Sportsmanship- A nice thing or real value? (1 Viewer)

[Chadstroma]

I am a big proponent of sportsmanship. I teach it to my kids, I demand it on the teams I coach and I do my best to live it out in my life. With my role as a coach, pretty much everything I do has a purpose behind it that I have thought through at some level. Through a discussion in a basketball coaches group on Facebook, I realized that my position for being a big proponent of sportsmanship was not really ever thought out... it was just 'the right thing to do'. The discussion, through someone who was pushing a narrative that essentially sportsmanship is a luxury and that teaching kids to be resilient and growing through a perpetual state of being uncomfortable. I was fine with what he was saying about instilling with the kids I coach that life isn't fair and that you need to focus on controlling what you can control, work to put yourself in the best position possible and don't give up through the hardships. It is a point of emphasis this year specifically for my 5th grade team but something I always try to develop with those I coach.

However, I didn't like how he devalued sportsmanship. It forced me to think through it more and was the only value in sportsmanship is that it is the warm and fuzzy way of doing sports or was there value beyond it? Does sportsmanship help develop life skills for kids as they transition into adulthood? Is there value in developing sportsmanship beyond it being a good thing to do?

As I thought about it, I realized that there is a deep utilitarian value in sportsmanship. Really, if you think about it, sportsmanship is developing your ability to interact with others well and influence them (social intelligence) as well as the ability to have empathy for others (emotional intelligence). Social and Emotional Intelligence are a huge factor to success in life in general but in many vocations they are even more important than IQ. Sportsmanship is developing the ability to regulate your emotions and control them versus letting them control you.

There are a lot of viewpoints out there and some flat out think that sportsmanship is showing weakness or develops weakness in a player. Others, like myself, may have embraced sportsmanship but never really considered it's true value.

I thought this was something worthy of more discussion and exploration.

 

[El Floppo]

sportsmanship is a luxury and that teaching kids to be resilient and growing through a perpetual state of being uncomfortable.

Sportsmanship and those two important things aren't mutually exclusive.

It's important to support kids to push beyond their comfort zones in all things... To be uncomfortable, make mistakes, to fail, to lose. Sports are easy to do physically for this, but the rest of their lives should be similar. This is an internal learning experience.

And sportsmanship should go hand in hand with all of it... it's how you treat the people and world around you, not how you approach your own internal life

 

[IvanKaramazov]

As I thought about it, I realized that there is a deep utilitarian value in sportsmanship. Really, if you think about it, sportsmanship is developing your ability to interact with others well and influence them (social intelligence) as well as the ability to have empathy for others (emotional intelligence). Social and Emotional Intelligence are a huge factor to success in life in general but in many vocations they are even more important than IQ. Sportsmanship is developing the ability to regulate your emotions and control them versus letting them control you.

I more or less agree with this. Sportsmanship is a good way of teaching kids about how adults are supposed to navigate society, by observing norms, playing fair, seeing others as honorable opponents, etc. It's a solid virtue that helps support a high-trust society.

Not a lot of demand for stuff like that these days. You and I are in the process of being replaced by the "sportsmanship is for weaklings" guy, if we haven't been already.

 

[Gally]

There are a lot of viewpoints out there and some flat out think that sportsmanship is showing weakness or develops weakness in a player. Others, like myself, may have embraced sportsmanship but never really considered it's true value.

I think your entire post is an interesting discussion to a point. But I wanted to focus on this statement here. I completely disagree with the thougth that "sportsmanship is showing weakness and develops weakness in a player" as a blatantly false statement. Empathy is not weakness. Sportsmanship is an empathetic action. Being a good "loser" and a good "winner" is sportsmanship and a sign of strength. It's easy to be upset and go hide when things don't go your way. That is weakness. It's also easy to rub it in and be a jerk when you win because heck you won. It takes strength to be humble and show empathy with your opponent that you just prevailed over.

