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Do you have any Office Mysteries? (1 Viewer)

badmojo1006

badmojo1006

Footballguy
We have a Water Cooler in the front office. Most of us use our own glass or water carrier but there are small plastic cups next to the cooler.

We started noticing that every once in a while, there would be one of the small cups sitting on top of the water jug in the morning when we got in to the office.

We have narrowed it down to either Monday morning or Thursday morning. It doesn't happen all the time.

Pretty sure it is the cleaning staff (they come in on the weekends and on Wed night), but not definite.

 
Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?

Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?

Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?

Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?

 
Somebody left a potato in the microwave for 30 minutes. It burned, and the floor had to be evacuated. No one ever copped to it.

 
This goes back about 5-6 years but at my old company there was a giant mystery for about a month. We had the top floor of the building and there were roughly 60 employees with a little more than half being men. We all shared one bath with two stalls. Well, me and the small group I worked with (there were 4 of us) started to notice that someone was blowing up one of the stalls on a daily basis. They were basically using an inordinate amount of TP when they dropped a duece and it would clog the crapper. Finally, one of my buddies grabbed me one day and said come over here as we staked out near the bathroom door. My buddy had been in there taking a piss when he heard the culprit yanking out roll after roll of TP. We identified the guy, he was a sales person in another division. We made up a sign and posted in in the bathroom. "Dear Toilet Bomber, We know who you are and if this doesn't stop soon the rest of the company will know as well". The dude ended up not heeding the warning so we went to his boss and told him what was going on. We told the boss he needed to confront the guy but he wanted no part of it. We ended up creating a fake email account and calling him out so that he knew we were not bluffing. Dude ended up going down a floor and blowing up that bathroom every day.

 
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? Because if I had known that kind of thing was frowned upon, I would have never...

 
For a while there was some ######## dropping paper towels in the urinal every day. Not only did they stink, but it was pretty disrespectful to the cleaning staff who had to pick that out of there. I wrote a nice note and posted it and it continued to happen. I then wrote a nasty note and it stopped.

The End.

 
In our office there is a red button on the wall. No one is exactly sure what the button does. Most assume that it kills the power to the server room in the event of fire. :shrug:

No one has had the guts to press it and see.

http://imgur.com/dgcdU8X

 
butcher boy said:
top dog said:
In our office there is a red button on the wall. No one is exactly sure what the button does. Most assume that it kills the power to the server room in the event of fire. :shrug:

No one has had the guts to press it and see.

http://imgur.com/dgcdU8X
Click to expand...
PUSH THE ####### BUTTON.
Click to expand...
I told my boss if he ever fires me I'm going to run into the server room, swap a bunch of cables around all over and hit the red button on the way out the door.

 
At a previous place of employ, it was noted on the door to a bathroom stall that a female coworker was a h00r. Our security fella had to take the door off the hinges and carry it about 1,000 feet to his office. Where they then threatened to perform handwriting analysis on the 600 or so male employees of the building.

Resolution:

Hand writing analysis was never performed, but the guilty party was eventually ferreted out. he went with the "truth is a defense against libel" defense and stated that not only was she a h00r, but they had been intimate in several company owned areas. After quickly checking the tapes, they were both unemployed.

 
I intentionally created a mystery at an office I worked at.

When I was nineteen I was a bank teller. It was a small branch. Besides me, there was only one bank manager (another guy) and two other tellers (two middle aged ladies). The ladies secretly didn't like each other. The moment Lady 1 went on lunch break, Lady 2 would bad mouth Lady 1 to me almost the entire time. Similarly, whenever Lady 2 was on break, Lady 1 would talk trash about her to me. Both, of course, were very cordial when around each other to the extent that I don't think either appreciated the secret disdain they had for each other.

Since the office was so small we had two single-sitter bathrooms. One men's room for the two dudes in the office, and one women's room for the two ladies in the office. One time, when I knew that absolutely nobody was around and I was in the clear, I snuck into the ladies room, floated a massive log, and left it in the bowl for the next visitor to discover. I knew my mission was accomplished when Lady 1 came to me and started going off about how disgusting Lady 2 is because Lady 2 just leaves her feces for others to find like some kind of animal. :lol:

It was so amusing to me that I'd periodically float a mystery dump in the ladies' room every several weeks, and it almost always lead to one lady complaining to me that the other lady is a pig. :porked:

 
Have another mystery at work as well.. About 7 months ago I was in the bathroom inside one of the stalls. I hear someone a few stalls down grunt a few times, then "POP!!!!"

