Creation vs. Evolution (1 Viewer)

[cstu]

I need to find a copy of Jesus Is Like My Scanning Electron Microscope.

Please let me know if you find that they also sell a t-shirt. Oh, please, let there be a t-shirt!

Not yet, but I liked this:

My Scanning Electron Microscope Saves

By Club Ed on September 29, 2009

Format: Paperback

I was having trouble with my scanning electron microscope, and I could not figure out where to turn for solutions. I suspected that the fundamental problem would lie in my lanthanum hexaboride cathodes, but the vacuum system was recently upgraded and its field emission guns are the best thermally-assisted Schottky guns that money can buy. I tried blowing on my zirconium oxide emitters, since that usually does the trick, but alas, something was still not right.

Then one day I stumbled across "Jesus is like my Scanning Electron Microscope" and I knew that somewhere inside I would find all of the answers that I needed! My suspicions were correct - it turns out that I was treating my electron microscope as if it were a piece of scientific equipment, instead of treating it as if it were my God. At once, I accepted my scanning electron microscope as my Lord and personal Savior, I bathed myself in its electron flow (which was tricky), and I began to preach its Good Data to everyone I encountered. I would endlessly read passages from the user manual, such as my favorite, from the book of SEM 8-4500, Chapter 9, Section 1:2, which tells us:

> The safety considerations are very minimal

> when using the scanning electron microscope.

> You are protected from all of the inner workings

> of the microscope by the plastic casing.

Could anything be more true in this topsy-turvy world of ours? I think we all would like to be protected from the "inner workings" of things. All we must do is give ourselves up to the scanning electron microscope, and its plastic casing.

But the important thing to me is how this has affected my life. I was looking for answers from my electron microscope. I wanted it to do things for me. But that was selfish and short sighted, and very "scientifically minded" of me. Now I merely look at what my scanning electron microscope can do for, and also do to others.

Since it still does not do anything in any kind of conventional sense, I am left to interpret what it wants me to do, say and believe. I have joyfully discovered that it wants me to oppress homosexuals, women, Jews, Muslims and blacks (I'm not entirely sure on that last one, but it's just to be on the safe side). It has told me to hate politicians who pretend that they aren't Muslims, but we really know they are. Also, it tells me to collect large sums of money from people, because it is a hungry, ravenous God. And it has revealed that tunneling electron microscopes are the devil.

To everyone that reads this, I ask you to look deeply into your soul, and accept my scanning electron microscope as your personal Lord and savior, and send it money.

 

[cstu]

J. An says:

As a Transmission Electron Microscopist, I find this blasphemous. Something as lowly as a 30keV microscope has nothing on something that can yield power in the MeV range.

 

[CowboysFromHell]

I need to find a copy of Jesus Is Like My Scanning Electron Microscope.

Please let me know if you find that they also sell a t-shirt. Oh, please, let there be a t-shirt!

Not yet, but I liked this:

My Scanning Electron Microscope Saves

By Club Ed on September 29, 2009

Format: Paperback

I was having trouble with my scanning electron microscope, and I could not figure out where to turn for solutions. I suspected that the fundamental problem would lie in my lanthanum hexaboride cathodes, but the vacuum system was recently upgraded and its field emission guns are the best thermally-assisted Schottky guns that money can buy. I tried blowing on my zirconium oxide emitters, since that usually does the trick, but alas, something was still not right.

Then one day I stumbled across "Jesus is like my Scanning Electron Microscope" and I knew that somewhere inside I would find all of the answers that I needed! My suspicions were correct - it turns out that I was treating my electron microscope as if it were a piece of scientific equipment, instead of treating it as if it were my God. At once, I accepted my scanning electron microscope as my Lord and personal Savior, I bathed myself in its electron flow (which was tricky), and I began to preach its Good Data to everyone I encountered. I would endlessly read passages from the user manual, such as my favorite, from the book of SEM 8-4500, Chapter 9, Section 1:2, which tells us:

> The safety considerations are very minimal

> when using the scanning electron microscope.

