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General Malaise

Sent to the Principal's Office: How Many Times & Why?

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Funny how memories are conjured up.  I recently ditched contact lenses and have been wearing glasses full time.  But I can't read up close with them, so on/off/on/off they go as I toggle between activities.  I need bifocals but I digress.  That simple act of taking them off reminded me of the following:

7th grade and I'm in Mrs. Newman's math class.  She was a real ballbuster and between trying to teach a room full of hormone infested adolescents and keeping the peace, she would lose her temper and get angry.  When she did, she would always remove her glasses first.  So, being the bold bromigo that I am, I raised my hand.  After she was done yelling at us she paused, looked at me and said "Yes, GM?".  

"Mrs. Newman, why do you always remove your glasses when you get angry?".  *BOOM* Outta here.  One way ticket to the Vice Principal's office.  Not my first, nor my last visit there over my years.  I was a bit of a class clown and enjoyed getting under certain teacher's skin.  I got sent once for wearing a tie with a lady in a bikini on the flip side for 8th grade graduation day (or whatever) thanks to one of my buddies ratting me out.  I got sent for coughing - COUGHING - by Mr. Smith, who sent me numerous times for various infractions.  I got busted in 8th grade for leaving at lunch to get a sub sandwich an the delicious NY Subway, which was a short walk from the middle school.  When I returned, the Vice Principal was on the freaking roof with a camera.  He said "GM, SMILE!  You're on candid camera" and told me to meet him in the office.  I got paddled for that one.

I grew out of it in HS, mostly, but got into an argument with Mrs. Warburten in 12th grade and neither one of us were backing down.  It got heated and she finally sent me off.  

Anyhow, how many John Benders we got up in here?  
 

Edited by General Malaise
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5th grade for swearing - a bunch of girls ratted me out - I just got chewed out by our female principal, she threatened to tell my folks, etc., I'm sure I cried my eyes out because 5th grader.  I will just say this, we had some friends that lived down the street from us, their Dad was a truck driver.  We were fluent in the fine art of properly and effectively swearing by 3rd or 4th grade, so, guilty as charged but lesson learned, all girls are evil! :)

9th grade in HS for "skipping a class" which was a big nothing burger.  I had gotten sick on a test day and missed an Algebra I test.  The math teacher had said "when do you have study hall?"  6th period.  "Okay, so come down to the room at 6th period, it will be empty, you can take your exam then" which I did.  I told my idiot study hall teacher where I was going, pos still turned me into the truancy officer who sent me off to the vice principal's office, thanks pal!  When I got there and explained myself he simply said "no problem, go get a signed note for me and bring it back."  Done deal.  I was kind of crapping myself b/c that guy was huge, I walk into his office, he's got his feet up on the desk right beside a large drilled out, heavily varnished, wooden paddle, reading glasses halfway down his nose. pretty intimidating looking.

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first grade..  tripped a kid walking in the aisle..  we then proceeded to start pummeling eachother..  

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Once ever. 12th grade. Got in a fight. Dude came up behind me and hit me in the back of the head. Only time in my life I went berserk. 
 

Four people pulled me off the dude. Adrenaline shakes for an hour. 
 

The dude was an ###### from forever, got suspended for 2 weeks. My only time ever, bounced for that day. 

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4 minutes ago, Sullie said:

5th grade for swearing - a bunch of girls ratted me out - I just got chewed out by our female principal, she threatened to tell my folks, etc., I'm sure I cried my eyes out because 5th grader.  I will just say this, we had some friends that lived down the street from us, their Dad was a truck driver.  We were fluent in the fine art of properly and effectively swearing by 3rd or 4th grade, so, guilty as charged but lesson learned, all girls are evil! :)

9th grade in HS for "skipping a class" which was a big nothing burger.  I had gotten sick on a test day and missed an Algebra I test.  The math teacher had said "when do you have study hall?"  6th period.  "Okay, so come down to the room at 6th period, it will be empty, you can take your exam then" which I did.  I told my idiot study hall teacher where I was going, pos still turned me into the truancy officer who sent me off to the vice principal's office, thanks pal!  When I got there and explained myself he simply said "no problem, go get a signed note for me and bring it back."  Done deal.  I was kind of crapping myself b/c that guy was huge, I walk into his office, he's got his feet up on the desk right beside a large drilled out, heavily varnished, wooden paddle, reading glasses halfway down his nose. pretty intimidating looking.