Not the usual sounds guys make as they drop a deuce... This was an emense "pop". Like the sound of balloon getting popped. Actually scared me so much I dropped my phone I was surfing the internet on onto the floor. This guy quickly finished up rolling out some TP, flushed and was on his way.....

About a month ago same thing.. I'm in one of the stalls when I hear someone come into the bathroom, sit down a couple stalls over... GRUNT, GRUNT, "POP!!!!", you hear the TP roll out, flush, GONE.

I've never heard that sound before. Somewhat troubling as to how someone's ### could make that disturbing of a noise.

A couple other guys in the office have heard the same thing. Our best guess is that it must be one of the truckers that is delivering to our warehouse all day.

:shrug:

 
Al O said:
I intentionally created a mystery at an office I worked at.

When I was nineteen I was a bank teller. It was a small branch. Besides me, there was only one bank manager (another guy) and two other tellers (two middle aged ladies). The ladies secretly didn't like each other. The moment Lady 1 went on lunch break, Lady 2 would bad mouth Lady 1 to me almost the entire time. Similarly, whenever Lady 2 was on break, Lady 1 would talk trash about her to me. Both, of course, were very cordial when around each other to the extent that I don't think either appreciated the secret disdain they had for each other.

Since the office was so small we had two single-sitter bathrooms. One men's room for the two dudes in the office, and one women's room for the two ladies in the office. One time, when I knew that absolutely nobody was around and I was in the clear, I snuck into the ladies room, floated a massive log, and left it in the bowl for the next visitor to discover. I knew my mission was accomplished when Lady 1 came to me and started going off about how disgusting Lady 2 is because Lady 2 just leaves her feces for others to find like some kind of animal. :lol:

It was so amusing to me that I'd periodically float a mystery dump in the ladies' room every several weeks, and it almost always lead to one lady complaining to me that the other lady is a pig. :porked:
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao:

 
Al O said:
I intentionally created a mystery at an office I worked at.

When I was nineteen I was a bank teller. It was a small branch. Besides me, there was only one bank manager (another guy) and two other tellers (two middle aged ladies). The ladies secretly didn't like each other. The moment Lady 1 went on lunch break, Lady 2 would bad mouth Lady 1 to me almost the entire time. Similarly, whenever Lady 2 was on break, Lady 1 would talk trash about her to me. Both, of course, were very cordial when around each other to the extent that I don't think either appreciated the secret disdain they had for each other.

Since the office was so small we had two single-sitter bathrooms. One men's room for the two dudes in the office, and one women's room for the two ladies in the office. One time, when I knew that absolutely nobody was around and I was in the clear, I snuck into the ladies room, floated a massive log, and left it in the bowl for the next visitor to discover. I knew my mission was accomplished when Lady 1 came to me and started going off about how disgusting Lady 2 is because Lady 2 just leaves her feces for others to find like some kind of animal. :lol:

It was so amusing to me that I'd periodically float a mystery dump in the ladies' room every several weeks, and it almost always lead to one lady complaining to me that the other lady is a pig. :porked:
Click to expand...
The Phantom Logger strikes again...

 
badmojo1006 said:
We have a Water Cooler in the front office. Most of us use our own glass or water carrier but there are small plastic cups next to the cooler.

We started noticing that every once in a while, there would be one of the small cups sitting on top of the water jug in the morning when we got in to the office.

We have narrowed it down to either Monday morning or Thursday morning. It doesn't happen all the time.

Pretty sure it is the cleaning staff (they come in on the weekends and on Wed night), but not definite.
Click to expand...
Good work, Copernicus.
 
top dog said:
Have another mystery at work as well.. About 7 months ago I was in the bathroom inside one of the stalls. I hear someone a few stalls down grunt a few times, then "POP!!!!"

