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Good Father-Son Bonding Opps (1 Viewer)

T

The Dude

Footballguy
Technically, a young grandfather but no parents involved.

I am in my 50's and the grandson is 11.  He's like a lot of kids and spends time in youth sports and Fortnite.  

Looking for ideas - maybe it's hobbies - to bond or grow on a more personal level.  Any ideas from any of you dads out there?

 
I hear a game of catch is good.  Seriously anything that gets you time together.  Bowling, zoo, fishing, hiking, boardgames.  Find something you want to do and take him with and then have him suggest an activity.

 
If you want it to feel natural, then pick something you enjoy doing and see if he has any interest. It's easy to teach/share something you're passionate about.

Cooking, music, fishing,.... Anything. If there's nothing that fits the bill, then find something he might be interested in but has never tried or has no one to do it with. 

In the end, even something simple like taking in a movie at the theater or hitting an arcade would work. Just let it be unique and fun for both so that he'll think of it as Grandpa time.

 
Scouts?  Camping, hiking, being outdoors. After all the lawsuits they take youth protection very seriously. If you can find a good Troop your grandson will learn important life skills and make good real life friends.  

 
My grandfather was the one who taught me how to golf.  I used to love going golfing with him.  No one else in my family golfed, so it was sort of our thing together..  Although, to this day, I still suck at golf, so there is that...but I do still cherish the memories.

 
The Dude said:
Technically, a young grandfather but no parents involved.

I am in my 50's and the grandson is 11.  He's like a lot of kids and spends time in youth sports and Fortnite.  

Looking for ideas - maybe it's hobbies - to bond or grow on a more personal level.  Any ideas from any of you dads out there?
Click to expand...
Learn to play Fortnite (seriously, not that hard, I'm 55).

But one thing that me and the old man used to do a lot together is work. I think he was part beaver because he loved to cut wood. He was old (60's or so) when I was in my teens (woops) so he had a ready made work horse. He'd drop 3-4-5 trees in a day and we'd spend time cutting it up, clearing brush, loading trucks & then unloading when we got home. You start at 8am and finish when the sun goes down. Good way to bond working your ### off together :thumbup: Also instills a little work ethic into this ####s of today.

Other thing we did a lot was fish. Get up stupid early, go slay them until about 8-9am and then get on with your day.

 
Galileo said:
My grandfather was the one who taught me how to golf.  I used to love going golfing with him.  No one else in my family golfed, so it was sort of our thing together..  Although, to this day, I still suck at golf, so there is that...but I do still cherish the memories.
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My dad is who I send my 14 year old for golf.  He relishes in it and is a good teacher.  Great bonding for both of them.  Usually takes him out to lunch too.  There is no shortage of ways I've disappointed my dad; not being even remotely close to decent at golf has to be up there.  I suck out loud.  I do like it, but I need lessons bigly.

 
The Dude said:
Technically, a young grandfather but no parents involved.

I am in my 50's and the grandson is 11.  He's like a lot of kids and spends time in youth sports and Fortnite.  

Looking for ideas - maybe it's hobbies - to bond or grow on a more personal level.  Any ideas from any of you dads out there?
Click to expand...
Tell you what, I think taking him to a ballgame would be pretty special.  Especially if you have to travel a little ways by car.  Nothing like trapping in a vehicle together with you for an hour or more. ;)

Taking my sons down the Ducks games is some of the best bonding time we get together.  Couple hours in the car down, sometimes get a hotel down there, drive on back the next day.  Good times.  

 
My kids are in the golf club at school. The older one (11) had golf practice at the range every Wed at 6:30 for a few weeks. The younger (9) had practice at the same range at the same time for a few weeks starting the week the older one's practice ended. I took both to all the practices and just bought the other a bag of balls. Now that practice is over for both, we are heading up there every wednesday when we can to hot balls and do the putting green. It's been good for us. Even the younger one, just turned six is grabbing a club from the range and hitting some balls. 

 
My dad's dad and I used to regularly take produce to sell at the market and would stop for ice cream on the way back. I always got a kick out of that. My mom's dad and I would make a big deal of deer season; we'd go pick a spot, build a blind, all that good stuff. It was more fun than the actual activity of hunting deer. I'm fortunate that they're both still alive.

As for dad, there was the grill, hunting, golf and baseball. His favorite movies. Idk about those saying work. I used to have to run the weed eater while we mowed lawns and while I DEFINITELY don't resent him for it, I don't exactly look back at those times all that fondly.

 
The Dude said:
Technically, a young grandfather but no parents involved.

I am in my 50's and the grandson is 11.  He's like a lot of kids and spends time in youth sports and Fortnite.  

Looking for ideas - maybe it's hobbies - to bond or grow on a more personal level.  Any ideas from any of you dads out there?
Click to expand...
you're in your 50's with an 11 yr old grandson ...what are you - a family of rabbits?  

 
  • Laughing
Reactions: Ned
Binky The Doormat said:
you're in your 50's with an 11 yr old grandson ...what are you - a family of rabbits?  
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Probably oldest of the oldest if I had to guess. Have a kid when you're 20, they have a kid when they're 20, voila.