This view of sportsmanship being a sign or developing weakness is asinine.

 

[Gally]

And sportsmanship should go hand in hand with all of it... it's how you treat the people and world around you, not how you approach your own internal life

This is a great statement....especially the bolded.

 

[Gally]

"sportsmanship is for weaklings" guy,

I just don't understand this perspective at all. As most of us have been expanding on.....sportsmanship is how you treat others/game/officials/etc with respect. It is actually harder (especially in losses) to show sportsmanship. It is anything but a sign a weakness. it's kind of the exact opposite of that to me.

 

[Joe Schmo]

Good timing on your question. Appears some in the NFL want to loosen up the rules of good sportsmanship because it's hard to define and delineate and because it's a part of the game.

NFL taunting needs to be celebrated, not penalized

‘Let the guys taunt’

www.sbnation.com

 

[Runkle]

"Sportsmanship" is also the unwritten rules. Like, in the rules of football, there's nothing stopping the 49ers from putting their least-used defensive player in on the first snap of the Super Bowl, like some rando second-stringer off the special teams unit, and have him rush Mahomes and try to break his hand, concuss him, or otherwise injure him intentionally to get him out of the game. Worst that happens is a 15 yard penalty on the first drive and he gets ejected. Seems like that's not a disincentive. It's not illegal enough, it's not even worse than some pass interference penalties in terms of what the Niners would give up. In return they get to play the Super Bowl against Blaine Gabbert at the cost of some guy who wasn't going to see the field anyway.

Technically, the only thing stopping them is Sportsmanship.

Yeah it's the same mindset that lawyers use when advising their client that they could technically do something they really shouldn't. I won't mention names in this forum, but I'd guess you could think of some people that would fit. I think a lot of the lack of civility we're seeing in other realms comes from this lack of sportsmanship-like respect for "the other team".

 

[El Floppo]

Good timing on your question. Appears some in the NFL want to loosen up the rules of good sportsmanship because it's hard to define and delineate and because it's a part of the game.

NFL taunting needs to be celebrated, not penalized

‘Let the guys taunt’

www.sbnation.com

I'm all for loosening the rules on celebrating your own accomplishment... let them go as goofy as they want.

But taunting an opponent? No gracias.

It shouldn't be any surprise based on how the media, entertainment and politics have gone in the past decade or two... But it saddens/sickens me that behaving well and respectfully is somehow a sign of weakness in anybody's eyes.

 

[Terminalxylem]

As I thought about it, I realized that there is a deep utilitarian value in sportsmanship. Really, if you think about it, sportsmanship is developing your ability to interact with others well and influence them (social intelligence) as well as the ability to have empathy for others (emotional intelligence). Social and Emotional Intelligence are a huge factor to success in life in general but in many vocations they are even more important than IQ. Sportsmanship is developing the ability to regulate your emotions and control them versus letting them control you.

I more or less agree with this. Sportsmanship is a good way of teaching kids about how adults are supposed to navigate society, by observing norms, playing fair, seeing others as honorable opponents, etc. It's a solid virtue that helps support a high-trust society.

Not a lot of demand for stuff like that these days. You and I are in the process of being replaced by the "sportsmanship is for weaklings" guy, if we haven't been already.

Agree with both of you, but particularly in the business world, the mindset in you second paragraph seems to apply. There‘s probably a reason CEOs are more likely to have psychopathic traits.

 

[Psychopav]

I am a big proponent of sportsmanship. I teach it to my kids, I demand it on the teams I coach and I do my best to live it out in my life. With my role as a coach, pretty much everything I do has a purpose behind it that I have thought through at some level. Through a discussion in a basketball coaches group on Facebook, I realized that my position for being a big proponent of sportsmanship was not really ever thought out... it was just 'the right thing to do'. The discussion, through someone who was pushing a narrative that essentially sportsmanship is a luxury and that teaching kids to be resilient and growing through a perpetual state of being uncomfortable. I was fine with what he was saying about instilling with the kids I coach that life isn't fair and that you need to focus on controlling what you can control, work to put yourself in the best position possible and don't give up through the hardships. It is a point of emphasis this year specifically for my 5th grade team but something I always try to develop with those I coach.

