Can we talk about the Utah social media restrictions without getting political? (1 Viewer)

[Ilov80s]

OK... I'm going to guess Plymouth.

I do live in Plymouth. I would like to maintain a little privacy so I won't really answer where I work specifically but I think if someone has knowledge of the area they can narrow it down to a couple schools from what I gave.

 

[The Commish]

While Tik Tok does have an added element of concern here, I gladly throw them on the same pile of crap that I throw Instagram, Snapchat, You Tube, Facebook on. My kids have no access to any of these things on devices owned by us. We're already doing what Utah is legislating.

 

[Manster]

@Ilov80s the incident that made us feel like phones need to be banned from school was when my daughter was in 7th grade. A boy took her picture at school, doctored up the pic to make fun of her appearance, and then posted it on his Snapchat......all on school grounds. Apparently, this little punk has a lot of followers including a bunch of his 7th classmates who proceeded to come up to my daughter throughtout the day and show her the pic......she was devasted.....she's a 7th grade girl who is already self conscious about her appearance......we were ****ing pissed!!! If the school didn't do something I was finding parents....kid was suspended for a few days whatever......at least he leaves my daughter alone now......also, there have been multiple porn/ inappropriate pics that show up......I mean teenage boys with all that at their fingertips! At a minimum, it's a huge distraction, and at it's worst, it's a tool to harass, bully, and abuse.......should not be allowed at school. Bring back pay phones. Or use the phone at the office if you need to get a hold of ur parents.

Yeah taking pictures of other people is a problem. Good luck getting rules to disallow phones to enter a school building. That's just not going to happen IMO. Parents and kids depend on them to communicate, coordinate rides and I have heard from multiple parents, "if there is a school shooting, my kid needs access to their phone". I just don't think you can create a time machine on this one. If parents want to unite on this one, good for them but I don't see schools getting enough support to do this. Maybe at middle school it's possible, not sure. I teach HS so that is all I know. A total phone ban is not happening.

The interesting thing about the social media age is while it's brought major negatives like increased teen anxiety, depression and lower social fitness. It has also coincided with positive trends like a decrease in alcohol and drug use, decrease in teen pregnancy and decrease in bullying. I went to school without cell phones and I promise kids were a hell of a lot meaner than they are now.

Yep you're right. Weve created this artificial need to have contact all the time. It's ingrained in the culture now.......so we suffer the consequences of adolescents having Pandora's box at their firger tips with inadequate supervision......doesn't matter if you make em keep em put away in class. They have on campus and they will be used inappropriately routinely.


I think it depends on the school district as to how things are relative to the past. I also went to a tough school.

Our district is in real trouble (big school district in Oregon)......staff are burned out. Staff feel like they are not supported. The Admin is focusing on the wrong ****....that coupled with operating in fear of litigation, and dealing with a lot of kids who have no guidance at home.....there are record #'s kids going to private schools out here. The parents who give a **** are fed up.

 

[Ilov80s]

Yep you're right. Weve created this artificial need to have contact all the time. It's ingrained in the culture now.......so we suffer the consequences of adolescents having Pandora's box at their firger tips with inadequate supervision......doesn't matter if you make em keep em put away in class. They have on campus and they will be used inappropriately routinely.

It is definitely artificial but you are right that it is ingrained. For the kids it is the only world they have ever known. When my kids are on the phone, I swear half the time it's their parent texting or calling when the parents know damn well the kids aren't supposed to be using the phone.

I think it depends on the school district as to how things are relative to the past. I also went to a tough school.

I went to nice private school but kids were really mean. Kids here at least mostly leave each other alone. There certainly is bullying in HS but it's minimal compared to what I remember.

Our district is in real trouble (big school district in Oregon)......staff are burned out. Staff feel like they are not supported. The Admin is focusing on the wrong ****....that coupled with operating in fear of litigation, and dealing with a lot of kids who have no guidance at home.....there are record #'s kids going to private schools out here. The parents who give a **** are fed up.

Sucks to hear. The administration is really important. If they suck, it all runs down hill. Also, hate to keep throwing things back at parents, but public schools are a democratic institute. Voter turnout for school boards are very low. Most people couldn't tell you anything about the local school board- even if they have kids in the schools and are unhappy. If people want better schools, it's a total community effort. Ultimately, I think Americans are stretched too thin and are struggling to stay afloat. Even with financial success, there seems to a lack of support.

 

[The General]

Link

Some people do very well on TikTok.

I'm sure there are other social media networks where that lady can sell her clothes without assisting with CCP espionage.