This is me btw, oldest of the oldest of the oldest. My great-grandmother was 89 when she passed away. I was 21.

 
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Thanks - some good feedback in here.  I am going to have to think some of these over.

Shocked nobody threw out the strip club as an idea.

 
My son and I hit one new NHL arena every year for a game. He is only 9, but we have been to Philly, NY, NJ, Long Island, Chicago, Vegas, LA, Toronto (world cup) and Vancouver (no ice, went in Aug, will need to go back)

He gets a jersey at every stadium. He never wears them, but I figure we will hold on to them. We can frame them for him or he can give them to his kids. 

He seems to love it. Maybe you can go to some MLB ballparks this summer if he likes baseball 

 
The Dude said:
Technically, a young grandfather but no parents involved.

I am in my 50's and the grandson is 11.  He's like a lot of kids and spends time in youth sports and Fortnite.  

Looking for ideas - maybe it's hobbies - to bond or grow on a more personal level.  Any ideas from any of you dads out there?
Click to expand...
Wow..I know men in their 50s who have kids who are 11

 
The Dude said:
Technically, a young grandfather but no parents involved.

I am in my 50's and the grandson is 11.  He's like a lot of kids and spends time in youth sports and Fortnite.  

Looking for ideas - maybe it's hobbies - to bond or grow on a more personal level.  Any ideas from any of you dads out there?
Click to expand...
My kid and I bond over baseball. We both love it.

My nephew is a big Fortnite player and loves when people watch him play, so that might be an avenue.

 
General Malaise said:
My dad is who I send my 14 year old for golf.  He relishes in it and is a good teacher.  Great bonding for both of them.  Usually takes him out to lunch too.  There is no shortage of ways I've disappointed my dad; not being even remotely close to decent at golf has to be up there.  I suck out loud.  I do like it, but I need lessons bigly.
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Hey you gave him a grandson to bond with.  And the lessons are probably better now that he's worked out the kinks of version 1.0.

 
General Malaise said:
Tell you what, I think taking him to a ballgame would be pretty special.  Especially if you have to travel a little ways by car.  Nothing like trapping in a vehicle together with you for an hour or more. ;)

Taking my sons down the Ducks games is some of the best bonding time we get together.  Couple hours in the car down, sometimes get a hotel down there, drive on back the next day.  Good times.  
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This. Oldest son was in travel soccer. We spent a lot of time together in cars and hotels. Talking music and making jokes.

 
beer 30 said:
Learn to play Fortnite (seriously, not that hard, I'm 55).

But one thing that me and the old man used to do a lot together is work. I think he was part beaver because he loved to cut wood. He was old (60's or so) when I was in my teens (woops) so he had a ready made work horse. He'd drop 3-4-5 trees in a day and we'd spend time cutting it up, clearing brush, loading trucks & then unloading when we got home. You start at 8am and finish when the sun goes down. Good way to bond working your ### off together :thumbup: Also instills a little work ethic into this ####s of today.

Other thing we did a lot was fish. Get up stupid early, go slay them until about 8-9am and then get on with your day.
Click to expand...
This is a great post.  My son is 21 and it seems the longest spans of time we've spent chatting and bonding is while washing and/or working on our cars.  I have no idea why, but I love washing cars and my son has taken the detailing to a whole new level.  No chance of his face (or mine for that matter) in a phone when doing this.  For kicks, I picked up a Frisbee Golf set for me.  He wanted to give it a whirl and we've enjoyed time together doing this as well (helps that there is a micro-brewery close where dad can buy some after beers).

 
If it helps, best bonding moments have involved a trip somewhere - even a short trip of a couple hour car ride. We had the best talks and made the best memories. We have stupid little inside jokes from them that we still laugh about.  We used to travel for his sports when he was younger ( he is about to graduate HS now) and often it was just he and I. Would not trade those weekends for anything.  Now we travel a lot less often but because we are both sports junkies, going to check out a new stadium we haven't been to yet, or to see a particular player - even if it is Wander Franco ( minor league baseball player) 15 minutes from home, the idea remains the same!  Good Luck!

 
Taking my daughter to the Portland Thorns (womens soccer) home opener tomorrow. Walking to the train station and taking the light rail right to the game, which she will think is cool.  Stadium got a huge remodel so looking forward to seeing it, but more importantly, can't wait to spend the day with my little girl.  I even got us matching Thorns shirts. :bag:

 
gianmarco said:
If you want it to feel natural, then pick something you enjoy doing and see if he has any interest. It's easy to teach/share something you're passionate about.
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Love the suggestion of sharing your passion, then not forcing it if they don't have the same affinity. To that end, I  think sometimes it's easier to start from what THEY are interested/passionate about. 

beer 30 said:
But one thing that me and the old man used to do a lot together is work...Good way to bond working your ### off together :thumbup: Also instills a little work ethic into this ####s of today.
Click to expand...


sublimeone said:
Do you spend a lot of time together on a day to day basis? Will he join you on errands and help around the house?
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These suggestions resonated with me as well -- chores or whatever around the house have to get done, and two pairs of hands makes the work quicker, easier, and potentially more fun (chance to gamify it, for example), showing teamwork and that you are willing to help them and given them some feeling of ownership and responsibility.