I wonder when they quit paddling?  I don't think they can anymore, but in the 80s, I got hit at least a half-dozen times.  It HURT!

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Just now, General Malaise said:

I wonder when they quit paddling?  I don't think they can anymore, but in the 80s, I got hit at least a half-dozen times.  It HURT!

Side note:  How F'n creepy were middle school gym teachers?  From paddling us to watching us shower under the guise of 'handing out towels'.  eeeeeeeesh......

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In Jr High our Vice Principal handled all of the discipline.

was suspended for fighting twice

had a visit another time because me and a few guys were slapping girls asses before class.  They seemed to be enjoying it but one of the girls sat down and said her butt hurt and our grumpy old lady teacher questioned her and she ratted us out.  Got hauled into office (I believe girls were there as well, it was damn near 30 years ago so a little fuzzy) but basically our VP told us if we ever did anything like that again he’d bring the girls fathers in and we could explain to them what we were doing

the best though was in home ec (cooking and sewing).  Despite getting good grades I hung out with a lot of the bad kids and did bad kid things.  Our group was banned from cooking the first few times but later my teacher realized I actually did the class work and despite hanging out with screwups I wasn’t a screwup, so often times I’d get to go cook with a group of girls or something while my cohorts say on the sidelines banned for some activity or another 

sure enough they got banned from cookie day.  IIRC correctly we made cookie dough a day in advance and baked them the next day.  Since they weren’t allowed to cook they decided to steal someone else’s raw cookie dough and eat it after school.  I was certainly down for some dough so I helped facilitate things, and sure enough someone else’s cookie dough disappeared.  (For some reason I missed out on eating it :kicksrock:).  Anyway, the next day teacher sees it’s gone, our group is the immediate suspect and sent to the office for questioning, but I got to stay back and eat cookies.  I was then later called down independently questioned about who took it, but Lambskin ain’t no rat, so that mystery went unsolved 

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I know there were some times in elementary and high school but nothing I can recall specifically 

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Middle school was 6th and 7th grade, that is when I learned what "insubordination" meant.   :bag: 

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Twice:

7th grade:  Sent to principal's office for fighting.  Two guys bigger than me had been hassling me for a couple weeks and I decided I had enough.  They obviously got the better of me but I did it in the cafeteria with lots of people so it didn't last long.   All three of us got in trouble but they didn't bother me again so it was a win.

 

12th grade: Last day of school.  A buddy of mine was cleaning out his locker and for some reason had a rubber chicken.  I decided it would be a good idea to open the door of a math teacher  we called turkey cause of his massive gobbler (adams apple), throw it in and yell "TURKEY!".  Unfortunately a principal was walking down the hall when I turned to run.   He sent me to the office and told me to wait there for him.  I waited over an hour and he never showed so I left.  Nothing ever came of it, he handed me my diploma on graduation day without incident.

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Twice. The first time I was in 5th or 6th grade and a friend got a whole bunch of firecrackers. We decided it would be funny to put them under a teachers desk. We made a long wick so we could light it, leave the room and nobody would know it was us. My friend lit it but the wick burned within seconds and the fireworks went off with him just a few feet away holding the matches. He ratted us out and four of us got suspended. We got a visit from a cop too but it was just to scare us.

In high school I organized a "cannonball run" from Tulsa to Kansas City. This was even before the movie came out. People paid 5 bucks to enter, winner take all. My mistake was I scheduled the race for a Friday and half the school didn't show up that day which raised suspicion. One guy's car broke down outside of KC. He had to explain to his parents where the heck he was going and again I was ratted out. There was a winner though and he was paid.

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8 minutes ago, Godsbrother said:

12th grade: Last day of school.  A buddy of mine was cleaning out his locker and for some reason had a rubber chicken.  I decided it would be a good idea to open the door of a math teacher  we called turkey cause of his massive gobbler (adams apple), throw it in and yell "TURKEY!".  Unfortunately a principal was walking down the hall when I turned to run.   He sent me to the office and told me to wait there for him.  I waited over an hour and he never showed so I left.  Nothing ever came of it, he handed me my diploma on graduation day without incident.

I also had to go to the principal's office on my last day of my senior year.  My punishment:  I had to call my father at work and tell him why I was being sent home.  My crime: playing with a yo-yo in 1st period English class.

