A friend is having his wake before he dies (1 Viewer)

[Da Guru]

A guy I grew up with was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor- glioblastoma. Has had three opinions and basically the timeframe is 8-10 months tops with or without chemo. After gathering all the info he has decided to not do any kind of treatment as he was told the treatment may give him a month or two more but the side effects would limit the first few so called good months. I saw him last week and you can tell something is wrong like maybe a mild stroke but he is mobile, can walk, talk and see.  All of those things will disappear in the latter stages.

When I visited him he tells me he is not having a funeral after he passes but planning to have an "Irish wake" in August while he is still alive and in somewhat decent condition. Has contacted a bunch of guys he grew up with and wants us to invite anyone we think would have attended his funeral. Has told his family and co-workers the same. Going to hire a local band, have it catered with an open bar and wants it to be a bash. Is hoping he can go table to table or whatever and say his good-byes and then enjoy a good party.  Said he would like to hear what people are going to say about him before and not after he is gone. I laughed when he said "And price does not matter if you know what I mean"

When he first told me this I did not think it was such a good idea but the more I think about it what a fantastic idea it is.   

 

[JShare87]

A guy I grew up with was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Has had three opinions and basically the timeframe is 8-10 months tops with or without chemo. After gathering all the info he has decided to not do any kind of treatment as he was told the treatment may give him a month or two more but the side effects would limit the first few so called good months. I saw him last week and you can tell something is wrong like maybe a mild stroke but he is mobile, can walk, talk and see.  All of those things will disappear in the latter stages.

When I visited him he tells me he is not having a funeral but planning his wake in August while he is still alive and in somewhat decent condition. Has contacted a bunch of guys he grew up with and wants us to invite anyone we think would have attended his funeral. Has told his family and co-workers the same. Going to hire a local band, have it catered with an open bar and wants it to be a bash. Is hoping he can go table to table or whatever and say his good-byes and then enjoy a good party.  Said he would like to hear what people are going to say about him before and not after he is gone. I laughed when he said "And price does not matter if you know what I mean"

When he first told me this I did not think it was such a good idea but the more I think about it what a fantastic idea it is.   

I agree, it is a pretty cool idea. Sorry to hear about your friend.

 

[jamny]

Woah...seems weird to me. I doubt it's something I'd ever consider but you never know what you'd do until you're in that position.

I hope it helps him.

 

[3C's]

Probably a bit bittersweet but celebrate life instead of mourning death.

 

[Chemical X]

Who wants to celebrate that?  Awful idea IMO.  

 

[AAABatteries]

Who wants to celebrate that?  Awful idea IMO.  

Dude is dying - he should do whatever the hell he wants in the time he has left.  And he's celebrating his life, not his death.

 

[sho nuff]

Interesting idea for sure.  Sorry to hear about your friend.

glioblastoma is nasty stuff.  My aunt passed a year after diagnosis .  My father had an astrocytoma and was good for over a year before they found another tumo.  glioblastoma that time.  And he passed about 9 months after that.  And treatments were pretty bad on him.  Mobility went pretty quick.

 

[otb_lifer]

Irish Wake with the 'deceased' actively participating - love this idea, good for him going out on his terms.

Blessings out to your friend - may his final days be merciful.

 

[Ignoramus]

I think it's beautiful. 

 

[satch]

Dude is dying - he should do whatever the hell he wants in the time he has left.  And he's celebrating his life, not his death.

Agree 100%. 

 

[whiskey7]

I agree, it is a pretty cool idea. Sorry to hear about your friend.

 

[culdeus]

Who would have a problem with this?

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Dude is dying - he should do whatever the hell he wants in the time he has left.  And he's celebrating his life, not his death.

Agreed. I'm sure emotions for everyone will be ricocheting all over the place minute to minute, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

What better way to go out than your family and friends letting you know how much they love you?

 

[SacramentoBob]

Who wants to celebrate that?  Awful idea IMO.  

Don't send me flowers when I'm dead.

 

[-OZ-]

Probably a bit bittersweet but celebrate life instead of mourning death.

more people should do this, but I guess the bright side is most of us don't know how long we have.  So enjoy the good times, tell those you love how you feel and live! 

Have a great weekend ladies and gentlemen.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

It does make it awkward and more challenging though to "comfort" the widow. 

 

[RokNRole]

I'd bring my friend plenty of hookers and blow at his wake.

 

[wikkidpissah]

It's the way to go.

A well-conducted demise can be a beautiful thing. Had a running buddy in my poker days, complained one night about a pain running down his neck & upper back. Told him he should get it looked at, so he did. The medicos took some pix and, bang, super-advanced lung cancer. Arrange your affairs, they said - six weeks tops.