Apparently not from what some of these sellers say. The TikTok algorithm is that good. Something else will fill the void I guess but I think the best resolution is they a sale can happen. No clue how this will work.

 

[culdeus]

Not sure if ok to link New York times here but the daily podcast is on this subject today.

 

[ChiefD]

While Tik Tok does have an added element of concern here, I gladly throw them on the same pile of crap that I throw Instagram, Snapchat, You Tube, Facebook on. My kids have no access to any of these things on devices owned by us. We're already doing what Utah is legislating.

Yeah, this is a tough one for sure.

My wife and I were like this too. Kids didn't get a phone until they were 13 - well beyond all of their friends. And we restricted them heavily. But then high school hit.

As someone mentioned earlier, kids just don't text. EVERY communication is on snapchat. And believe me, we agonized about snapchat for months. But we gave in because our oldest son had people wanting to communicate with him but since he didn't have snapchat he was left out. And to us - being left out over something as seemingly as silly as that was a no-go for us. High school is such a tough time for kids, and we wanted him to have the ability to make friends. Make plans. Do all the stuff that high school kids should do.

And now he's got friends and they are arranging stuff out and about and he's happy. Could he do these things even if he didn't have snapchat? Sure, but it's hard - especially for a kid who is really, really shy.

Regarding Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, etc....my two boys have Instagram and YouTube. My 15 year old has Facebook for his online lure business. He also has Instagram and YouTube so he can create content to promote his business, as he is NUTS about fishing.

My 17 year old is a sports nut and has his own YouTube channel where he talks sports. He's done quite a few of these and has his friends on to talk sports. It's really brought him out of his shell with confidence and speaking.

My wife and I debated all of this, believe me. Hours and hours and some hand wringing. But in the end we've recognized that it's a different world now. These are tools now just like a phone, an answering machine, a fax machine, a computer, etc....all were when we were growing up.

We have hopefully armed our kids with the proper perspectives and morality so they make good decisions. We have basically stressed two main points:

1. Once you put it out there it is out there FOREVER.

2. Don't allow social media to define you or let it decide how you should feel.

As with anything else, we hope and pray our kids are strong enough to mentally handle things in this world. As my father-in-law told me when my first child was born: "When you have kids they are on a rope. And every day you let out a little more rope. And then a little more."

It's a complicated world with this stuff. I just have to trust that my wife and I did our jobs properly. Which is really what everything with kids boils down to. Parents doing their jobs in the first place.

 

[The Commish]

While Tik Tok does have an added element of concern here, I gladly throw them on the same pile of crap that I throw Instagram, Snapchat, You Tube, Facebook on. My kids have no access to any of these things on devices owned by us. We're already doing what Utah is legislating.

Yeah, this is a tough one for sure.

My wife and I were like this too. Kids didn't get a phone until they were 13 - well beyond all of their friends. And we restricted them heavily. But then high school hit.

As someone mentioned earlier, kids just don't text. EVERY communication is on snapchat. And believe me, we agonized about snapchat for months. But we gave in because our oldest son had people wanting to communicate with him but since he didn't have snapchat he was left out. And to us - being left out over something as seemingly as silly as that was a no-go for us. High school is such a tough time for kids, and we wanted him to have the ability to make friends. Make plans. Do all the stuff that high school kids should do.

And now he's got friends and they are arranging stuff out and about and he's happy. Could he do these things even if he didn't have snapchat? Sure, but it's hard - especially for a kid who is really, really shy.

Regarding Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, etc....my two boys have Instagram and YouTube. My 15 year old has Facebook for his online lure business. He also has Instagram and YouTube so he can create content to promote his business, as he is NUTS about fishing.

My 17 year old is a sports nut and has his own YouTube channel where he talks sports. He's done quite a few of these and has his friends on to talk sports. It's really brought him out of his shell with confidence and speaking.

My wife and I debated all of this, believe me. Hours and hours and some hand wringing. But in the end we've recognized that it's a different world now. These are tools now just like a phone, an answering machine, a fax machine, a computer, etc....all were when we were growing up.

We have hopefully armed our kids with the proper perspectives and morality so they make good decisions. We have basically stressed two main points:

1. Once you put it out there it is out there FOREVER.

2. Don't allow social media to define you or let it decide how you should feel.

As with anything else, we hope and pray our kids are strong enough to mentally handle things in this world. As my father-in-law told me when my first child was born: "When you have kids they are on a rope. And every day you let out a little more rope. And then a little more."

