TheIronSheik said:
Mr. Ham said:
TheIronSheik said:
cstu said:
glumpy said:
playin4beer said:
Gave me goosebumps.. and for the record, I'm not a believer.. in ghosts, heaven, god or pretty much any afterlife. I think when you die, you just go to sleep and don't wake up.
I believe. Don't know in what form but I've tried to imagine nothingness and that's a concept that's a whole lot harder to wrap my brain around.
A shorter version happens to you every night.
Let's not turn this into a religious fight, please.This thread was meant to help me heal over losing a very close family member. There are plenty of other threads to argue religion in the FFA.
TIA
I'm not far enough from our loss to offer any real clarity. It's hard. But it does afford you an opportunity, and it's important to realize that. That opportunity is to realign around meaning, and calibrate appreciation for what matters. It's a ####ty way to arrive at it, but it's not without its poetry.Edit: my deep condolences. And if you ever want to talk, please PM.
Oddly enough, my first thought was of you, GB. When I read yours and BB's posts, I couldn't imagine the pain. I think the weirdest thing is that for 22 and 1/2 hours of the day, I'm pretty good. But every so often, when things slow down, or I start to think of something, it's like it hits me all over again. Yesterday, it happened at work and I had to leave early. Today is my first full day back. I have 90 minutes to go and for the last couple of hours I've been fighting a full melt down. I'm sure holding it in doesn't help, but I just can't break in to tears while I'm at work.
When I'm home, I cry on my GF's shoulder and it definitely helps. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. Then a week. And so on.
Today is one week since I got the news. Definitely still rough.
It's been close to 9 weeks for me. Almost enough time for Mickey Rourke and Kim Bassinger to have a romance, but not nearly enough time to mourn our loss.He died on a Saturday, and I tried to start back at work two Mondays later. That effort failed, miserably. I tried again the next week and the next, and they were only marginally better. The next week I started to get really worried. I was trying, but couldn't do anything to stay focused. The harder I did try, the more it was like getting stuck in mud. I'd work a couple of hours, then need to take the dog for a walk or go work out.
It wasn't until about two weeks ago, which would have been the middle of week 6, that I was talking to one of my best friends who also happens to be the CMO of one of our major customers. He asked me how I was doing, in the course of a work call, and luckily we are close enough that I could tell him the truth, and not "okay". (He and his wife delayed their long distance move by a week when our son died, so close buddy).
I said I felt like I had suffered the emotional equivalent of multiple compound fractures that would have me in a full body cast, and that if I had that cast to show for it, no would ask me, "How soon until you're jogging again?" I wouldn't ask myself.
I realized, essentially, that I should be laid up even though you couldn't see my cast. I'm injured. Severely so.
That was a big epiphany for me. It wasn't until I recognized that I was not / am not "okay", nor should I be, that I actually started to heal. Permission to heal on my own time removed pressure, which helped.
The last two weeks have been productive. Not 100% of where I was before, but at least 80%.
The point is: It takes time and you cannot rush it. You will not control it, so let it happen. Things will change. You will not like that either, for its own reasons, but It's a process.