Draft Night One Liners (1 Viewer)

[stlrams]

As commish I want to spice up draft night so I'm soliciting any funny one liners you may have. It can be about a certain player or just a funny line.....

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

"It's not a Toomah!"

 

[QUEZILLA]

"Didn't that guy just get his 4th DUI?"

 

[ooofffaaa]

"Isn't that dude still on lockdown?"

 

[shamrock84]

And with the 3rd overall pick of the 2006 stlrams draft shamrock selects... "Your Mom."

 

[Jiggyonthehut]

 

[wannabee]

I got this one from Jeff Pasquino:

That pick was like a Portis tackle. I hope you did not throw your shoulder out with that reach.

 

[Tillmanisahero]

"Wow thats a real Gutsy pick"

 

[B. Nugget]

"Somebody had to take him"

B. Nugget

 

[Pittsburgh United]

Manning retired...

 

[QUEZILLA]

"Sleeper!"

 

[jasvic]

When someone reaches or takes a kicker/defense way early:

"Wow, is it the 10th round already?"

 

[Franknbeans]

:championship:

 

[offdee]

T.J. Hoozmanzilla.......(under your breath) Championship.

 

[Shiggy Shaol]

An old classic, when somebody takes a veteran:

"Wait, are you looking at 2004's cheat sheet?"

 

[nightshift]

"You do know it's 2006 right?"

"He's got VBD, not VD."

"Another rookie? You usin' EBF's cheatsheets?"

 

[gildawg]

"Hurry up and pick...I need a good laugh."

When they take two players from their favorite team...."Marge called, she wants Homer to come home now"

"Matt Millen called, he wants his draft strategy back"

"I heard Clarett will be signed by the Bengals after they post his $5mill bail. So draft him here"

 

[mac daddy]

We were drafting on conference call and IM, and I was logging all the picks online. When Maurice Jones-Drew was drafted, I typed in Maurice Jones-Drew-Joiner-Kersey. People seemed to have a chuckle. Also did Uncle Rico for Vince Young, of course.

When Santonio Holmes (or any Cincy player) is drafted, you can mention that you heard they were going to be in The Longest Yard II, though most people didn't seem to quite get that.

I wish I had this smilie to use on IM, though.

 

[ditka...mike ditka]

i think i read somthing similar to this on here...but when i scoop up Torry Holt in the 2nd round I plan on saying

"i usually go rb-rb, but I think Holt actually has a chance to see more balls this year than Luke's (insert your own friends name) girlfriends chin"

 

[stlrams]

Thanks guys for your help and hopefully others will benefit....

 

[Tillmanisahero]

<chuckle> "No really, stop goofing around....who ya picking"

 

[Tillmanisahero]

i think i read somthing similar to this on here...but when i scoop up Torry Holt in the 2nd round I plan on saying"i usually go rb-rb, but I think Holt actually has a chance to see more balls this year than Luke's (insert your own friends name) girlfriends chin"

I am sooo going to use that one!

 

[Chaka]

When someone makes a reach, start making a big fuss of looking over your cheatsheets (so the drafter notices), let it die for two or three picks, then loudly proclaim, "Oh wait, I finally found X on my cheatsheet!"

 

[Heatman]

OK OK I give. What exactly does this mean? I've seen it on other posts but have never figured it out. I absolutly know I'm going to feel stupid after you tell me but oh well.

 

[Kit Fisto]

Hope you stretched! (before that reach...)

 

[Tillmanisahero]

OK OK I give. What exactly does this mean? I've seen it on other posts but have never figured it out. I absolutly know I'm going to feel stupid after you tell me but oh well.

You are the only one brave enough to ask.....I don't know what it means either.

 

[wannabee]

OK OK I give. What exactly does this mean? I've seen it on other posts but have never figured it out. I absolutly know I'm going to feel stupid after you tell me but oh well.

It evolved from:http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index...p;#entry5360237

And is usually utilized when someone is complaining or whining.

 

[semaj33]

that 4 letter network had a bunch in their draft magagine....you should check there...i used mine for toilet paper or i would look them up for you....

why i wasted money on that, i still have no idea...lets just blame it on being on vacation and it being the only magazine in grayling, michigan....

 

[H.K.]

"Matt Millen called, he wants his draft strategy back"

 

[Heatman]

OK OK I give. What exactly does this mean? I've seen it on other posts but have never figured it out. I absolutly know I'm going to feel stupid after you tell me but oh well.

It evolved from:http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index...p;#entry5360237

And is usually utilized when someone is complaining or whining.

Thank you very much.

 

[FatRader]

When (if?) someone drafts Peerless Price: "There's no one quite like him."

 

[Harry Beanbag]

When someone drafts a big time veteran, in your best computerizes voice sing, "I love the 80's" from the VH1 show.

 

[GroveDiesel]

When somebody is taking a while to make a pick:

"Somebody check his pulse, make sure he's still alive over there."

"Just make a pick, you'll probably have to cut him by Week 3 anyway."

 

[H.K.]

"I've seen noses picked better than that"

"That's the worst draft I've seen since drinking off a week old keg in high school" (eta: do your best Rodney Dangerfield for this one)

"Make sure that guy pays before he leaves"

 

[Snot Bubbler]

:Anytime a crappy TE is drafted: "He's a good blocker."

 

[ocstallions]

The "that guy isn't even on my list" one is the old standby. I drafted last Friday and when Gonzo went as the 2nd TE, i used, "A little early for a blocking TE, isn't it?"

My favorite one from that draft was when Westy was picked at the 2nd round-3rd round turn. When the pick was announced, another owner immediately shouted, "are you using your 3rd rounder on a new foot for him?"

 

[Evilhomer3k]

Pick:

Alex Smith

"The tight end, the qb, or the porn star?"

 

[yellowdog]

OK OK I give. What exactly does this mean? I've seen it on other posts but have never figured it out. I absolutly know I'm going to feel stupid after you tell me but oh well.

It evolved from:http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index...p;#entry5360237

And is usually utilized when someone is complaining or whining.

Thank you very much.

You didn't have time to read that whole thread. Do yourself a favor and go back to it later.

 

[amnesiac]

"I didn't know we were drafting cheerleaders too?"

 

[Jeff Pasquino]

Hope you stretched! (before that reach...)

Yep, used that one. "Nice pick - for you.""Thanks! I thought you were going to take someone valuable"

 

[Jeff Pasquino]

Brett Favre:

"Did you miss that minus sign in front of 'INT' on our scoring?"

 

[delusional]

Some nice ones here, shame both my drafts are over :(

I used

" go go gadget arm" for panthers D in the 9th ( a reach )

"doesn't he do the news?" when someone picked greg jennings ( peter jennings )

"wow, he is on page 5" when someone picked dayne

 

[Big Blue Wrecking Crew]

 

[Jeff Pasquino]

Always a good one:

"Do we even have a sticker for that guy? Always good to see write-ins"

 

[Godfather of Soul]

Mandarichtastic!

 

[JimmyD]

Dude, hurry up, the only thing you've done well picking is your butt.

 

[Jeff Pasquino]

You ARE aware that this is for this year right? Dynasty draft is next door.

 

[Chaka]

I could have made a better pick with my c###

 

[videoguy505]

Pick: Alex Smith"The tight end, the qb, or the porn star?"

 

[piston pete griffin]

"Wow, he's not even on my draft board"

"What team does she play for?"

It is also nice to shout "CHUG!" and force everyone to finish their beers.