It's a complicated world with this stuff. I just have to trust that my wife and I did our jobs properly. Which is really what everything with kids boils down to. Parents doing their jobs in the first place.

My oldest is 15. We allowed him to choose which texting app he was going to use. He has none of the other stuff. He's never even mentioned Snapchat....ever. So I guess I've got that going for me. He's allowed on Youtube for school, but ONLY on our home PC. Obviously I can't control devices that don't belong to me and I'm not naive enough to think he's not using it, but he isn't going to use it on my watch. I've required both him and my 11-year-old to watch "The Social Delima" so they understand what is at the root of all social media. We expose our oldest to a lot of stories about how SM goes wrong and impacts people in a negative manner. It's important to show them both sides of the coin.

 

[ChiefD]

My oldest is 15. We allowed him to choose which texting app he was going to use. He has none of the other stuff. He's never even mentioned Snapchat....ever. So I guess I've got that going for me. He's allowed on Youtube for school, but ONLY on our home PC. Obviously I can't control devices that don't belong to me and I'm not naive enough to think he's not using it, but he isn't going to use it on my watch. I've required both him and my 11-year-old to watch "The Social Delima" so they understand what is at the root of all social media. We expose our oldest to a lot of stories about how SM goes wrong and impacts people in a negative manner. It's important to show them both sides of the coin.

Yeah for sure. This stuff scares the hell out of me. And I hate it personally.

 

[Ilov80s]

So to circle it back, what do people think about regulations at the State level? What would or wouldn’t you support?

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I’m curious as to the ages of the kids whose posters have not allowed any social media. We waited until my daughter was 12 before she got a phone. 13 for Instagram. Private only. 14 for snapchat. Again private only. dumbtok around 15. again private

if kids are doing anything online, there seem To be countless ways to communicate and interact. Such as fb, insta, discord, snap, whats app, dumbtok, musically(pre TikTok) dub smash, twitter, fb messenger, meet up, face time, all sorts of online games. It’s endless. If they want to interact, they will.

one of the things I’m proudest of, is that our daughter talks to us. We have a very open and honest relationship. She tells us what’s up and in turn she’s built up quite a bit of trust with us. It’s nice not having a kid sneak around. that comes with telling her the truth about our idiocy. We don’t volunteer info, but if she asks, we tell the truth.

she does too much aimless dumbtok. But she’s A good kid. I’ll take it. And I hope she tires of it sooner rather than later.

 

[BassNBrew]

@Ilov80s the incident that made us feel like phones need to be banned from school was when my daughter was in 7th grade. A boy took her picture at school, doctored up the pic to make fun of her appearance, and then posted it on his Snapchat......all on school grounds. Apparently, this little punk has a lot of followers including a bunch of his 7th classmates who proceeded to come up to my daughter throughtout the day and show her the pic......she was devasted.....she's a 7th grade girl who is already self conscious about her appearance......we were ****ing pissed!!! If the school didn't do something I was finding parents....kid was suspended for a few days whatever......at least he leaves my daughter alone now......also, there have been multiple porn/ inappropriate pics that show up......I mean teenage boys with all that at their fingertips! At a minimum, it's a huge distraction, and at it's worst, it's a tool to harass, bully, and abuse.......should not be allowed at school. Bring back pay phones. Or use the phone at the office if you need to get a hold of ur parents.

Yeah taking pictures of other people is a problem. Good luck getting rules to disallow phones to enter a school building. That's just not going to happen IMO. Parents and kids depend on them to communicate, coordinate rides and I have heard from multiple parents, "if there is a school shooting, my kid needs access to their phone". I just don't think you can create a time machine on this one. If parents want to unite on this one, good for them but I don't see schools getting enough support to do this. Maybe at middle school it's possible, not sure. I teach HS so that is all I know. A total phone ban is not happening.

The interesting thing about the social media age is while it's brought major negatives like increased teen anxiety, depression and lower social fitness. It has also coincided with positive trends like a decrease in alcohol and drug use, decrease in teen pregnancy and decrease in bullying. I went to school without cell phones and I promise kids were a hell of a lot meaner than they are now.

Today kids doctor pics and make fun of you.

In the 80's they just beat the crap out of you, shot you with BB guns, or sexually assaulted you with Ben Gay. All of which were safer and better for you than getting blitzed on the weekends and driving home with your buddies.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Today kids doctor pics and make fun of you.

In the 80's they just beat the crap out of you, shot you with BB guns, or sexually assaulted you with Ben Gay. All of which were safer and better for you than getting blitzed on the weekends and driving home with your buddies.