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26 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

Side note:  How F'n creepy were middle school gym teachers?  From paddling us to watching us shower under the guise of 'handing out towels'.  eeeeeeeesh......

I didn't have this experience but I did just have a side thought about our HS gym teacher.  He wasn't creepy, he was just a complete and utter jerk.  He used to run around in track suits, I'm pretty sure he thought he was all that.  Anyway, I remember one of the track suits was all black and another one was all red.  So, when I was in HS (it was kind of a rough HS at that time) but anyway you were allowed to eat "off campus" which for us was a pizza shop about a 10 minute walk from HS.  

A lot of us would walk down to the pizza place and get a meatball sub sandwich and a coke for a $1.50.  Anyway, the HS gym teacher would walk in and the Seniors would say "hey Knight Rider" if he was wearing the black or "hey Big Red" if he was wearing the red.  He didn't respond but you could just tell it pissed him off, holy crap was it f-ing hilarious and no-one deserved to get it more than this guy.  His brother taught a class and he would sometimes say "my brother is the gym teacher, you know, the jerk that runs around the school in his pajamas."  :)

Edited by Sullie

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8 minutes ago, Willie Neslon said:

Twice. The first time I was in 5th or 6th grade and a friend got a whole bunch of firecrackers. We decided it would be funny to put them under a teachers desk. We made a long wick so we could light it, leave the room and nobody would know it was us. My friend lit it but the wick burned within seconds and the fireworks went off with him just a few feet away holding the matches. He ratted us out and four of us got suspended. We got a visit from a cop too but it was just to scare us.

In high school I organized a "cannonball run" from Tulsa to Kansas City. This was even before the movie came out. People paid 5 bucks to enter, winner take all. My mistake was I scheduled the race for a Friday and half the school didn't show up that day which raised suspicion. One guy's car broke down outside of KC. He had to explain to his parents where the heck he was going and again I was ratted out. There was a winner though and he was paid.

Leader in the clubhouse.....

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A better question would be when was I not in the principal's office. Probably why I have never sent a kid there in 20 years of teaching

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many times.

worst/best one?  our girls softball team, was one of the best in the state.  we, the football team, supported them vociferously!  we were very rowdy, totally out of contol in the stands.  playoff game against out number one rival.  ump actually stopped the game and warned us.  any more and you're all gone and i'm adding an out your team on their next at bat.  we calm down, sort of.  extra innings, we win!

as their team leaves, i give a full frontal flash to the team bus, with much bobbling of the junk, balls included.  vice principle was right behind me.  she just looked me in disbelief, and asked, "did you just do what i think you did?"  got suspended for that one  :D 

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went to Catholic school so... too many times to count.

best was probably when i finished reading The Omen in.... i want to say 4th grade???  and gave it to a friend of mine. he got caught reading it during music class. then he promptly ratted me out for giving it to him.

i've never seen someone turn purple with rage until we got to the head nun's office. the riot act i had not been read in that way before. not by a woman. especially not by a nun.  she was well past furious.

 

#2 a friend of mine got sucker punched in the hallway outside the church doors. he and i started chasing the kid what did the punching. in the process my friend knocked over a 3 ft tall.... very, very old statue of Mary.  shattered in to a billion pieces.  i thought the priests and nuns might actually kill us for that one. like dead killed.

 

those are the most memorable anyways. 

eta: oh and i was fond of the time in HS when one of the girls in my junior class left her car parked out back of school, unlocked. it was a stick so we put it in neutral and pushed the thing for .... a while... back out of sight.  she panicked thinking someone stole it until my friend cracked and told her what happened. that got me detentions for forever.

Edited by mr. furley
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Stayed in the principal's office.  elementary through high school.  Knucklehead and had a problem with authority.  

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Once, in grade school, and I don't even remember why.  All I remember is I wasn't doing what they said I was doing (in conjunction with another kid).  Simple misunderstanding, but I had to go and sit in the principal's office and listen to a speech for 5-10 minutes then went back to class.  Meh.  I was a good kid.  

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Once.

Fifth grade. Our classrooms had water fountains in them. I remember that year we started unscrewing the tips off our pens, putting the tip on the water fountain, and turning on the water. It would make the water shoot out through the hole pretty far. One time, I took off the tip, put it on the water fountain, and turned it on. It sprayed watery ink all over the wallpaper (why did we have wallpaper?). I guess there was some ink in the tip. It made a pretty big spot on the wallpaper.