However, I didn't like how he devalued sportsmanship. It forced me to think through it more and was the only value in sportsmanship is that it is the warm and fuzzy way of doing sports or was there value beyond it? Does sportsmanship help develop life skills for kids as they transition into adulthood? Is there value in developing sportsmanship beyond it being a good thing to do?

As I thought about it, I realized that there is a deep utilitarian value in sportsmanship. Really, if you think about it, sportsmanship is developing your ability to interact with others well and influence them (social intelligence) as well as the ability to have empathy for others (emotional intelligence). Social and Emotional Intelligence are a huge factor to success in life in general but in many vocations they are even more important than IQ. Sportsmanship is developing the ability to regulate your emotions and control them versus letting them control you.

There are a lot of viewpoints out there and some flat out think that sportsmanship is showing weakness or develops weakness in a player. Others, like myself, may have embraced sportsmanship but never really considered it's true value.

I thought this was something worthy of more discussion and exploration.

I agree with you, and believe that resilliancy, grit, and sportsmanship are not mutually exclusive.

 

[Joe Schmo]

Good timing on your question. Appears some in the NFL want to loosen up the rules of good sportsmanship because it's hard to define and delineate and because it's a part of the game.

NFL taunting needs to be celebrated, not penalized

‘Let the guys taunt’

www.sbnation.com

I'm all for loosening the rules on celebrating your own accomplishment... let them go as goofy as they want.

But taunting an opponent? No gracias.

It shouldn't be any surprise based on how the media, entertainment and politics have gone in the past decade or two... But it saddens/sickens me that behaving well and respectfully is somehow a sign of weakness in anybody's eyes.

Yeah and it does trickle down to the youth level. I remember wadding up Big League chew before my at bats during my 10u season and one of my teammates always "adjusting" his cup while at the plate. Like there was anything to adjust. Coach told him stop it. But you can rest assured if the NFL loosens up these rules you will see ball spinning and hip gyrating over opponents a plenty at your local rec football games.

 

[Hot Diggity Dog]

Sportsmanship is a courtesy teams should give each other to recognize that the teams are only playing a game. If the playing of the game becomes too personal that is when real life consequences happen. Look at the Colorado Buffaloes football team this year. Travis Henry missed what three or four games during the middle of the season because the CSU safety had had enough of the disrespect and trash talking and took a shot at him when he couldn't really defend himself. And if you heard the trash talking and disrespect before the game it is hard to really blame the CSU safety. Also, Shedur Sanders talk a lot of **** and disrespected a lot of teams and it cost him at least one game at the end of the season. And probably some surgery too. Shedur took some ungodly late hits that really seemed "payback" for his running his mouth. Eventually you will find someone willing and able to give it back on you.

 

[ChiefD]

Win with class and lose with class.

If that's weak then I guess I'm weak.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

"Sportsmanship" is also the unwritten rules. Like, in the rules of football, there's nothing stopping the 49ers from putting their least-used defensive player in on the first snap of the Super Bowl, like some rando second-stringer off the special teams unit, and have him rush Mahomes and try to break his hand, concuss him, or otherwise injure him intentionally to get him out of the game. Worst that happens is a 15 yard penalty on the first drive and he gets ejected. Seems like that's not a disincentive. It's not illegal enough, it's not even worse than some pass interference penalties in terms of what the Niners would give up. In return they get to play the Super Bowl against Blaine Gabbert at the cost of some guy who wasn't going to see the field anyway.

Technically, the only thing stopping them is Sportsmanship.