There's probably a boy vs. girl thing here. For guys, dealing with bullies is easy. You either put up with it (which I unwisely chose to do) or you punch the bully in the nose, maybe catch a beating, and that's the end of it. Either way, it's not so bad. Girls flay one another for idle amusement and SM absolutely offers up the opportunity to dial that up to 11.

 

[Manster]

@Ilov80s the incident that made us feel like phones need to be banned from school was when my daughter was in 7th grade. A boy took her picture at school, doctored up the pic to make fun of her appearance, and then posted it on his Snapchat......all on school grounds. Apparently, this little punk has a lot of followers including a bunch of his 7th classmates who proceeded to come up to my daughter throughtout the day and show her the pic......she was devasted.....she's a 7th grade girl who is already self conscious about her appearance......we were ****ing pissed!!! If the school didn't do something I was finding parents....kid was suspended for a few days whatever......at least he leaves my daughter alone now......also, there have been multiple porn/ inappropriate pics that show up......I mean teenage boys with all that at their fingertips! At a minimum, it's a huge distraction, and at it's worst, it's a tool to harass, bully, and abuse.......should not be allowed at school. Bring back pay phones. Or use the phone at the office if you need to get a hold of ur parents.

Yeah taking pictures of other people is a problem. Good luck getting rules to disallow phones to enter a school building. That's just not going to happen IMO. Parents and kids depend on them to communicate, coordinate rides and I have heard from multiple parents, "if there is a school shooting, my kid needs access to their phone". I just don't think you can create a time machine on this one. If parents want to unite on this one, good for them but I don't see schools getting enough support to do this. Maybe at middle school it's possible, not sure. I teach HS so that is all I know. A total phone ban is not happening.

The interesting thing about the social media age is while it's brought major negatives like increased teen anxiety, depression and lower social fitness. It has also coincided with positive trends like a decrease in alcohol and drug use, decrease in teen pregnancy and decrease in bullying. I went to school without cell phones and I promise kids were a hell of a lot meaner than they are now.

Today kids doctor pics and make fun of you.

In the 80's they just beat the crap out of you, shot you with BB guns, or sexually assaulted you with Ben Gay. All of which were safer and better for you than getting blitzed on the weekends and driving home with your buddies.

Ha! We used to shoot each other with BB guns......then we switched to nerds instead of BB's.....they still hurt quite a bit.

All I know is we saw our daughters self esteem plummet based on what was happening at school. Teachers had no idea anything was going on.....too sidetracked dealing the REALLY bad kids or whatever. Thankfully, she learned to self advocate. This year has been much better......she grew a thicker skin I guess you could say. She knows how to handle herself. She realizes most of the bullies have bad home lives, and so they act out......she has learned to just kind of ignore most of it, knowing that these kids will either grow up some over the next few years, and take a better path, or be a drain on society in one form, or another.

 

[Manster]

Today kids doctor pics and make fun of you.

In the 80's they just beat the crap out of you, shot you with BB guns, or sexually assaulted you with Ben Gay. All of which were safer and better for you than getting blitzed on the weekends and driving home with your buddies.

There's probably a boy vs. girl thing here. For guys, dealing with bullies is easy. You either put up with it (which I unwisely chose to do) or you punch the bully in the nose, maybe catch a beating, and that's the end of it. Either way, it's not so bad. Girls flay one another for idle amusement and SM absolutely offers up the opportunity to dial that up to 11.

This is 100% correct in my experience......the more damaging stuff for my daughter was done by supposed friends "ghosting" and "blocking", etc.....girls can be very mean. I grew up with a brother. The girl stuff was new to me......much of it is maturity level, or lack there of......Jr high is tough as they say.

Phones and social media give people more avenues to exclude, or bully, and to a greater number of people, more easily.

 

[HellToupee]

Can’t even get the generous pour at the Capital Grill in Utah

 

[BassNBrew]

@Ilov80s the incident that made us feel like phones need to be banned from school was when my daughter was in 7th grade. A boy took her picture at school, doctored up the pic to make fun of her appearance, and then posted it on his Snapchat......all on school grounds. Apparently, this little punk has a lot of followers including a bunch of his 7th classmates who proceeded to come up to my daughter throughtout the day and show her the pic......she was devasted.....she's a 7th grade girl who is already self conscious about her appearance......we were ****ing pissed!!! If the school didn't do something I was finding parents....kid was suspended for a few days whatever......at least he leaves my daughter alone now......also, there have been multiple porn/ inappropriate pics that show up......I mean teenage boys with all that at their fingertips! At a minimum, it's a huge distraction, and at it's worst, it's a tool to harass, bully, and abuse.......should not be allowed at school. Bring back pay phones. Or use the phone at the office if you need to get a hold of ur parents.