The teacher sent me to the principal's office. She also told me how expensive the wallpaper was and how my parents were going to have to pay for it. Whatever the $ amount she said, it seemed like a lot at the time. That scared me. I walked out of the room heading towards the principal's office. As I was walking, I realized it was just me. The teacher wasn't with me. No adult was with me. Another student wasn't sent with me. So I just walked around the halls for a while and then went back to class. I remember the teacher asking me if I went to the principal's office and I said yes.

Nothing else ever came of it. It was kind of weird. Comparing that to the elementary school my kids went to, they couldn't have gotten away with that. They always have to walk with buddies. A single child wandering the halls would be noticed immediately and an adult would find out what's going on. Thinking back on it now, I wonder how long I wandered the halls? Maybe I was back in the classroom in 5 minutes and my teacher probably silently called BS on me but just didn't' care.

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Once. Skipped school one day the last week or two of Sophomore year of HS. Vice Principal called me in and and while I dodged a Saturday detention for the  infraction, I had to sit in the main office as my punishment for the rest of the day. I left after 10 minutes. Rip the system! 
 

ETA: Full disclosure: I got away with 90-95% of the #### I did in grades 1-12 and consider myself very lucky to be alive.

Edited by Osaurus

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3 minutes ago, Osaurus said:

Once. Skipped school one day the last week or two of Sophomore year of HS. Vice Principal called me in and and while I dodged a Saturday detention for the  infraction, I had to sit in the main office as my punishment for the rest of the day. I left after 10 minutes. Rip the system! 

Hmm, in HS, I went off campus for lunch with some friends several times and we were caught once. I don't think we were sent to the principal, though. The security/whatever guy that caught us probably just wrote us up and gave us detention. Don't really remember what steps were taken, but I definitely had detention; had to stay after school for a couple hours.

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4 minutes ago, dgreen said:

Hmm, in HS, I went off campus for lunch with some friends several times and we were caught once. I don't think we were sent to the principal, though. The security/whatever guy that caught us probably just wrote us up and gave us detention. Don't really remember what steps were taken, but I definitely had detention; had to stay after school for a couple hours.

So glad my HS was an "open campus" once you got to be a junior.  Some of my best memories are going to lunch with buddies during HS.  I still go to some of the joints we went to.

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Does college count?  This was a winter morning during the mid-70s streaking craze at my conservative Christian college (Calvin).  A friend and I streaked after a morning gym class (multiple doors to the college gymnasium, and our clothes safely locked in lockers).  It was during the morning break between classes that was reserved for a chapel service except on Monday, which is when we ran.  We did a rather big loop around the heart of campus and back wearing just winter hats, scarves pinned to the hats to hide our faces, and gym shoes.  

Word got around, though, and the next day the Dean called me to his office.  He and I knew each other quite well from my student government role, so he took it in stride, but he said the President wanted to see me.  That meeting did not go well.  When I walked in, the first thing the President said was an angry "glad to see you've got your pants on."  It went downhill from there.  At one point, I apologized for offending him, and he glared at me and said something like "I'd hope you would be sorry about what you've done, not just whether it bothered me."  I tried to backtrack, but it was just a mess.  The next day, he met with my parents, too.  But that was the end of it ...no suspension or expulsion.

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I was kind of lame... only time I remember going into the principal's office is when I was fourth grade coming in off the bus in 30 degree weather in the winter wearing a cotton NY Giants hat with one of those fuzzy puff balls on top. Principal was standing in the doorway taking hats off the heads of kids who were wearing hats as they entered the building (I guess some strict enforcement of a "no hats inside the building" rule). I had to go the principal's office later to claim my hat.

Same principal also once yelled at me as I was sitting down in a seat in the lunch room setting down my brown bag PB&J lunch, to "Get a napkin and clean it up!" I gave him a confused look, and he said "The cheese from the pizza next to you, get a napkin and clean it up! I know kids like you, you were going to fling it."  I then noticed there some cheese from that Elio's type pizza they serve that some kid from the previous lunch must have not cleaned up, that I guess the principal was waiting to pounce on somebody for.

So, yeah, that principal was a jerk.

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Once I can recall.

Junior year in HS for a fight.  Wasn’t much of a fight as it was a single punch (I punched the kid).