Yeah it's the same mindset that lawyers use when advising their client that they could technically do something they really shouldn't. I won't mention names in this forum, but I'd guess you could think of some people that would fit. I think a lot of the lack of civility we're seeing in other realms comes from this lack of sportsmanship-like respect for "the other team".

Remember that ******* who coached his players to all-out blitz when the other team was trying to kneel out the clock? Great example of what you're talking about here. IIRC, his players eventually more or less refused to do this because it was so bush league.

 

[Chadstroma]

As I thought about it, I realized that there is a deep utilitarian value in sportsmanship. Really, if you think about it, sportsmanship is developing your ability to interact with others well and influence them (social intelligence) as well as the ability to have empathy for others (emotional intelligence). Social and Emotional Intelligence are a huge factor to success in life in general but in many vocations they are even more important than IQ. Sportsmanship is developing the ability to regulate your emotions and control them versus letting them control you.

I more or less agree with this. Sportsmanship is a good way of teaching kids about how adults are supposed to navigate society, by observing norms, playing fair, seeing others as honorable opponents, etc. It's a solid virtue that helps support a high-trust society.

Not a lot of demand for stuff like that these days. You and I are in the process of being replaced by the "sportsmanship is for weaklings" guy, if we haven't been already.

And I think we see the result in society at large.

 

[Ministry of Pain]

I don't always shake hands with everyone after my tennis matches
Sometimes I do but there's times I walk to my bag and maybe just say good game
If it's a couple of tight sets, 6-4 7-5 coulda gone either way, yeah I tend to walk up to the net and offer a hand shake or fist bump out of respect for a well played match

 

[Dickies]

There is a lot more to sportsmanship that just not being a poor loser and being a gracious winner. It's about being empathetic towards your teammates and your opponents, respecting the game and its rules, as well as those who are in positions of authority such as coaches and refs.

I would argue sportsmanship is the most important skill that kids learn from playing organized sports as it influences almost every avenue in adult life. When I'm coaching, winning or losing the game is basically the last thing on my mind.

 

[Ministry of Pain]

I wanted to follow up by saying that I am a very good sport "in-match"
Example...person is not ready to receive my serve, I'll just take a step back and bounce the ball to let them know I am ready
If a ball lands close to the line (i play clay courts), unless I have a clear mark I play the ball. I will override calls where I think initially the ball was out
I will apologize if I question a call and ask for a mark, sometimes that gets folks upset on the other side but on clay it should leave a mark of some kind.
I have no problem apologizing if I upset someone, the primary goal is exercise and keeping in shape for me, the score doesn't matter as much
I just want to play 2-3 times a week and be welcome on the courts.
I open a lot of cans of balls without being asked, that usually is very welcome on the tennis courts

 

[Jayrod]

As an official, I have a different viewpoint than most and I think the coaches are the key here.

It is really difficult to keep a game under control when the coach is the problem because the players and fans take their cues from the coach. Every now and then a wild player or fan will be crazy on their own, but by and large the jeers & complaining starts with the coach. Nothing makes me more angry than when I've given a player a warning or technical and the coach argues with me. If things have gotten to the point that I've addressed it with a player, the coach needs to back me and reprimand the player because a line has been crossed. Telling me I'm being too strict weakens respect for authority and the game and typically will end with another penalty for the player or coach. I've never had to eject anyone from a game in any sport, but I've had coaches just suck all enjoyment out of a game by being an ******* and not respecting me or the game. Never had a player or fan do that. I get it is their job and their livelihood (often unfairly) ebbs and flows with wins and losses, but making the officials your enemy will never end well.

Sportsmanship is taught/learned and NOT an innate thing. It shows maturity and character which will carry a person far beyond their ability to play sports. Failing to learn that lesson when young can have consequences down the road and likely could limit opportunities down the road. I believe college coaches see HS players that are poor sports as a potential discipline problem and will either downgrade a player or write them off all together if they see sings of poor sportsmanship during games.