> You are protected from all of the inner workings

> of the microscope by the plastic casing.

Could anything be more true in this topsy-turvy world of ours? I think we all would like to be protected from the "inner workings" of things. All we must do is give ourselves up to the scanning electron microscope, and its plastic casing.

But the important thing to me is how this has affected my life. I was looking for answers from my electron microscope. I wanted it to do things for me. But that was selfish and short sighted, and very "scientifically minded" of me. Now I merely look at what my scanning electron microscope can do for, and also do to others.

Since it still does not do anything in any kind of conventional sense, I am left to interpret what it wants me to do, say and believe. I have joyfully discovered that it wants me to oppress homosexuals, women, Jews, Muslims and blacks (I'm not entirely sure on that last one, but it's just to be on the safe side). It has told me to hate politicians who pretend that they aren't Muslims, but we really know they are. Also, it tells me to collect large sums of money from people, because it is a hungry, ravenous God. And it has revealed that tunneling electron microscopes are the devil.

To everyone that reads this, I ask you to look deeply into your soul, and accept my scanning electron microscope as your personal Lord and savior, and send it money.

 

[NCCommish]

I need to find a copy of Jesus Is Like My Scanning Electron Microscope.

Please let me know if you find that they also sell a t-shirt. Oh, please, let there be a t-shirt!

Not yet, but I liked this:

My Scanning Electron Microscope Saves

By Club Ed on September 29, 2009

Format: Paperback

I was having trouble with my scanning electron microscope, and I could not figure out where to turn for solutions. I suspected that the fundamental problem would lie in my lanthanum hexaboride cathodes, but the vacuum system was recently upgraded and its field emission guns are the best thermally-assisted Schottky guns that money can buy. I tried blowing on my zirconium oxide emitters, since that usually does the trick, but alas, something was still not right.

Then one day I stumbled across "Jesus is like my Scanning Electron Microscope" and I knew that somewhere inside I would find all of the answers that I needed! My suspicions were correct - it turns out that I was treating my electron microscope as if it were a piece of scientific equipment, instead of treating it as if it were my God. At once, I accepted my scanning electron microscope as my Lord and personal Savior, I bathed myself in its electron flow (which was tricky), and I began to preach its Good Data to everyone I encountered. I would endlessly read passages from the user manual, such as my favorite, from the book of SEM 8-4500, Chapter 9, Section 1:2, which tells us:

> The safety considerations are very minimal

> when using the scanning electron microscope.

> You are protected from all of the inner workings

> of the microscope by the plastic casing.

Could anything be more true in this topsy-turvy world of ours? I think we all would like to be protected from the "inner workings" of things. All we must do is give ourselves up to the scanning electron microscope, and its plastic casing.

But the important thing to me is how this has affected my life. I was looking for answers from my electron microscope. I wanted it to do things for me. But that was selfish and short sighted, and very "scientifically minded" of me. Now I merely look at what my scanning electron microscope can do for, and also do to others.

Since it still does not do anything in any kind of conventional sense, I am left to interpret what it wants me to do, say and believe. I have joyfully discovered that it wants me to oppress homosexuals, women, Jews, Muslims and blacks (I'm not entirely sure on that last one, but it's just to be on the safe side). It has told me to hate politicians who pretend that they aren't Muslims, but we really know they are. Also, it tells me to collect large sums of money from people, because it is a hungry, ravenous God. And it has revealed that tunneling electron microscopes are the devil.

To everyone that reads this, I ask you to look deeply into your soul, and accept my scanning electron microscope as your personal Lord and savior, and send it money.

I'd rather buy this guys book. Well played.

 

[badmojo1006]

Kurt Warner gives his opinion

 

[joffer]

Kurt Warner gives his opinion

i saw that

 

[cstu]

Butterflies prove creationism.