 
General Malaise said:
Taking my daughter to the Portland Thorns (womens soccer) home opener tomorrow. Walking to the train station and taking the light rail right to the game, which she will think is cool.  Stadium got a huge remodel so looking forward to seeing it, but more importantly, can't wait to spend the day with my little girl.  I even got us matching Thorns shirts. :bag:
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@Thorn

 
Grilling and building building stuff always good.

You might also try shooting some stuff. You already know he likes to pretend shoot stuff, and he's about that age where young boys start to learn how to handle a firearm from the adult men in their life. 

Blasting clay pigeons out of the sky is always a good time, and for a lot of men, some of their best childhood memories involve shooting stuff with their dad and the gun their dad got them as a young'en. 

But yeah, as others have said, anything you are passionate about that he could have some interest in is the way to go.

 
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The Dude said:
Technically, a young grandfather but no parents involved.

I am in my 50's and the grandson is 11.  He's like a lot of kids and spends time in youth sports and Fortnite.  

Looking for ideas - maybe it's hobbies - to bond or grow on a more personal level.  Any ideas from any of you dads out there?
Click to expand...
1) you may not like it, but doing stuff he likes will be appreciated.

2) expand his horizons by doing things he hasn't done before.  Take him camping, start a fire, fish, etc.  Take him to a sports event.

3) kids are pretty forgiveable as long as you try.  If you spend time with them they will be content playing fort with cardboard boxes 

 
I have very few fond memories of my dad (like 3):

- Fishing- We would have moon pies, and Dr. Pepper (he'd have beer). The first few times, whenever he would crack his first beer, he'd immediately get a hit and immediately spill the beer. This ultimately morphed into just pouring a beer into the lake right when we got there to satisfy the fish gods.

- The one time we played catch

- "Helping" him fix his car one time

I vote fishing.

 
Some things I’ve done lately with my son to get him out and do some bonding:

- Short trip an hour away to hike a national park together. Bonus points for him getting outside and feeling accomplished for summitting the rock/hill. 

- Try something new I haven’t ever done along with him for the first time. He gets a kick out of me not being an expert so I show some humility, but he also gets to see my passion for learning. 

 
I'm taking my son to fish for Atlantic Salmon in July.  Last week, we took an afternoon to teach him how to fly fish.  We have stories about him catching a 250lb marlin and a bone fish.  Good times.  My dad took me fishing when I was in high school and it stands out as a great memory.

 
Getting involved in my kids sports was a big one for me.  Coaching, helping with logistics, practicing in the back yard, taking them to games, cheering them on, taking them out for food after.  Once that ended, they started doing their own thing, but we still hike/ski/mountain bike together when we can find the time.  Exploring the outdoors is the most rewarding activity I can think of.   

My father was a big sailor and taught me to sail.  We also built model boats and sailed them in ponds.  As I got older, we learned to windsurf together.  Flying acrobatic kites (big wind theme) was also a big father/son activity for us.  He died when he was 54 and I was 22, so cherish the time you have together.   

 
The Dude said:
Technically, a young grandfather but no parents involved.

I am in my 50's and the grandson is 11.  He's like a lot of kids and spends time in youth sports and Fortnite.  

Looking for ideas - maybe it's hobbies - to bond or grow on a more personal level.  Any ideas from any of you dads out there?
Click to expand...
Hike the Inca trail for five days to Machu Picchu. Or ride a motorcycle in Vietnam for a week. Seriously, though, nothing beats an adventure to create whole life memories and forge a special bond. Travel, especially if there is an element of uncertainty, fills the billet. I don't know where you live, but if you are mid-Atlantic/northeast, hit the Appalachian Trail and climb a few summits.

The most important thing is ALWAYS be a man of your word. If you talk about something, follow through. Always be there for them. 100%, no exceptions. That's why showing up is 80% of life. If they know you always have their back, that means more to a junior high kid than where you are or what you doing. Every kid needs at least one person always thinks the best of them, always gives them the benefit of the doubt, listens to them instead of just talking at them, that one person who celebrates their life and champions everything they do. Having a positive impact on a young person is the best thing you'll ever do.

 
General Malaise said:
Taking my daughter to the Portland Thorns (womens soccer) home opener tomorrow. Walking to the train station and taking the light rail right to the game, which she will think is cool.  Stadium got a huge remodel so looking forward to seeing it, but more importantly, can't wait to spend the day with my little girl.  I even got us matching Thorns shirts. :bag:
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Over 19,000 in attendance to watch the Thorns (new team record) on a glorious sunny day.  One of the better fatherly outings of my life.  My little girl had a blast.  Course I kept a steady stream of sugar and salt coming her way, but regardless, what a day!  3-0 Thorns romped Chicago. 

$14 tickets....would have paid $140 for that experience again. 

 
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