It was right after I went back to school after my father passed away.  Didn’t realize it but I was a powder keg waiting to be set off.  It was small engine repair class.  Went to sit on the chair to start class and the kid pulled it out from under me.  I got up and punched him in the face. One shot and we were separated.  His eye was red and swollen but I think he was more surprised at my reaction than the punch.

After my personal circumstance was taken under consideration by the principal, I believe I got suspended for 1 day.  Not my best moment, but I can’t lie, the release of the pent up anger felt good.

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2 hours ago, Parrothead said:

first grade..  tripped a kid walking in the aisle..  we then proceeded to start pummeling eachother..  

I hope you know this will go on your permanent record.

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I went to Catholic schools.  I got sent down to the office in second grade because I threw a paper airplane the hit the nun teacher. The nun walked over to me and pulled me by my hair out the door and sent me down.   The school was K-8. While sitting in the principals office  an 8th grade boy was also in there and I sat in the chair next to him, to me he looked like a grown man. 

The principal who was also a nun walks in and says to the 8th grade boy it is time for your medicine.  I am thinking he is ill..she then takes out a paddle, makes him turn around and beats the crap out of him right in front of me. The kid is screaming and crying as he leaves the office, she then turns to me and says if you ever get sent down here again that will be your medicine.  I never forget that and was never sent down again.

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11 minutes ago, Da Guru said:

I went to Catholic schools.  I got sent down to the office in second grade because I threw a paper airplane the hit the nun teacher. The nun walked over to me and pulled me by my hair out the door and sent me down.   The school was K-8. While sitting in the principals office  an 8th grade boy was also in there and I sat in the chair next to him, to me he looked like a grown man. 

The principal who was also a nun walks in and says to the 8th grade boy it is time for your medicine.  I am thinking he is ill..she then takes out a paddle, makes him turn around and beats the crap out of him right in front of me. The kid is screaming and crying as he leaves the office, she then turns to me and says if you ever get sent down here again that will be your medicine.  I never forget that and was never sent down again.

Damn nuns were some nasty teachers.  Best year of my life was when my parents transferred me to a public school.  And all I ever got from the penguins was the occasional ruler rap on the knuckles for talking to kids next to me.

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6th grade. Friday about to get on the buses end of the day, and a kid named Billy and I got egged on into a fight by everyone else. A couple of punches and then the buses were starting to close their doors and so we both had to run or else miss them.

Monday called into principle's office. He and I are sitting there talking and joking when she comes out to get us. We go in and sit down. She looks at us expectantly and we stare back at her clueless. She asks if we had a fight on Friday. We both had completely forgot it over the weekend and get puzzled looks.  Look at each other quizzically for a few seconds and then remember it. "Oh yeah, by the buses!" "Oh yeah, it was dumb, shouldn't have happened."

Principle just kind of looked back and forth from one of us to the other with a dumbfounded look. "Ok then. Go back to class."

 

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My best was in 9th grade.  Art class.  The teacher brought in a bunch of various sticks and flowers for us to draw.  Somebody asked the teacher where she got all of these flowers and sticks.  The teacher responded that she has a big backyard and has a lot of flowers and trees.  I responded with a question of my own, "Do you have a bush?" 

Was so, so worth it as I was the hero of 9th grade art class that day.  

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2nd Grade.  I loved to read and didn't feel like going outside for recess so I hid out under the piano and read. Got suspended for two days for reading.  I hated school after that.

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21 minutes ago, Leroy Hoard said:

Damn nuns were some nasty teachers.  Best year of my life was when my parents transferred me to a public school.  And all I ever got from the penguins was the occasional ruler rap on the knuckles for talking to kids next to me.

 

The priest would come into our classrooms every report card making and read everyone's grade out loud to the whole class.   I got a C in conduct once and he grabbed me by the ear and said this better be an A or B next marking.

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Wish I'd gotten sent to the Principals office.

Got paddled once in each grade 3rd - 6th.  Out in the hall, turn around, grab the ankles, WHAP.  No clue what for.

Edited by Dinsy Ejotuz

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Went to catholic school all through college. Aside from a streak in grade school where I just simply talked to others too much during class I was always well-behaved and don't remember going to the principal's office (I do recall getting a "detention" or too but I think that was more for not turning something in or something). 