Carsten Philip Vedvik1 week ago

Millions of years does not prove it at all! This transformation happens fast, whilst the evolution theory is supposed to have happened over millions of years and really slow. The caterpillar do not transform to anything else than a butterfly. According to evolution, this caterpillar should turn into probably hundreds of different species.

Cheri Fields 11 months ago

Did you know this process does the Evolutionist no favors? In fact, you can safely read any kids' page on butterflies without worrying about explaining that things didn't have to happen that way. Why? Because the ideas they've come up with to explain metamorphosis are so crazy a kid would just laugh!
Find out why on my series: http://creationscience4kids.com/2013/05/15/insect-metamorphosis-evolution-part-1/

BOOM!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Look at this clownshoe. Never knew Curt Shilling was reterded.

 

[El Floppo]

wow... didn't know we still had threads that were 10 years old here.

this thread is almost as old as the earth.

 

[joffer]

Look at this clownshoe. Never knew Curt Shilling was reterded.

nothing about dragons?.noob

 

[Scoresman]

how do we move creationists out of the gene pool? is this possible in the new republican america?

 

[Koya]

how do we move creationists out of the gene pool? is this possible in the new republican america?

No. In fact, they are the only people allowed to be cloned.

 

[joffer]

http://wonkette.com/567673/homeschool-mom-disproves-evolution-because-science-museum-is-stupid

This is gold

 

[Rubi]

I believe God created evolution

 

[Hilts]

http://wonkette.com/567673/homeschool-mom-disproves-evolution-because-science-museum-is-stupid

This is gold

That's incredibly sad and scary.

OTOH, Love how ANGRY she is. Also, dragons!!!

 

[The Goat]

how do we move creationists out of the gene pool? is this possible in the new republican america?

No.

You're about 70 years and a Reich too late.

 

[Mario Kart]

I'm not sure but I doubt The Field Museum wants their exhibits on The YouTube.

 

[Bucky86]

Kurt Warner gives his opinion

Good god. moron. And I always liked him.

 

[CowboysFromHell]

http://wonkette.com/567673/homeschool-mom-disproves-evolution-because-science-museum-is-stupid

This is gold

Somebody please do a parody of this in the creation museum.

 

[Quez]

Stoned Ape Theory FTW! It is the only theory that I have heard that gives a plauplausible explanation for the growth of the frontal lobes.

Something made human evolution rapidly speed up.

 

[rockaction]

http://wonkette.com/567673/homeschool-mom-disproves-evolution-because-science-museum-is-stupid

This is gold

Somebody please do a parody of this in the creation museum.

I see Wonkette, when not causing hookers to kill themselves while claiming confidant (hush hush) status, is still classy after all these years.

Bravo, Wonkette! And to you, too, Ana Marie, progenitor and once-proprietor, for your Chuck Taylors at 50!

 

[fatness]

http://wonkette.com/567673/homeschool-mom-disproves-evolution-because-science-museum-is-stupid

This is gold

That's incredibly sad and scary.

OTOH, Love how ANGRY she is. Also, dragons!!!

She's got a bunch of videos on her youtube channel.

That video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=32mxZxv3dYM

Her other videos: https://www.youtube.com/user/intolerantfox/videos

Apparently she's at war with her local library because she wanted to use the computer in the kids section and things went badly.

first https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87Ft7umHNvw&list=UU9XP_Ax4_vTi1IqSSRD9ORQ

second https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH_34hBVj7Q&list=UU9XP_Ax4_vTi1IqSSRD9ORQ

There must be 50 videos there about Evil Library.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Stoned Ape Theory FTW! It is the only theory that I have heard that gives a plauplausible explanation for the growth of the frontal lobes.

Something made human evolution rapidly speed up.

Was it Jeebus?

 

[Lutherman2112]

http://wonkette.com/567673/homeschool-mom-disproves-evolution-because-science-museum-is-stupid

This is gold

Wow. That woman is so dense, light bends around her.

