Dad jokes (1 Viewer)

[Dinsy Ejotuz]

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

 

[Dinsy Ejotuz]

Me: I have a knock-knock joke, but you have to start it.

Kid: Knock-knock

Me: Who's there?

Kid:

 

[Dinsy Ejotuz]

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7-8-9.

 

[Dinsy Ejotuz]

What did 0 say to 8?

Nice belt!

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Elevator jokes are the best, they work on many levels.

I think my version of that joke is a step up on yours. I say it the same except i replace elevator with escalator.

This reminds me of my ordeal at the shopping mall. The escalator broke down and I was stuck on it for two hours.

 

[gianmarco]

This one is much better spoken....

"Why does the name Edward Woodward have so many D's in it?"
"Because otherwise he would be Ewar Woowar"

 

[Chaz McNulty]

Did you know that alligators can live to be 100 years old?
That's why you are more likely to see them later.

 

[Andrew74]

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change color? He had a reptile dysfunction.

 

[skol asylum]

I've been telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's about raisin awareness.

 

[gianmarco]

3 conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. Now you can't tell me that's a coincidence.

 

[eighsse2]

I got in a fight at the grocery. I smacked the guy with a baloney sausage and broke a bottle of wine over his head. I'm being charged with baloneyous assault capable of causing grape bottley harm.

 

[Senor Schmutzig]

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and deer nuts?

One costs .69 cents, the other is just under a buck.

 

[tuffnutt]

Why is 6 scared of 7?

Because he’s a registered six offender

 

[Hastur]

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

Not according to my kids, it becomes 'apparent' when they decide it is funny. it becomes "stupid" lol

 

[matttyl]

Why do all Swedish Naval vessels have bar codes on their hulls?

So when they come into port they can Scandinavian.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Why do sardines swim into fishing nets?

Because they like it in the can.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81. He said no.

 

[Hastur]

What do you call two men hanging on a window?

Curt and Rod.

 

[Jayrod]

I hope I'm not the only person taking the jokes from this thread and absolutely KILLING it around the house tonight.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Your mom's a whore.

That’s what I love most about your mom.

@AAABatteries permission to be inappropriate here? Is this what started the jokes? I don't even recall, but it deserves the appropriate response all these years later regardless

 

[AAABatteries]

Your mom's a whore.

That’s what I love most about your mom.

@AAABatteries permission to be inappropriate here? Is this what started the jokes? I don't even recall, but it deserves the appropriate response all these years later regardless

Permission to engage.

 

[El Floppo]

Your mom's a whore.

That’s what I love most about your mom.

@AAABatteries permission to be inappropriate here? Is this what started the jokes? I don't even recall, but it deserves the appropriate response all these years later regardless

Permission to engage.

@Ned's Mom

 

[zamboni]

I asked my wife how to stop telling dad jokes.

Wife: “Whatever means necessary.”

Me: “No, it doesn’t.”