Only time I ever got sent to the principal's office (in this case our VP was our disciplinarian and handled most day to day matters where the principal was more of a figurehead) was senior year of high school. I was a typically teenager who, after getting my license, basically lived out of my car and took care of myself. Naturally, I'd get getting to school on time pretty close. One time I walked in to homeroom a few moments after the ball.  I'm not speaking in hyperbole -- I was maybe 3-5 seconds late. Unfortunately for me, I walked in the same time as the kid who caused the most problems in home run and he had basically run out of every inch of slack from the homeroom teacher. As immediately says, "hey [forget kid's name], go to the office. You're late."  The kid then retorts back, "well [Woz] was late too. Are you going to send him to or just me!?" The teacher, in a bind and probably not wanting to let him off the hook, looks at me with some sympathy but tells me I need to go too. 

I get there and sit amongst the ten or so other kids who were late. Usually this got a detention I believe. When it's my turn to go in I have the following exchange: 

VP: Who are you? What grade?

Me: I'm [Woz]. I'm a senior. 

VP: And I don't know you? Why are you here? 

Me: I was a few seconds late to homeroom. 

VP: A few seconds or a few minutes? 

Me: I think it was maybe 3-5 seconds. 

VP: Why were you late? 

Me: I didn't catch the green left arrow at [insert busy intersection near school] and I just wound up a few seconds late. 

VP: You are serious that it was only a few seconds. 

Me: Yes. :mellow: 

VP: ....

Me: ....

VP: Get out of here. 

 

 

Yeah I was pretty lame. 

Edited by Zow

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41 minutes ago, Ron Swanson said:

2nd Grade.  I loved to read and didn't feel like going outside for recess so I hid out under the piano and read. Got suspended for two days for reading.  I hated school after that.

Haha funny. Reminds me of a time in second grade. During recess I was reading Stephen King's "It." I showed my buddy some of the more risque lines and he started laughing and decided to show the teacher. She read it and it was obviously inappropriate but I could see on her face that she was so torn because she was about to get a kid in trouble for reading during recess. 

She handed the book back to me and told me not to show anybody the dirty parts. 

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40 minutes ago, Da Guru said:

 

The priest would come into our classrooms every report card making and read everyone's grade out loud to the whole class.   I got a C in conduct once and he grabbed me by the ear and said this better be an A or B next marking.

Mine did the same! Felt terrible for the kids with weak grades (because they probably had some undiagnosed learning disability) and it was so ####### awkward. Priests used to just come in and interrupt a meaningful lesson for this nonsense. 

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6th grade when I slammed the door on this kid's hand for calling me some name. Nearly broke a couple of his fingers. I got sent home.

8th grade when I was waiting in line for the school bus at the end of the day. I was behind this girl and the AP thought I was pinching this girl's butt. I wasn't because I was fidgeting with a blister on my hand. I had to write a 4-page essay on how to treat girls respectfully.

11th grade when my medical records - including the out of state immunization records - didn't get transferred to the new school. They kicked me out of school until I got new immunization records at least and that was like 2 days. I got to call the AP an "a$$hole" on the way out the door.

 

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When I was a young lad, my parents would take us to the local truck stop for dinner. In the bathroom, there was a machine on the wall that took quarters and had pictures of naked women on it. I had no idea what was in that machine, but I was dying to find out. I asked a couple of my friends, but no one knew for sure. I assumed maybe they were tiny picture-books or something. Anywho, the next time we went to the diner, I stuffed my pocket with quarters determined to find out.

After ordering my meatloaf dinner, I nervously excused myself from the table and headed to the bathroom. I had enough for two “books” so I decided to purchase the one next to the girl with the biggest boobs that said “lubricated” and also the one called the “French Tickler”. Sounded exotic. They were in little packs the size of matches, tightly wrapped with plastic. When I got home, I emptied out a can of shredded beef jerky that was supposed to look like chew, and placed my 2 treasures inside to take to school the next day.

Word spread quick the next morning and everyone was anxiously awaiting recess so we could finally find out what was in those dirty little books. A bunch of us went up by the woods where we were out of view. We formed a large circle and I pulled out the can. I slowly opened the pack with the girl with the big boobs on the front. I’ll never forget the looks of confusion and feelings of disappointment when we discovered there was a balloon inside. Recess was over, so I shoved the greasy balloons back in the can and headed back into class.

