. 

The busier you are the more efficient you get. 

 
Da Guru said:
My wife's aunt and uncle moved back to Michigan from Florida because they felt alone there.   So we have tried to include them into some of our plans.   They actually are really fun people who like to have a few drinks and laugh. And they will do things if nothing at all else is in their day. One thing going on and forget it.

The problem is anything they do is an all day thing.  Last week I called them to get together...the wife says "Well I am getting my nails done today and Rick is getting his haircut today as well....AND??   I worked out this morning, got bagels at Panera for my wife. walked the dog 3 miles, went to Kroger, and got the car washed and it is not 11am yet.

This goes on every time we ask them to do something...."Well I have a doctors appointment, Rick is getting the oil changed in the car"  Both were successful people with busy lives but now it seems like they can only do one thing per day.   They are not old, 63 and 62 and in very good shape.  

A couple of my neighbors have retired in the last 2 years and I have noticed the same with them. 

Is this what I have to look forward to??
Click to expand...
This is definitely what I'm looking forward to--but there's so many things in play it's likely going to take another 15 years. 

 
Mr. Mojo said:
I'm retired and I usually try to get at least one thing accomplished every day (big or small) and exercise every day.

The rest is flexible.
Click to expand...
we live a super simple retirement but I don't think I have regretted leaving my career behind even one day since I cut the string.  The worst day in retirement is still a ton better than sitting through another dumb meeting.

 
WhatDoIKnow said:
Retired buddy is like this. Owns a bunch of rental houses and I'll help him with some odds and ends. We usually start at 10 AM, and by noon it's "well, I think that's enough for the day."

He does things at his own pace. If a group of us want to leave at 9, we tell him we're leaving at 8.
Click to expand...
That is what I am hoping to do one day.  To have 2-3 rental properties to keep me busy but not too busy and for investments. 

 
well, as a retired, it's mostly two things - when you find out life is meaningless after all, you either stop kidding yourself or wrap your closest memories around you and dont look past em. #2 is how disappointing y'all worthless, ungrateful punks turned out to be. hustlin day & eve to provide then coming home to spend all night in a steamy bathroom with the croupy one and going 14 straight years without a moment to yourself for this?!?! ####, yeah, i'm slowin down.

 
Cjw_55106 said:
Not sure what the title of the thread is supposed to mean? It seems they are having to deal with you. 
Click to expand...
They ask us out all the time..we just can`t make it to the "Early Bird" specials on work days and they won`t go out to dinner past 6.

 
Da Guru said:
My wife's aunt and uncle moved back to Michigan from Florida because they felt alone there.   So we have tried to include them into some of our plans.   They actually are really fun people who like to have a few drinks and laugh. And they will do things if nothing at all else is in their day. One thing going on and forget it.

The problem is anything they do is an all day thing.  Last week I called them to get together...the wife says "Well I am getting my nails done today and Rick is getting his haircut today as well....AND??   I worked out this morning, got bagels at Panera for my wife. walked the dog 3 miles, went to Kroger, and got the car washed and it is not 11am yet.

This goes on every time we ask them to do something...."Well I have a doctors appointment, Rick is getting the oil changed in the car"  Both were successful people with busy lives but now it seems like they can only do one thing per day.   They are not old, 63 and 62 and in very good shape.  

A couple of my neighbors have retired in the last 2 years and I have noticed the same with them. 

Is this what I have to look forward to??
Click to expand...
Retired, old people have nothing to do all day but are some of the most impatient people in the world when it comes to standing in line for something.  

 
Retired 4.5 yrs ago.  I worked hard and played hard for 30+ years.  Lots of travel, long hours, lots of golf and partying in off hours.  Never missed any of my son's baseball, football, soccer, basketball games unless I was out of town.  

I pick up my daughter at school most every day and get to spend lots of time with her and really get to know her.  I stay up late and sleep late.  I do whatever I want ...which is mostly relax.  I am just now starting to get to the point where I am thinking about working out and maybe starting working towards playing some competitive golf. 

Now I get antsy when I have an appointment coming up - because that means I have to do something.  :D

 
chet said:
I'm 46 and about to quit my day job.  I will still have some professional responsibilities but may never work a regular job again.  i have to admit, it's a little daunting.
Click to expand...
I got out at 42 and never looked back.  You have your whole life to do anything you want.   It is not at all daunting (at least in no negative way).

 
My in laws always say they don't have enough time to do things.  It's mostly because they do dumb ### all day.  

 
I think it's good for old people to also think that they are a lot busier than they are.  It gives them a sense of purpose which is important when you no longer have a job and kids to look after.  

 
Da Guru said:
When my FIL retired he took up golf..and he always liked his beer.  Well it took 2 hours to play 9 holes and then he would sit in the clubhouse drinking for 4-5 hours with his retired buddies. I went with him a few times..all those geezers drove drunk home but it was usually 3-4 in the afternoon so nobody notices the weaving.

After a couple of years of that my MIL was ready to divorce him.  They had a built in pool so he quit playing golf and around noon everyday cracked his first beer and would sit around outside cleaning the pool and getting hammered everyday. The good thing is he was a happy drunk.  By 6pm he was wasted and usually in bed by 7-8.   That was basically his whole retirement days.
Click to expand...
That sounds glorious.

 
NutterButter said:
Can you tell them to at least put a towel on.   
Click to expand...
Though there is a large shower and lockers, very few shower there, most just drive their golf cart home when they want to clean up.

It is mostly a men's only bar with TVs, poker tables, pool table and regular tables.  Lots of drinkin', gamblin', and cussin'.

 
my mom and her husband retired last year. they do whatever they want, whenever they want & take as long as they want.  what's the problem?

75% of the time they have no idea what day of the week it is and just operate on island time. 

good for them, i say. do what you want in retirement. you've earned it.

 
My dad just retired (69) and now he focuses on his workouts. He was always a marathon runner and tri-athlete. He spends about 5-6 hours a day working out. He ran 15 miles yesterday.

 
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Da Guru said:
When my FIL retired he took up golf..and he always liked his beer.  Well it took 2 hours to play 9 holes and then he would sit in the clubhouse drinking for 4-5 hours with his retired buddies. I went with him a few times..all those geezers drove drunk home but it was usually 3-4 in the afternoon so nobody notices the weaving.

After a couple of years of that my MIL was ready to divorce him.  They had a built in pool so he quit playing golf and around noon everyday cracked his first beer and would sit around outside cleaning the pool and getting hammered everyday. The good thing is he was a happy drunk.  By 6pm he was wasted and usually in bed by 7-8.   That was basically his whole retirement days.
Click to expand...
He is my hero.   I would like to study under him.   Can you set up a consultation?

 
NewlyRetired said:
we live a super simple retirement but I don't think I have regretted leaving my career behind even one day since I cut the string.  The worst day in retirement is still a ton better than sitting through another dumb meeting.
Click to expand...
BRB - I'll finish the thread after this dumb meeting I have to go to.

 
When I was unemployed for an extended time during the Great Recession- I could see how that ends up happening to a degree.

For half a year, I didn't change much. My job was to get a job. Get up in the morning spend 7-8 hours a day doing things to get a job. As time went on, I would end up spending about an hour of time looking for a job and the rest of the day was on here debating things in 20 different threads and making comments trying to be funny here and there. A doctors appointment? Run an errand for my wife? Ok, sure, but man would that throw the whole day in confusion for me. It was rough to fit two extra things into the day!

 
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