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Calling someone "sweetheart" in a work environment? (2 Viewers)

KCitons

KCitons

Footballguy
Is it ever ok to address someone as sweetheart at work? Is it creepier if it's directed towards a woman from a man? Or from a woman towards a man?

Does age play a factor? IE: old guy calls all young women sweetheart, so it's excused?

 
jeez... next thing i know i won't even be able to walk up to a random woman and just say "nice ####"

 
KCitons said:
Is it ever ok to address someone as sweetheart at work? Is it creepier if it's directed towards a woman from a man? Or from a woman towards a man?

Does age play a factor? IE: old guy calls all young women sweetheart, so it's excused?
Click to expand...
So the guy you work with got pissed then?

 
I wouldn't refer to someone at work as "sweetheart", but I had a client just today refer to both me and her direct (male) boss as "sweetheart" in a conference call. She calls me "sweetie" on the phone regularly. I've never thought anything of it until right now. She's a nice southern lady who's at least twice my age. :shrug:

 
Steve Tasker said:
I wouldn't refer to someone at work as "sweetheart", but I had a client just today refer to both me and her direct (male) boss as "sweetheart" in a conference call. She calls me "sweetie" on the phone regularly. I've never thought anything of it until right now. She's a nice southern lady who's at least twice my age. :shrug:
Click to expand...
Sorry, didn't mean to ruin it for you two.

 
In the south you can walk into a convenience store and have some unknown clerk call you sweetheart. Just a standard greeting in some places.

 
Are you talking about an employee talking to another employee, a boss addressing an employee, or a customer addressing an employee?

 
If it makes the person uncomfortable to a point where it affects their job performance, then the proper procedure is to report it to the supervisor, and notify the offender (and notify HR). Then, if it happens again, you have a leg to stand on regarding discipline. It specifically has to affect job performance, though - that is an important factor if you are trying to determine sexual harassment and determining if there is a larger problem. And everyone involved has to be notified that the action needs to stop. After that, when it becomes "habitual," then further action can be taken.

 
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It would be good to find out if this guy calls everyone "sweetheart" in an attempt to create an informal work environment. Try to figure that out first. If he is only doing it to this one employee in particular, then it gets more subjective, and you should probably try to find out if the tone that he is using is condescending, gender based, or worst of all - sexual in nature.

If it is informal, it kind of becomes just what this person is willing to put up with. But it should be noted that (common sense should tell the boss this also) that the majority of women in the workplace find pet names unacceptable, and about half of those women get angry about it. It's also worth noting that male bosses or coworkers are the ones who are most often addressing women like this in the workplace - with "pet" names and such.

 
So here is the back story:

My 16 year old son got a job at McDonald's about 6 weeks ago. I picked him up at work about 9:55pm last night. We made a full circle around the building and standing in the middle of the drive was one of the managers. My son rolled his window down and she addressed him as Sweetheart. She then scolded him for not stocking before he left, and not checking out with her before he left. As he sat there pleading his case, all I could think of is "who calls someone sweetheart these days?" I didn't care about the scolding and figured he probably screwed up. (found out later, they never gave him a break and the other manager told him to go home 15 minutes early)

P.S. She looks like Broom Hilda. If that matters.

 
KCitons said:
So here is the back story:

My 16 year old son got a job at McDonald's about 6 weeks ago. I picked him up at work about 9:55pm last night. We made a full circle around the building and standing in the middle of the drive was one of the managers. My son rolled his window down and she addressed him as Sweetheart. She then scolded him for not stocking before he left, and not checking out with her before he left. As he sat there pleading his case, all I could think of is "who calls someone sweetheart these days?" I didn't care about the scolding and figured he probably screwed up. (found out later, they never gave him a break and the other manager told him to go home 15 minutes early)

P.S. She looks like Broom Hilda. If that matters.
Click to expand...
On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being harmless and 10 being a fireable offense:

Manager calling your son "sweetheart" = 5

Your son being a lazy ass = 7

Your son sassing his manager = 9

 
Mr. Retukes said:
KCitons said:
So here is the back story:

My 16 year old son got a job at McDonald's about 6 weeks ago. I picked him up at work about 9:55pm last night. We made a full circle around the building and standing in the middle of the drive was one of the managers. My son rolled his window down and she addressed him as Sweetheart. She then scolded him for not stocking before he left, and not checking out with her before he left. As he sat there pleading his case, all I could think of is "who calls someone sweetheart these days?" I didn't care about the scolding and figured he probably screwed up. (found out later, they never gave him a break and the other manager told him to go home 15 minutes early)

P.S. She looks like Broom Hilda. If that matters.
Click to expand...
On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being harmless and 10 being a fireable offense:

Manager calling your son "sweetheart" = 5

Your son being a lazy ass = 7

Your son sassing his manager = 9
Click to expand...
I would agree with these numbers. But I think his lazy score is a little low.

 
You gotta excuse the 50+ gals from this.

It's only an HR issue if a male says this to a female. Strictly notification - not something you fire them for. Now, if they are groping their #### when they say it - another story.

 
sweetheart, darling, buttercup, pumpkin and boo* are all usually well received when addressing female bartenders/waitresses but I would be cautious using them at your work

* only to be used with certain ethnicities

 
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KCitons said:
Wondering if it was a 16 year old girl and a 50 year old man, would it raise the creepiness level?
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There's a simple litmus test. Do you think the person saying sweetheart wants to bang the person they're saying it to?Old lady to young man - ok

Young man to old lady -ok

Young lady to old man-ok

Old man top young lady -not ok

Old man top old lady -ok

Old lady to old man - not ok, but nobody's complaining

 
Yeah I don't find it that big a deal in the circumstance it was used. I would guess she probably talks to all the kids that way. Little bit of a maternal thing.