 

[cstu]

how do we move creationists out of the gene pool? is this possible in the new republican america?

No.

You're about 70 years and a Reich too late.

4th time's a charm.

 

[cstu]

http://wonkette.com/567673/homeschool-mom-disproves-evolution-because-science-museum-is-stupid

This is gold

I would prefer that we tell them “It’s OK not to know. It’s OK to say ‘I don’t know.’”

That sums it up.

 

[Mario Kart]

how do we move creationists out of the gene pool? is this possible in the new republican america?

No.You're about 70 years and a Reich too late.

4th time's a charm.

The South will rise again! Viva the South!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

http://wonkette.com/567673/homeschool-mom-disproves-evolution-because-science-museum-is-stupid

This is gold

Wow. That woman is so dense, light bends around her.

Oh please. Light doesn't bend. When you turn on a lamp do you see the light bending? Have you ever seen a shadow? If light could bend there wouldn't be shadows because the light would simply bend around objects.

 

[joffer]

"I don't know how to pronounce this so I'll just pretend..."

 

[msommer]

This just makes me sad.

Almost overwhelmed with sadness.

But then I think of the Bell curve and how some people must be at the extreme left of the mean.

I just wish it wasn't so

When she dies one day, perhaps there will be a Darwin award coming

 

[Ilov80s]

This just makes me sad.

Almost overwhelmed with sadness.

But then I think of the Bell curve and how some people must be at the extreme left of the mean.

I just wish it wasn't so

When she dies one day, perhaps there will be a Darwin award coming

It has nothing to do with IQ. It's ignorance and arrogance.

 

[dkp993]

This just makes me sad.

Almost overwhelmed with sadness.

But then I think of the Bell curve and how some people must be at the extreme left of the mean.

I just wish it wasn't so

When she dies one day, perhaps there will be a Darwin award coming

It has nothing to do with IQ. It's ignorance and arrogance.

Unfortunately that is a dangerous combination.

 

[msommer]

This just makes me sad.

Almost overwhelmed with sadness.

But then I think of the Bell curve and how some people must be at the extreme left of the mean.

I just wish it wasn't so

When she dies one day, perhaps there will be a Darwin award coming

It has nothing to do with IQ. It's ignorance and arrogance.

Ignorance and arrogance distribution do not follow a bell curve?

I'll hang up and listen

 

[Mr. Pickles]

http://wonkette.com/567673/homeschool-mom-disproves-evolution-because-science-museum-is-stupid

This is gold

Wow. That woman is so dense, light bends around her.

Oh please. Light doesn't bend. When you turn on a lamp do you see the light bending? Have you ever seen a shadow? If light could bend there wouldn't be shadows because the light would simply bend around objects.

Diffraction is the devil's spawn.

 

[Ilov80s]

This just makes me sad.

Almost overwhelmed with sadness.

But then I think of the Bell curve and how some people must be at the extreme left of the mean.

I just wish it wasn't so

When she dies one day, perhaps there will be a Darwin award coming

It has nothing to do with IQ. It's ignorance and arrogance.

Ignorance and arrogance distribution do not follow a bell curve?I'll hang up and listen

You have a study to show it does?

 

[joffer]

I imagine Behe and Dembski score well on an IQ test

 

[msommer]

I imagine Behe and Dembski score well on an IQ test

What if the questions were about science. or 'science'?

 

[MC Gas Money]

If you dont buy the standard evolution model then that is fine.

If you believe in any religions creation scenario then that is just a mental illness.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

If you dont buy the standard evolution model then that is fine.

No, it isn't. It isn't close to fine.

 

[cstu]

This just makes me sad.

Almost overwhelmed with sadness.

But then I think of the Bell curve and how some people must be at the extreme left of the mean.

I just wish it wasn't so

When she dies one day, perhaps there will be a Darwin award coming

It has nothing to do with IQ. It's ignorance and arrogance.