We went to visit Billy after he phoned us with the news. He joked with us that he'd like to go out like Bogie, who received guests every day of his last month before dying of lung cancer. We said WTF not and mentioned it to his wife at the end of the visit.

Billy didnt keep many friends but was a character who everybody said "love that guy!" about. So we started asking folks we know to go visit him and keep it fun. My gal's friends who knew him were all musicians and soon enough we were having acoustic sings & jams, which Billy loved.

Turned pretty quickly into a thing - soon enough, we had folks from cardrooms, clubs, golf courses, all his hangouts, calling and asking when they could see him. We gave him a smoking jacket like Bogie's we had quickmade from a picture by one of the wardrobers from a casino show, so he could receive everyone like his hero. His wife, a delightful & amazingly easy-going gal who i didnt really know much til then kept like a dance card so there werent too many people at once.

Extraordinary thing and it made a guy who socialized with everyone but got close to only a few almost glad to being dying young when the process showed him how much and well people liked him. He was in a lot of pain last coupla weeks but you couldnt knock the smile off his face widda baseball bat. To die like you lived or get a chance to answer the questions we're all too proud ask is a rare gift, and worth every effort you can make to achieve.. 

 

[Chemical X]

Dude is dying - he should do whatever the hell he wants in the time he has left.  And he's celebrating his life, not his death.

so, when you show up, you drink and dance?  

 

[Ketamine Dreams]

Who would have a problem with this?

See above. 

Great idea. Sorry to hear about your buddy. 

 

[Franknbeans]

it's an awesome idea

 

[ProstheticRGK]

I love this idea. Sorry about your friend, but I like the idea of going out on his own terms. So many times, there's things we wish we would have/could have said to someone, after they're gone. Plus, if it's my memorial- I want to drink like Brad Pitt in Snatch.

 

[JetMaxx]

The creativity of the FFA never ceases to amaze me

 

[bentley]

Great idea. One of my favorite performers, Jimmy LaFave, threw himself a big tribute concert and final performance before he went. It was so emotional. Ended up passing three days after the show. We were blessed to witness it.

 

[joffer]

Hard to imagine what you'd do until it happens to you.  I wouldn't judge.

P.S. Someone please make a documentary of wikkid's life.  TIA.

 

[Tiger Fan]

A guy I grew up with was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor- glioblastoma. Has had three opinions and basically the timeframe is 8-10 months tops with or without chemo. After gathering all the info he has decided to not do any kind of treatment as he was told the treatment may give him a month or two more but the side effects would limit the first few so called good months. I saw him last week and you can tell something is wrong like maybe a mild stroke but he is mobile, can walk, talk and see.  All of those things will disappear in the latter stages.

When I visited him he tells me he is not having a funeral after he passes but planning to have an "Irish wake" in August while he is still alive and in somewhat decent condition. Has contacted a bunch of guys he grew up with and wants us to invite anyone we think would have attended his funeral. Has told his family and co-workers the same. Going to hire a local band, have it catered with an open bar and wants it to be a bash. Is hoping he can go table to table or whatever and say his good-byes and then enjoy a good party.  Said he would like to hear what people are going to say about him before and not after he is gone. I laughed when he said "And price does not matter if you know what I mean"

When he first told me this I did not think it was such a good idea but the more I think about it what a fantastic idea it is.   

It's a ####### great idea.  Everyone should be able to go out on their own terms.  Good on him.

 

[bigbottom]

It is an absolutely wonderful idea. 

 

[RokNRole]

Seriously this guy should get a few hours with 6-8 hookers all to himself before he checks out. If he has a good group of friends they should be able to make that happen.

 

[Otis]

Probably not only great for him, but great closure for all his family and friends to have a chance to say goodbye. 

 

[Quez]

Who would have a problem with this?

People that don't like to party i guess.

Aldous Huxley had a nice way of going out.

 

[Christo]

so, when you show up, you drink and dance?  

I drink first then dance.

 

[comfortably numb]

Does this mean you have to bring a gift?

Jk 

Sorry about your friend

 

[boilerdave]

P.S. Someone please make a documentary of wikkid's life.  TIA.

That makes two good ideas in this thread.

 

[Mariasizzle]

god thats sad. i couldnt do it

 

[bigbottom]

When we finally had exhausted all options for Chance, we had a get together at our house with all his friends, family and classmates from school. They all brought cards and sat with him and told stories and laughed. It was an incredibly heartwarming event that brought him a lot of happiness. We should all be so lucky to have something like this before we pass. 

 

[Hilts]

It's undoubtedly going to be a bittersweet event that will cause you and all his loved ones smiles and tears throughout the rest of your lives. A beautiful and wonderful way to celebrate your life and go out as you please. Kudos to your friend for having that level of courage to accept the inevitable and make one last loving memory.