The boys in class were still buzzing and everyone wanted a second look at the balloons. We passed the can down the row and everyone was taking a peak and giggling. Eventually the teacher caught on and snatched the can mid-pass. The kid immediately rolled on me and said “it’s not mine, it’s EZ’s”. My heart was in my throat. The teacher was now standing above me. “Ok EZ, let’s see what’s in this little can of yours here.” The teacher grasped the can and twisted and turned but the lid wouldn’t budge. He fiddled with it for about 20 painstakingly long seconds before finally giving up and just dropping it on the desk in front of me.

You’d think after this close call, I would’ve ditched the rubbers, but being the idiot I am, I took them out to recess and ended up getting caught again. I wound up down in the principals office where he attempted to have a very educational and uncomfortable conversation with me. I remember leaving even more confused than when I went in.

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Not so much sent as carried. 

My Junior year, I had the best car in the school--69 candy apple red Mustang--car is still in my garage some 34 years later. So one pep assembly a friend of mine and I go to my house because he has a bottle of vodka. My first time drinking the hard stuff and we chased it with water.  I was blitzed!! To this day I am ashamed of myself for driving back to school, but luckily not a long drive.

I get to school and I am a mess. I fall out of my desk and my friend, trying to cover for me, comes up with this idea and yells, "He is having a diabetic attack!!"  (because I have had type 1 diabetes since I was seven). He gets me to bathroom, but I am so sick it is not even funny.  The Dean came in (and this is all 2nd hand stories at this point mind you because I am out) but the Dean throws me over his shoulder and fireman carries me to the office. According to many eyewitness accounts, I was spewing like a sprinkler all the way there. Get to the office and people are still thinking I am having a "diabetic attack" so an ambulance is called. EMS guys come I throw up on them. I throw up on the nurse. I apparently was repeating some random phone number at the top of my lungs (and no, it wasn't 867-5309). They realize I am just drunk--so they call my dad.   

Now, I would have rather they took me in the ambulance, but I end up hanging my head out the window of his truck, throwing up all the way home.  I got to wash that truck later.

My parents took my car for a week. I got a three day suspension, but because I was an honor student and overall good kid, they counted the drunk day as one, so I only missed two days.  

Upside--I became one of the most popular kids at school overnight. Every Senior party from that point forward, I got an invite. Everyone thought I was the "party guy" and I kind of ran with it for the rest of my high school years. 

 

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A couple times accused of fighting. Wasn't really. Just kids challenging each other physically a little bit. The first time it happened was when I found out about my "permanent record".

Once for smoking on school grounds. Only suspended for 1 day so I would be eligible to play in our next basketball game. It wasn't that I was good. I just didn't suck as bad as the rest of the team.

Once for skipping school. Got caught because my dad saw me getting out of a car when I should have been at school. He called the school to ask how many classes I had missed.

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2 hours ago, Zow said:

Mine did the same! Felt terrible for the kids with weak grades (because they probably had some undiagnosed learning disability) and it was so ####### awkward. Priests used to just come in and interrupt a meaningful lesson for this nonsense. 

The worst part is that we had to walk up and stand next to him as he read it.   I still remember some kid getting a D in math and the priest shaking his head and saying "This is what you get when you put no effort in"

The puzzling thing is my Catholic grade school was in a lower income but hard working area of Detroit, that being said so many of the kids ended up being high achievers in life.  My family included.  When I go to reunions they credit that tough schooling and discipline we received. We knew when we screwed up there would be a price to pay and our parents would not step in but support the penalty.

It would never fly today though.

Edited by Da Guru

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5th grade:  I did not look at the teacher when answering a question.  This made the teacher furious for "disrespecting authority". The teacher gave the principal a list of trumped-up infractions and the principal believed all of them.  I got one month's worth of describing what I did "wrong" to be written out during recess.

6th grade: In addition to written assignment, he reading teacher required numerous book reports.  So numerous that there was no way I could keep up with them (without cheating I suspect).  As a result, I was sent to the principal's office after school until they were finished.

7th grade and up I went to a new school and was never sent to the principal's office nor sent to detention.

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Lot of weird ### teachers back in the day in here.  I had one in 6th grade.  1970. Mrs. Davis.   I was the math whiz kid. Rarely lost classroom math games in all the prior years.  This teach made me kinda like a teachers pet, always pointing out to others how good I was at math, and always calling on me when others didn't know the answer.   I hated that ####. After about two months of it, she called on me to help someone out and I said no.  I was sent to the principals office and got paddled pretty hard for it. 