 
NCCommish said:
Yeah I don't find it that big a deal in the circumstance it was used. I would guess she probably talks to all the kids that way. Little bit of a maternal thing.
Click to expand...
No problem with this whatsoever. Had a secretary where I worked call me "kiddo" as a term of endearment. Always found it affectionate and kinda cool.

 
A few people can pull it off without sounding creepy, annoying, or derogatory. It's a minority, though. I'm fine with them putting it to good use.

 
gianmarco said:
A few people can pull it off without sounding creepy, annoying, or derogatory. It's a minority, though. I'm fine with them putting it to good use.
Click to expand...
If there is a southern accent too it, it is cool. If it is an old guy talking to a young woman, it is creepy.

 
jon_mx said:
In the south you can walk into a convenience store and have some unknown clerk call you sweetheart. Just a standard greeting in some places.
Click to expand...
This is very true.

KCitons said:
So here is the back story:

My 16 year old son got a job at McDonald's about 6 weeks ago. I picked him up at work about 9:55pm last night. We made a full circle around the building and standing in the middle of the drive was one of the managers. My son rolled his window down and she addressed him as Sweetheart. She then scolded him for not stocking before he left, and not checking out with her before he left. As he sat there pleading his case, all I could think of is "who calls someone sweetheart these days?" I didn't care about the scolding and figured he probably screwed up. (found out later, they never gave him a break and the other manager told him to go home 15 minutes early)

P.S. She looks like Broom Hilda. If that matters.
Click to expand...
Harmless.

 
Mr. Retukes said:
KCitons said:
So here is the back story:

My 16 year old son got a job at McDonald's about 6 weeks ago. I picked him up at work about 9:55pm last night. We made a full circle around the building and standing in the middle of the drive was one of the managers. My son rolled his window down and she addressed him as Sweetheart. She then scolded him for not stocking before he left, and not checking out with her before he left. As he sat there pleading his case, all I could think of is "who calls someone sweetheart these days?" I didn't care about the scolding and figured he probably screwed up. (found out later, they never gave him a break and the other manager told him to go home 15 minutes early)

P.S. She looks like Broom Hilda. If that matters.
Click to expand...
On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being harmless and 10 being a fireable offense:

Manager calling your son "sweetheart" = 5

Your son being a lazy ass = 7

Your son sassing his manager = 9
Click to expand...
maybe if he was paid $15/hr he'd put forth some effort.

 
Rick James said:
Mr. Retukes said:
KCitons said:
So here is the back story:

My 16 year old son got a job at McDonald's about 6 weeks ago. I picked him up at work about 9:55pm last night. We made a full circle around the building and standing in the middle of the drive was one of the managers. My son rolled his window down and she addressed him as Sweetheart. She then scolded him for not stocking before he left, and not checking out with her before he left. As he sat there pleading his case, all I could think of is "who calls someone sweetheart these days?" I didn't care about the scolding and figured he probably screwed up. (found out later, they never gave him a break and the other manager told him to go home 15 minutes early)

P.S. She looks like Broom Hilda. If that matters.
Click to expand...
On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being harmless and 10 being a fireable offense:

Manager calling your son "sweetheart" = 5

Your son being a lazy ass = 7

Your son sassing his manager = 9
Click to expand...
maybe if he was paid $15/hr he'd put forth some effort.
Click to expand...
Not sure that would matter.

 
KCitons said:
Rick James said:
Mr. Retukes said:
KCitons said:
So here is the back story:

My 16 year old son got a job at McDonald's about 6 weeks ago. I picked him up at work about 9:55pm last night. We made a full circle around the building and standing in the middle of the drive was one of the managers. My son rolled his window down and she addressed him as Sweetheart. She then scolded him for not stocking before he left, and not checking out with her before he left. As he sat there pleading his case, all I could think of is "who calls someone sweetheart these days?" I didn't care about the scolding and figured he probably screwed up. (found out later, they never gave him a break and the other manager told him to go home 15 minutes early)

P.S. She looks like Broom Hilda. If that matters.
Click to expand...
On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being harmless and 10 being a fireable offense:

Manager calling your son "sweetheart" = 5

Your son being a lazy ass = 7

Your son sassing his manager = 9
Click to expand...
maybe if he was paid $15/hr he'd put forth some effort.
Click to expand...
Not sure that would matter.
Click to expand...
He might be a little more considerate when he sasses back. :shrug:

 
Living down in NC for a while now and it is pretty common. The place I get my haircut has some very nice looking younger ladies. Yes, that is one of the reasons I go there. I made an appointment a few weeks ago and the receptionist said sweetie a few times and in her southern accent (and knowing what she looked like) it was very nice. I wholeheartedly support the use for southern ladies and agree with above that when a man says it, there is nothing but creepiness.

 
He talked to her a few days later. She didn't realize that the previous manager had let my son off 15 minutes early since he hadn't had a break yet. He asked if he was still suppose to check out with both managers if that happens. She told him yes. Not sure how this works if he gets off at 9:45 and she doesn't start until 10pm? Seems like it should be communicated between managers.

 
stbugs said:
Living down in NC for a while now and it is pretty common. The place I get my haircut has some very nice looking younger ladies. Yes, that is one of the reasons I go there. I made an appointment a few weeks ago and the receptionist said sweetie a few times and in her southern accent (and knowing what she looked like) it was very nice. I wholeheartedly support the use for southern ladies and agree with above that when a man says it, there is nothing but creepiness.
Click to expand...
Not sure if Omaha, NE is considered southern?

 
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