Ignorance and arrogance distribution do not follow a bell curve?I'll hang up and listen

You have a study to show it does?

Most continuous variables in nature are normally distributed.

 

[Ilov80s]

This just makes me sad.

Almost overwhelmed with sadness.

But then I think of the Bell curve and how some people must be at the extreme left of the mean.

I just wish it wasn't so

When she dies one day, perhaps there will be a Darwin award coming

It has nothing to do with IQ. It's ignorance and arrogance.

Ignorance and arrogance distribution do not follow a bell curve?I'll hang up and listen

You have a study to show it does?

Most continuous variables in nature are normally distributed.

Most, but not all. Also, I'm not sure arrogance and ignorance are traits in the same way IQ or height are.It's all irrelevant to the discussion. I assumed the poster meant IQ and offered my opinion. I may have assumed wrong so that's on me.

 

[MC Gas Money]

If you dont buy the standard evolution model then that is fine.

No, it isn't. It isn't close to fine.

Its fine with me. I really dont care.

 

[rockaction]

If arrogance and ignorance are correlated with low IQs, where does that leave self-satisfied, smug atheists in terms of IQ?

 

[MC Gas Money]

If arrogance and ignorance are correlated with low IQs, where does that leave self-satisfied, smug atheists in terms of IQ?

Define smug.

 

[rockaction]

If arrogance and ignorance are correlated with low IQs, where does that leave self-satisfied, smug atheists in terms of IQ?

Define smug.

smug
sməɡ/
adjective

1. having or showing an excessive pride in oneself or one's achievements.
   "he was feeling smug after his win"
   synonyms: self-satisfied, self-congratulatory, complacent, superior, pleased with oneself, conceited "he was feeling smug after his win"
   
   smug adjective \ˈsməg\ : having or showing the annoying quality of people who feel very pleased or satisfied with their abilities, achievements, etc.
   

 

[Eminence]

I believe in creationism, as in God created the Universe.

The problem with evolution and what irks me when they naysay creationism is the fact that neither side can explain the Big Bang.

The argument goes, "You're so dumb to think a God made everything from nothing". But then you ask them where the matter from the Big Bang came from and everyone starts grasping at straws.

"We don't know."

Get off your high horse, obviously the Bible is a little embellished but it's existence is the furthest thing than evidence that God isn't up there pulling strings.

 

[cstu]

If arrogance and ignorance are correlated with low IQs, where does that leave self-satisfied, smug atheists in terms of IQ?

Atheists are generally the opposite of ignorant. Some may be, but most have studied a lot about religion.

 

[joffer]

The problem with evolution and what irks me when they naysay creationism is the fact that neither side can explain the Big Bang.

you're kidding. A biologist/paleontologist/anthropologist can't answer an particle physics question? Get out of town!

 

[rockaction]

If arrogance and ignorance are correlated with low IQs, where does that leave self-satisfied, smug atheists in terms of IQ?

Atheists are generally the opposite of ignorant. Some may be, but most have studied a lot about religion.

Oh, that's very true. You'll get no arguments here. I actually think thoughtful Western atheists, for the most part, do better than most Western apologists.

I was talking about the lack of knowledge about how we actually got here. We must be ignorant of it almost by definition, aside from theory and speculation.

But I guess ignorance can imply a lack of book learning, yes.

 

[cstu]

I believe in creationism, as in God created the Universe.

The problem with evolution and what irks me when they naysay creationism is the fact that neither side can explain the Big Bang.

The argument goes, "You're so dumb to think a God made everything from nothing". But then you ask them where the matter from the Big Bang came from and everyone starts grasping at straws.

"We don't know."

Get off your high horse, obviously the Bible is a little embellished but it's existence is the furthest thing than evidence that God isn't up there pulling strings.

This debate is pointless IMO. If it makes you feel better that God created the universe then go for it but there's no evidence of God's involvement since.