 

[SWC]

I don't always shake hands with everyone after my tennis matches
Sometimes I do but there's times I walk to my bag and maybe just say good game
If it's a couple of tight sets, 6-4 7-5 coulda gone either way, yeah I tend to walk up to the net and offer a hand shake or fist bump out of respect for a well played match

this is about the least surprising thing ive ever read take that to the bank brohans

 

[rockaction]

Sportsmanship promotes values that allow people to interact with each other when the sporting madness of the day is done. People should never forget that sport is a reprieve from the daily necessity of survival but still can inculcate the practice of virtues necessary for cooperation and, as Ivan points out, trust in society. It is instructive to show, how in the heat of battle, that in and out-groups can deal with each other. Sport itself is a luxury. Preparing for those times when luxury is tested is what sport is good for, if we're talking about utility here, and sportsmanship is key to that.

 

[Gally]

There are a lot of viewpoints out there and some flat out think that sportsmanship is showing weakness or develops weakness in a player.

If there is someone that has this view, please clarify why you have this belief. I would really like to understand this perspective because I just cannot come up with any reason for it. Usually, I can at least see where the other side is coming from in a discussion but for this one, I am just completely baffled.

I really would like to understand the stance.

 

[FreeBaGeL]

In my elementary age city league hoops league, each team is given a card before the game. After the game, they give that card to the player on the other team that they showed the best sportsmanship.

Maybe I'm contributing to the wussification of society, but I like it.

I realize there is definitely some overlap between being successful at certain sports (especially certain positions) and being a jerkwad (diva wide receivers or taunting defensive backs), but I'm okay with my kiddos slightly lowering their chances of attaining that if it means they act like good people.

 

[Gally]

I realize there is definitely some overlap between being successful at certain sports (especially certain positions) and being a jerkwad (diva wide receivers or taunting defensive backs), but I'm okay with my kiddos slightly lowering their chances of attaining that if it means they act like good people.

So do you think that being a diva is a contributing factor to them being good or were they good and coaches let them get away with being a diva?

 

[Chadstroma]

As I thought about it, I realized that there is a deep utilitarian value in sportsmanship. Really, if you think about it, sportsmanship is developing your ability to interact with others well and influence them (social intelligence) as well as the ability to have empathy for others (emotional intelligence). Social and Emotional Intelligence are a huge factor to success in life in general but in many vocations they are even more important than IQ. Sportsmanship is developing the ability to regulate your emotions and control them versus letting them control you.

I more or less agree with this. Sportsmanship is a good way of teaching kids about how adults are supposed to navigate society, by observing norms, playing fair, seeing others as honorable opponents, etc. It's a solid virtue that helps support a high-trust society.

Not a lot of demand for stuff like that these days. You and I are in the process of being replaced by the "sportsmanship is for weaklings" guy, if we haven't been already.

It seems that the world is losing that. You see it in sports but also just in life...

I see a direct link from the kid with good sportsmanship that will help someone in need and the bad sportsmanship kid that will video someone who is in dire need of help with their phone.

 

[Chadstroma]

There are a lot of viewpoints out there and some flat out think that sportsmanship is showing weakness or develops weakness in a player. Others, like myself, may have embraced sportsmanship but never really considered it's true value.

I think your entire post is an interesting discussion to a point. But I wanted to focus on this statement here. I completely disagree with the thougth that "sportsmanship is showing weakness and develops weakness in a player" as a blatantly false statement. Empathy is not weakness. Sportsmanship is an empathetic action. Being a good "loser" and a good "winner" is sportsmanship and a sign of strength. It's easy to be upset and go hide when things don't go your way. That is weakness. It's also easy to rub it in and be a jerk when you win because heck you won. It takes strength to be humble and show empathy with your opponent that you just prevailed over.

This view of sportsmanship being a sign or developing weakness is asinine.

I absolutely agree. But the reality is that there are people who hold this view out there to varying degrees of vigor.