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17 hours ago, General Malaise said:

Funny how memories are conjured up. 

I got sent for coughing - COUGHING 

lol this just reminded me that we used to cough excessively on purpose to annoy a teacher in middle school.  plausible deniability and all that.  kids are dumb.

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So many times.  I was on a first name basis with his admin.  She was awesome.

  • Many, many, times for missing class.
  • A few times for fighting physically.
  • A few more times for verbal altercations with another student in the classroom (usually led to physical fighting later).
  • One time for telling a teacher she was wrong (when she was).

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22 hours ago, General Malaise said:

I wonder when they quit paddling?  I don't think they can anymore, but in the 80s, I got hit at least a half-dozen times.  It HURT!

The board of education.

 

 

My grade school Principal was named Mr. Linguss.   He never got my jokes about it.  I was always the smallest kid in class, but the toughest even for several grades up.  A lot of folks tried to test me and lost.  Each time I got sent to the Principal.  I finally grew between sophomore and junior year to a respectable height.

 

The most serious incident brought the cops to the school.  I was in fourth grade, my older brother in 6th.  He was a big kid but had missed a month and a half with the onset of diabetes.  When he came back he was weak as a kitten.  Two doofuses in his grade who had been held back saw his weakness as an opportunity to pick on him out on the playground.  Our playgrounds were separated by levels with hills in between, 1st and 2nd on top of the hill, 3rd and 4th midway down, and 5th and 6th at the bottom. I saw those #######s stomping my brother.  I went racing down.  I flying body blocked them off my brother.  The bigger kid I grabbed by the back of his head and raked his face along the top of a century fence tearing him open pretty good.  The other kid I found a way to break his arm.  The cops did not know what to make of a 4th grader, the smallest kid in his class beating two 14 year old twice held back 6th graders twice his size into a pulp.  I did not get charged.

 

In 7th grade I saw some classmate pull a fire alarm.  One of the guys they suspected and who was in the group who did so did not want to give up his close buddies so when questioned he said I was in the hallway and maybe I knew who did it.  Well I was in the hallway, maybe 100 feet away.  Actually I was passing by the opening to that hallway at an inopportune time. I was in no way involved but the cops and the principal brought me in for questioning.  They got nowhere, I was no narc.  They brought my parents in, they got nowhere, I was no narc.  I got suspended for two days which got them nowhere, I was no narc.  When I got back to school I systematically hunted down first the guy who gave me up and then the others involved who let me take the rap for their transgression.  I beat them to a pulp.  I had some anger issues.  The Principal, of course, figured out why I had done so.  Eventually the truth came out, not from me, I was no narc, that I had been punished wrongfully unless one thought the suspension was for defying authority and covering for the behavior of others.

Edited by Ditkaless Wonders
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Elementary school was a disaster for your humble servant. First, they couldnt figure out what grade i should be in, cuz i was an immature pipsqueak smarter than my teachers. Second, me Da HATED paying for Catholic school, so i was one year in, one year out. Lastly, i'm wikkidpissah - i been 17 since i was three. I've had a scam of some kind since i was 8yo, even had a bodyguard to help enforce my lunchmoney extortions. Highlights: the sisters of Sacred Heart locking me in a closet under the stairs, for hours at a time on occasions where i questioned the existence of the afterlife, so i would know just how dark & alone eternity would be without divinity; and being suspended from Curley School (you can imagine the 3 Stooges imitations even the girls could do there, though the name came from a prominent Boston political family) in 5th grade as a pornographer - sold cutouts from Playboys for a dime apiece. Me Ma STILL blushes that one out.

High school out in the burbs was more truant officers than principals. I did have one anti-authoritarian triumph in high school, though - Roger Hadfield. I was hall-hanging with some buds during a class and the vice-principal took our names and gave us detentions. Dunno why, but i gave the false moniker above. The next day, Roger Hadfield was paged throughout the day. I guessed i was onto something so i had my pal Rick, who had keys he wasn't supposed to have and freedom to be in school after hours as the head of the Ham Radio Club, to let me in to the file room and we created a student file for our doppelganger nand we had a good coupla months of miscreance with a Dorian Gray of disciplines taking the heat for us. I still give that name when i dont have to give my own - more olskool poker players know me as Roger than as my real name.

Edited by wikkidpissah
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