Yeah taking pictures of other people is a problem. Good luck getting rules to disallow phones to enter a school building. That's just not going to happen IMO. Parents and kids depend on them to communicate, coordinate rides and I have heard from multiple parents, "if there is a school shooting, my kid needs access to their phone". I just don't think you can create a time machine on this one. If parents want to unite on this one, good for them but I don't see schools getting enough support to do this. Maybe at middle school it's possible, not sure. I teach HS so that is all I know. A total phone ban is not happening.

The interesting thing about the social media age is while it's brought major negatives like increased teen anxiety, depression and lower social fitness. It has also coincided with positive trends like a decrease in alcohol and drug use, decrease in teen pregnancy and decrease in bullying. I went to school without cell phones and I promise kids were a hell of a lot meaner than they are now.

Today kids doctor pics and make fun of you.

In the 80's they just beat the crap out of you, shot you with BB guns, or sexually assaulted you with Ben Gay. All of which were safer and better for you than getting blitzed on the weekends and driving home with your buddies.

Ha! We used to shoot each other with BB guns......then we switched to nerds instead of BB's.....they still hurt quite a bit.

All I know is we saw our daughters self esteem plummet based on what was happening at school. Teachers had no idea anything was going on.....too sidetracked dealing the REALLY bad kids or whatever. Thankfully, she learned to self advocate. This year has been much better......she grew a thicker skin I guess you could say. She knows how to handle herself. She realizes most of the bullies have bad home lives, and so they act out......she has learned to just kind of ignore most of it, knowing that these kids will either grow up some over the next few years, and take a better path, or be a drain on society in one form, or another.

Let me apologize if that post came off the wrong way. I was spring boarding on the more positive trends. You're reply captures my feelings. When you daughter didn't have the tools to deal with social media bullies it was very harmful. Through her maturely and/or your parenting the narrative has been shifted and it's less impactful.

We used to shot roman candles and fireworks at each other. Difference was everyone was willful participating. When 10 seniors were duct taping a freshman to a bench and using a broomstick to do things it wasn't meant to do OR supplying a kid with enough alcohol to kill them it wasn't the eras proudest moments. Things change but some kids are still mean.

 

[The Commish]

People continue to look at the impacts of SM on kids (though, I think it's as important to look at the impacts on adults too, but we aren't the best at self reflection). Ran across this substack that has a TON of info/data in it.

The Teen Mental Illness Epidemic is International: The Anglosphere

Why did mental health fall off a cliff at the same time and in the same way in the USA, The UK, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand? Part 1 of 3.

jonathanhaidt.substack.com

 

[The Z Machine]

People continue to look at the impacts of SM on kids (though, I think it's as important to look at the impacts on adults too, but we aren't the best at self reflection). Ran across this substack that has a TON of info/data in it.

The Teen Mental Illness Epidemic is International: The Anglosphere

Why did mental health fall off a cliff at the same time and in the same way in the USA, The UK, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand? Part 1 of 3.

jonathanhaidt.substack.com

Seems pretty obvious, but not sure what to do about it other than keeping our kids off their phones.

 

[The Commish]

People continue to look at the impacts of SM on kids (though, I think it's as important to look at the impacts on adults too, but we aren't the best at self reflection). Ran across this substack that has a TON of info/data in it.

The Teen Mental Illness Epidemic is International: The Anglosphere

Why did mental health fall off a cliff at the same time and in the same way in the USA, The UK, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand? Part 1 of 3.

jonathanhaidt.substack.com

Seems pretty obvious, but not sure what to do about it other than keeping our kids off their phones.

Right.....I've grown to accept that my kids make decisions while not in my supervision that I have little/no control over, but at minimum, I'm not going to allow them to make those decisions IN my supervision.

 

[Sabertooth]

I think it’s funny how people here act like it’s only kids who don’t know how to use social media. Plenty of adults have absolutely no idea how to interact, end up saying awful things in writing, dox people. It’s society wide.

 

[FreeBaGeL]

All I know is I remember a few years ago when China made a law that restricted kids from playing video games outside of certain hours and everyone had a good laugh about communism and how that kind of thing would never fly in America.

I agree that social media is terrible for people (not just kids, most adults are absolutely terrible people on social media). But we once thought that about videogames and rock n' roll too.