 

[Chadstroma]

Good timing on your question. Appears some in the NFL want to loosen up the rules of good sportsmanship because it's hard to define and delineate and because it's a part of the game.

NFL taunting needs to be celebrated, not penalized

‘Let the guys taunt’

www.sbnation.com

I'm all for loosening the rules on celebrating your own accomplishment... let them go as goofy as they want.

But taunting an opponent? No gracias.

It shouldn't be any surprise based on how the media, entertainment and politics have gone in the past decade or two... But it saddens/sickens me that behaving well and respectfully is somehow a sign of weakness in anybody's eyes.

The NFL should take it's role seriously it has in the lives of so many young people in how they should act at least on the field if not off it. Taunting may be more marketable but it is a degradation of the game and assists in the degradation of society.

 

[Chadstroma]

There are a lot of viewpoints out there and some flat out think that sportsmanship is showing weakness or develops weakness in a player.

If there is someone that has this view, please clarify why you have this belief. I would really like to understand this perspective because I just cannot come up with any reason for it. Usually, I can at least see where the other side is coming from in a discussion but for this one, I am just completely baffled.

I really would like to understand the stance.

I see it in discussions in some coaching groups I am in. It is the minority but there are some who basically have the opinion, to some degree, that they want to crush the enemy and life is hard, and the kids getting the bad end of it need to learn too. That type of mindset.

 

[Chadstroma]

In my elementary age city league hoops league, each team is given a card before the game. After the game, they give that card to the player on the other team that they showed the best sportsmanship.

Maybe I'm contributing to the wussification of society, but I like it.

I realize there is definitely some overlap between being successful at certain sports (especially certain positions) and being a jerkwad (diva wide receivers or taunting defensive backs), but I'm okay with my kiddos slightly lowering their chances of attaining that if it means they act like good people.

I kind of do my own version of this though it isn't always tied to the best sportsman. After the game and the 'good game handshakes' I will try to make an extra effort to encourage a player on the other team in some way. Usually it is a quick "Hey, nice shooting- keep it up" and sometimes a little more just depending on how things go.

 

[Doug B]

Remember that ******* who coached his players to all-out blitz when the other team was trying to kneel out the clock? Great example of what you're talking about here. IIRC, his players eventually more or less refused to do this because it was so bush league.

Yep -- former Rutgers and Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Greg Schiano. His Bucs defense blew up the last-play victory formation against the Giants in 2012.

 

[Gally]

I see it in discussions in some coaching groups I am in. It is the minority but there are some who basically have the opinion, to some degree, that they want to crush the enemy and life is hard, and the kids getting the bad end of it need to learn too. That type of mindset.

You can want to crush your enemy in a game and still show good sportsmanship. They are not mutually exclusive. I don't get how bad sportsmanship has anything at all to do with weakness. I would like someone that does think this to explain how it leads to weakness.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Sportsmanship is what losers focus on so they can still feel superior when I grab my sack after dunking on them.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Obviously i am kidding. I just wanted to be one of those guys for once in my life.

 

[Ministry of Pain]

I don't always shake hands with everyone after my tennis matches
Sometimes I do but there's times I walk to my bag and maybe just say good game
If it's a couple of tight sets, 6-4 7-5 coulda gone either way, yeah I tend to walk up to the net and offer a hand shake or fist bump out of respect for a well played match

this is about the least surprising thing ive ever read take that to the bank brohans

"Ever" is a mighty long time
We here at the Ministry love you

 

[SWC]

its spelled ministrone take that to the bank souphan

 

[stbugs]

Lots of great points and it’s sad that sportsmanship is losing out or at least it feels like it is. A kid that’s good enough to make it to the pros will and a kid that isn’t won’t. Being a dickwad won’t increase your chances and being a good person won’t decrease them. Unfortunately, this again is where social media is ruining normal respect for others. Way more if you disrespect me we have to fight (and worse) with way to many replies about how it should be that way/Internet tough guys.