Not the usual sounds guys make as they drop a deuce... This was an emense "pop". Like the sound of balloon getting popped. Actually scared me so much I dropped my phone I was surfing the internet on onto the floor. This guy quickly finished up rolling out some TP, flushed and was on his way.....

About a month ago same thing.. I'm in one of the stalls when I hear someone come into the bathroom, sit down a couple stalls over... GRUNT, GRUNT, "POP!!!!", you hear the TP roll out, flush, GONE.

I've never heard that sound before. Somewhat troubling as to how someone's ### could make that disturbing of a noise.

A couple other guys in the office have heard the same thing. Our best guess is that it must be one of the truckers that is delivering to our warehouse all day.

:shrug:
Click to expand...
Dislocated Sphincter/Chronic Prolapse Syndrome.

 
Along the lines of the bathroom humor, we do have a guy who I've noticed several times. He'll come into the bathroom, go into a stall, take a pish standing up, then turn around and sit down and take a deuce.

I've never met anyone who does that. I've seen his badge on his belt, so I know it's the same guy. The only explaination I've gotten was from a buddy who said, "Maybe he's hung like a horse and he doesn't want to get "it" wet trying to pee sitting down, so he pees standing up, then drapes it over the seat while he takes his deuce."

 
I had a mysterious bathroom situation at my workplace a few years ago. Somone was regularly leaving large piles of unused toilet paper on the floor next to the toilet, which were often wrapped in a circle like some sort of toilet paper nest. We deemed this mystery person to be "the nester." Despite our best efforts, we could never catch "the nester" coming out of the stall leaving behind a pile of toilet paper.

I ended up starting a spreadsheet to keep track of the dates upon which we found nests in the stall. Because almost all of the office worked at home one day a week, I was able to systematically eliminate potential suspects by comparing the dates on which we found nests with the list of people who had the alibi of either working at home or being on leave on that particular day. After a couple months, I was able to eliminate everyone in the office, except for one suspect -- one of the paralegals who never worked at home. We also knew that this paralegal exclusively used the handicapped stall where we always found the nests. We concluded that the paralegal had to be "the nester."

"The nester" eventually got called out by one of the members of our investigative squad, and, thereafter, we never found another toilet paper nest again. I'm still not exactly sure what the purpose or rationale of the nests were.

 
Buckfast 1 said:
I had a mysterious bathroom situation at my workplace a few years ago. Somone was regularly leaving large piles of unused toilet paper on the floor next to the toilet, which were often wrapped in a circle like some sort of toilet paper nest. We deemed this mystery person to be "the nester." Despite our best efforts, we could never catch "the nester" coming out of the stall leaving behind a pile of toilet paper.

I ended up starting a spreadsheet to keep track of the dates upon which we found nests in the stall. Because almost all of the office worked at home one day a week, I was able to systematically eliminate potential suspects by comparing the dates on which we found nests with the list of people who had the alibi of either working at home or being on leave on that particular day. After a couple months, I was able to eliminate everyone in the office, except for one suspect -- one of the paralegals who never worked at home. We also knew that this paralegal exclusively used the handicapped stall where we always found the nests. We concluded that the paralegal had to be "the nester."

"The nester" eventually got called out by one of the members of our investigative squad, and, thereafter, we never found another toilet paper nest again. I'm still not exactly sure what the purpose or rationale of the nests were.
Click to expand...
Amateur...good pranksters work with a co-worker so that you can always set up an alibi if needed.

ETA: Nice detective work though.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Someone wipes boogers on the wall next to the urinal at work.
Click to expand...
Dammit... this.

Or at least "this" when I worked for Rafael Vinoly. And I think it was him that did it. Little ####### Uruguayan wannabe Argentinian mother ####### booger wiper mother ####er.

 
El Floppo said:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Someone wipes boogers on the wall next to the urinal at work.
Click to expand...
Dammit... this.

Or at least "this" when I worked for Rafael Vinoly. And I think it was him that did it. Little ####### Uruguayan wannabe Argentinian mother ####### booger wiper mother ####er.
Click to expand...
Am I supposed to know who Rafael Vinoly is?Also, the Uruguayan accent is way better bb than the Argie accent, plus they're typically a bit nicer.

 
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